To All,
Here is my story in brief and other stuff will come to light as I post -
I may repeat things I have said in other threads so sorry if I am redundant.
I am 50 years old and amazed to still be here!
I began drinking at 17 and throughout college was known as "the party girl".
I was a weekend drinker until 1991 when my father died. Dad was a functioning alcoholic and a very good man. My world collapsed; my hero was gone. Drinking was the only anesthetic I knew to numb the pain. At this point it was mostly beer and Tequila.
In 2001 I discovered wine; wine became my new best friend.
My marriage of 18 years slowly began to crumble and he left in 2007. I want to blame him too but this is about me.
The divorce was tough and I began to drink full throttle and I mean FULL throttle.
The doctor saw me several times for falls, bruises, and injuries, all caused by my alcohol intake. To this day I think she assumed I was being abused and I guess I was; alcohol was taking it's toll.
I took some time off from work and went into a deep depression. I only got dressed when I threw on an old t-shirt and sweats to go to the store. Showers, cleaning, being there for my kids, I did nothing but drink. My son came home from college and immediately moved back home. He saved my life. I really had the intent of drinking myself to death. I had to deal with the sadness and depression and the only way I knew how to do this was to get mad. I got mad at the world. Everyone was fair game. Family and friends stopped calling or coming by because I was a mean ass drunk now; the party girl had left the stage.
Fast Forward to Fall 2010. I began lurking on here after finding this site after being prescribed Disulifram. It scared me to death but I had become desperate at finding sobriety. I joined in October and tried stopping cold turkey and made it 11 days. I became a "new" user in January 2011. My old screen name was unique and I use it elsewhere and was in jeopardy of anonymity.
I chose Baclofen after reading and reading and reading up on it.
I am not going to have my family watch me die from alcohol.
Today is my birthday and for the first time I see myself in the future, with a life, and growing old gracefully.
I have been sober since Valentines day. It is amazing. I will never go back, never.
I applaud everyone on this journey. Say hello to the world every morning.
It doesn't matter which way out you take, just find it and embrace it.
Good luck to all of us -
Lady
Here is my story in brief and other stuff will come to light as I post -
I may repeat things I have said in other threads so sorry if I am redundant.
I am 50 years old and amazed to still be here!
I began drinking at 17 and throughout college was known as "the party girl".
I was a weekend drinker until 1991 when my father died. Dad was a functioning alcoholic and a very good man. My world collapsed; my hero was gone. Drinking was the only anesthetic I knew to numb the pain. At this point it was mostly beer and Tequila.
In 2001 I discovered wine; wine became my new best friend.
My marriage of 18 years slowly began to crumble and he left in 2007. I want to blame him too but this is about me.
The divorce was tough and I began to drink full throttle and I mean FULL throttle.
The doctor saw me several times for falls, bruises, and injuries, all caused by my alcohol intake. To this day I think she assumed I was being abused and I guess I was; alcohol was taking it's toll.
I took some time off from work and went into a deep depression. I only got dressed when I threw on an old t-shirt and sweats to go to the store. Showers, cleaning, being there for my kids, I did nothing but drink. My son came home from college and immediately moved back home. He saved my life. I really had the intent of drinking myself to death. I had to deal with the sadness and depression and the only way I knew how to do this was to get mad. I got mad at the world. Everyone was fair game. Family and friends stopped calling or coming by because I was a mean ass drunk now; the party girl had left the stage.
Fast Forward to Fall 2010. I began lurking on here after finding this site after being prescribed Disulifram. It scared me to death but I had become desperate at finding sobriety. I joined in October and tried stopping cold turkey and made it 11 days. I became a "new" user in January 2011. My old screen name was unique and I use it elsewhere and was in jeopardy of anonymity.
I chose Baclofen after reading and reading and reading up on it.
I am not going to have my family watch me die from alcohol.
Today is my birthday and for the first time I see myself in the future, with a life, and growing old gracefully.
I have been sober since Valentines day. It is amazing. I will never go back, never.
I applaud everyone on this journey. Say hello to the world every morning.
It doesn't matter which way out you take, just find it and embrace it.
Good luck to all of us -
Lady
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