just got my own bac!

[Dosage0]

just got my own bac!

I don't think we ever outgrow potty talk. poop.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i'm fond of 'shit' myself.

red, yes, it's a food co-op(erative; i get lazy w the hyphen; my pinky can never find it witout looking), where for a small fee you get a very small discount at the register. when i lived in brooklyn, i used to get food for dirt cheap. lots of very very good food. every member has to work a shift every month. costs stay down. huge place, huge membership. when i first moved upstate, i used to drive the two hours back to bklyn just to stock up on provisions at a very reasonable price. that was before gas was so expensive. the co-op here is small and dusty and very pricey. but they're good for supplements and organics in a pinch.

and yes, we sorta married the same guy. they came from the same prototype anyway. but i REFUSE to agree with people who say 'all men are alike'! i mean, look at the guys here, right?! they may be raging alkies or potheads, but i bet they don't ever stuff the dishtowels askew on the rack, or leave coffed cups on the sideboard with no coaster. don't correct me if i'm wrong.

(i also refuse to agree with those who say things like: 'it's hard to find a good man,' or, 'there's something majorly wrong with each one of them.' now that is just NOT helpful. i don't even let it into my ears. i plug them with my pointers and bellow: 'la la la la la la i'm not listening!' THAT is helpful!)

'kay, i'm off to watch my spooky show. my dreams have gotten boring again.

love y'all.
ru

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh god, bruun, i just got why you said melons. i can be so slllow! um, a good comeback...

once they see me, they'll be in the produce section no more. my melons are tasty and sweet.

...ergh. flat as a pancake (the joke, not my melons!). hey, the world needs gravediggers, too. but one less now, as i've just dug my own.

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

Hey Rudy! I was catching up on your thread this morning before work, and I just wanted to say that your writing is a joy to read. Even (especially? :H) the poop talk. I think Dose is right, we never outgrow it! I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't have a friend that they're so close to that they can talk about their poop issues with them. Everyone needs one of those!

I'm sorry your ex is such a cunt (that's right, I didn't censor it!). But I agree with you, not all men are alike, far from it!. Although, don't we ALL have something wrong with us? Nobody's perfect. One thing I've come to my own conclusion about is not being able to find everything I need in one person. So many times I've talked to my best friend about taking this attribute from this ex, and another attribute from that ex, etc. to eventually end up creating someone who is perfect for me. It's like winning the lottery - it ain't never gonna happen, but it sure is nice to think about!

RudyB;1188474 wrote:
speaking of fuck, i need a man! someone whose hands work on more than cars.

Maybe it's the HDB lately, but I'm right there with you! I find myself having naughty daydreams so often lately that sometimes it becomes really difficult to get any work done!

Another thing I'm right there with you on - the bac somnolence and lack of sleep. I am running such a sleep deficit lately that I am a veritable zombie during the day. Lately the only thing that's been getting me through the day is Bronkaid - Buy bronkaid now at drugstore.com online. You can buy it behind the pharmacy counter at any Walgreens or CVS. It's got ephedrine sulfate in it, which gives a very similar feeling to ephedra (which I miss so very much since it was banned). You just have to show your ID when you buy it. They need to make sure that you're not buying enough of it to make meth out of!
I've been on 180mgs for 5 days (actually just bumped up to 200mgs today, which is the first time I've ever been this high). I really haven't been dealing with any cravings, it's the nightly habit that I've been unable to break for so long. Tonight was my 3rd AF night in a row. And while it was easy, I know I still would've enjoyed a beer or a cocktail. I want to get back to being so indifferent that not only do I not enjoy alcohol, but it actually seems rather revolting to me. That hasn't happened in a long time now.
Well, my ephedrine is wearing off and my xanax is kicking in (combine both of those with a bacolotonic state and I'm well on my way to feeling rather fucked up), so it's time to wrap up and start winding down. Hopefully I'll actually get some sleep tonight.

[GingerDust]

just got my own bac!

It's nice to know about the Bronkaid. They have $2 off printable coupon for it.

Bronkaid

I hope you sleep too. Me too.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, it's called OLIVE LEAF EXTRACT! Read the link I provided for you, pretty please. It's really interesting. A great supp, if your not allergic. :H

What's your plan on the boozing situation? Are you going to go up more? Add nal? Stay where you're at?

