My Bac Journey started today

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

Got it lads. Was in mad bastard crazy aftermath mode yesterday....calmer today and advice taken. Thanks for putting this nutbar right..again
Have a good day
C

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

LONG WINDED RANT ALERT, only read if got an inordinate amount of time on your hands and NOTHING else to do!!!!!(all this essentially is is a very long winded way of saying:- AF or keep drinking while on BAC? )

Been reading alot of posts and I just really need to get this off my chest.......

So yep, The Q on my mind is - should i be making more of an effort to stay AF? At the mo, I am still 'trying to drink' and I although I know its early days, I am wondering whether I shouldn't be making more of an effort not to.........or weirdly enough, is it in fact better TO keep drinking and wait for the magic moment, even tho there may well be SHIT along the way? Is this too lazy? Do I need to do far more?!
Today I will be AF. Tomoro I will be AF. Come Tuesday, I have an evening with a girl planned who I really like. Of course I am going to want to drink, nothing excessive neccessarily. For so many reasons - it's more relaxing, more fun, I like her and I don't want to explain myself (not now anyway) etc etc. Also, in said situation, I am confident I can keep it real. The worry to me is what that means for the rest of the week as historical evidence wd suggest that by Wednesday I will drink that much more(when I have a hangover, unless its a really mild one, my tendency is to want to drink again the next night just to avoid having to go home alone, having to sit with it, the loneliness, the weirdness etc etc) Thursday even more and any one of those nights can turn into a soul destroying bender before I know it. One drink opens the addiction pathways and all that....unless of course they are closed by then!?!? gotta test it right?!? Bonkers.

Here is the conclusion I am coming to:- My real and honest concern here is that I am not even sure I can commit to NOT drinking. Come Tuesday the urge is BOUND to get the better of me. I'm afraid I just have to accept that about myself.
So.... I think I just keep ploughing on, accepting there may well be more BUMPS and ROCKS in the road BUT live in the knowledge/hope that one day they WILL NATURALLY stop. Do my BEST to set limits for the night. I know this does not by any means safeguard as the night come along, the music, there's girls, there's friends, laughter, there's booze...there's booze.....there's booze.....you know the score.

OR SHOULD I get far more serious. Lock myself away. Raid the toolbox. Avoid triggers like the plague. Avoid dates with girls. Keep taking pills. Go to Church...Whatever it takes to break the back of it.

WHat is the best way to break the back of it?!?

I KNOW that at some point I will try and drink again. I know this because my goal, despite the hell my drinking currently causes, is to be able to be a 'normal drinker'. The alcoholics obsession. This may go away, I know it has for others- but RIGHt NOW that remains my goal. That is my reality. The thought of long term AF freaks the shit out of me.(perfect evidence of course that I have not hit switch/indifference)

SO, How will I know if I am ready to try this first drink if i commit to trying my best AF while I am dosing up?! For this reason, I am telling myself its better to just push through. Keep drinking. Trust the process. Deal with the shit. Just get there through hell and high water and then look back on long winded tedious posts like this and think 'Thank FUCK i don't need to think about or bore people with that anymore'

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!



Charlie

[Augman]

My Bac Journey started today

thats my problem too. I am at 150mg now and am still drinking (although anout 1/3 less). Do I really want to quit?? I tried this last year and failed. I am at it again, I intend to get it right this time.

[bleep]

My Bac Journey started today

First off Charlie - calm down, breathe, all that shit...

You'll get many different answers to this depending on who replies. Bear in mind this is just my opinion, and not necessarily right. In fact those who know me know I am more often wrong than right! For myself, I would go with the flow. Unless you have a specific reason to want to avoid a bender (other than the obvious ones, of course!), then take what comes.

I think you might find that a bender is not as simple as you think it will be, even now. Simply putting as much thought as you already have into the process will go a long way toward helping you out when the time comes.

You are currently doing the best thing that I know to break the back of this thing.

One thing you can try, I've never done it, but OA speaks of it in his book, is a p.r.n dose. On Wednesday, at lunch, take a bit more than you normally would. This will kick in at 5ish, and will help to resist any cravings that may arise at witching hour.

Personally, I drank more than normal in the first couple of weeks. My thought process followed the lines of yay, I'm about to beat this, I can let it have free rein, because it's now just a question of time. Got me into a couple of pickles, so try and avoid that particular line of reasoning. As I said earlier, I'm not renowned for my wisdom!

And now, having said all this, there's the obvious disclaimer - baclofen is easier to take if you don't drink, so that's first prize. I wouldn't stress going for first prize right away though. The real prize will be awarded no matter which approach you adopt.

Good luck man, this will seem such a non-dilemma in a while, you'll read this later and wonder who wrote it.

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

1/3

Well, I am hitting 90 tmw and hope to be at 150 by end of next week...seems from reading that quite a few people start cutting down alot around that mark,.....if i was down 2/3 by then I wd be happy as larry.....
just gonna keep plodding along. I don't wanna quit either, just wanna be able to go out and socialise and not drink like its going out of fashion, enjoy a few or not touch a drop as the case may be. I am gonna get there too, get it right as you say.
Best of luck
C

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

hey bleep

just got your message after i wrote my last post

Yep - I am sure I will get a few replies with different viewpoints but the reality is, I gotta accept that this cat is gonna go with the flow and wait for the magic to come. I know its just a case of patience and I also know that I am just babbling cos I am feeling like shit. Deep Breaths indeed...patience boy, patience. I like your idea about the extra dose. I remember now reading that before and will implement that this week.

Thanks for your replies mate, always helpful.

[Seethepony]

My Bac Journey started today

Hi Charlie, how are your hangovers?
I only ask because I was drinking as usual when I started baclofen. I jumped to 50mg from 20 by mistake and the hangover I suffered the next day was one I will never forget. I have never, in 20 odd years of abusing this beautiful body of mine, experienced such a head-fuck. I really felt like every atom in my brain had done a Hiroshima.
This hangover knocked me out so thoroughly that I stayed off the beer for two consecutive nights - while continuing to take baclofen - and voila! A miracle happened. I congratulated myself on having shaken off the mother of all hangovers and was about to have a celebratory beer when I realised I didn't want it. I reached the "switch" miles before expecting to do so, and that was the start of a record 3 weeks with no alcohol. And that's something I haven't done since my o levels, like a million years ago...

So I would suggest you carry on as usual - if you're gonna drink, you're gonna drink . Sooner or later, the baclofen will kick in and whether you want to or not, you'll hit the switch.

And as for this stuff about not seeing that chick - come on! Don't be a knob!

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

haha

haha F*ckin priceless! Nice one Pony
Yeah, you and Bleep are spot on.
Re hangovers - I have been moving up pretty steady so far and have noticed no bad SE's or any worse hangover. Hope my stash isn't fake lol !
In fact, aftter Tuesday night - which was a boozy one until 5am - my hangover the next day was surprisingly miild. Not mild enough though to just go home Weds eve and chill...nah, I was still in the zone and wanted to get back on it....but physically during the day I felt alot less shit than i normally would and wasn't nearly as jittery. Anywas, thurs and Friday and Saturday not so good but there was drugs involved(they GOTTA go) and bigger nights.
Anyways, AF day today. 8 x 10 mg for second day in row. Heading to 90 tomoro where I will stay for a day, maybe two.
Glad to hear you are doing SO Well. Rock on. Outta intrest, after your 30 days Af, how did you get on when you re-introduced the sauce?

[Seethepony]

My Bac Journey started today

"Outta intrest, after your 30 days Af, how did you get on when you re-introduced the sauce?"

Hard to explain. I had a non-stop feeling of irritability. Don't know if it was baclofen or sobriety that was getting on my nerves, but I really felt I needed to give myself a bang on the side of the head, as if something wasn't hooked up properly. So I drank - not very much but enough to be drunk - and oddly enough it did the trick. I didn't then resume nightly drinking or anything like that. I was then able to do two week periods without a drink, and without any hassle. Around this time my mother died and was buried - perfect excuse for a piss up, you'd think, but I got through all that sober. Now I drink every couple of weeks and to be honest, I don't know why. I don't enjoy it and my body is less and less forgiving. If I had an ounce of willpower I could cruise along totally AF. As it is, a drink every ten days or so is a helluva lot better than getting hammered 9 days out of ten, but I would like to cut down even more, so I am contemplating increasing my daily intake of baclofen. (I am very fortunate to have hit the switch at a measly 75 mg. My daily dosage is 50 mg. Probably should be fractionally higher.)

Christ, drinking till 5 am... I don't think I can handle that crap anymore!

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

good for u

Good for u - thats awesome progress
Trust me, I'd rather not be doing it either....its a strange cos I don't really wanna do it but kinda can't help it and kinda enjoy it at the same time...mmm. Anyway, I am working on that!
cheers
c

[beatle]

My Bac Journey started today

bumped a thread about drinking while on baclofen.

Birdy's blog is also amazing.

[LadyLush]

My Bac Journey started today

Pony,

You got my grin again....LOL man you are funny :H:H:H:H:H
Man the drinking kills me on the Bac as well..Have not read it all...laughing too hard...





Lady

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

Beatle - Thanks v much for bumping that - thats excellent thread plus this one
How High Dose Baclofen Cured My Alcoholism
Cheers !

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

Day 12 9 x 10 mg spread throughout day = 90 mg
AF day. Had dodgy stomach all day but don;t think that was BAC related, just body a bit battered after a few heavy ones last week
bit Drowsy but generally nothing too bad SE wise. F*Ck me I slept deeply last night. Dreams are bonkers...but I dig them.
Cool, cheers
Night

[Charlieboy]

My Bac Journey started today

First Se's....

Last night...went to bed after my 9th 10mg pill.....
Weird - had that kinda drug buzz spreading over my face, forcing my eyes shut like i was on acid on E or something...
Plus, was so tired but couldn't actuallly fall asleep for ages...so would kinda be asleep but not be asleep, really weird....had to keep saying mmmmmm to myself to keep my breath!
Slept so deeply when I did fall asleep that have woken up with a neck as stiff as a post, can't bascially move my head !
nice one! all a god sign that things are happening up in that brain of mine
Today - will be doing 9x10 mg again
Cheers