just got my own bac!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

you know how male birds are prettier than females, with their more ornate plumage? i wonder whose song is prettier.

the birds here are so loud in the morning! THEY are my alarm clock. are they loud where you are? are they loud everywhere?

morning churning (and it is churning, cause i've said it before, more than once, i am sure)... the more i think about it, and boy do i think about it these days, the more i can rest on my laurels in my court case (but i won't). i pay all the huge and small bills (g's tuition example), i am finishing projects he didn't (kitchen example), and cleaning up messes he left for me (biodeisel factory example). while he drives all over the region for HOURS a day, and whirls and twirls and calls that a job. he built a building that he uses for almost six (!) hours a week, that doesn't even have and office or a toilet, and he wants two hundred grand -from me- for it. and it's on the best spot on the property. oh, this is gonna be fun!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

now i'm off to send a note to my lawyer.

thanks for reading!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

so, the new development in the anti-video plan is thus: g and i are keeping a log, as of today, july first, a new month and a perfect time to start, of the minutes he spends on games. each day we will aim for fewer minutes, until we reach our set goal (i'm thinking 30 min/day within a week). this is brilliant! he's really into it, and the special notebook from nana in which we log our progress. and there's all kinds of math: time telling, counting by tens, subtraction, days, months, etc. so far we have a whopping 60m minutes, and counting! which means, less time on the computer for me. which brings me to my next post...

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i've been wondering if i should take my incessant mind-business elsewhere, like some kind of blogspot. but i really don't want to. i like it here, and i love you folks who care enough about me to read what i'm going through. and your input is so valuable. i don't really want to open this up to just any old place that will not be as compassionate or have nearly the wisdom that i find in you. it's just that sometimes i feel self-conscious for sharing as much as i do here. but rarely do i regret it anymore.

so i think i have my answer. i guess my questions are: what do you think? and, is this appropriate for here? this discussion of all things i'm going through -ALL of them? even though they are not always obviously related to drinking and sobriety, everything i am experiencing now is underscored by my new and ever-so-miraculous and sudden lack of interest in alcohol. i think mine is a classic case of what happens when you put down the bottle -whatever alcohol it contains- and get on with life. and i think it's worth sharing, in all its multitudinous dimensions. someday al will figure less and less as an occupier in my mind (just look at ne and murph and bleep and so many others who are still here, giving and giving), in fact, it's virtually gone already. but i still have so much to say. so, the umbrella question is, do i say it here?

do tell. (even though i think i have my answer, found in part by writing this just now. wouldja look at that!)
thanks.

[taw]

just got my own bac!

Keep on posting Rudy!! It is your thread to do with what you want! And I hopefully will soon be looking for things to replace my drinking time!

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Ruuuuuuudy

Post what you want; as you say, it's all related to your bac/alcohol journey. It's a bit mental and all over the place, but haaaa, so am I.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

thanks folks. i guess i just wanted your blessing. and i got it, as expected. so i shall carry on...

murph, this one's for you...

so, rowing yesterday. the leader calls me helen by mistake. by now it's a joke, and i've asked him to do it more often, as i take it as a compliment to be mistaken for the queen of the greeks. to row the boat that launches a thousand ships. you get it. he said he'd only do it when i am bad, like when i row too deep, which so far is my biggest flaw on the shell. causes problems for the return. another woman marched right up to me, shook my hand, and said she's glad i'm not the only one who goes too deep, with unmistakable innuendo in her voice. ahh, another kindred spirit! (i've been connecting w a lot of those lately!) she said that i only get to be called helen when i go too deep. aww, the fun has started. and i row again in the morning. fourth time and it keeps getting better so this'll be good. i won't go too deep, but i won't respond if he doesn't call me helen, at least some of the time.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RuRu, how many in your boat and do you row or scull? Have you noticed any difference in your fitness level since you stopped the booze or is it too early to tell?

I reckon your instructor calls you Helen because you look like your face was smashed against 1000 hulls in order to launch them.:H

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

good one, murph. yeah, i am way less puffy since losin the booze. my face looks totally different, thinner and the bones show. tho i think it's saggin from the bac (not from boat-bashing). i have way more energy for exercise, except when the bac knocks me flat. and the rowing, well, i'm discovering muscles i didn't know i had. fuckin nice!

i've rowed in an 8 and a 4, starboard and port. never in a quad. today was a challenge, emotional as much as in terms of technique. the oarlock was poorly adjusted, so i had to quicken the feather AND concentrate on not going too deep. the latter challenge was cured when i realized i was bobbling with my return, so i improved much on that one. and once our fearless leader realized the oarlock was off, i was off the hook in terms of screwing everyone up. i caught a few crabs, but it turns out it wasn't my fault. phew. as you know, i can't handle any more knock-downs right now. ego feels weak. a few torques in my approach and i made a tricky situation work for me. next time (mon am) should be a breeze by comparison. looks like i'll be able to row three times a week. how great is that?! and i love that you know about this stuff. it's fun to talk about, obviously. (some day i will scull. that dude who took a dukie and then wanted sex 'his way' has one i can borrow. strange but true, we're still friends -but definitely NOT lovers. and he's the one w the boats to store in my bldg, which will pay my son's tuition, so i'm glad i/he didn't burn that bridge.)

today i rowed w a gal named helen, so now i see the man's confusion for what it is; too bad, i liked thinking of it as a compliment.

sweet day, everyone.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh, in case you're interested, catching a crab is when you fuck up your stroke, such that, among other things, you threaten to topple your team's boat. i'm sure we've all caught a crab or two in our days of drinking!

feathering is when you twist your oar, but then you must square it in time to get it back into the water and ready for a strong stroke (but not a deep one). if you don't, you might catch a crab.

these are all metaphors for what we must do in life. and how ever-more difficult it is to coordinate these steps if you're drunk, no?

love y'all beloveds!
ruby dee

[taw]

just got my own bac!

Glad you are bac to posting freely, Rudy! I would miss reading about your goings on! So cool you found something you like to do! I need a hobby! Other than drinking and reading! I will work on that this weekend!

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1140682 wrote: oh, in case you're interested, catching a crab is when you fuck up your stroke, such that, among other things, you threaten to topple your team's boat. i'm sure we've all caught a crab or two in our days of drinking!

Yep, you can also catch crabs when drinking. i.e. you get a lash on and end up with a right dorty lass 'cos your beer goggles went all awry. :H

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i once caught crabs, but i think they were from a vintage pair of corduroy whatchamacalits (those short pants that horsie people wear). i then gave them to a guy with the biggest knob i've ever known. i never slept with him again! but that was okay. he didn't feel right sleeping with a white woman anyway.

taw, whatcha got in mind for hobbies? c'mon, i'll help you brainstorm...

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

what the heck is this rating thing and who the heck rates these threads?!

[taw]

just got my own bac!

crabs from cords? where are you buying you clothes from?

No clue Rudy on hobbies....any ideas?