just got my own bac!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

golly, mom, you and your unconditional love!

[SlipperyPete]

just got my own bac!

Red,

I just want you to know that I noticed your spelling mistake.

Love,

Pete

[SlipperyPete]

just got my own bac!

I just got back from the gym and did dead lifts there for the first time. They absolutely destroyed my lower back, but in a good way. Made me think of you out on the lake, working your back muscles.

You're absolutely right about snowboarding being much easier than skiing. The thing with snowboarding is that everyone falls down a bunch their first 3 times, but then by their fourth, they can win an Olympic gold medal. This holds true for everyone.

Sounds like a great workout with your boy. I'll try it later tonight with a sack of potatoes. For the pictures, are you trying to link us directly to your email? I could see if I still have that email I sent you a few months ago with instructions on how to post pics.

Glad the IPA isn't sounding appealing, and I think Murphy's right about dropping down too quickly. Sounds like everything's going swimmingly over there :l

[ifulovelife2]

just got my own bac!

redhead77;1194119 wrote: I just wrote about Adderall, how much high school sucked (and how much weed I smoked in the end), and about the German-Italian lover I had in my youth.

I mis-read that last word and I thought it said "mouth". My mistake, carry on. Dreadfully sorry.:blush:

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

SlipperyPete;1195867 wrote: I just got back from the gym and did dead lifts there for the first time. They absolutely destroyed my lower back, but in a good way. Made me think of you out on the lake, working your back muscles.

I :h deadlifts!! It's a toss up between them and squats as to which is my favorite. I just can't decide.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hiya life lover, i am one 2! welcome!

pete, rowing makes my back feel so good and strong, from the tops of my shoulders all the way down to my butt. and yes, that is exactly what snowboarding was for me: falling down for 2 and 1/2 days, then gliding about like an old-timer.

no worries about the photo, my advisor counseled me well and i think i'll be getting it up in jig time. next i'll have to buy a new camera (my fancy one from dad just broke, just like the fancy laptop he gave me -both castoffs that he barely used, being given away because he was upgrading to the next best model that he won't use either). and i'll have to find the thinger to take pics off my phone. both actions will happen so i can generate some new evidence to share with you and with posterity (same thing).

for more about child-assisted workouts, read below. but be forewarned: it's a longie. here's a soothing rhythm (but only sometimes soothing vocals) to read by:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc99xZACDos&feature=related[/video]]ORISHAS - Desaparecidos - YouTube

the title means 'disappeared.'

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

(typed in word so you'll see some surprising capitals.)

Well today started out pretty weirdly. All was jolly in my Native Speakers class. We had a good time and it was a fine start to the day. Then, garlic mashed potatoes for my 9 am lunch. At the last minute I remembered the smell they probably left. Two days ago I had strong-garlic broccoli soup and I forgot to air out the classroom! People hollered that it reeked of garbage. I wasn’t going to repeat that mistake! So I quickly opened the windows and sprayed Jovan Musk through the room, not thinking that, as a perfume, this would go into the atmosphere thick. Students marched in and then right back out. They collapsed on the hallway floor. They refused to return. Those who never left sat by the wide-open window and gasped-in the 50 degree air. It took a while to settle them down. Then, once they had settled just enough, some atrocities were committed -such as being hostile and rude to la seNora- and she flipped her wig. What really set me off was when the kid I have to ask to change seats every single day told me to leave his dad alone because, in his dad’s words, he ‘didn’t want to deal with any more of my shit.’

My chin dipped down but not my nose, and moments later the next reliable asked a really stupid question. The word was ‘el bebE.’ ‘Is this the kind of baby that you hold?’ ‘No!’ I retorted. ‘It’s the kind that you drag around with a rope that you’ve tied around its neck.’ Where those words came from, only the good Lord knows. I’m sure it’s all over Facebook by now. And I am as hopeful as I am sure that the principal will understand when he finds out. (I think he will, because he knows these kids just as well as I do, and is familiar with what they can drive you to do and say.)

When the scene first got ugly in my fetid classroom, the flash of rage in me came pre-programmed with the notion to guzzle and numb. ‘I’m gonna drink about this!’ said something in my head. ‘Yeah, whatever,’ was the new Me’s response. The thing in my head quieted, but it did pipe in here and there through the rest of the day. Every time it visited, I brushed it aside like that fall-time fly that hummed around my corner of the room, trying to land on my cheek, my nose.

