just got my own bac!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

thanks for that, bruun. i'll check out those links. i do think it's toxin elimination, now i need the next ingredient to help elimante more quickly, or to do it with less odor. (i hope it's not an underlying medical problem!!) i drink chlorophyll, which is supposed to be a natural internal deodorant, but it's clearly not working! i think i will switch to lemon in my water for now...

[LadyLush]

just got my own bac!

Okay,
Christmas vacation does not mean you get a break! I have some Shakespeare questions I need answered and I need you. You know I studied him once in college and took him as an elective again starting in January?
Can't get enough of that romantic stuff!

Hope all is well and you haven't put the ex out with the sheep or something bizarre like that!

Love ya,
LL:l

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

reggie! i finally had a listen and look - what a pretty and dramatic song (perfect day) and video ~ thank you.

lushie, i'm afraid i'm not going to be any help with the shakespeare, i haven't studied him since tenth grade. are you really starting a course in january?

i wish i could say that the ex has gone grazing far away, but he's still around. fortunately, he's house sitting this week, so i won't be seeing him. god, tell me this WILL end. sometimes i lose sight of that and i become despondent; it's a constant practice of refocusing my thoughts, of developing my positivity muscle.

well, i've got a house to clean, a cloying five year old, and presents to wrap, so i shall be on my way.

happy days, everyone!

xo rudy

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

Repeat after me: This shall be over soon. Rudy, very happy the X is gone for Xmas. That's alot of X's in a short sentence! One more X and he's out!

How's G doing with the X in the house, by the way? Is he fine with things? Kids are very flexible, sometimes. I bet he's looking forward to Santa!

Have a good one! :rockon:

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hey, thanks bruun, i didn't realize you had posted here.

yes, i shall repeat after you: this shall be over soon! (i have a note taped to my desk at work: 'this will end fast and well'. it has only been there for a couple of weeks.)

my son is as resilient as they come, i daresay. he's taking his father's presence in stride, not seeming to find anything a bit strange about it. (i am happy he's still so young (5), otherwise i think i'd be fielding a heap of questions i'd have to think carefully about before answering with calculated diplomacy.) this evening, however, when we arrived home from vt, the livingroom was piled with things -including HIS tv- that he didn't -apparently- want to have in 'his' room. (they also included a penciled profile of me from when i was 20; wonder why he didn't want to look at that.) g said something along the lines of: hey, that was rude! now we don't even have a place to sit! and went on to say: my dad doesn't take care of his things. dunno where he got that last idea... (but, even if he had never heard me say such things -which clearly he has- he can decipher as much by a look around the property and the evidence displayed in abandoned tools in the field and the like.)

...so, we're making due with half a living room and the joy of his lack of presence; he's now at his weekly poker game, where he'll be until way past bedtime. tomorrow, the games begin again; he'll be here and we'll be here, and i'll employ my armchair zen training in detachment and lack of words. i'll keep my distance and maintain my composure. i'm hoping that on tuesday, when my lawyer finally returns to the office after over a week away, i'll receive from him a note about the latest counter-proposal from my ex as to how we should resolve our dilemna. that should be rich... i'll come back with something that -it is hoped- will bring us quickly to resolution. wish me luck!

the other night, while in vermont, i went to dinner in the local fancy restaurant with a friend who ordered the tofu tempura. i was appalled at the result of that request! the tofu was in a big bland block, coated with soggy dough, atop an over-vinegared pile of cabbage, atop a mushy lump of squash, all in a pool of curry sauce with some bell peppers. evidently, vermonters should not try to make thai food! later that night, after a few hours of sleep, i lay in bed, wide awake, on the brink of composing an email to the restaurant about all that was wrong with their sixteen dollar dish (i still may write that note, especially in light of the fact that this dish is on their regular menu, it was not a special - what a crime!). they should have marinated the tofu, fried it in small slabs, then fried it in tempura batter, served it over more gently seasoned cabbage, atop a thicker curry with more vegetables and without the squash. duhh! (then again, my friend should have known better than to order an ethnic dish in a non-ethnic restaurant in rural vermont.)

