just got my own bac!
yep, ricky martin is hot. check out this song that he sings with la mari from chambao:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO1i0sx_VVQ[/video]]Ricky Martin Feat La mari Chambao Tu recuerdo - YouTube
but yep, he's gay.
it's pouring rain here. no planting fruit trees today! i had a great row this morning, first in a couple of weeks. i've missed it, and i thought the season was just about over, but it turns out we can go as long as we want into the cold and windy days, just not with the coached rows. that means that we'll have to lead ourselves (no official cox). learning curve will swing up again!
innuendo intended.
i couldn't sleep last night! well, i should've when i was tired, but i was unable to turn off my show (medium), and it was a little scary (girls alone getting killed; even without the gory details, totally scary). sometimes i am my own worst enemy! so i watched two and a half episodes, trying to get to a not-sccary one, and found myself at 1 am totally spooked. then, hallucinations. again with the brambly branches, but this time they were electric white. and flashes of colors. i don't think the se's (the hands, too: all twitchy and tingly; somnolence, not only post-insomnia) are alcohol related. i've only drank a few times in the past few weeks, and they are just as bad all the time. some would say go up, some would say down. i'm choosing the latter option, hoping the cravings don't return. if they do, it's back up i'll go.
speaking of cravings, the hypno cd the guy gave me is blank! just when i realized i needed it, i put it into the computer and it tells me it;s blank. so, sad to report, i have smoked a few times. it's odd, i don't have cravings like i would have without the hypno; it's not an urgent need, more of a whimsical 'i think that would be fun'. why i don't just ignore it is beyond me. hmm, maybe i'm a hedonist with a death wish? i have hope that i can get back on track, but until another cd comes in the mail from my guy, murph, i'd like to try yours. could you please emailyours to me? ergh.
here's something my son said a while back that is worth recounting: we were at the ex bf's house, and i was telling him what was so frustrating about relating to him. i was kind of upset but doing a good job of keeping my cool. g was in the other room, keeping himself busy and out of the way. when we left, i thanked him for letting me talk to ex bf without interruption. he said, 'you're welcome mommy. do you think he understood?' i think some day my little guy will make a fine boyfriend for a very lucky girl!
so, tomorrow, back to work again, for the last day without the students. i was so tired last week i got much of nothing done. tomorrow i'll have to hustle, but i am sure i'll be on top-ish of my game in time for the return of the troops. sadly, i have a really nasty kid in my native speakers class. he was in a beginner class last year, god knows why, and he gave me all kinds of attitude and problems. he once threw a marker at me. for fucks sake! i think i'll have to strangle the guidance counselor who put him iwth me again. instead, though, i'l have a nice chat with him before we get going, encouraging him to find his higher self so we can function together (not in those words of course). he'll be with me for the crucial first period of the day. for my next period, i have the LOUDEST, ugliest (inside and out) girl who was with me last year in my first period of the day. ergh. is someone testing me?! i will also have a chat with her. we had some positive moments toward the end of the year, and i'll refer to those when i encourage her to do the right thing every day for 43 minutes with me. i WILL NOT let these kids drive me to drink again!
and with that, i'll go find something else productive to do. (i gotta work on this guilt thing! it's really quite a plague. fortunately, i see my shrink -for the first time in a couple of years- next week.)
ciao for now, folks!
xo ru
yep, ricky martin is hot. check out this song that he sings with la mari from chambao:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WO1i0sx_VVQ[/video]]Ricky Martin Feat La mari Chambao Tu recuerdo - YouTube
but yep, he's gay.
it's pouring rain here. no planting fruit trees today! i had a great row this morning, first in a couple of weeks. i've missed it, and i thought the season was just about over, but it turns out we can go as long as we want into the cold and windy days, just not with the coached rows. that means that we'll have to lead ourselves (no official cox). learning curve will swing up again!
innuendo intended.
i couldn't sleep last night! well, i should've when i was tired, but i was unable to turn off my show (medium), and it was a little scary (girls alone getting killed; even without the gory details, totally scary). sometimes i am my own worst enemy! so i watched two and a half episodes, trying to get to a not-sccary one, and found myself at 1 am totally spooked. then, hallucinations. again with the brambly branches, but this time they were electric white. and flashes of colors. i don't think the se's (the hands, too: all twitchy and tingly; somnolence, not only post-insomnia) are alcohol related. i've only drank a few times in the past few weeks, and they are just as bad all the time. some would say go up, some would say down. i'm choosing the latter option, hoping the cravings don't return. if they do, it's back up i'll go.
speaking of cravings, the hypno cd the guy gave me is blank! just when i realized i needed it, i put it into the computer and it tells me it;s blank. so, sad to report, i have smoked a few times. it's odd, i don't have cravings like i would have without the hypno; it's not an urgent need, more of a whimsical 'i think that would be fun'. why i don't just ignore it is beyond me. hmm, maybe i'm a hedonist with a death wish? i have hope that i can get back on track, but until another cd comes in the mail from my guy, murph, i'd like to try yours. could you please emailyours to me? ergh.
here's something my son said a while back that is worth recounting: we were at the ex bf's house, and i was telling him what was so frustrating about relating to him. i was kind of upset but doing a good job of keeping my cool. g was in the other room, keeping himself busy and out of the way. when we left, i thanked him for letting me talk to ex bf without interruption. he said, 'you're welcome mommy. do you think he understood?' i think some day my little guy will make a fine boyfriend for a very lucky girl!
so, tomorrow, back to work again, for the last day without the students. i was so tired last week i got much of nothing done. tomorrow i'll have to hustle, but i am sure i'll be on top-ish of my game in time for the return of the troops. sadly, i have a really nasty kid in my native speakers class. he was in a beginner class last year, god knows why, and he gave me all kinds of attitude and problems. he once threw a marker at me. for fucks sake! i think i'll have to strangle the guidance counselor who put him iwth me again. instead, though, i'l have a nice chat with him before we get going, encouraging him to find his higher self so we can function together (not in those words of course). he'll be with me for the crucial first period of the day. for my next period, i have the LOUDEST, ugliest (inside and out) girl who was with me last year in my first period of the day. ergh. is someone testing me?! i will also have a chat with her. we had some positive moments toward the end of the year, and i'll refer to those when i encourage her to do the right thing every day for 43 minutes with me. i WILL NOT let these kids drive me to drink again!
and with that, i'll go find something else productive to do. (i gotta work on this guilt thing! it's really quite a plague. fortunately, i see my shrink -for the first time in a couple of years- next week.)
ciao for now, folks!
xo ru
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