Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

L-Glutamine

Wanttobesober- thanks for your post about L-Glut; here's an extremely (and unintentionally) long update based upon my day 1 experience. Broadly encouraging, although I am not without skepticism at this point.

The upshot is that yesterday, for the first time in MUCH time, I had a completely AF day (well, apart from my wife giving me some dessert which had a couple of teaspoons of brandy spooned on it- what are the chances?! We never even bloody eat dessert!)

I took L-Glut (2Kmg 3x/day) and VitC (2Kmg 3x/day). Oh, and whilst I was buying vitamins I also took a 100mg 5-HTP in the AM as I thought that it might 'naturally' enhance my mood and also aid sleeping come beddie byes time thanks to further metabolism to melatonin.

How did it feel? well, I kind of felt like shitty all day, but let us take into account the fact that Friday and Saturday were as far removed from AF as the human mind can comprehend, so there is definitely another factor at play in all this. Come the PM, I was drinking a lot of water, but had a headache like I was dehydrated. Possibly a hangover, but I suspect an alcohol withdrawal symptom.

In terms of cravings, definitely much less than usual, although I suspect (alas) that this is nothing but psychological. Also, I sort of considered the cravings as I had them, and with an interesting result. It wasn't so much a physiological craving as I've had before and which killed me big time quitting nicotine, but definitely more psychological, i.e. when cooking, at the store, passing a bar, passing a liquor store I thought about getting myself a drink /because that's what I do!/ Interestingly again, when I thought "Oh no, I'm not drinking today" then the thought did seem to pass more or less straight away. I seriously did begin to wonder what was up with that- does L-Glut actually surpress physical cravings? Am I super-receptive to a placebo out of desperation? Is alcohol addiction as much habit as anything? A combination?

What was really cool for me was thinking about this near-dispassionately in scientific terms rather than my normal white knuckling experience of "Fuck I want a beer. Look at that ice cold beer! Wow, there's an open bottle of brandy in the cupboard, God I wish I could take a big old glug of that!"

Anyway, aided by the melatonin (possibly) and some doxylamine (definitely!) I fell asleep surprisingly easily at 10:30PM, and then, to my absolute shock, didn't wake up until 6:00AM or thereabouts. That is a good night's sleep for me at the best of times*.

This morning, I feel a little woozy, headachy and with a head full of cotton wool (apologies for the disorganized and rambling post), but I am delighted to say I am not hallucinating or, at time of publication, going into acute cardiac arrest.

The only health concern I have about the L-Glut is that I am feeling very hot and achy of liver. Given the sorry state that (I assume) my liver is in and given the hepatic metabolism pathway of L-Glut, this leads me to worry that I might be doing more harm than good, although of course this could very likely just be my alcoholic brain trying to trick me into not taking the Glut and drinking an 18 pack of Heineken instead, which would be far safer...

Based upon my success last night, I am following exactly the same regime today and I'll report back tomorrow. As I mentioned earlier, I suspect I am doing nothing but white knuckling with a placebo, but white knuckling for a night is quite the achievement for me.

Since I can remember, I have very rarely done an AF day and when I have I have usually followed it up with a second quite easily before thinking 'great, I'm not an alcoholic after all!' and then re-starting on the third.

Since realizing that I am, in fact, an alcoholic and therefore researching the condition, of course I have discovered that any/all withdrawal symptoms tend to peak on the third day which would very easily explain this pattern. D'oh!

Anyway, I have decided to /try/ to stay AF until the weekend. If I succeed, this will be my first AF week (in fact my first AF >2 days) in roughly 20 years.

If I fail, which let's face it is more probable, then I'll probably sulk and feel sorry for myself for a while and them come back in a couple of weeks ;-)

Cheers,

Paul.

*I don't think I've broached this before, but fear of insomnia has always (i.e. since early teens) been a huge source of concern for me, and 'that last nightcap', and the next, and the next... are always accompanied by thoughts of "Oh God, I might not sleep if I don't drink more". Anyone else identify with this?

:thanks: to anyone who made it this far!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Great update.
I definitely had the "I need to drink a little more to make sure I sleep well" thing. So ridiculous.

I searched out your thread, not knowing that you were in the process of updating it, to point out (again, maybe) that I had terrible SEs at the lower doses that completely went away when I went up to above about 50mg... I suffered through the lower doses for almost 6 weeks, scared to go any higher because of the aforementioned afflictions. Literally the minute I did, they disappeared.

But it sounds as though things are moving right along for you without the bac, and I'm really happy to hear it.

I would humbly suggest that rather than setting a rather difficult goal, you just revel and relish in any AF moment. And set an achievable goal. Something like, "I'm not going to get a drink when I pass the kitchen on the way to the bathroom during the commercial break." Or even better, "I think I'll ... (what do you like to do?) go pick some flowers from the neighbor's garden." Or if you're channeling something a little more devious, "I think I'll continue to leave a smattering of very funny, albeit horribly (tsk) offensive posts on the threads of unsuspecting (pure as the driven snow) women on MWO." Or join Murph in the crusade to find avs that are indecent and difficult to resist.
I have a lot of other suggestions, too... I'm procrastinating...

:h (don't let the affection bother your british soul. I'm American, we luv everybody. )
Ne

I am literally going to the store to buy some HTP right now.

[wanttobesober]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

LittleLessBoozin';1160263 wrote: Wanttobesober- thanks for your post about L-Glut;


No problem! I am glad it is helping you!

LittleLessBoozin';1160263 wrote: I seriously did begin to wonder what was up with that- does L-Glut actually surpress physical cravings? Am I super-receptive to a placebo out of desperation?



I doubt it.

LittleLessBoozin';1160263 wrote:

The only health concern I have about the L-Glut is that I am feeling very hot and achy of liver. Given the sorry state that (I assume) my liver is in and given the hepatic metabolism pathway of L-Glut, this leads me to worry that I might be doing more harm than good, although of course this could very likely just be my alcoholic brain trying to trick me into not taking the Glut and drinking an 18 pack of Heineken instead, which would be far safer...

Yes! I think it is: alcoholic brain trying to trick you!

LittleLessBoozin';1160263 wrote:

Anyway, I have decided to /try/ to stay AF until the weekend. If I succeed, this will be my first AF week (in fact my first AF >2 days) in roughly 20 years.

Good call: I think you can make it with L-Glut!

Well, I am on my 25th day AF thanks to L-Glut. Last time I had that long abstinence was
in 1992 when I was sober for almost a year. Last week I also had my Birthday and it was
the first time in my adult life that I did not drink any alcohol on my birthday.
Even though I got a bottle of Jose Cuervo from a friend of mine.
Believe me I could not have made this far without L-Glut.
There is no doubt in my mind that it is not placebo effect.


:goodjob:

[bleep]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Great to hear Paul! Good luck with your mission.

And I also doubt the placebo effect, it seems to be really helping.

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

bleep;1160567 wrote: Great to hear Paul! Good luck with your mission.

And I also doubt the placebo effect, it seems to be really helping.

Bleep/WBS:

We'll see what happens tonight, but last night was not AF. It was considerably better that that!

Fish for dinner and my wife opened a nice bottle of white and poured me a glass. Now, for folks such as NE who live with a fellow alkie, "No thanks, I'm trying not to drink tonight" is an option, but not really for me. Plus I really fancied wine with my meal- being honest, I think there was some crave there.

However, after that glass of wine (albeit a 250ml measure), I then had a decaf coffee, then a water, and then 1 beer- as much out of habit as anything.

This is EXTREMELY unusual (in fact, unheard of) behaviour for me- normally a glass of wine=drain bottle+at least 6 beers and probably a nightcap. I did none of this, and didn't really feel the need to.

VERY, VERY early days yet, but I'm certainly taking the L-Glut today too. See you tomorrow...

Paul.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

that's amazing. Congrats!

[bleep]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

That's really good to hear Paul. These chemical solutions are incredible.

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Yesterday's report:

Mai Tai around 5:00PM, 1/2 bottle wine whilst cooking/with food, 1 beer in the evening.

Still an unhealthy drinking amount, and clearly following an upward trend from day 1, but still way, way down on normal. Also, except maybe the mai tai, no particular craving and once again that weird feeling of "is this craving or merely habit/comfort?".

Let us see what tonight holds. Actually, thinking 'tonight' rather than 'today' is an improvement in itself. Generally I'm not a daytime/lunchtime drinker during working days, but on days off, sneaky sips from the bottle/any excuse to eat at a restaurant that sells booze are absolutely the norm- today was such a day, and I ate at a non-booze-selling restaurant. I did think "Ooh, I could go to a place that'll sell me a beer", but then I discounted it and with no real internal struggle. Again, I'm beginning to wonder if my primal thoughts of obtaining and drinking booze are currently more as a result of long-ingrained thinking/behavioural patterns than anything else.

Cheers,

Paul.

[wanttobesober]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hi Paul,

Good to hear that your consumption is way down!
Awesome!
This is my 27th AL free day. I will do 30 days and then Sunday I will test myself with some wine. I am curious how L-Glut will effect my cravings if I drink. Will see if I can be a social drinker
down the road. It looks like you are able to drink some and still stop drinking.
That is great!

Cheers,

Brian

[bleep]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

I had/have huge issues with habitual drinking, so it's definitely a real issue to consider. I'm in the process of breaking the habit, which is actually pretty easy when you put your mind to it, so I'll let you know how that goes...

[RudyB]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

yay, paul! this is great! yes, i used to do that nightcap thing, too, to stave off the insomnia. ha! it didn't work much, just kept me up later and later with my guinness.

keep eating, and doing all that other good stuff that keeps you strong. good luck with your busy life!

[LittleLessBoozin']

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

RudyB;1161683 wrote: yay, paul! this is great! yes, i used to do that nightcap thing, too, to stave off the insomnia. ha! it didn't work much, just kept me up later and later with my guinness.

keep eating, and doing all that other good stuff that keeps you strong. good luck with your busy life!

So... last night's story. Once again a cocktail, this time around 6:00PM (once again, I should note, a very late start for me- and after not seeking out a booze selling restaurant at lunchtime).

One beer with dinner and 2 beers watching TV, plus finishing 1/2 my wife's beer for her.

So still excessive drinking, but still way down on the norm and (significantly, in my mind) down rather than up on yesterday.

Let's give it until Sunday in case everything goes horribly wrong. If it does not, I may even start an L-Glut diary rather than posting this stuff on my old baclofen thread.

Cheers,

Paul.

[wanttobesober]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Hey Paul,

Still not bad!
Have you thought about increasing your L-glut from 3 x 2 to 3 x 3 grams?
Or do you think it is just habitual drinking?
L-glut is safe. Some body builders take as much as 40 grams per day.

Cheers,

Brian

[Murphyx]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

Yeah but body-builders also take steroids and have tiny shrivelled dicks. Just sayin'.:H

Looking good Paul.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here starteth Paul's Baclofen diary

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...fen-48777.html

There's some really good info about supplements, including L-Glut, on that thread. It's in the first page or two, so not much searching! And lemme tell you, RedT knows her stuff. I've done what she suggested and started with the top and moved down. I notice a difference! (No L-glut for me, it makes me dizzy. :H)
Keep it up and keep us posted, LLB. I'm very excited for you!
:l
Ne