Planning to try TSM Naltrexone

[KatieSmiles]

Planning to try TSM Naltrexone

week 8
38 units, not too bad as I spent 4 days away on a wine tour, started 'sipping' at noon.
Saw my GP again, because of other health issues and she asked about my Nal experience, mood, level of drinking etc..she seems quite interested in following my progress.

[KatieSmiles]

Planning to try TSM Naltrexone

Well, I am midway through my ninth week of TSM and last night after a total washout of a weekend drinking myself blind and not really sure why, I found myself unintenionally AF.
I have had a serious "revelation" as to what it must be like to live like a normal person and it has caught me off guard.

After work yesterday I ran some errands, went shopping, stopped for a nice dinner and finished up with a grocery shop. I didn't arrive home until 6:30 PM. After I unloaded the car and put my groceries away, I went outside and pulled a few weeds, made a few plans for changes in the garden, came back inside about 8:30 PM, poured myself an iced tea and sat in my favorite chair to check my email and then suddenly it "hit" me...this is what normal people do, this is how their daily life is.

For years and years the only thing I ever did after work was to stop to pick up booze, then hurry to get home so I could start guzzling. I did all my errands on weekends between 9 am and 3:30 pm and made sure I was home in time for "happy" hour. This somehow over time became what I thought was normal life, the change was so slow I didn't see it happening. I thought I was a happy "functioning" heavy drinker and living the good life. What a crock of crapola.

I sit here overcome with sadness at the years of life I have wasted and the losses that have occurred do to drinking myself into a stupor nightly (the loss my 25 yr marriage being the biggest one). And all the time I had no clue as to HOW BAD I REALLY was. I purposely brushed aside any questions or concerns of whether or not my drinking had escalated to dangerous levels. "I'm fine", " No worries, I have it under control ", "I never miss work, I'm okay", " I don't drink that much" and on and on. Meanwhile, I was hiding bottles in the trash, sneaking drinks, drinking wine out of a coffee mug.....just who was I fooling???? I see it so clearly now and it breaks my heart to remember the young healthy, happy, vibrant woman I once was and realize what she has become.
I am 99% certain TSM will work for me and I am ever so grateful. I am just so very sad I didn't find it sooner.
I do believe when one door closes another one opens and maybe I had to have a big shake up to even think to look for this door to TSM. I'm sure I will have many more "reflective" moments on this journey.

One thing is for certain, for anyone reading this that has not yet come up with a plan...FIND ONE and start it ASAP. TSMer, Baclofiend, AA...whatever you think might work for you do it and if you don't succeed, try something else until you find something that works! There is a way out for each and everyone of us, believe it!

Love
KS

[KatieSmiles]

Planning to try TSM Naltrexone

Week 9

45/1 AF. Not my best week. Still early in the game for me, I have lots of years to undo. I "feel" the medication working though, so I'm optimistic. Things like not finishing my last glass or actually pouring a drink then not wanting it and dumping it out. Small yet significant changes.

Onward
K

[Phoenix1]

Planning to try TSM Naltrexone

Ks,it does sound like it's working for you and very early days,just keep taking that pill one hour beforehand.I've had lots of spikes but I'm almost 10 months into it and so happy I never gave up on it because it has worked for me even if it did take a long time.

[mario]

Planning to try TSM Naltrexone

KatieSmiles;1138364 wrote: One thing is for certain, for anyone reading this that has not yet come up with a plan...FIND ONE and start it ASAP. TSMer, Baclofiend, AA...whatever you think might work for you do it and if you don't succeed, try something else until you find something that works! There is a way out for each and everyone of us, believe it!
Love
KS

Well said katiesmiles & well done on your journey so far :goodjob: