Moms on bac

[konakt]

Moms on bac

Sassy Lassy--

I am so sorry to hear about your son's classmate's suicide. What a tragedy. That is so sad that at 12, he thought he had no other options---and the fallout at your son's school must be overwhelming.

When my son was 12 in Catholic school, he kept coming home and telling me one of his classmates kept saying he was going to kill himself and take a bunch of the class with him! And he was very explicit about how he was going to do it...I just couldn't sit on that---(it was around the time of Columbine) so I anonymously called the school counselor to give her a heads up...I just couldn't be the one to tell the mom, even though she was one of my closest friends at the time; I didn't want to be the "messenger" because I wasn't sure she would take it seriously from me. Needless to say, all hell broke loose and the school intervened---but somehow my friend figured out I was the "squealer" and never spoke to me again. And her son is fine, in college and moving ahead. And for years and years, I was feeling like I had over-reacted by reporting it, and that I could have handled it differently. I was very afraid and ashamed at the same time. I still miss that friendship...(did I mention that she was an alcoholic, and at the time I pointed that out to the school?) OMG---never-ending guilt now that I am in the same boat!

My heart goes out to you and everyone affected by something that cannot be undone or taken back..... KT

[LadyLush]

Moms on bac

KT,

Sorry just starting to read..NO REGRETS I would have done the exact same thing. 99 out of 100 might be false but look at Columbine....she was WORTH losing as a friend. Do not look back at that!

It involved your children...the extension of our own life that were meant to carry on and on your own...

I will read everything else, so I am sorry if I have not responded and missed some important posts...I just read the last post by KT.

We are all in this together!:hug:
Lady!

[bkyogagurl]

Moms on bac

OMG.... Sassy.... do they know anything behind it??????

I pulled my kid outta school cause I was afraid of just that..... I am ready to barf.

poor parents.

[Guest]

Moms on bac

redhead77;1072700 wrote: Boy am I frusterated. I just typed a response and lost it again. This has been happening a lot the last couple of days. I think it's bac brain.

NT,
I think we have a bit in common. I have children that are very close in age to yours. I also am a working Mom. It is hard to juggle the demands of three kids and work. I know about the issues with being present. We too have chaotic mornings when Mom is hungover. I also feel a lot of guilt when I get home from work and the children want to spend a few quality minutes with me and I'm running for a glass of wine. Talk about not being present.

BKY,

Is that an okay way to abbreviate your name? I want to say don't feel guilty about not posting. We all have enough guilt with what society says we should be and then on top of it, abusing alcohol? I think no one should feel guilt about posting. We love having you here. I wanted to know if people have been successful on Topa? Since the book was written about it, I figured yes, but I do wonder.

KT,

I too have leg cramps. I also have joint pain. I read somewhere that baclofen blocks magnesium. I wonder if that is why. I will ask about it. In that case, supplements may be in order. Also, I have blood shot, puffy eyes, severe forgetfulness, and major lethargy. It is hard to get household chores done, and remembering things for my kids, is next to impossible. I have to write everything down. Sometimes I forget to write things down too.

Other interesting things. I find everything funny. I have no idea why, but I'm having my own private humor party. I love the sound of music. I've always liked music, but this has become a spiritual experience. Tonight I am drinking a cup of coffee and it is now 5pm. I am not drinking it because I'm forcing myself away from wine. I'm drinking it because I actually have no interest in drinking alcohol at the moment. I mean, I am going to start dinner now and I think in my head I should drink because I usually do, yet I have zero physical desire. What's up with that?

Redhead

I had the puffy eyes too, almost felt like I had an allergy or very bad cold. I found this eased when I managed to have some AF days, and is one thing that puts me off drinking on the Bac since my eyes would stream if I got near anyone wearing perfume, cats that sort of thing and was causing me problems as a result especially since my counsellor has a cat. By the way I'm not allergic to cats have grown up with 3 of them and have not had this problem before.

[TracyA]

Moms on bac

I'm sorry to be so far behind (mostly sorry for myself). I'll catch up. I know there are too many threads for people to follow, so I wanted to ask here too. If you have not already done so, please take part in Tip's poll regarding getting stickies (posts that always stay parked at the top of the forum). We'd like to get a couple for the baclofen side and couple for the Topa folks since their threads often get lost in the traffic. It would be very helpful for newcomers since the first posts they would see would answer all the basic questions. The posts could answer the most common questions newcomer's ask, and would save a lot bumping old threads and repeating information.

Right now, where just trying to get admin's attention and get them to say "yes" that they'd add the stickies. Here's the poll:

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...ies-48605.html

Thanks very much!

[konakt]

Moms on bac

Morning moms---

Feeling frustrated today...no glimpse of non craving...yesterday felt like I was waiting for the minute daughter and father went to swim practice so that I could blast my bottle + of wine. Plus, had a few choice words for my daughter last night that upset her.....Woke up this morning with resolve (again)....Feels like I'm taking a pill every hour that I'm awake. Not much side effects, but no reduction in drinking. Anybody feeling the magic yet? KT

[SassyLassy]

Moms on bac

So sorry, KT, that you're not feeling a reduction in cravings...me either. I'm at 90mg/day, and move up to 110 tomorrow. No reduction in the desire to drink. (Craving? Habit? Desire? Does bac take away all of these?) What dose are you at?

I have probably been drinking slightly less than before, still 1+ bottles/night though. That's because the bac amplifies the alcohol's effects, and I don't want to barf again! So I've slowed just a bit and watch how my body's feeling so as not to go too far.

I hear you on the "triggers" of wanting everyone to disappear to their spots after dinner so I can get my extra somethin-somethin. My older son generally cleans up the kitchen after dinner, and I often have to stroll in, trying to act non-chalant, and get my mug that I've had on the counter and used for wine while cooking. Then I go upstairs, to my walk in closet, where I have my supply. HOW nobody seems to notice is beyond me...my husband's office is also upstairs, and while he's busy, he must notice that I come up the stairs a couple of times after dinner. Sometimes, I stop in and chat with him for a minute or two, like I came up to see him. Or I bring a load of laundry down so that looks like the "reason" I was upstairs. Oh, the lengths we go to to hide!! I worry about carrying the wine and the laundry down my stairs that are covered in white carpet----did I say, red wine is my poison???
Feeling fat, up a pound today from an already all-time high. Life's just going to get harder in the weight area as I approach menopause. ARGH!

Others? How is your drinking/craving doing and at what dose?

[bkyogagurl]

Moms on bac

I'm sorry to hear that you are frustrated today KT.. the ups and downs. I wish I was on the Bac so I could be of more help. I'm on Topamax and am dosing up really slowly so my friggin hair won't fall out. So I won't feel the effects nearly as quick. poop. Hang in there. Keep trying. Keep posting.

To make you feel better I totally folded after a whole "3" days AF.. woo woo... had my bottle and a half and I can hardly wait to finish the open bottle this evening.

What a good cheerleader I am....

[bkyogagurl]

Moms on bac

Sassy you are funny... I do the same thing... I fold laundry and try to stay busy like I'm "productive" while I'm drinking my wine... I'm red too. LOL...

I'm not on Bac but I like all you ladies here so much and KT lets me hang around so here I am.

[konakt]

Moms on bac

Sassy--

You stopped me at your "son generally cleans up the kitchen after dinner!" Is this the same son who brought you the sick bowl?? You are training him to be the best future boyfriend/husband! You must be doing something (many things?) right to have such a great kid.....

I think I'm at about 90. Great scientific approach, right? I just take a pill every hour when I'm awake. Why am I suddenly feeling skeptical that this will work? Sorry, but true...I shall now go re-read posts from experienced bac-ers to remind myself.

I don't find that it amplifies AL effects, nor decreases them...guess only going up will tell. So, you're saying that you think it was the combination of 2 bottles wine + bac that made you ill that night?

I'm a white wine gal, myself...I used to never buy a less-than-$20 bottle of chardonnay. Now I'm down to cheap screw tops. Haven't gone to boxed, though, as I'd hate to have that be something my daughter remembers in the frig...

It's probably been done before, but we should do a thread on most creative places/ways we've hidden our liquid libation...coffee cups, of course. Tinted sports bottles, a must at sports events...green tea is same color as white wine, but it's a dead giveaway when fruit flies gather round it...also dead giveaway when cats who drink out of every other cup in the house turn their noses up at mine....oh, and another dead give away---underwear drawer where cork population outnumbers actual undies...but I digress.

