just got my own bac!

[SlipperyPete]

just got my own bac!


Nom nom nom!


Shutterfly wouldn't let me save the other pic, so you can either send it to me directly from your computer without using SF, or you can try posting it using the method I outlined. Either way's cool!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

thank pete! will send another as it shows the scale of my huge accomplishment.

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

The image shows up for me as a frog in an ice cube?

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

That must be a new bac se, bleep. It's obviously a money shot of Rudy.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

not quite, but in the next one you shall see my hand that is gorgeous again after a winter's injury. no more knobby knuckles (at least not detectible in the pic).

ya'll will be seeing less of me in the coming days as laptop has to go to the doctor. i'll be checkin in from the libe and sister's house, though.

sweet dreams.

xo rudy ru

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, hurry the hell up and get your laptop repaired goddammit!

We're missing you!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

this is a test

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

frig! i just wrote a long post that wouldn't go through! of all posts! i'm trying to get back into the swing of things here, and like with so many other life details these days, i've gotten derailed! argh. second test and then i'll try again to tell you all about things lately here in rubyworld.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh my GOD! what the fuck! it happened again! after TWO FUCKING tests, and another detailed post, the frickin thing tells me that i'm not logged on! what is with this fucking universe?! this computer. of course, it's a mac. must be that! i DO NOT have bad karma.

i'm gonna be brief. fuck. test three before third trial...

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

so, in a nutshell, which sucks because i had it all spelled out in detail moments ago...

the zoom is gone. read ne's post from this morn to see how i've been doing. it's exactly the same for me. garden grows, closets cleaned, now what. poison ivy taunts and laundry is in piles, but the siren sound is silent.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ale beckoned and scared me. turns out i missed a few times a final dose of bac (because, strangely, i have been sleeping through the nights and don't wake and take my final pre-midnight 20 mg). and other triggers were: mild depression, hunger, tired, son away, unstructured time. fuckin scary shit, man. i do not want to fall into that abyss again. so i won't go to 160 as i had thought i could. instead, i'll ramp it up to 200. hate reporting this, i really do. but, se's are just about gone. and ale will be again, too.

today i've got a mtg w the ex and our lawyers. wish me luck. i really need him to stop using his bldg on my property. i hate seeing him 4 times a week. his energy is truly very NEGATIVE. i need peace of mind, and he always disrupts that, if for shorter and shorter spells at a time; i'm getting better at not letting him penetrate my forcefield.

okay, folks, this is not the 'i'm back' post i wanted to make. but it shall have to do for now, lest i get bumped out of my log-in for a third time.

ergh! and triple fucking damn.

send me laptop-arriving vibes, please. i need to re-engage here, as i think it'll help keep me on track.

love y'all.
rudy b

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ftr, i never, not once, got drunk from the beer. even dumped bunches out several times. that felt good. but so did the taste, the bubbles filling my belly, and the warm feeling oozing from within. not cool. unlike ne, i did not override the compulsion. it overrode me. please just love me up and show your support; i can't take anything else at the mo. and it was so comforting to read: bruun and otter's testament that pms time is a dandy time for the beast to play; that is exactly when i had my biggest bender (about four bottles straight in a row). and bleep and others' testament that they, too, had some trips and trip-ups with booze post-indifference. we're all on pretty much the same journey, albeit with different roadsigns and detours, huh?

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

Rudy - You are in my thoughts and heart now and through this day. I see all going well in the meetings. You have an excellent attorney. I see you relaxing into that knowledge and coming out with a smile on your face. I love you and know you love yourself even with the recent trips on the path. It's all part of the the journey. Big hug, Mom

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just got my own bac!

Yep. You'll be just fine. I don't need the zoom to take care of business, sister, and neither do you. I'm still fierce, and so are you.

Booze'll fuck you up. :H No worries. It's a journey. We'll talk about that later. Gator. Hang in, Rubydee. You know you got this.
(You know Terminator 2 where what's her name really kicks ass? And the whole time she's not sure she's clear, but she knows. I channel her. I'd put her up there for you, but I'm in bio and need to pay attention. )
:l

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1153372 wrote: and bleep and others' testament that they, too, had some trips and trip-ups with booze post-indifference. we're all on pretty much the same journey, albeit with different roadsigns and detours, huh?

Spot on. It's rarely an easy journey from A to B; we all have obstacles we have to negotiate and we most (all?) have had drinking sessions post-indifference. I've had several and each and every time I can put it down to having dropped the bac dose. Now I'm on 325 and I'm sticking here for a while.

Go back to 200, stay there. As you say the SEs are dropping off and even on 200, you'll soon be SE free, well apart from possibly afternoon somnolence, 'cos that seems to be a universal feature of HDB.

Sending you positive laptop vibes.

Just keep repeating all your positives: great home, great family, great job, new friends, and the new healthier, fitter more beautiful you.

Stay cool Rudy, life will feel good again soon. :l