Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Or you could go up. Find out if your body has acclimated enough that this SE also dissipates. Might be worth a weekend's attempt. just sayin (It might not, though, so if you don't have a couple of days free from life-changing events, I would amend my suggestion and say that yours is a perfectly practical plan!)
I would watch out for the somnolence.

Thanks Ne,

Nice idea, but unfortunately I do NOT have the luxury of a weekend free from life changing events!!!

Unless plans change, I shall be flying intercontinentally on Saturday to deal with meetings all day Sunday and so on through the whole week.

All things considered, I picked a REALLY SHITTY TIME to start Bac. But, in the words of Magnus Magnusson*, I've started so I'll finish.

Paul.

*Sorry Americans, that is a British cultural reference that you won't get**
**And for the Brits, it is ironic I pick this reference. as a teen, I always described my attitude to booze as "Magnusson's syndrome" for this very reason.***
***In fact, I think in my heart I've known I was an alcoholic since I was about 15 years old!****
****God I love these asterisks upon asterisks. Now I know what it feels like to be Terry Pratchett ;-)

[bleep]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

I hope all the meetings went well Paul?

It's strange - a lot of the people who start on baclofen suddenly find their timing to be disastrous. At the same time, there is no time like the present for sorting life out!

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hi Bleep,

The meetings went well, but... I came off bac. Frankly, I'm very annoyed that I had to do so, as I was (even at 30mg/day) seeing a genuine reduction in alcohol intake. The trouble is, reduction is not abstinence, and the SEs of the Bac (or Bac + alcohol) left me with no other decision than to make a change. I was not in an environment where I had any level of trust in myself that I could not drink- and of course, alcohol is the known quantity, so I stopped Bac.

As of today, I am now going to jump back on. No pissing around with 5mg, I'm going straight from 0-30 for a week.

OH- and since I got back home, my drinking efforts have been redoubled- so I AM NOT DRINKING TONIGHT!

Sorry, I'm in a bit of a mess right now _sigh_.

Paul.

[bleep]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Shit happens, they say, and it would seem they are usually right.

There are probably going to be side effects, and a fair bit more more pronounced than the ones you are seeing at 30mg's. Are you in a position where this is going to be okay, or is your timing still hectic?

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

bleep;1116657 wrote: Shit happens, they say, and it would seem they are usually right.

There are probably going to be side effects, and a fair bit more more pronounced than the ones you are seeing at 30mg's. Are you in a position where this is going to be okay, or is your timing still hectic?

Hi Bleep,

I think a PM may be more appropriate here!

Cheers,

Paul.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

PMs are great tools, but the forum as a whole is a very useful one, too. Lots of support/advice/commiseration from people with lots of different experiences. Just something to keep in mind, in general...

Hang in, LLB! You'll soon be on your way to fulfilling that name!

I, too, am curious as to what you have in mind for titration and managing SEs should they arise?
Hugs!
Ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hiya, LLB!

So you're bac on bac. How much and with what plan?

I don't know when I figured out that I was an alcoholic. I will say that I was always the drunkest girl at the party. Which isn't such a good thing, as you might imagine. But I'm a good storyteller and do so even in my own mind, so it all 'worked out.' :upset:

The self-flagellation concerning my poor choices has dissipated to an extent that I can actually identify it and curtail it immediately when it happens now.

As bleep said, shit happens. I screw up. What's new? ha! But it doesn't mean that I have to wallow in it, anymore, or even fix it, a la AA. (making lists of my wrong-doings, making amends, etc...) I think I'll just try to do it better next time... hope it stands me in good stead.

Can't remember where you said you were, but even on the left coast, it's almost time for you to arise, if you're taking bac!

I'll spare you all the emoticons, since it makes my other male British friends around here so nervous. :H (speaking of which, where are the British chicks? Is it just you boys that struggle with the booze? Doubt it... There has to be some women to put up with you! Though I know you found yourself a non-alkie American. Lucky guy. We rock. )
xxoo
Ne

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Oh, and btw and ftor (for the official record), I swore so many times, pre- and during and post-bac that I wouldn't drink that I've lost count. Whatever, dude. It doesn't rule my life anymore and THAT is all I care about.
:h (ha!)
Ne

[Murphyx]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Ne/Neva Eva;1118384 wrote:
I will say that I was always the drunkest girl at the party. Which isn't such a good thing, as you might imagine.

I have never before read such an inaccurate statement.

Hey Paul, time to check in matey. What's new?

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Murph: Thanks for checking in, but it's all bad news I'm afraid. A combination of my new, really quite important job and also my personal circumstances that I informed you off in PM coming to a head mean that I need to be pretty on the ball. Of course, by 'on the ball', I mean mostly pissed, but whilst it does my health and marriage no favours, alcohol does at least allow me to function at a pretty high level. Something which baclofen (even at 30mg/day) did not. Note the past tense :-(

Truthfully, I suspect that my biggest problem is what I like to think of as the catch 22: the combination of alcohol and Bac is the real problem, but in super stressful situations like mine, until one gets up to near-switch doses of bac, alcohol free days are a laughable pipe dream.

Due to my circumstances, I have to make a major decision shortly about where my family and I will be living in a couple of months. Depending upon which way this goes, I'm likely to be looking forward to a period of self-imposed unemployment. Should that happen, I intend to give the drug another try.

Shit this is depressing. Sorry board, for letting you down- but my circumstances really /are/ quite extreme right now- I'm honestly not just making a dumb excuse not to quit the booze.

Paul.

p.s. on a lighter note, someone mentioned coronation street/alcoholism in another thread- Google led me to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e54gzq5Xr0Y[/video]]YouTube - ‪Coronation Street - Barlows Visit to alcoholics meeting‬‏

Which had me almost in tears with laughter. Partly as a fond reminder of home and partly because (as usual) Blanche's outrageous comments are quite the reflection of how many of us secretly feel about AA!

[Murphyx]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hi Paul

Much as I know that bac would sort you out, I am only too aware of how difficult the titration period can be and the importance of staying focused in your position. I understand and even approve of your decision (not that any fucker needs my approval for anything, but you know what I mean). But I hope you keep the idea of bac alive, not the foggy, dull-wittedness of titration but the bright light of sobriety that's waiting at the end. And when your circumstances allow, you'll be back into that bac bottle like a rat up a drainpipe.

If you do end up jobless, at least that'll be the cue for a full on bac attack. Obviously I hope you don't end up jobless...or do I?

Anyway, take it easy mate and check in on the boards regularly to remind yourself that there is a cure and it's waiting for you when your're ready.

Murph

p.s. just listened to the Corrie clip. I've not seen it for years, it's all a bit too err Northern for me, but Blanche makes me laugh like a drain: "You need to get out more. Wait till you try bingo, you?ll hyperventilate."

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Murphyx;1123780 wrote: "You need to get out more. Wait till you try bingo, you?ll hyperventilate."

While the British are notoriously humorless/humourless, as we all know, THAT was a very funny clip. thanks for it.

I managed life pretty well drunk, too. It was a lot more difficult, in some ways, to navigate through a whole 'nother version of being not-quite-right.

That said, I don't envy your position. It sucks to be hungover. There is light at the end of the tunnel, though, and a bright white hope for you to grab on to when you are feeling particularly lousy. Keep in mind, too, that you're not a bad person. You're making the right decisions at the right time in order to keep your family healthy and some measure of wealthy.

I totally get it, Paul. Hope you'll keep in touch.
Hang in there!
Ne

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Thanks Ne and Murph,

I'll be here, and I'm glad that you folks understand my peculiar circumstances rather than just think I'm wimping out!

TBH, with all of the crap that's gone down, I'm seriously considering quitting my job and going crazy on the Bac for a little while, then attempting to re-enter my recession-destroyed industry a couple of months later.

We'll see what works itself out!

Cheers,

Paul.

[wanttobesober]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hi Paul,

If I were you I would seriously reconsider the decision about Baclofen use.
Take an advise from someone who did not learn from other people's mistake and had to pay the price for his addiction.
Nothing is worst than loosing a good job in this economy. I had a good job. I am in the electronics manufacturing and my company sent me travel to lot of countries, as well.
Because I could not control my alcohol addiction, I did really crazy things like I missed a connection in New York to Asia because I was drunk. I arrived to my destination a day late
and the next day still did not show up to work because I was still drunk.
Alcoholism can get out of hand as you know and you never know what is around the next corner. A DUI, divorce, ER, I have done it all. I do not know how any of the side effects could be worst than the uncertainty what could happen to you, if you keep drinking.
You know that sooner or later something bad will happen, if you do it long enough.
Today you can still choose to get help. Don't wait till life puts you in the situation when you are forced to make decision that you really do not want.
I guess it all boils down to motivation. May be you are not motivated yet to quit.
...But as I said learn from other people's mistakes while you can!

Good Luck,

Brian

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

wanttobesober;1126145 wrote: If I were you I would seriously reconsider the decision about Baclofen use.
Take an advise from someone who did not learn from other people's mistake and had to pay the price for his addiction.
Nothing is worst than loosing a good job in this economy. I had a good job. I am in the electronics manufacturing and my company sent me travel to lot of countries, as well.
Because I could not control my alcohol addiction, I did really crazy things like I missed a connection in New York to Asia because I was drunk. I arrived to my destination a day late
and the next day still did not show up to work because I was still drunk.
Alcoholism can get out of hand as you know and you never know what is around the next corner. A DUI, divorce, ER, I have done it all. I do not know how any of the side effects could be worst than the uncertainty what could happen to you, if you keep drinking.
You know that sooner or later something bad will happen, if you do it long enough.
Today you can still choose to get help. Don't wait till life puts you in the situation when you are forced to make decision that you really do not want.
I guess it all boils down to motivation. May be you are not motivated yet to quit.
...But as I said learn from other people's mistakes while you can!

Good Luck,

Brian

WantToBeSober,

I appreciate your well intentioned message, but you have no idea what I am going through right now. The reason Murph (a Baclofen success story, no less) posted in support of my decision is not because he wishes to enable my alcoholism but because he knows (off board) some of what I am facing in the very near future.

I am impressed by your encouragement to re-start Bac, but you need to think really carefully before you make statements like:

"I guess it all boils down to motivation. May be you are not motivated yet to quit."

No, Brian. Of my own volition, and with no family, employer or medical pressure, I recognised and decided to search the internet for an answer to my addiction.

I then purchased a tonne of meds online from 2 internet pharmacies who might have (might?!) steal my identity and then called and paid a $130 fee to a doctor in Chicago for a Q&A/dosing schedule for an off-label, highly experimental indication of an drug with well documented, debilitating side effects.

Hey! I'm not motivated to quit AT ALL- it was just for fun!

Or maybe, rather than me just being an alcoholic looking for an excuse to keep drinking as you appear to assume, I actually DID give Bac a shot, and I actually DID discover that due to circumstances beyond my control (really, you would not believe) that I could not have a Bac fogged mind at this point.

Without going to specifics on-board, I have a lot more at stake right now than just my job, and I cannot be dealing with mental fogginess. (Well, OK, additional mental fogginess).

Again, thanks for your post, and I really do believe it was made with the best intentions, but please do not question people's motivation to quit or rush to assume that they are just making dumb excuses when they might just have valid reasons outside of your own experiences- it is unhelpful.

Paul.