Daily dosing record - beatle

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Reggie;1135473 wrote: Beatle!!! BOOO!!!!!!!!!!!:undercover::undercover:

Any chance of a update ...:l:l

Just arsekin?:h

Ha! Hiya, Reg. I know. I'm awaiting one, too.

[RedThread12]

Daily dosing record - beatle

The LoOp link posted is for what IMO, is Jon's funniest show ever, ever, ever. More than well worth a look if you have a clue about who Weiner (pronounced to rhyme with the male sexual organ) is. Jon Stewart for President!!!

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I apologize for the delay. I hope I didn't cause too much worry. I've been working closely with Ne and it was taking all my energy. Literally. And I could not focus on anything else. In fact, I couldn't focus enough to read and respond to posts for a couple days.

In retrospect, this was the wrong time to do something so drastic. And I am messing up my family and other families' holiday. I never would have undertaken such HDB if I knew it would take this long... I cannot and will not let this ruin other people's holidays.

So, PLEASE, do not advise me to just go a couple more days, “you r almost there” -- I don’t want any advice of that sort. It will stress me. I need to destress right now. unless you sincerely think it is dangerous to go down 75mg mg in one day. I did that yesterday and meant to send this post but the internet connection was down.

I had a wonderful day yesterday. After being completely disconnected with world, unable to function AT ALL because of the high dose, in dire distress because of it, I went from 62.5 per dose 4 hours apart to 50mg 4 hours apart. I was profoundly grateful. And thought this was the right thing to do. I was functioning great, and
What a high functioning day! And what fun!

It was one of those days when I was focused, and did everything right. Made the right decisions, made the kids happy, made me happy.

And the culmination was nothing short of amazing,... made me love my husband again. That’s as good as it gets.

I did, however, feel the real need for alcohol creeping in. This is what scares me.

I woke just now with a profound panic attack, the likes of which had become a thing of the past.

I realize I never managed to send this post, due to internet problems.

PLEASE respond ASAP to this post. I need to know about who, if any, have experienced this. And what the ramifications were.

I NEED to know pretty much yesterday. Input please!

The rest of the story will come soon.

[tiptronic_ct]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hiya, Beatle :l

I can unfortunately not help with the panic attack. I last had one of those over two years ago and under different circumstances.

Can you take a small dose of Xanax, maybe?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

p.s. I took one xanax, it didn't help after 1/2 hour. Now i have already had two glasses of expensive special wine and now on a beer. Last beer left here. I had to do it. i don't want to be here -- never again. i drank up my husband'S collection of ancient, super expensive whisky in 2 weeks last time this happened. Advice please.

My husband will be SO disappointed. But I had to. HAD to.

Is this because of the drastic drop? Or something else? My niece is coming from America on Wednesday. I was thrilled when I thought of it. It will the experience of a lifetime for her. And I want desperately to be part of it. Even if have to sneak drink while she is here. I functioned without getting shitfaced for a year on LDB.

I can go back there, I hope. Anyway, I've decided that if I can manage, I will put off the indifference quest. I know I am not well, yet. But I also know I was functioning in the higher 200s. I was not over-driniking, not to blackouts or to complete loss of the abillity to focus. I cannot take this now. As long as I am not in danger, I want to go down as fast as I can... maybe to 280-300 by wed/Thursday. I will not do this if there is a danger to my health or if it will inevitably lead to a bender.

I functioned without getting shitfaced for a year on LDB. I can go back there, I hope. Anyway, I've decided that if I can manage, I will put off the indifference quest.

I know I am not well, yet. But I also know I was functioning in the higher 200s. I was not over-driniking, not to blackouts or to complete loss of the abillity to focus. I cannot take this now. As long as I am not in danger, I want to go down as fast as I can... maybe to 280-300 by wed/Thursday. I will not do this if there is a danger to my health or if it will inevitably lead to a bender.

[tiptronic_ct]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Beatle,

I think this is where p.r.n. doses can help you. If you feel you must, then taper safely, even if it means taking hourly doses. Think of it in the same light as an AL taper, I guess?

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

took m morning dose of 50mg.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Zenstyle;1138043 wrote: Yah... Tipps is right about the taper. Not sure about p.r.n. though as you are already on a high dose... maybe the others will chime in and they may know more.

I think if you just try and chill out you'll be fine. I reckon you've gotten anxious and if you can relax you're going to be back on track...

yeah, I'll try to go bac to bed/

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

When you're on such a high dose, I honestly don't think the variance matters much at all. I can take 100 mgs less or more on any given day and sometimes not even notice it. But then again, we are very different.

I said this to you when you first got you're prescription, I'll say it again: .25 mg of xanax is nothing when stacked up next to the severity of your anxiety disorder. Isn't your script written for 4x that in a day? When it hits you that bad take .75 mg. What is the worst that could happen? You might fall asleep. Is that worse than feeling like you're crawling out of you're own skin? Shit, that might not even be enough.

You won't take my advice when it comes to baclofen. You won't take my advice when it comes to xanax. I'm at a loss as to why I'm even typing this other than because I owe you my life and want nothing more than for you to feel the way I do now.

Order some fucking naltrexone.

[bleep]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Hi Beatle,

I think you'll be fine going straight to your chosen level immediately. As Lo0p points out, it's easy to swing by large numbers when you're on HDB, so if it will make you more comfortable, just do it now. Work out your new dosage schedule, and stick to it religiously.

Sorry to hear about the panic attacks. Why not just follow Lo0p's advice and see if it works?

Hang in there. You will be okay.

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

There isn't a fucking doctor on earth that could advise her as to her best course of action right now.