those are the things that occupy my mind -sometimes- instead of the overwhelming problems of my current situation, and i love them for helping me feel successful in finding solutions. if i can take the opportunity to ratchet away at small problems, perhaps that will make me stronger for the bigger ones. or perhaps they're just a distraction. either way, i do enjoy them.

for the record, that night when i was staying awake composing my recipe for the over-esteemed restaurant, i was also thinking of you all, and looking forward to the opportunity to drag my thread back from page four with this special something which at the time seemed somewhat worthwhile to share. so here i am, with only a shred of self-consciousness for having no drama and nothing huge to say, just a little bit of me again, and my navel- and food-gazing ramblings. it's fun to be back.

in 2011 i went from being a drunk to being a sober. in 2012 -in the early part!- may i go from being plagued by that ex to being freed from his stinky and negative, judgmental presence. i'm sure i will. it may cost me some money, but it won't cost me my life, nosirree. i'll get that back. thank you for caring.

happy new year to one and all!

xo rudy

[Doggygirl]

just got my own bac!

rudyb, i am sending you some xtra special move-along-now vibes for your x. you are certainly handling all this with more dignity that i think i could muster!

2012 is going to be fabulous for all of us. you wait and see!

happy new year!

dg

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

SIXTEEN DOLLARS for that and you didn't return it? That dish sounds disgusting and the diners' behavior overly tolerant.

I know what you mean about knowing when to order what. Beware of any restaurant with a huge menu of many ethnic types.

NYE I went with a friend to a local place that had a combination of canapes, sushi and italian. Needless to say, it wasn't gourmet, except the beet salad was good but that's hard to screw up if you follow the recipe. They made the "flatbread pizza" on lavosh, an Armenian cracker sort of thing devoid of flavor and which gets really soggy in the middle and dry on the edges. Real flatbread is more difficult to make (and this restaurant bought their lavosh, I saw them carry the bag in), hence, the weirdly varied menu had forewarned me and I shouldn't have ordered it. But my friend wanted it so ... and she liked it alot! Of course, SHE didn't get spoiled by San Francisco for ten years and I did become a bit of a food snob. Makes me wonder what she eats at home...

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

thanks, dg, for your encouragement. dignity, well, that's a great thing for me to strive to maintain, thanks for thinking i've got it already. when i got home and found the pile in the living room, i was so annoyed that i went ahead and took the only two pictures of his son from the room (i took, printed, and framed them, afterall), but felt so guilty about it in the middle of the night that this morning i returned them after he had left. the poor guy is obviously suffering on a lot of levels, and if i add to that, it could just turn into an ugly meanie fest, which i surely do not want, least of all in my home. i'll be so relieved when this is all over.

bruun, it took a while for it to settle in just how awful that dish was. i wish i had said something then and there, but perhaps i was too alarmed. an email should do the trick, which i'll write once i've done everything else i should be doing. or not.

day two of the new year is lovely and relaxed; i'm not working and my son is at school. there's some gutter cleaning going on around here, i've already unpacked most of my bags, and soon i'll be boxing up videos for the salvation army and figuring out how to get rid of a monster-sized television.

hope everyone is feeling good about the new year...

[SlipperyPete]

just got my own bac!

Good to see you back on here, Rudy. I didn't want to have to fly over to NY to find out what was going on. And I believe that 2012 will be a banner year for you

[ifulovelife2]

just got my own bac!

Bruunhilde;1237204 wrote: SIXTEEN DOLLARS for that and you didn't return it? That dish sounds disgusting and the diners' behavior overly tolerant.

It does indeed sound disgusting. It makes me so mad that someone would eat such crap and not complain. Why oh why would someone do that? Were they some sort of goddammed foreigner with too much class to make a fuss and complain when being treated to dinner by a friend at a restaraunt co-owned by a chap they had met the previous night who was terrific fun although a tad mental? Just wonderin'.

[ifulovelife2]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1236780 wrote:

in 2011 i went from being a drunk to being a sober. in 2012 -in the early part!- may i go from being plagued by that ex to being freed from his stinky and negative, judgmental presence. i'm sure i will. it may cost me some money, but it won't cost me my life, nosirree. i'll get that back. thank you for caring.

