just got my own bac!

[Dosage0]

just got my own bac!

Don't let it shake you Rudy... there are always people who really need help who are reading your thread. Just keep posting please, it really does help more than you might think.

[Dosage0]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1183844 wrote: hey thanks, rob. i appreciate your input. (but no thanks for keeping me up another five minutes with your thought-provoking response! i gotta get to bed so's i can deal with this doo doo tomorrow. i mean today.) since you have some relevant experience, how do you effectively deal with someone who appears to be a sociopath? how can you reach someone who apparently feels no remorse, or not much of anything outside of a detached bemusement at his own base antics? i'm not ruling out a chat with him as a possible wise approach, but i anticipate that i would encounter his cocky (somewhat brad pitt-ish) mug, deflecting any possibility of penetration.

do tell, i'm all ears. thanks mucho.
rudy

You cannot deal with anyone who is a true sociopath. But a true sociopath only makes up a very small percentage of the children you run into and I can guarantee as a teacher you can see it well before any advise I can give would show you. There are truly messed up people who are chemically screwed from birth. I don't run into many children who are screwed up, but I do babysit adults who need someone to tell them right from wrong. 99.9% of them will respond to a constructive argument. I think if you pulled him into a room and confronted the fact he said you had an STD out loud would more than likely make him feel a bit embarrassed. If he doesn't, then that is a clue he is majorly messed up in the head. After dealing with adults who act out, most of them just want a little bit of respect and a little bit of order. A teenager is really no different. A large majority of people will respect the fact that you called them on their bullshit and most will look at you slightly different then if you just allow it to continue. If I were you I would look him dead in the eyes and tell him exactly what he said to you in private to see his reaction. Most people, especially if he didn't have the guts to say it directly to you -- only in passing, will retract what they said. Let me know how it goes and keep your head up.

Rob

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ok, rob. you've given me what i have been waiting for, so thank you!!! i wasn't going to tell the story until someone finally stepped up to the plate and asked. thanks for your encouragement on all fronts.

so, i didn't get the chance to speak to the fellow in question. had i, i have no doubt that he wouldn't have batted an eye about what he said. i KNOW he is a sociopath.

when i got in to work yesterday, my lovely lesvi answered the phone to the principal's call. he told me to go see the police officer at the station at nine o'clock. wow. that was quite a place ! straight out of an episode of 'medium'. air conditioning blasting on highest possible, refrigerator conditions. dirty, cramped, posters falling off the wall, a certificate of thanks from the flag-raising ceremony people to the police, two tacks missing, dusty. an industrial-sized bottle of orange hand-washer by the sink. this is a POOR community!

the sociopath (which the police are also sure he is) had somehow the night before landed himself in the holding cell. they said he had started to calm down when i got there (not because of my presence, to be sure). they had called me in to sign the report on his behavior in my classroom. just to add to the file. (funny, they had done their own embellishing, and changed punctuation which changed the meaning of the 'exchange'. you know i couldn't stand for that latter nonsense, so i corrected it, along with the embellishments. we don't need any hyperbole to nail this guy.) i saw several members of his family listed on the rap sheet for crimes of their own design. this kid has NO chance!

so there you have it. the dude is now being coddled by the hands of The Man. let's hope they'll hold him a far distance from doing any more harm to his peers or society at large.

thank you so much, dose, for asking.

rudy

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

yesterday i was studying the date and thinking to myself, 'now i know it's someone's birthday, but whose?'

just now my son told me that yesterday was his dad's birthday and he gave him this car: a hot wheels number from the 70's that his dad painted black with white stripes when he was a kid.

funny, i just happened to have sent his dad an email yesterday in which i told him that i had a very good impression of his new girfriend. that she seems mature and grounded, and comfortable in herself, and that i was glad he found someone more his speed. he deserves to be happy, i said.

i got no response for that, but it's cool. she'll be in later to take a shower. wild stuff!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i'm writing to report a firearms incident. i had finally gotten out the $1,500 vacum cleaner that didn't save my marriage, and i was nearing the end of my long-overdue purging of dust and debris, when a fraction of a second too late i saw a black lego gun disappear into the hose of my would-be savior. ahh! my son needs that! i turned off the machine, opened it up, and took out the bag. i shook it over the garbage, but a little black plastic thing did not tumble out. alas, i thought. but he'll never know. (but that's just it; he can become very specific about the things he needs in order to unfold his plan.) so, after that parenthetical amendment, it dawned on me that i don't even like guns, and i'd rather he not play with them at all. time to reassemble the sucker and finish my work! gun problem solved. but a new one awaited: the plastic shut latch to the bag enclosure was disengaged, such that i had to hunt down a philips screwdriver, unscrew the frame, realign said latch, and reattach the whole shebang. which i did, in under 7 minutes. who needs a man around?! (well, actually, i haven't been able to figure out the tub drain, which is stuck shut. pretty gross after even one shower.)

spiffily, i finished almost two thirds of the job of thoroughly cleaning my modest upstairs (two small rooms and a bathroom in my 1,100 sq ft cape from 1939, with real italian-made plaster walls). i even rolled up the futons and shook out all the blankets, which required first taking the screen out of my brand new window that opens and closes with ease.

