Hi Moms,
I agree, I don't want to see this thread going anywhere. I'm sorry about a few things. I haven't been active on here. I've been thinking about this thread a lot and why I avoided it.
I think this thread makes me confront what I hate the most about my drinking. The very real FACT that it will destroy my kids. Even worse, I have to think about the damage I've already caused. It creates such self loathing. Before, when I was not titrating up aggressively, and the end seemed so far off, I just couldn't stand it. And I couldn't stand looking at myself in this way. My kids, the love I have for them which is not even measurable, should be enough to save me. Instead, I have to turn to a medication. What does that say about me, or my love for them? So, I said it. Everything, I'm just seeing and understanding now.
Kona, you have put a great deal of time and love in this thread. I think you may be exhausted, and I have not been a team player. Please consider coming back. I want to hear how your bac journey is going. How your tropical paradise is. How your daughter is. And I'm very sorry I didn't return your last pm to me. I really appreciate you sharing with me. It is YOU my friend who keep it real.
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