The issue about changing important, or major things within the first year of sobriety was discussed in several of my local meetings. It was concluded that it can be good advice, but generally common sense has to be used. In some situations things need to be changed immediately, to not do so would be very harmful. In others changes are required in order to acheive sobriety in the first place. For myself I had an idea I should avoid relationships since they can put pressure on myself, and contribute to my drinking. So when I got sober last year I decided to avoid relationships full stop, for the sake of maintaining my sobriety. Then I met someone who was very keen on me. I was very wary since staying sober was the most important thing in my life. He reassured me that he would only ever love and care for me, that everything would be ok, he'd never hurt me. He also was a person who couldn't grasp why being in a loving relationship would ever cause any detrimental effects. So I went ahead. The same old head games started with me, and then he brought into play a complication from his side. With my head running away I was unable to recognise how this 3rd element was going to affect me, couldn't stand up for myself on the matter and lo and behold I was going into a very dark place. Combine this with a house move, as well as strong cravings and it was a recipe for relapse.
I know I can't get into another relationship until I've learned more about myself, and am able to assert myself within a relationship properly. Something I've never been able to do, and has been my downfall leading me into all sorts of trouble and danger.
To me it's all about being aware of the risks, pitfalls and benefits of any situation as well as seeing things for what they are. The person who brought discussion of this topic to the fore was long-term sober to the tune of over 10 years, very experienced in the fellowship but often questioned rules like this one. It sounds as if there are some sticklers out there and it's a pity more aren't as questioning as that person.
I also had someone else, not a follower of AA tell me to give up my job, stay at home, give up relationships and anything else external. That was how he got sober. So it's not just confined to AA at all.
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