Anyway, the day got better in giant steps, and before I knew it I was out the door, sucking on my first organic American Spirit in several hours, feeling grateful for a lucrative and mostly easy job, and looking forward to the lovely evening ahead.

On the drive home, the voice returned quite a bit less tentatively. It kept saying, ‘c’mon, don’t you think it would feel good to get a little bit drunk? You’ve had a stirring day. Get a little high, it’ll feel good!’ But it could not convince me, and that still feels great.

I had a sanguine time with my neighbor gal, while our boys rustled about with legos. Beverages of the night: water with cider vinegar and kombucha, alongside a few gentle tokes of something fancy, but nothing more. And nothing was missing. A fine comedy we had making dinner, but it tasted delicous to the children! (i've lost my evening appetite for good, it seems.)

After our friends left, my son and I headed upstairs, but I had to turn back to get something I had forgotten. ‘What mommy, your medicine?’ ‘Yup.’ ‘What is that medicine for?’ I have been wondering when that question would happen. And there it was. And there, just after it, was the perfect inane distraction to save the day. Fleetingly I was tempted to say something like, ‘It helps mommy not drink too much beer.’ But that’s way too much for now. (Help me out, though, what do I say to a five year old boy, without lying?)

We played ‘Fire Horse’ from last night for a while, along with doing a whole bunch of new ‘exercises,’ like forward rolls with the right beginning (chin tucked, back of the lower neck making first contact with the bed). I modified something I described last night and found a whole new level of exercise in the revised version. This new sport my son and I do together will more than make up for the lack of rowing in the winter in its gentle, whole body, amazing-strengthening workout-itude. And he's very excited to do it at his fifth birthday party, which will be here next saturday. (I'll be sure to have it videotaped, and to get identity-obscuring stills!) I’ll either find something to replace this exercise with by the time g is too heavy for it (probably), or I’ll find a nice man with a 3 year old who can grow into the role just in time (maybe). Either way is fine.

When it was time to settle down and sink down into some yogurt (rather, it into his mouth), g pretended to fall asleep, head draped dramatically back against the pillows, yogurt in lap, spoon slightly aloft. The only way I got him to wake up was by saying, ‘Ok, well, he’s asleep now, so I guess I’ll go and write…’ He knew that was serious business, so he jolted ‘awake.’ This game played for a few respectable rounds.

As you would imagine, in these five hours there were many, many moments of relish for my sobriety. How fortunate we are that I did not continue to drink! Images of me drunk, as the alternative I could have chosen, were presented to me by the gratitude fairies at considerate intervals, as if to remind me of how astonishing life has gotten.

And, naturally, my feelings spiraled out to all mothers in the world who still struggle to shake free of the beast, and to their children who suffer right along with them. There is about to be a colossal shift in how things are done in recovery, saving the innocents of the world mountains of tragedy. (Right?!) It can’t come soon enough! Meanwhile, until everybody has healed (and beyond), I’m’a keep feeling my gratitude and putting it to essential use as rocket fuel for transporting my great good unction to others. I know it will help.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

ifulovelife2;1196069 wrote: I mis-read that last word and I thought it said "mouth". My mistake, carry on. Dreadfully sorry.:blush:

Nah, don't worry about it. I wouldn't write that here, anyway. Even if it were true. :H

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

(typed in word so you'll see some surprising capitals.)

Well today started out pretty weirdly. All was jolly in my Native Speakers class. We had a good time and it was a fine start to the day. Then, garlic mashed potatoes for my 9 am lunch. At the last minute I remembered the smell they probably left. Two days ago I had garlic-strong broccoli soup and I forgot to air out the classroom before the students arrived! People hollered that it reeked of garbage. I wasn’t going to repeat that mistake! So I quickly opened the windows and sprayed Jovan Musk through the room, not thinking that, as a perfume, this would go into the atmosphere thick. Students marched in and then right back out. They collapsed on the hallway floor. They refused to return. Those who never left sat by the wide-open window and gasped-in the 50 degree air. It took a while to settle them down. Then, once they had settled just enough, some atrocities were committed -such as being hostile and rude to la seNora- and she flipped her wig. What really set me off was when the kid I have to ask to change seats every single day told me to leave his dad alone because, in his dad’s words, he ‘didn’t want to deal with any more of my shit.’