[SassyLassy]

Moms on bac

Hiding spots

You crack me up, KT!! I had actually thought about this earlier, that I thought it would be cool/interesting to hear where others hide their stash. Then I felt shame, cause I thought, what, are you looking for IDEAS?? Don't remember where I read it, maybe the memoir Lit, but some lady used to hide her vodka bottle in a frozen turkey or chicken in the freezer...that's ingenuity.

ALas, I am on the boxed wine...it keeps without refrig, lasts and doesn't get gross, and I don't have to buy a bottle every day!! Plus, the cardboard is easier to get rid of than a glass bottle that clinks. However, harder to measure what you've consumed on a day by day basis.

Have I mentioned we don't have garbage service at our house? We're not in the sticks or anything, right in the middle of town. But hubbie owns several rental properties, and pays the local waste management company ENOUGH already (according to him). He'd rather haul our trash to his liquor store or rental dumpsters than pay another monthly fee. I get it, but it makes it that much harder, if you know what I mean.

Lastly, it is Ash Wednesday. Went to church after work with the family, and the message was all about letting this time (lent, between now and Easter) be an opportunity to challenge yourself, step back from the day-to-day habits and try to see what habits in your life aren't, well, productive/holy, etc. Gosh, what came to mind??? When we got home, hubbie said he had to go to our back shed to check to see how an employee left it-it snowed here today, and there was plwing/shoveling to be done at the rentals. Anyway, I took that statement as a trigger - "I now have time to go upstairs and answer what's calling me". Then I made dinner. Hubbie left again, checking on another business (the liquor store)... so I've been upstairs again. If only he stayed around...

[SassyLassy]

Moms on bac

bumping this back to the top!

[libmit]

Moms on bac

Sassy, how old is your son who cleans the kitchen? I'm trying to get my 13 year old to do the dishes. It's a struggle - sometimes I think she puts things away in the wrong places just to irritate me and try to get me to tell her to forget it. It's her chore if she wants to keep her cell phone. And no trash service would really be difficult. We recycle glass (we have these nice bins with no lids), and we have to take the bin of bottles over to the liquor store to the glass dumpster. The bin fills up really quickly, so then we resort to bags of bottles. The last time we went, we had to make three trips to the liquor store because we couldn't even fit all the bottles in the car. The bin sits outside our back door. I was embarrassed at the site at our back door with overflowing bins, overflowing bags and bottles all over the place. Then there's the regular recycling, which is always overflowing with beer cans. Guess the recycle truck people can tell who the drunks are!

My favorite hiding place is a can of diet coke. I drink Captain Morgan and diet coke (along with wine and beer) I pour out a bit of the diet coke, then pour the Captain right into the coke can. Most people think this is disgusting as they like ice in drinks. I'm so pathetic I've even been known to drink a warm drink this way.

KT, sorry you're not feeling any reduction in craving. I'm not really either. I'm at 80.

I think I agree with posts I've read that the se's are worse when drinking. Don't always get the hangover, but when I do it's a doozy. Feel like absolute crap today. And I'm so tired I actually slept through hammering (we're having some tile removed in the bathroom).

I don't hide bottles, but I do collect corks. I've made one of those cork wreaths and I have enough corks to make several more - and they take a lot of corks. I've also made cork trivets. Any other creative ideas for corks?

Have to drive my young daughter to a birthday party 30 minutes away - hope I don't fall asleep at the wheel!

Libby

[SassyLassy]

Moms on bac

My (step) son that cleans the kitchen turns 17 today. He's always been a good kid, and wants very badly to please his dad. You see, his mom died when he was 6, so he and his dad were alone for about 4 years until he met me. So the son learned how to do chores around the house because, well, he had to. I can't say he loves it, but he knows he'll hear it from his dad if he doesn't do it "right", and he'll hear it from me, too, but he just rolls his eyes at me.

My son, who's 12, is much less perfectionistic-he unloads the dishwasher most mornings without being reminded, but when the older son is at work or gone, he's not so good at cleaning up. Not sure if I'll ever train him as well as the older boy.

Time to go home...guess what's calling to me???

[LadyLush]

Moms on bac

KT, all,

Where is everyone? Are we all okay out there? Let's get started today!! I am worried about everyone and we can not let this thread die!


Let's go! :clapping2:


Happy Monday!

Lady