Well, there is no question that it will all be over in 2012. It's just a matter of how many months it takes, how much stress it causes you, the impact on your loved ones and of course how much money, because that, after all, is what he cares about most.

The stinky, judgmental one's sinkhole of negativity needn't be tolerated for long. In the meantime remember you are a truly wonderful person and you WILL achieve all that you want. Stay strong. Stay positive.:l

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

Originally Posted by RudyB:

in 2011 i went from being a drunk to being a sober. in 2012 -in the early part!- may i go from being plagued by that ex to being freed from his stinky and negative, judgmental presence. i'm sure i will. it may cost me some money, but it won't cost me my life, nosirree. i'll get that back. thank you for caring.

Yes, yes, yes, Rudy! May you continue to choose to live from the truth of you, knowing that the Source of all is good and loving and will respond in kind to your good and loving attitude toward yourself and those around you. The Law of Attraction is powerful. Just like BAC, it works.

I'm still on the rooftops shouting for joy about your progress kicking AL out the door.

Big hug, Mom

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hi everybody! i hope all's going well in your respective places in the universe. thanks petey and mom and lifer for your encouragement.

i haven't been around much because we've recently moved into my sister's house five miles away. things were getting ugly in my own home, with confrontational conversations being instigated by the pric and tensions mounting high, so i did us all a favor and fled. (he took to singing and playing guitar late into the night, and criticizing my parenting in front of our son, for example.) unfortunately, there is no internet at my new digs until tuesday.

it truly amazes me that i am not drinking about all of this, which is a blessed thing in light of how ugly things have gotten in my life; it's quite possible that we're in for a mud-slinging contest involving character soiling under oath and such. eek. i'm so glad not to have the drink casting ugly shadows on my image, to say nothing of the anxiety it would create.

speaking of anxiety, yesterday i contacted dr levin for a 'script for xanax. (i've been trembling at times in terror at what is unfolding before me.) what a heck of a guy he is! i introduced myself and told him that he gave me the baclofen remedy in april which saved my life. he said, 'i'm delighted to hear that!' he readily wrote up the xanax script and narrated his every move while he addressed the envelope, finishing his telling with, 'it'll go in the mail today.' he said nothing of payment for that kindness. he gave me his cell number (!) and encouraged me to give him a call to talk, as it can be so helpful to sort things out with someone when you're going through a rough period. he is truly a caring, gentle man. we are so lucky to have him.

i'm off to the salvation army to find new clothes for my son, who is growing so speedily that his pants and shirts are all at once too short in the legs and sleeves (he seems to have gotten his father's apelike arms and extended stilts). god i pray that somehow i can protect him from this agony! he has witnessed way too much intense conflict lately, thanks to his father's lack of diplomacy (he is a VERY angry victim). this morning his father collected him for the weekend, which will be the first time in ages that he's been away from me for more than half a day. whereas i am relieved to get a break at last, i feel so sad that he'll be staying in a dirty, messy house (mine) thanks to his father's slovenly ways. my child deserves better than what he is getting. please tell me his life will improve soon...

i'm always happy to read any encouragement that any of you beautiful people leave, so that i can weep with the joy of being supported, instead of from the pain of this situation that at times leaves me despondent.

xo rudy

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

Hiya Rudy, I've been outta town and just got back late last night from a cold northern town which was warmer than my cold southwestern town. Sounds like you r going round in circles too, hopefully completing the circle back to your own home sans pric soon.

The Law of Attraction held sway for me this week, and I am cheering you on to keep it at top of mind today and tomorrow, enjoy these days off! If you can't clean your own house, do your sister a loving favor and clean hers, then you'll all be at peace and your karma will be swollen to the max for future good things to come your way!

Picture what you want in 2012 in great detail. I will do the same here for you. Lots of :l and :h to you and yours.

[LadyLush]

just got my own bac!

Rudy,

You know you have me if you need me. Anytime,any day!

You are worrying me.

Love all of you guys!



LL:l