My chin dipped down but not my nose, and moments later the next reliable asked a really stupid question. The word was ‘el bebE.’ ‘Is this the kind of baby that you hold?’ ‘No!’ I retorted. ‘It’s the kind that you drag around with a rope that you’ve tied around its neck.’ Where those words came from, only the good Lord knows. I’m sure it’s all over Facebook by now. And I am as hopeful as I am sure that the principal will understand when he finds out. (I think he will, because he knows these kids just as well as I do, and is familiar with what they can drive you to do and say.)

When the scene first got ugly in my fetid classroom, the flash of rage in me came pre-programmed with the notion to guzzle and numb. ‘I’m gonna drink about this!’ said something in my head. ‘Yeah, whatever,’ was the new Me’s response. The thing in my head quieted, but it did pipe in here and there through the rest of the day. Every time it visited, I brushed it aside like that fall-time fly that hummed around my corner of the room, trying to land on my cheek, my nose.

Anyway, the day got better in giant steps, and before I knew it I was out the door, sucking on my first organic American Spirit in several hours, feeling grateful for a lucrative and mostly easy job, and looking forward to the lovely evening ahead.

On the drive home, the voice returned quite a bit less tentatively. It kept saying, ‘c’mon, don’t you think it would feel good to get a little bit drunk? You’ve had a stirring day. Get a little high, it’ll feel good!’ But it could not convince me, and that still feels great.

I had a sanguine time with my neighbor gal, while our boys rustled about with legos. Beverages of the night: water with cider vinegar and kombucha, alongside a few gentle tokes of a special plant with an invented name, but nothing more. And nothing was missing. A fine comedy we had making dinner, but it tasted delicous to the children! (i've lost my evening appetite for good, it seems.)

After our friends left, my son and I headed upstairs, but I had to turn back to get something I had forgotten. ‘What mommy, your medicine?’ ‘Yup.’ ‘What is that medicine for?’ I have been wondering when that question would happen. And there it was. And there, just after it, was the perfect inane distraction to save the day. Fleetingly I was tempted to say something like, ‘It helps mommy not drink too much beer.’ But that’s way too much for now. (Help me out, though, what do I say to a five year old boy, without lying?)

We played ‘Fire Horse’ from last night for a while, along with doing a whole bunch of new ‘exercises,’ like forward rolls with the right beginning (chin tucked, back of the lower neck making first contact with the bed). I modified something I described last night and found a whole new level of exercise in the revised version. This new sport my son and I do together will more than make up for the lack of rowing in the winter in its gentle, whole body, amazing-strengthening workout-itude. And he's very excited to do it at his fifth birthday party, which will be here next saturday. (I'll be sure to have it videotaped, and to get identity-obscuring stills!) I’ll either find something to replace this exercise with by the time g is too heavy for it (probably), or I’ll find a nice man with a 3 year old who can grow into the role just in time (maybe). Either way is fine.

When it was time to settle down and sink down into some yogurt (rather, it into his mouth), g pretended to fall asleep, head draped dramatically back against the pillows, yogurt in lap, spoon slightly aloft. The only way I got him to wake up was by saying, ‘Ok, well, he’s asleep now, so I guess I’ll go and write…’ He knew that was serious business, so he jolted ‘awake.’ This game played for a few respectable rounds.

As you would imagine, in these five hours there were many, many moments of relish for my sobriety. How fortunate we are that I did not continue to drink! Images of me drunk, as the alternative I could have chosen, were presented to me by the gratitude fairies at considerate intervals, as if to remind me of how astonishing life has gotten.

And, naturally, my feelings spiraled out to all mothers in the world who still struggle to shake free of the beast, and to their children who suffer right along with them. There is about to be a colossal shift in how things are done in recovery, saving the innocents of the world mountains of tragedy. (Right?!) It can’t come soon enough! Meanwhile, until everybody has healed (and beyond), I’m’a keep feeling my gratitude and putting it to essential use as rocket fuel for transporting my great good unction to others. I know it will help.

[ifulovelife2]

just got my own bac!

Wow, that was beautiful; you write divinely.

Your students sound like horrors. Have you tried thrashing them? Is that allowed these days? Or perhaps it would be better to thrash their parents.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

I'm glad this post is still here. I know, last night I breezed over it, I was too tired to give it the thoughtful response it deserved. You had a rough day Ru! I wouldn't have blamed you if you felt like you needed some drinks when you got home. BUT YOU DIDN'T DRINK!!!! YIPPEE! The power of the pills. It's incredible, isn't it?

