As many people on this forum know, I have been taking an extremely cautious titration course because of terrible side effects (SEs).
I now believe I have been too cautious, and may well have reached the switch within months had I been braver and more aggressive.
I believe more than ever that there really is a "switch" -- not just a place where you can take it or leave it, where you can control your cravings, etc... I KNOW there is a real switch because I know a lot of real people that it happened to. And I intend to find mine.
(And when I do, I intend to come back here and keep banging it into every new (or old) person's head.)
I was also under the false impression (that many newcomers may also find themselves duped by) that there is a bac/weight ratio at which the switch occurs. Apparently there is not any connection (although there may be a correlation), but unfortunately Dr. OA puts this idea forth in his book, although he does not stress it. But people have clung to it as an indicator of where they need to go to hit their switch, or if they pass it (as I did long ago) that they will never reach their switch.
So to put the record straight for anyone who is new, or still wonders about this, the dose at which you will hit your switch is not related to your weight. It is a combination of genetics and chemistry -- none of us seems to know exactly what roles these play (more about that in a separate post), but the weight/dose/switch connection apparently does not exist.
(Virgil, please accept my huge, humble and heartfelt apologies!)
As I start a more aggressive approach, I have decided to keep a journal on dosing here on the meds forum.
For now, this is just a dosage journal. I wish I had time to comment on my SEs, general impressions, experiences, other important factors – how much drinking, what was going on in my personal life at the time, how much I slept, changes in baclofen supplier, etc. — hope to do that as time goes by.
This is just for me – to keep track of what I am taking. (I do this anyway in a notebook, so all the info is there going back – but I am not going to retype it now (just from Thursday)).
Had been at around 170-200 in last weeks of December beginning January. Had been pushing it up randomly, just feeling my way up (see how my body feels… if I remember, and if I feel I can handle it , add a dose, or increase a dose). The main thing was, although erratic and inconsistent, I never allowed more than 5 hours to go between doses, usually closer to 3-4 hour intervals).
Last few weeks trying for 240-260… mostly ending around or under 240.
Thursday, Feb 17
06:00 bac 30
11:00 bac 50
14.20 bac 50
18.00 bac 50
21.45 bac 30
02.00 bac 20
Total for 24 hours: 230
Friday, Feb 18
06.00 bac 35
09.45 bac 50
12.20 bac 50
16.30 bac 50
21.05 bac 45
03.50 bac 30
Total for 24 hours: 240
Saturday, Feb 18
9.20 bac 35
11.30 bac 35
(ate very small breakfast and started drinking around this time)
14.00 bac 35
very strong SEs – probably from the combination of little food and drinking in the middle of the day. Went to take a nap and could not sleep because of extreme SEs – agitation, tight chest, sound hallucinations…
Later, it occurred to me that my body was actually having withdrawal from bac because the amount I had taken thus far that day was far less than it would have normally been. So, despite the terrible SEs…
17.40 bac 35
18.30 bac 10
Was going to a party (almost didn’t go because of the extreme SEs, but it was a very important family function, so I forced myself to, although I was really scared.)
Drank at least 3 units before we left for the party, and then 2 glasses of champagne as soon as we got there to calm the SEs. Drank very little the rest of the night (2 glasses red wine over 6 hours. Completely effortlessly.)
20.00 bac 25
23.30 bac 25
03.00 bac 25
Total for 24 hours: 225
Sunday, Feb 20 (today)
08.15 bac 25
Drank a big drink at 11:00
12.20 bac 45
Severe SEs… tingling and real jarring electric shocks on hands, feet and head (a new one on me). Complete inability to focus. Panic and physical distress. Hallucinatory noises and lights across my eyes.
16.20 bac 25
(I should have taken this an hour earlier, for sure, but the SEs deterred me… probably a big mistake.)
18.30 bac 25
20.55 bac 25
(rest to come)
You will see how these doses are different and spaced very differently, based both on my schedule and how I feel... I do set alarms, but sometimes I turn them off without following up and realize it later, and sometimes I just don't feel up to it, so I wait... other times I feel like I can take 25, but not 50...
If you have the time and inclination to read through my dosages and have any ideas ot insights about what might be right or wrong, and how I should change it, please let me know. In any event, I will keep posting my dosing as a record for myself, and hopefully adding relevant information later.
Ftr, I am travelling tomorrow and I have never got on a plane without drinking for at least 24 hours beforehand. I don’t expect this to change for this trip, and am already on my second beer (plus a big drink thrown in the morning), despite feeling physically abysmal. I cannot conceive of packing without drinking. I cannot conceive of getting on a plane sober. But feeling physically crappy, together with not so much alcohol in the house (well-planned on my part – just enough to keep me calm, not enough to get trashed) increases the chances of my making it to the airport, and on to the plane. touch wood.
I hope to be able to make more updates later.
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