Come on, this is Beatle. She's going to do what she's going to do and she's asking for input. That is mine, harsh language and all. I wouldn't be speaking in such terms to someone who wasn't a friend.

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

I think you've completely misunderstood me.

Yes, she should titrate down IMO.

I think she should consider other avenues like naltrexone. It attacks the disease from a completely different angle.

I spoke with her months ago about taking a sufficient amount of xanax prn to control her anxiety symptoms when they arise. She told me she has a reason that she isn't doing that, but didn't explain why.

[Lo0p]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Ok Zen you've (we've) got it all backwards here, and as always, it's all my fault. But I can't even think or type clearly anymore (I couldn't when I started tonight).

See you all in the morning. :l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Beatle was fine, functioning, going about daily life, happy and energetic, optimistic, on 400mg of baclofen for what, beatle? More than a week? Two weeks?
Panic attacks and anxiety were mitigated, if not completely gone.

Then she took 475mg by accident. Panic attacks ensued. Since that day she has taken a different amount of baclofen each and every day. 475, to 375, to 300? Right beatle?

This is a chronic condition for you, beatle. One we have discussed repeatedly. Also, you have little recollection of your night time panic attacks. Also, you drink to curb the anxiety and it exacerbates it, later. You also drink when your body needs baclofen. Just prior to a dose, when you start to feel uncomfortable, you turn to alcohol, and not baclofen. At times, prior to your visit, you would skip a dose or take less, thinking it was the baclofen that caused the problem.

How do I know all of this, my MWO friends? Because she stayed with me for four days. We put a system into place that was not based on how she "feels" but was based on a schedule of how to take baclofen. For the first time ever, in the history of her baclofen experience. It took 24 hours to settle in, because we erroneously tried the "spike the brain with baclofen" model looking for indifference. She woke up the next morning and had a shot of vodka. It didn't work.

When she returned home she had the most productive, positive week(s) she's had in a long time (years?) (your words, beatle, not mine.) Still missing the occasional dose, but able to make up for it, she employed help in order to take it on time, and regularly. All was well, and then she overdosed by accident. The tailspin is the result.

I would politely suggest that suggestions and recommendations be based on the full picture, not the picture that happens in the middle of the night in the middle of a panic attack.

I share all this, beatle, in spite of the fact that it betrays your confidence, because I think that you will get A LOT of advice. I think that if you don't figure out a way to take a level amount of baclofen on a regular basis at regular intervals you are going to end up further in a tailspin. I think the baclofen, I KNOW the baclofen does not create the anxiety, or the panic attacks, erratic dosing/amount and alcohol does this. I know this because I've witnessed it, we've talked about it, and you agreed. This time is no exception.

Please, beatle, pick a dose. Take it on schedule. We also know that it takes a mere 24 hours for your body and brain to adjust. Just 24 hours of regular dosing on the same amount.

**The schedule also includes regular xanax doses, one in the morning and one at bedtime. .125 as needed throughout the day and night. You stopped taking the morning dose just prior to the overdose, beatle. I don't think that's a coincidence. Sorry you're tired in the afternoon. Take the xanax, as prescribed by the doctor. The alternative is that you are completely unable to sleep/function/manage anything.

[beatle]

Daily dosing record - beatle

Wow, thank you all for that advice. Coming from all kinds of different angles.

I'll tell you what I did.

I stopped looking frantically for more alcohol in the house, I realized I was at a place I never ever ever wanted to be again, and hadn't done for over a year. I stopped, and realized I was acting rationally, suddenly. I had stopped desperately looking for alcohol. So got together all the breakfast stuff for the kids, so my husband could do it alone if I wasn’t up to it. Very rational indeed. And went back to bed ala zen's suggestion. Thank you zen, that was indeed a quick and very timely reply and suggestion. I took it and it helped immensely.

Then we both overslept, and only woke up thanks to my foresight to set the alarm. How rational can you get?

When we woke up, I told my husband what had happened. He listened and did not get upset. He said: “I think you should continue at the new dose (300mg/day) and see what happens. You functioned great yesterday, maybe you will today. Maybe you are over it. Just keep to the new dose.”
And then he got to the task at hand – feeding 6 hungry mouths and getting them home on time.

Simple as that. Now I know why I do love men, after all. Even my husband :h

And then I read all these posts, and it calmed me down. No, I hadn’t taken too drastic a drop (thank you lo0p! -- and you are wrong about the xanax advice I did take your advice completely at that time, I just never managed to explain that, and what happened and why I tapered down. At the time, I did exactly what you said and I have never regretted it.)

Bleep weighed in with is advice, which reflected my husband’s reaction almost word for word (guys, I love you).

Meanwhile, Ne wrote me an email (hope she doesn’t mind that I quote one short paragraph here:

“Just pick any level, give it a week and you will be functioning fine without panic attacks in the middle of the night. I would not go up again drastically. Sit with 300mg would be my suggestion,” again supporting all the advice I got here and from my husband.

Tip also said the same.

These are people whose advice I value highly. I respect them, and despite impressions to the contrary, I almost always follow their advice, although perhaps in my own way.
Guess I just got out of hand, and I needed everyone to rein me in.
And all the advice I got calmed me down and led me to the logical conclusion.
And btw, just for the record, before and since that episode when I od’ed by 75 mg, I have religiously kept to my scheduled doses. I HAVE been consistent. My decision to make a fast titration down was not a random decision. I discussed w/husband and we agreed on a completely but consistent dose of 50mg/4 hours, and stuck to it. We thought it our well. The consistency never stopped except for that one night when I od’ed while he was away. And the result of the titration down was amazing. And worth it … until the panic attack.

Thank you all for your input.! Thanks most of all for BEING THERE!

Now off to help my husband make breakfast. Yay.