Oy, the michigas in your classroom today. You couldn't help it. You wanted to eat what you like (I luv garlic mashed pots), and you tried to take care of it. Maybe, pick up a bottle of something a little more neutral, if you ever need to spray something in your classroom again. I know Bath and Body Works makes some delicious sprays. Some your students may even like (or wear ). I'll bet you have to be careful with sprays, altogether. Are some of the students asthmatics? Either way, I know about smells. I wear perfume to work, it's called Angel or Demon. I'm waiting for the day someone complains about it. We aren't really supposed to wear perfume to work, but I don't get out much lately, and I just love the scent. I never grow immune to it (others like it, too). And then, I always have to be mindful of what I've eaten at lunch. Can you imagine feeling sick like you might die (or maybe you're trying), and smelling a nurse's garlic or onion breath? You might try to go to the light, afterall.

The exercises sound like fun. It's good you're starting G early, teaching him the importance of exercise. And doing it in such a fun manner. Exercise doesn't have to be a chore. I don't think. and :H. The question of what to tell him in regard to your "medicine". I wish I had an insightful answer for you. I've been trying to come up with one. My 9 year old was questioning me some months ago about why I take all these pills. I wanted to say, don't worry I'm not sick (but I guess I am, I do have a chronic illness called alcoholism), and then I thought I would say, these pills help Mommy be the best person she can be (but then I thought, well, people who are addicted to norco might say that). Forever over thinking, I am. I have to remember, these are just kids, not mini adults (sometimes I wonder about my 9 year old, he is much wiser than a 9 year old should be.) But I still haven't come up with an answer that I consider suitable. I'll let you know when I do (my version of suitable, anyway). I hope you'll do the same for me. :l In the meantime, it seems they have let it go. I guess they figure I'm healthy and happy taking these pills, so it doesn't matter what they're for.

What are your plans for the weekend?

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1196574 wrote:
As you would imagine, in these five hours there were many, many moments of relish for my sobriety. How fortunate we are that I did not continue to drink! Images of me drunk, as the alternative I could have chosen, were presented to me by the gratitude fairies at considerate intervals, as if to remind me of how astonishing life has gotten.

Absolutely beautiful and inspiring post, Roo. But the above really spoke to me, especially the part about the gratitude fairies. Reading your post has given a wonderful start to my Saturday. :l

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hello, life lover! glad you came back! thank you for the compliment; it is music to my ears as beautiful as orishas.

i say we thrash the parents. no, wait, i mean let's thrash the powers that be who allow the dreadful imbalances to continue unchecked -indeed, who perpetuate them- such that we have a majority of people living well below their potential, due to lack of means. things could be going so much better for so many.

red, i know, i know, it's crazy that i did that spraying thing! (not that you were lecturing me about the asthma factor, but i did think of that after the fact.) i panicked, and went a little nuts. last year i made the same kinda mistakes - once i ate hotdogs and something else smelly-savory- right before class, and there were hollers about it all down the hall. my solution: guess i'll have to trudge to the teacher's room to eat what i like to eat. it's really not bad in there, it's big and sunny. if i eat in my room, it'll have to be un-stinky, and i'll open the windows well in advance of the return of the troops. (i usually remember to do that!)

i can't believe it, i LOVE angel! my favorite now is zen, by shiseido, but it's kinda summery. was just looking for my angel; it's perfect for winter.

about the meds. once i was writing, and g asked me why i was writing so much, and i explained that i was talking to people about how not to drink too much beer. i'll extrapolate carefully from that and figure out how to explain the pills, someday...

oop, he's awake. bye for now!

thanks so much for your responses!!! HI ISOLDE!!!

xo rudy

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i know i've posted this before, but i just can't help it... and now i get to play it on my ipod when i run next hour; i finally downloaded some tunes!!!

enjoy. (red, is this one that your 9 yr old likes?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uEttBMAwEs&ob=av2n[/video]]Orishas - El Kilo - YouTube

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh, and about the jovan musk: i once smelled it on a woman and liked it. she's the mother of my friend, a tall, rail thin ballerina from england who's had lots of face work done. so i bought some, but out of the bottle it smelled too cheap-y and fake-y and drug-store-ish. so it's now my air freshener. i'll still use it in a pinch, but only a quick spray or two!

ok, my mother's helper (not valium) is here, and i'm off to run -clop clop- with my wizards (orishas). ta taa!