Moms on bac

[redhead77]

Moms on bac

Hi Moms,

I agree, I don't want to see this thread going anywhere. I'm sorry about a few things. I haven't been active on here. I've been thinking about this thread a lot and why I avoided it.

I think this thread makes me confront what I hate the most about my drinking. The very real FACT that it will destroy my kids. Even worse, I have to think about the damage I've already caused. It creates such self loathing. Before, when I was not titrating up aggressively, and the end seemed so far off, I just couldn't stand it. And I couldn't stand looking at myself in this way. My kids, the love I have for them which is not even measurable, should be enough to save me. Instead, I have to turn to a medication. What does that say about me, or my love for them? So, I said it. Everything, I'm just seeing and understanding now.

Kona, you have put a great deal of time and love in this thread. I think you may be exhausted, and I have not been a team player. Please consider coming back. I want to hear how your bac journey is going. How your tropical paradise is. How your daughter is. And I'm very sorry I didn't return your last pm to me. I really appreciate you sharing with me. It is YOU my friend who keep it real.

[LadyLush]

Moms on bac

ALL,

We can talk about life here as Red says. Where is everyone?

Well, I am back down to 120 to 150 mg because the side effects were causing havoc in my life. I still feel I am on the right road to total recovery from an addiction that took full control. I need to stay at one level for awhile. I miss all of you and our daily trials. Where are y'all?


Lady

[SassyLassy]

Moms on bac

My 12 year old's hair is SO LONG...not long, like Long Hair, but long for a boy. I used my thinning shears to cut some of the bulk out, but didn't want the responsibility of actually cutting his hair...he's so into how he looks right now, plus, I'd had a mug of wine. We went outside, and I cut and cut on his hair, with the thinning shears, and while a TON of hair came off, you can't tell...the boy has a ton of healthy hair..Cut half of it off with thinning shears, but still, his hair is too long. To Sports Clips in the next few days

[redhead77]

Moms on bac

I'm laughing my ass off sassy. Glad you're keeping it alive, girl!

[spacebebe01]

Moms on bac

I decided not to bother going down the bac route right now because of its cost and the worry about being able to get it. I totally identify with the feelings you have about your children, I have three they are 24, 22 and 11. Today I am 2 weeks AF and am going to SMART group meetings, seeing my doctor and taking antidepressants and vitamins. I know tho if I drink again I will definately have to look seriously into bac and how to get it.

[redhead77]

Moms on bac

Hi Spacey Girl,

LOL (jk), btw. We are delighted to welcome you here. Vitamins and AD's work, but I'm glad you'll consider bac if need be. If it doesn't happen, we are happy to guide you. Congrats on your 2 weeks alcohol free. That's quite a while. You must be doing something right. Are you from the general threads, or did you just jump in to our meds threads? Not that it matters, I for one, am thrilled to have you here.

[redhead77]

Moms on bac

Hello!

I wanted to write a little today about bac and the impact it's having on both my drinking and mothering. I had an interesting experience yesterday. Around 9 pm my neighbor texted me to ask if I wanted to have a drink and catch up. I have been avoiding her a lot lately, because by the time she gets her children to bed, and wants to hang out, I'm half in the bag. You know how it is for many of us by 9 pm. I, however, was not half in the bag. I was completely sober last night. I didn't much feel like having company or a drink for that matter, but I decided to have her over anyway. It felt good to have her see me sober.


Here's where the interesting stuff happened. I had 2 glasses of wine in 2.5 hours. I sipped it, okay choked it down may be more accurate. She actually said at one point that she must be chugging her beers. I guess she was basing this on how quickly she was drinking compared to me. And she is not an alcoholic, btw. I don't think she was chugging, I was just really nursing them. It was effortless. Never have we gotten together before for drinks, when I didn't drink faster than she did, to the point of embarrassment at times.

I have had a lot of work to do with my kids. Now that I'm having so many AF nights, and even when I drink, it is rare that I'm getting drunk like I used to. They are used to me not being consistant. I will tell them something when I'm not drinking and then they can press me when I am, and get their way. Lots of boundary setting going on here. But you know what? My patience has increased 10 fold. I also am finding my children to be awe inspiring and amazing. I sometimes cry with the amazement that I created these beautiful human beings. There is a whole lot more laughter in this house, too.

