Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Well, Thursday night update (from my phone, so brief):

3 beers and 2 Margaritas.

Same pattern, and too much, but once again a fraction of my normal consumption and, crucially, no desire to furtively sneak big swigs out of liquor bottles before retiring to bed. This probably sounds dumb to most of you, but it is a REALLY BIG DEAL for me. Makes me feel more like a heavy drinker and less like a pathetic addict. On the subject of self esteem, a week of greatly reduced drinking has done absolute wonders for my mood/outlook on life, it really has.

Brian- yes I have considered upping my dose, but I am concerned about the liver thing; I have good reason to believe mine is in poor shape. And yes, I know that 3x 2g + 5 drinks is probably substantially worse than 3x 3g with 1 or even no drinks- maybe I'm just struggling to let go of the past ;-)

So, tomorrow's update should be interesting- like any self respecting British male, Friday night is synonymous in my mind with drinking as much alcohol as is humanly possible, with the only non-booze nutition being purchased in the early hours of the morning from the type of 'restaurant' that has wheels. I don't wish to jinx myself, but I'm feeling oddly confident that I can do a decent job of 'modding', though...

[bleep]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Paul - this is great!

Why don't you get your liver checked out? And a few days of reduced boozing, if you're boozing heavily, will make you feel great, as it should. You're no longer poisoning yourself on a massive basis...

Good luck with Friday. Not a day I did well with, historically...

[Murphyx]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

LittleLessBoozin';1162429 wrote:
Brian- yes I have considered upping my dose, but I am concerned about the liver thing;

Is L-Glut hard on the liver?

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

bleep;1162555 wrote: Paul - this is great!

Why don't you get your liver checked out? And a few days of reduced boozing, if you're boozing heavily, will make you feel great, as it should. You're no longer poisoning yourself on a massive basis...

Good luck with Friday. Not a day I did well with, historically...

....And nor did I :-(

A combination of factors led to pretty heavy boozing, sad to say.

In terms of getting my liver checked out, I should, I know I should but I'm too much of a pussy to do so. I guess I'm hoping that I'll be able to sufficiently reduce the boozing and then it will sort itself out. And then I'll live happily ever after.

>sigh

[RudyB]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

paul, a reduced amount of drinking doesn't sound stupid to us. even if it's still a lot to the average humanoid.

and ain't that amazin, that self-esteem stuff?! mine has skyrocketed since i'm not a drunk anymore. just brilliant, it is! as i've reported on my home thread, i don't even wear makeup anymore, after being dependent on it to bear looking in the mirror for the past couple of years. tis a good scale to use, this feeling self-worth. it lets us know how we're doing.

always glad to read about your steps on this journey.

xo rudy b

[bleep]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Shit happens. Were you on target with all your various doses of supplements?

Bear in mind as well that this sort of thing takes practice. You haven't set out to tee-total, you're moderating, and I know from bitter experience how tricky it is to get the hang of. Several times I thought I had a grip on the issue and suddenly woke up the next morning, wondering what happened.

It does get easier with practice if you remove the massive craving from the equation to start with, but it takes a bit of time. Don't kill yourself because you didn't get it right the first time.

[wanttobesober]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Oh well! You were not alone!
I messed up my weekend, as well.
My sobriety lasted 29 days and 3 hours.
I wanted to do 30 days so I could make a post on the 30 day thread, but unfortunately I was
short 21 hours. Only a fool can do crazy things like that! Apparently I am!
:upset:
I guess we learn as we go.
I made some statements before on my earlier posts, that I was out of the woods yet, but I guess it is more than just "craving".
We also have to deal with habits. And that can be tough, as well!
As far as your liver goes, I think if you can still drink massive quantities your liver can not be
in too bad of a shape. I have read somewhere that when your liver got damaged really bad, you would get intoxicated even from a few drinks.
Of course it does not mean too much.

cheers,

Brian

[Bruunhilde]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Ironically, you had lots of company you guys. It seems we three were not the only ones on the board that went overboard this past weekend. I'm AF Day 3 now after making myself horribly sick Friday night - or I mean Sat/Sun which is when the hangover hit, almost ER quality days.

Back on board though. Glutamine, pills, whatever it takes.

[wanttobesober]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hi Bruun,

Sorry to hear that!
At least we can start fresh again!
I am going to have a fresh start tomorrow.
And this time I will not try to retest myself after 30 days.

Cheers,

Brian

[LadyLush]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Wanttobe,


Class reunion Saturday and I am here crawling back on the wagon with you.
We are in this together.



LL

[LadyLush]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

And all of you!

Milk Thistle for liver! It is one of those things BIG PHARMA does not want you to know!


LL

[wanttobesober]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hi LadyLush,

Sorry to hear LL!
At least we are not alone!
You probably had some fun though.
I was just drinking alone at home for 3 days. Not much of a fun.
Looking back seems pretty much idiotic! I can not tell why I did it.
Oh well, let's crawl back on the wagon......

Cheers,

Brian

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

wanttobesober;1164056 wrote: Sorry to hear LL!
At least we are not alone!
You probably had some fun though.
I was just drinking alone at home for 3 days. Not much of a fun.
Looking back seems pretty much idiotic! I can not tell why I did it.
Oh well, let's crawl back on the wagon......

Cheers,

Brian

Well, Brian, LL, Bruun and others- what a bunch of C$#%s we are! I'm losing all of my worldly possessions and running away from a country before I get deported- what excuses do you lot have? :-P

Seriously though, sorry to hear about everyone's lapses. For me, it was a VERY rough weekend with too many opportunities for boozing. Today has been better though- I'm drinking, but at the same L-Glut moderated levels as described last week (5-ish beers tonight)

Brian- you are understandably pissed at yourself after a Looooooooooooooooooooooong run of sobriety, but if I were you I would seriously focus on 29 days sober- a LOT more than most here have acheived in our adult lives- rather than one drunken weekend. You are doing great, and you personally have been an inspiration to several of us- and the spreader of knowledge about glutamine!

Cheers,

Paul.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

LittleLessBoozin';1164154 wrote: I'm losing all of my worldly possessions and running away from a country before I get deported- what excuses do you lot have? :-P

hmmm. i recently went through something like this and I thought of it as disposing of all the shit that chains me and getting a fresh new start.

It was pretty cool, though I wish I hadn't thrown away my strapless bra. I swore I'd never need it again, and here I am two months later getting ready to rock it in a strapless dress. At a super religious wedding where many of the several hundred guests will be in frocks. That come to their ankles and their wrists. No kidding. (f* that, you know?) But I think I digress?

Anyway, to each his own I suppose. I won't try to pollyanna the shit feeling of drinking against the will and the way it made me feel though. I will point out that you and all of the people you mentioned are doing a pretty admirable job of getting that crap out of your lives, too. Cleaning out all kinds of clutter and burdens and beasties under the beds...
just sayin

[Bruunhilde]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

True Paul, you're forced to flee the country? I hope you're just joking....?

I agree with the positives here, a clap on the back for the AF days, don't use the AL days as excuse to dip in again, nor a reason to diss yourself. We all do too much of that entirely (except self-proclaimed former narcisist Rudy perhaps ). JK Rudy.