Daily dosing record - beatle

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Who is Hugo, Tracy?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Update Saturday, March 5, 2011

Hi all, and thank you for all the banter and visuals.

Back at that later.

My update:
270 yesterday, 270 today.

I am not as consistent as I should/would like to be in terms of spacing out the dosing. My alarm goes off at the regular set times, but often inconvenient times, and I just don't take the pills at that time (in deep conversation with ex-boyfriend, interviewing for a job, meeting a new possible business associate, explaining double fractions to my daughter... those kinds of situations).

My alarm is on my phone, so to the others in the room or conversation, it just looks like I got a call, and I hit the don't answer button. Of course, then it's easy to forget. The solution, i've found, is to always put a "snooze" on the alarm, so that you hit the snooze each time you can't/don't take it, and it keeps reminding you periodically until you do it. That's the theory. Then there is always the weak link ? the place where human error enters. And that is to remember to write it down when I do finally take it, and to turn off the snooze before it "reminds" me again and I can't remember if I took them or not. Which just proves my point -- there is no foolproof method to keep to the schedule.

SEs for the past 24hours:

Insomnia: Nothing new here: worse than ever.

Hallucinations: More regular lately, and getting more disconcerting. I'm pretty sure this has to do with the alcohol consumption alongside the increased bac doses. (I'm sure I have mentioned I am still drinking, Ig, because you even told me (I think) to not worry about Al for the moment and focus on the dosing.)

Agitation: Keeps getting worse with every even tiny increment in dose. This is the main reason I am still drinking. (habit is the secondary reason). Around 14-15-ish, my normally racing body and mind start to race so fast and I become anxious and depressed (all of which I am, but gets amplified by the bac), that I want to rush home to get a drink to calm me down and cool the motors. In some ways, this could also be said to be habit-based, but the AL does help take the sharp edges off... just not in the instant-gratification way it used to.

(Now I'm thinking I need to get one beatle-freak moment into each post (since it seems to happen naturally anyway), so here's today's beatle-freak moment:

Here's something I've been thinking about ever since starting bac, and losing that ability to have a terrible, crushing physical need and being able to meet the need, to take the pain away instantly (with one big swig of strong alcohol). I'm missing that perverse feeling of empowerment that came with it and I have repeatedly felt a pang of deep loss when I realize I no longer have that power (nor the dire necessity for it... which is also perversely part of the loss of the power.) Anyone else?)

OK, plan for the next 2-3 days: 270 one more day, then maybe 280?. After that... well maybe there is no after that

Tuesday I change time zones (and days) so I'm not sure how well I will manage to keep to the schedule. But I will try, Oh yes I will.

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Way to go beatle. It's good to see you having such a consistent dose, and I think that's why the SE's seem to be intensifying.

Have you noticed any decrease in your alcohol consumption, or is it all the same as it was. A normal consumption, coupled with high-dose baclofen could very well be responsible for some of the more disconcerting ones. Ig, or whoever said it, was right though - the drinking is of secondary importance when it comes to baclofen.

Perhaps you should just take the pills when your alarm goes off. So what if you are talking to someone. There is nothing alarming about seeing someone take pills, and you can just say they are antiboitics if anyone should ask, although I doubt they would.

I know what you mean about the loss. Myself and a couple of other people have also commented on it. For me, it manifests as no release. I'm sure in time I will discover a way to overcome it though, so I'm not too bothered.

Thanks for the update!

[TracyA]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Bleep, Hugo was a Looney Toons character.

You said: "I want one for a pet. I would call him Stanley, and we would have great adventures together."

Hugo said: "I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him . . . "

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JlVqfC8-UI[/video]]YouTube - Classic Looney Tunes

[TracyA]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Beatle, sorry the SE's are really being bastards for you. But, from what I gather, by the point the desire for alcohol goes away, so does the pressing need to escape the anxiety. Don't know for sure, but it seems to go that way, at least for some people. Maybe it will for you too.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Otter;1070689 wrote: I just want to say, since you are all here, that I DO NOT have a crucifixion complex. Quite the contrary...I am actually BEING crucified...more of that later.

Anyway, one must always look on the bright side of life. The view is good.

Otter, what is this? Am I missing something?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

TracyA;1071106 wrote: Beatle, sorry the SE's are really being bastards for you. But, from what I gather, by the point the desire for alcohol goes away, so does the pressing need to escape the anxiety. Don't know for sure, but it seems to go that way, at least for some people. Maybe it will for you too.

At low doses, baclofen nearly cured my anxiety -- which is a BIG deal in my life. Been going to therapy, meditation classes, learning deep breathing techniques (even have a little gizmo called the Stress Eraser ($80!)), learning tapping, natural remedies -- teas, True Calm, Taurine, a nose spray called "Symmetry" and all kinds of drugs. Nothing at all worked, especially not the drugs. Anti-depressants increase my anxiety and make me even more manic, and the side effects are far worse than bac (hallucinations, paranoia, massive food eliminations through both ends... you get the picture. Anti anxiety meds had different SEs, too varied (by medication) to list. Al was the only "medication" that worked. Until baclofen (at low doses -- and that was a miracle.

But that particular SE miracle boomeranged and now I am even further in anxiety's clutches. Actually, to be more precise, it is agitation which relates to anxiety -- which in the case of bac can be worse than anxiety because it is unidentifiable. Similar to panic attacks. Come to think of it, the bac agitation is like having a low level panic attack for hours at a time.

So if that goes away when I hit the switch point, I will have accomplished two miracles at once.

Can anyone on here report high-level agitation/anxiety that disappeared after the switch? (pleas say yes!ray

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

What are those figures, Lo0p?

lol Lo0p.

Are those pez dispensers?

Any idea where I can get the Beatles set?

[Florieanne]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hi Beatle,

One of us on the French Forum has come to terms with insomnia with melatonin pills ( 100?/. natural) and two others are going to start with melatonin pills today..same dose as yours, same SE so far as insomia is concerned, one of them has withdrawn long ago, the other hasn't.

I was wondering if you could help me with your knowledge on ADs. I've read somewhere that SSRI Ads didn' t work well with baclofen. And my Ad is an SSRI, which doesn't work..I feel very depressed or exhausted ( not sure to be able to make the difference)..
Ne wrote me this morning that you might know...

& Sorry to hear that it's so difficult for you
Florieanne ( new on MWO, French usually posting on the French forum)

[Doggygirl]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hi Beatle. Goes without saying I can't offer any wisdom. But to whatever degree some moral support is helpful, you got it. I hope you find that switch soon, and that it delivers the miracles for you in the same way it has for others.

:l

DG

[Otter]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1071126 wrote: Otter, what is this? Am I missing something?

No, I was in an odd mood. I just couldn't think of anything interesting to say about beetles.

[PbarE]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Beatle, you and I are in pretty much the same place. I am starting 260 today and my SE's mirror yours.

This is going to be the week!

[Booktree]

Daily dosing record - beatle

beatle;1071143 wrote: At low doses, baclofen nearly cured my anxiety -- which is a BIG deal in my life. Been going to therapy, meditation classes, learning deep breathing techniques (even have a little gizmo called the Stress Eraser ($80!)), learning tapping, natural remedies -- teas, True Calm, Taurine, a nose spray called "Symmetry" and all kinds of drugs. Nothing at all worked, especially not the drugs. Anti-depressants increase my anxiety and make me even more manic, and the side effects are far worse than bac (hallucinations, paranoia, massive food eliminations through both ends... you get the picture. Anti anxiety meds had different SEs, too varied (by medication) to list. Al was the only "medication" that worked. Until baclofen (at low doses -- and that was a miracle.

But that particular SE miracle boomeranged and now I am even further in anxiety's clutches. Actually, to be more precise, it is agitation which relates to anxiety -- which in the case of bac can be worse than anxiety because it is unidentifiable. Similar to panic attacks. Come to think of it, the bac agitation is like having a low level panic attack for hours at a time.

Hello Beatle,

I am suddenly experiencing massive amounts of anxiety on bac. I just posted on my thread about last night, which was a nightmare of panic attacks, nausea, and morbid thought loops. I am on 70mg of bac, a level I've been at for a few weeks now. At first, I too found bac to be very calming... so I am confused.

My doctor recently put me on Prozac, for depression, and I have taken it in the past with minimal side effects and a noticeable reduction in anxiety, so I am really not sure what is going on here. Do you think it's the Prozac somehow interacting with the baclofen in a strange way?

I'm terrified. I can't have another night like that because I need to go to work tomorrow and I have to be "on"-- it will be a busy week.

[Otter]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Booktree;1071188 wrote: Hello Beatle,

I am suddenly experiencing massive amounts of anxiety on bac. I just posted on my thread about last night, which was a nightmare of panic attacks, nausea, and morbid thought loops. I am on 70mg of bac, a level I've been at for a few weeks now. At first, I too found bac to be very calming... so I am confused.

My doctor recently put me on Prozac, for depression, and I have taken it in the past with minimal side effects and a noticeable reduction in anxiety, so I am really not sure what is going on here. Do you think it's the Prozac somehow interacting with the baclofen in a strange way?

I'm terrified. I can't have another night like that because I need to go to work tomorrow and I have to be "on"-- it will be a busy week.

High dose baclofen can have heavy side effects. You deal with them by cutting back the dose by about a third. Just ease off. Also, make sure you spread your doses evenly thoughout the day and night, as much as possible to get a slow drip feed of the Baclofen to your brain. This may mean taking a lot of very small doses but that way you avoid the side effects and you can slowly titrate up.

Have you thought of using Mirtazapine as an anti depressant?

[Booktree]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Thanks for the suggestions. I take my doses every 6 hours. I will try breaking them down even more, cut back by a third as well, and see if that helps.

I've never tried Mirtazapine. From what I read it can help with sleep and anxiety, which would be great, but the downside seems to be vastly increased appetite, sugar-cravings, and weight gain (according to CrazyMeds) -- not really something I'm willing to put up with at this point, but I'll keep it in mind, thanks!