I attribute this to the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is the love and bonding hormone (in case you didn't know that). Baclofen increases it. I'm not sure how much, and we know that women have higher levels of oxytocin, anyway. Especially mothers. It helps us nurture and protect our offspring. Men have it to a degree as well, especially after orgasm, but never to the levels we do. Our brains like to be bathed in it.

Rough day around here. The ex came over to pack up his stuff in my basement. He's been using my basement as a storage facility. He will be shipping out soon and is finally getting his crap out. I had to work with him down there for a number of hours. I feel emotionally drained. He is a large drinking trigger for me. But you know what again? I haven't poured a glass of wine to deal with it.

Off to take my kids to the park. It is a beautiful spring day here.

Peace,

Redhead

[bleep]

Moms on bac

Beautiful, red.

[hopefulspirit]

Moms on bac

Red,
I loved your update... what dose are you on?
I have not posted in a while because I am traveling with my family. I am doing well despite the challenges of this particular trip.
My son has been very ill. He's missed weeks of school and we're hopeful that he's finally on the mend. Up until recently, it was me an him 24/7 and no, I did not drink at all. That was effortless. On vacation, I have had a few but have not overindulged at all. I actually may have hit a subtle switch but time will really tell.
The ongoing real problem for me is my husband. Our relationship has been over for a very long time but I guess we're holding it together for the kids and financial situation. My son adores him but I think my 13 year old wishes that I'd leave.
They've heard too many arguments that's occurred under the influence. I'm glad that that chapter is over but it's still difficult to go on like this. He's a drinker but not the happy kind... he gets mean and gross when he's had too many. What used to be a fun hobby for us, has turned into one of the main reasons we will not be together forever.
Anyway, much going on but I'm here to tell you that I've once again embraced bac as my tool... it works but you have to remember to take the damn pills!
Best wishes everyone,
Jen

[applekat26]

Moms on bac

That is me too! I look like the typical suburban housewife/soccer mom, but I have this terrible secret! I too drink 1 to 1/1/2 bottles of wine starting when daughters (15 and 9) get home from school. I just ordered and received baclofen through River Pharmacy b/c I couldn't find a Dr. to prescribe it. I am taking 20 mg. per day right now and haven't noticed any difference. It is really expensive to order online so I am afraid I won't be able to afford to take a dosage that will help!

[redhead77]

Moms on bac

Hi Ladies,

I have a hella lot to do today, so I can't be here long right now. I have stuff to say but it will be later this evening. Quick question. Apple, what country do you live in? If you live in America, do you have health insurance? If you have both of those maybe there's another way. Be back later bac ladies. :l

[applekat26]

Moms on bac

I live in the U.S. and have health insurance. i just can't find a dr. to prescribe it! Also, can you or someone pls. tell me what dosage I should be taking? Thank you so much!:thanks:

[Road to Recovery]

Moms on bac

Apple,
A good rule of thumb would be 5mg x 3 times a day for the first 3 days...

[redhead77]

Moms on bac

I'll pm you a MD who prescribes, apple. You can call him on the phone and tell him your situation and get a script. That way your insurance can pay for it, and there is some question regarding counterfeit drugs and all sorts of stuff. I think John R has started a thread on it. No time at the moment to watch the 60min clip. The Dr will advise his tit schedule and lot's do that. Or, read through the threads, some people are going up a little faster. It doesn't hurt to take it slow at first and see how you react. Thanks Road for that. I think she's already on 20mg, and not feeling anything. I don't know that she should go down, if that's the case. But, you can discuss that with the doc. Good luck, let me know if the script works out. Don't be scared to call. He gets numerous calls everyday for this.

HS, may I ask what's wrong with your son? I know about bad what it feels like to be bad marriage surrounded by drinking. I too had my son beg me to leave him. He was the abusive sort, verbally and otherwise, especially when drinking. That is ALOT to deal with, when trying to get sober.

Okay, really I have to get back to work (scrubbing the house today). I've promised myself I will spring clean, no matter what!

[LadyLush]

Moms on bac

Hi all!

A little late tonight; work is killing me. So glad to see new people and to keep this thread going. Red I went bac to 120 to handle the side effects and I am doing so much better.
The appreciaton of my kids is such a wonderful side; I lost that somewhere along the way (of drinking, not Bac). Glad you all are here... this is a wonderful journey toward sobriety and freedom; no matter which way we take!

Thanks to all of you!

Lady


Lady