Could use some help here, having a date

[Lowcountryman]

Hi all,

I could use some input here I know I'm pretty good at taking the damn pills, so that's not why I start this thread.

We've been talking here about being an alkie no longer etc. etc. and then go on with nice things, fall in love, get hobbies.

Well, it happened that I had to perform in a pub tonight and a nice girl left me her number on a small piece of paper and asked me to come over her place and play the guitar. I texted her. So now, a few hours later, we're 'texting'. She invited me to come over in a few days, tuesday (I'll let you know when she's fooling around and I'll blame it on the women here).

So, there it is. How the fck am I going to handle something like that? Tell her I'm a former alkie, I take Baclofen which weakens the muscles, took it like aspirines, and now I'm cured? What kind of story is that?? Ladies, what would you think? I know what I'd think.

And I Neva Eva have kissed a girl for the first time sober!!

...(peep-peep).....(well, the date is final, and she asked me what I am ordering since she's a waitress).....

I know honesty lasts longer, but...one wine? Could I be like Bleep for example? I should, since indifference means indifference. During the journey I tested myself, after that I did not.

So.....

Low

[TracyA]

Could use some help here, having a date

Lowcountryman;1075962 wrote: Hi all,

Well, it happened that I had to perform in a pub tonight and a nice girl left me her number on a small piece of paper and asked me to come over her place and play the guitar. I texted her. So now, a few hours later, we're 'texting'. She invited me to come over in a few days, tuesday (I'll let you know when she's fooling around and I'll blame it on the women here).

So, there it is. How the fck am I going to handle something like that? Tell her I'm a former alkie, I take Baclofen which weakens the muscles, took it like aspirines, and now I'm cured? What kind of story is that?? Ladies, what would you think? I know what I'd think.

Wow, how exciting! You don't have to disclose anything if you don't want to. Just say that you are on a medication that does not degree with alcohol, but that you would be happy to have her enjoy some wine. If she asks what the med is, say it is a muscle relaxant for a muscle spasm that's been bugging you. I doubt she'd push beyond that point.

I'm thrilled for you! From what I've seen today, just pass on the wine. You are such a cool guy sober, you don't need it for that!

[JohnR]

Could use some help here, having a date

I have had the same concern and what you said Tracy is perfect!

:thanks:

[Lowcountryman]

Could use some help here, having a date

Thx Tracy!

Keep it to a muscle spasm that is bugging me? If she is like me, she'd run like hell

But I'll keep in mind a med-excuse. Though I don't want her to think I'm sick, while I (or the Bac) cured myself!

Low

[Lowcountryman]

Could use some help here, having a date

John R,

And what was the result?

Low

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Could use some help here, having a date

WOOOHOOOOO!

(and yes, I am actually a little, well, um jealous. What the hell is wrong with me???)

Anyway.
There are guidelines you can employ when starting to date. Not the "rules" mind you which are... whateva.
The guidelines include being polite. Picking up the check. (yes, I said it. I don't care how independent the Dutch girlz are, EVERYONE likes to be treated once in a while. or often...)

And NOT DISCLOSING TOO MUCH DEEP PERSONAL INFORMATION IN THE BEGINNING.
was that loud and clear enough?
No need to confess sins, saintly acts or one's need for medication until it becomes necessary. Would you disclose say, an anti-depressant consumption? A predilection for shaving your parts in weird ways? (not that you do, just making the point that too much information, is just that.)

Go out, have fun, enjoy. Keep it light and easy. For God's sake why would you consider having a drink?
You are actually handsome. And smart. With a dry and sly sense of humor. And you play the guitar for god's sake. Seriously. do you not get that???
Booze got in the way of that, remember. You were not those things with booze and without bac. Oh, and you're disarmingly sweet. I'm so thrilled to call you friend!

You are not bleep and he is not you. And I know you both a bit.

Sorry to bring it all out here. Sorry, too that we missed each other today. I'm too tired for other methods of communication atm.

Go to bed and dream of all the little pleasantries you are about to experience. Or the naughty things you definitely will if she's anything like Ne and puts out on the first date for smart-sexy-guitar-playing-ex-alkies.

I am officially off to bed.
xo for real.
K

[JohnR]

Could use some help here, having a date

Hiya Low,
It hasn't happened yet but I have been wondering what I will say to people, (more so to those who already know me) about why I am passing on booze, or why I am having just one drink. Nothing I came up with sounded good, then Tracy slam dunked it. :H

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Could use some help here, having a date

oh, and how was the kiss?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Could use some help here, having a date

sheesh and what Tracy said. I seriously keep missing the point today. sorry

[JohnR]

Could use some help here, having a date

Keeping it simple is always best!

[_serenity_]

Could use some help here, having a date

I agree with what the others said: no need to disclose your bac use on your first date! If the date leads to more in the future, you can disclose your past, but for the first date, keep it simple! Just relax and go with the flow. Have fun!

[gratitude]

Could use some help here, having a date

low,
interesting "problem".
if she isn't an alcoholic then she probably won't notice or care. funny, as an alcoholic it dominates my thinking. I even told someone early in my sobriety that I didn't trust people that didn't drink?! I now know that most people don't drink to excess. or care how much anyone else drinks.
that being said I sympathize. this is my last problem that I can't seem to shake. how do I go on a date without drinking.
are you uncomfortable around people who drink like I am? or are you worried that she might catch on that you are a former alkie and this will chase her away?
personally, I'm scared shitless of that uncomfortable silence that sometimes happens if I'm not ON! or slightly buzzed or more.
anyway, what's the worst that can happen? you get to be our MWO guinea pig. good luck and don't do what I do an isolate. gratitude

[Lowcountryman]

Could use some help here, having a date

Oh Ne, if there just wasn't this ocean

Picking up the check??? No, she's inviting me at her place at 11.00 (evening). And I found out that she's a very creative bi-sexual (and she's never gonna read this btw). So that's why I'm revved up a little
We never even spoke to each other. Just some eye-contact and when she left, she left me a note while I was singing a song. That's how independent Dutch girls are (all guys here already booking a holiday in the Netherlands)

Low

[Lowcountryman]

Could use some help here, having a date

Thanks Gratitude,

Don't know exactly what it is yet. This is the first time I'm 'confronted' with this issue. I think I'm more scared that she finds out I'm an ex-alkie. I'm pretty comfortable being around people that drink these days. But when it's one-on-one with a woman, I really wouldn't know what to say or do. I simply never tried without alcohol And of course I don't like silences. And when I'm drunk, I know for sure that I'll find her attractive, witty and smart. Well, it's just unknown territory. Gotta give it a shot.

Low

[JohnR]

Could use some help here, having a date

Grat, I've been in the same boat, worried about not being ON for people but just say you're on a med that does not agree with AL and that might be perfect to keep you under the radar.

Low, you have to post the results of of your date....censored or not. Woohooo!