my son, most of this time, has been playing with his 12 yr old buddy, my other savior. now, i shall go for a nice strong run with my boyfriend danI macaco. it has been a fine start to a beautiful day in the autumn of the hudson valley.

wishing one and all equal satisfaction.

xo ru

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

'savior' doesn't look right without the 'u'. saviour. saviour. there. i feel better now.

god i miss murph already. what a great loss to this community.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i don't remember when exactly i posted it, so rather than comb back and edit, i'll let you all know here because i'm sure you were puzzled when you read it: alfie cohen did not write 'punished by reward', it was alfie kohn. a good read either way.

i know we all could relate to a bunch of what he has to say. (which, by the way, is all about how once we start rewarding -paying, giving grades, proferring treats, bribing- for a desired behavior (i mean behaviour), the intrinsic reward for doing whatever particular thing gets lost, or is diminished in some way.) the payoff inherent in doing something for its own merits should be enough, in an ideal world.

so, to what degree can we consciously live in, indeed create, an ideal world?

[Dosage0]

just got my own bac!

Haha... RudyB you're thread got voted down the same time mine did. I wonder who might have done that?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh my god, dose! that's hilarious! this time around (it happened once before) i am cracking up. wow. cool! we're being ransacked! love it! i feel so so so important, in a way that i didn't before.

guess i'd better tone down all my cursin' and watch those unsavory jokes i make. sheesh. i know, i know, i'm a very bad influence here on the boards. guess i'd better reawaken that inner judge to keep me in line.

thanks for the heads up, comrade.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

...i'm still laughing.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

somehow it feels somewhat urgent to report that i think my nighttime hallucinations come from the fact that i tend to take 40 - 60 mg right before going to sleep. that puts me into a kind of trance, like super electric-tired, such that my mind blinks on and off, or so it seems. i love it. i realize that i do it on purpose: 'hey, whoops, once again i've 'forgotten' to take enough bac during the day and now must load up, now that it's bedtime and nothing else is gonna get me high.' the trippy subsequent pre-sleep languid moments are something that i look forward to every single day. am i on a new drug-addicted kick? naysayers would say so. but i think not. i remember every single thing that i need to remember. i am never, ever drunk. i feel really good, day after day. aww, who cares how you call it or who might judge it. i'm certainly not concerned.

i love my life now. i am deeply happy. and those strings on the ceiling dancing about in vivid colors, well they have turned to white vinyl-covered half-inch wires, and i don't mind. not one bit. nana chased away the gopher that was probably a squirrel, and i am sleeping like a log, all comfy and relaxing into the earth as the moments tick by and the dew sinks in.

the goose hangs high.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh hey again everybody. guess i'm really not interested in going to bed.

i've been meaning to mention, watch out for amazon. i make this alarming statement because once i told pete that i'd send him a copy of 'healing without freud or prozac', my then most excitingest book. when i finally got around to ordering it, it had gone up from $13 to $26, just for the regular old paperback edition. since i had delayed in having it sent to him, and since i didn't know better, i went ahead and ordered two copies, the second because my girlfriend from oregon accidentally thought i was giving her the book when i was raving about it to her. come to find out a while later, probably when i was tracking the order because it was taking so long to arrive, the book went down to $13 again.

so, good people, what the heckerdoodles is that about? is it some kind of weird survey: 'how much money will fulanita spend for this book on a given day?'

anyway pete et al., said book, my copy, sat on the wood stove cause i wanted to be sure to remember to order one of those awesome slow-light-inducing alarms apendixed in the back of the book so i don't get startled awake every morning in the dead of winter when it's still pitch black at 6:20 am (aren't i lucky i get to get up so late this year?!), when the hurricane hit. my roof started leaking in two places, one above the wood stove 'cause the flashing was done all fucked-upedly, which led to water leaking down in long, steady drips onto my pretty bright blue book for which i had paid so dearly. now, i still have the bookmark holding the place where i'll find the information about how to order that alarm, but it sits water-stained (it's a bright illustration done by my son), undisturbed, and ever-damp, tucked into the warbled and swollen pages of said blue volume.

anyway, pete, this is my wending way to saying that i hope you delve into the richness of that book. keep us posted on what you're getting out of it.

that reminds me, i have acupuncture at 11:30 tomorrow. thrumm thrumm go my channels.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i keep flashing back onto that moment on murph's thread when, amidst all the chaotic drama, loOp chimed in to point out that i had misspelled 'hypocrite'. what a lovely moment of levity that was a poignant reminder of why we are all here.

for the record, lest anyone think i'm dumb 'cause i can't spell, i was thinking of the 'hyppocratic oath', a beautiful pledge that we all would be kind to take very seriously here in this healing venue that mwo provides.

[Lo0p]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1185034 wrote: 'hyppocratic oath'

*hippocratic :H

...still luv you. Maybe even more now... :h

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh this just gets better and better! my laughing is coming out of my nose in pretty little gusts.