I've taken bronkaid early on, Is, to combat the somnolence. I then took it recently for wheezing. Ru, that's what's marketed for. It's a bronchodilator.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

Hi Ginger! :welcome:

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

aw, geez, red, for my word obsessiveness, sometimes i can't read. i WILL read that link! and how cool: a broncho dialator that'll help me sleep. that'll be good for my asthma! i wonder if bronkaid is similar to benadryl? sometimes i use that to help with sleep.

and yes, HI GINGER! welcome! so glad to have you here!

thanks isolde for the very important compliment. and yes about making composites of men! i, too, realize that i can't have every last thing in one person. but i also don't go around thinking, 'you can't have it all.' that's counter productive to say the least. i'll imagine it all, and expect the essentials. the ex is a dick-wad, but at least we're not together, i was smart enough to dump him early, and at the very most important, he's a very good father and gave good genes to our son.

i woke with a start after three am after having imagined (dreamed?) someone started a new thread well it's a new mwo now ...let's do things in a new way! (read, it's a new world order.) i had to get up and check. was wide awake at that point anyway. but now i'll go lie back down and try for some more shut-eye.

hope you lassies (and lads) on this side of the pond are sleeping well.

xo ru

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

red, about the drinking, i'm planning on keeping a closer eye on it and managing the cravings better. eating at strategic times helps tremendously. i'll stay at 180 for now, and hope for the best. i'm also thinking that my hypno guy can sneak in a few lines about the booze. he's cool like that, so he will. i'll be seeing him again within a couple of weeks, and that will be my start date as a non-smoker, once again. will keep you posted.

yesterday i had an easy-breezy al-free day. give thanks. and thank you for asking.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just got my own bac!

Hiya, Ru. Somewhere around here you mentioned continuing to drink... I drank after indifference. I wasn't really comfortable with it, either. I think it was for about 6 weeks? It was completely different than any of the patterns I'd had before, though. I'd have one or two when Ed got home from work. If that! I also got drunk once in March, Apr, and May, too I think.
It bothered me a great deal so I committed to 30 days of abstinence, which was of course effortless. That was June. Since then it hasn't been an issue--except once when I took 20mg (!!!) instead of 120mg.
Drinking doesn't make me feel any of the old feelings anymore. I can't drink enough to get drunk (and why would I want to? Ugh.) and I'm out of sorts for a day or two after. Even after just a glass of wine! I don't think about it, finally. So I don't drink. It's very cool.

The somnolence? That sucks but it really does go away. (ftr, 180mg was worse for me in terms of SEs than any other random number. Several times. Weird but true.)
I took a lesson from Isolde and started to think of it as more fluid than set in stone--uncomfortable? Go up a bit. Or down a bit. I'm still a firm believer in changing things up slowly and with forethought.
Hang in!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hi ne! so nice to hear from you!!!! thanks for your input. so weird about the doses, huh?! maybe i should go up to 200...

sticking with themes here, this morning my son woke me up (yes, halelujah, i did get back to sleep!) twenty minutes too early because he had to go poop. i reminded him that he didn't need me to do that. the house was making its old-house-waking-up noises and he was scared, so eventually i went with him. but now i hate poop!

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1189109 wrote: and how cool: a broncho dialator that'll help me sleep. that'll be good for my asthma! i wonder if bronkaid is similar to benadryl? sometimes i use that to help with sleep.

NO! No no no. Bronkaid has the OPPOSITE effect - it will wake you UP! If you are fighting daytime somnolence (either due to bac or due to not getting enough sleep because of the bac - ok, either way, due to bac! :H), Bronkaid will give you energy and mental focus. It also tends to put me in a really great mood, same way ephedra used to do. Lately I've been taking it a couple of times a week, so the effects only last for a few hours. If I don't take it for awhile, it lasts longer.

Just didn't want you to end up buying this stuff and taking it before you went to bed! I'd hear you cursing my name all the way down here!! :H

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

Ne/Neva Eva;1189138 wrote:
I took a lesson from Isolde and started to think of it as more fluid than set in stone--uncomfortable? Go up a bit. Or down a bit. I'm still a firm believer in changing things up slowly and with forethought.

:l

Thanks for the shout out! Nice to see you back again after your break. You were gone at the same time that I came back after my (rather long) break. It's good to see your presence again.

[SlipperyPete]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, what do you plan on doing for exercise in the winter? Are you gonna keep rowing? I was meeting up with a friend in the summer to play tennis, but we can't really do that now, so I'm looking for suggestions for something more wintery. Any ideas?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh god, pete! you forgot something: I AM GONNA RIDE THE MOUNTAIN ON A SNOWBOARD! it is so much fucking FUN!!! just took it up last year, thanks to my son's interest, and it was really hard at first. spent the first three days falling, but then, lookout! i was hooked. you can dance and spin and swirl and, yes, twirl. you can do flips someday. you can listen to music while you bend your knees and sway through the snow. it doesn't have to be expensive. my mt (hunter) had a deal of 3days of group lessons, rentals, and lift tickets for $109 bucks. i bet you'd find something similar your way. i highly recommend it!

god, i've got noting more to say. but i'm glad you asked!