Hi all,
I have visited this site many times over the years but only recently sat for a few hours and read some amazing threads. It was early last week and I was nursing a particularly bad hangover and feeling depressed and sorry for myself. I had taken Naltrexone some years ago but I didn't adhere to the daily dosage and they simply did not work.
I was googling for where I could get the Naltrexone implant in my country when I opened Crowns "My Naltrexone Journey" on this site. I sat and read the entire thread. I was overcome with inspiration and motivation that I haven't had before. I made an appt with my GP and started this "new journey" (I have started and failed too many times to count) last Friday and I am amazed. Now a bit about me...
I have been a binge drinker since having my first drink at 17. I would drink to get tispy so I could have a good time. That's the way I saw it at home and at family gatherings. You drank if you were happy or sad, excited or just relaxing. Rather than come over for a coffee or tea and bickkies , people came over for a drink. That's the way it was...
I then started buying a bottle of wine every now and again and drinking it at home from the age of 19. This progessed significantly and before I knew it I was a 39 year old with 3 young kids and a raging alcohol habit! binging every few days then spending days feeling so sick and depressed that I could do nothing. I couldn't keep a job until I was in my late 20's and started to try and keep my drinking down to a bottle a night and only binging on weekends. This didn't always work but I led a relatively normal life or so it seemed. It was not a well kept secret and I have said and done things that I am ashamed of. I try not to hold on to the memories and guilt as this will only drive me back to the lifestyle I am trying to leave. I am also 28 kilos overweight due to binge drinking then binging on junk food in the vain hope that it will cure the hangover. Ha!
Righto then.
I drank 3 bottles of wine last Friday night. I cannot tell you in words how sick I was following that binge! Even water was making me want to vomit.
Saturday I started taking my 50mg Naltrexone at 4.30pm. This is the usual nightly ritual of my mental obsession of whether I should buy a bottle of wine - only one - yeah right!
Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I had no desire to drink. There was no mental weighing up of should I or shouldn't I? Breaking out in a sweat trying to ignore the craving. No saying to myself 'Ok just this one more and I'll stop tomorrow". It was amazing!
On Wednesday my mother came over and brought a wine for her and a wine for me. I had asked to her bring me one on the way over. I think it was more out of habit because I really didn't feel like it. I struggled to drink it but I did finish the bottle. I felt a little icky all day Thursday so I think the Naltrexone really does make hangovers worse.
The pleasure of those first few sips have gone. It is like the alcohol has been removed from the wine and I don't have any desire to drink non alcoholic wine!!
Thursday was zilch then yesterday I went back to my GP for the results of a full checkup. To her and my astonishment there was no problem with my liver!! My GP has seen me right through the last 20 years of dealing with this terrible disease and she looked me in the eye and said "I can see on your face that you have had enough". I adore that woman. She has never judged me and is always happy to help my try drugs that may just be the magic bullet. My cholesterol and trygliceride levels was slightly over and so I must also stop my love of cured meats and soft cheeses!
So as we all know the brain works in bizarre ways. I headed home stopping at the local deli and stocked up on white crusty bread, Camembert, hot salami's and 2 bottles of wine. Why? Because I was going to stop everything that was slowly killing me from the inside out and I needed a last hurrah. Strange old brain, no sensibility at times...
By sharing this journey in a public forum I feel that I can not only help myself but anyone else who stumbles along it looking for a way out this alcoholic crap hole.
So here I am Saturday afternoon and nursing a shocker of a hangover but I am now set to get back on track.
Naltrexone has already proved itself to me and it certainly helps my motivation so this is my shiny brand new start with Naltrexone and becoming the lovable sober healthy person I know is hidden inside.
:welcome:
I have visited this site many times over the years but only recently sat for a few hours and read some amazing threads. It was early last week and I was nursing a particularly bad hangover and feeling depressed and sorry for myself. I had taken Naltrexone some years ago but I didn't adhere to the daily dosage and they simply did not work.
I was googling for where I could get the Naltrexone implant in my country when I opened Crowns "My Naltrexone Journey" on this site. I sat and read the entire thread. I was overcome with inspiration and motivation that I haven't had before. I made an appt with my GP and started this "new journey" (I have started and failed too many times to count) last Friday and I am amazed. Now a bit about me...
I have been a binge drinker since having my first drink at 17. I would drink to get tispy so I could have a good time. That's the way I saw it at home and at family gatherings. You drank if you were happy or sad, excited or just relaxing. Rather than come over for a coffee or tea and bickkies , people came over for a drink. That's the way it was...
I then started buying a bottle of wine every now and again and drinking it at home from the age of 19. This progessed significantly and before I knew it I was a 39 year old with 3 young kids and a raging alcohol habit! binging every few days then spending days feeling so sick and depressed that I could do nothing. I couldn't keep a job until I was in my late 20's and started to try and keep my drinking down to a bottle a night and only binging on weekends. This didn't always work but I led a relatively normal life or so it seemed. It was not a well kept secret and I have said and done things that I am ashamed of. I try not to hold on to the memories and guilt as this will only drive me back to the lifestyle I am trying to leave. I am also 28 kilos overweight due to binge drinking then binging on junk food in the vain hope that it will cure the hangover. Ha!
Righto then.
I drank 3 bottles of wine last Friday night. I cannot tell you in words how sick I was following that binge! Even water was making me want to vomit.
Saturday I started taking my 50mg Naltrexone at 4.30pm. This is the usual nightly ritual of my mental obsession of whether I should buy a bottle of wine - only one - yeah right!
Sunday, Monday and Tuesday I had no desire to drink. There was no mental weighing up of should I or shouldn't I? Breaking out in a sweat trying to ignore the craving. No saying to myself 'Ok just this one more and I'll stop tomorrow". It was amazing!
On Wednesday my mother came over and brought a wine for her and a wine for me. I had asked to her bring me one on the way over. I think it was more out of habit because I really didn't feel like it. I struggled to drink it but I did finish the bottle. I felt a little icky all day Thursday so I think the Naltrexone really does make hangovers worse.
The pleasure of those first few sips have gone. It is like the alcohol has been removed from the wine and I don't have any desire to drink non alcoholic wine!!
Thursday was zilch then yesterday I went back to my GP for the results of a full checkup. To her and my astonishment there was no problem with my liver!! My GP has seen me right through the last 20 years of dealing with this terrible disease and she looked me in the eye and said "I can see on your face that you have had enough". I adore that woman. She has never judged me and is always happy to help my try drugs that may just be the magic bullet. My cholesterol and trygliceride levels was slightly over and so I must also stop my love of cured meats and soft cheeses!
So as we all know the brain works in bizarre ways. I headed home stopping at the local deli and stocked up on white crusty bread, Camembert, hot salami's and 2 bottles of wine. Why? Because I was going to stop everything that was slowly killing me from the inside out and I needed a last hurrah. Strange old brain, no sensibility at times...
By sharing this journey in a public forum I feel that I can not only help myself but anyone else who stumbles along it looking for a way out this alcoholic crap hole.
So here I am Saturday afternoon and nursing a shocker of a hangover but I am now set to get back on track.
Naltrexone has already proved itself to me and it certainly helps my motivation so this is my shiny brand new start with Naltrexone and becoming the lovable sober healthy person I know is hidden inside.
:welcome:
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