just got my own bac!

[beatle]

just got my own bac!

Rudy (and RedH... and many others) make it so difficult to get around to posting on my own thread.

I'm not sure I like this blog thing, anyway. Well, I do like it, but it's getting a little out of hand. Like a full-time job (albeit it an immensely enjoyable and fulfilling one).

I don't understand how you people do it. Do you have other full-time jobs? Maybe you're just far more efficient than I am. I read other people's writing for a living, and there I am efficient (somewhat, maybe). I guess this MWO stuff just takes more attention. I mean, I care about you all... and you all write so damn well. And damn funny. (Wish I could say that about the text I work with every day.)

I take it back, I am not efficient at anything. And I'm not even funny. You all are giving me an inferiority complex. (As if I didn't have one already).

I guess this should have been on my own thread (read:blog). Then again, no. It should be on everybody else's blogs. Rudy was just the first man standing.

enough inefficiency beatle!

Off to read more RH and Ne (if she's still posting on her thread -- knows, she's busy enough helping others on their threads (blogs)) -- another paradigm of efficiency and funniness (yes, it is a word; it has not been underlined in red dots, which proves it) -- and brilliance in observatory prowess. (I think I messed up on the parentheses somewhere, but I can't keep track. That's what I get paid for, so not doing it here for free.:H).

And I forgot to mention: the funniness is just the icing on the cake. More like the marzipan on the cake, actually. The sharing of experiences and the advice are the real cake. Awww and all that.

So much for efficiency.

Sorry Rudy, back to you.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1124773 wrote: my breathing has been really shallow. coordinates with the whole sleeping breathing thing quite perfectly. i'm sitting outside, watching the deer run around, delaying going to bed cause i'm a bit scared (and this is fun). but i'm gonna feel the fear and do it anyway. ...in a few minutes (which i said about a half hour ago on my other thread).

i forgot to mention on my apnea thread that last night i felt something prick my foot. i felt around and it pricked my hand. it was a briar thorn and my finger started bleeding profusely. sure made me feel even less welcome in bed. but i put the thorn on my ex hubby's car seat so i think i'll sleep okay tonight. jokes.

...ok, i'm clearly stalling here.

i feel like an ass for smoking so much, especially with the apnea and the fact that my tongue feels like burned steak. smoking seems to have jumped up with the baclofen uppage, like red and ne said about their own experience. i have so many reasons to quit, and i will. soon. one thing at a time. for now i will cut back. remind me that i said that. snus comes tomorrow.

three days sober here, hooray, after weeks of very few days af, if any. didn't keep track. probably none. so this, combined w the horrible apnea, makes me wonder if i should stay at 110 mg for extra long. what do you good people think? if i were to follow my general 5 day (plus or minus) schedule, i'd have gone up roughly yesterday. i don't want the se's to worsen, but maybe they'd get better if i go up. but i've no desire to drink. but i have the weekend coming up, and probably time without my son... oh the ways of the balance...

i have to remind myself to take a deep breath. most of the time i'm only using a teeny bit of my lungs. i'd better get my butt to yoga.

still stalling. but there was one other thing, but it escapes me.

oh yeah, my dr called today to tell me that i should get bloodwork done cause my hand is still swollen. check for arthritis and lime disease. it'll be good to get the fingers sorted out, but i'll probably tell him about the bac. (he knows about my drinking and has always been very gracious and encouraging (to stop, not to keep on chuggin!)) i don't want any trouble, here. i'm sure he may have heard of it, but i sure as shit don't want any negative feedback. probably by the time i meet with him, my sobriety will be impressive (for me), so maybe he'll just roll with it, or, better, maybe it'll put a bug in his ear that he can look into for others who struggle similarly...

alright. i'll take my notebook to bed (not my laptop!), so when i think of that niggling other thing i'm forgetting i can write it down. as well as any wild dreams i have tonight ~ and may i have many!

wish me luck.
xo rb

Don't worry about the smoking now Rudy. I'm just now getting serious about it. Rome wasn't built in a day, and you can't tackle all of it at once. The shallow breathing or apnea isn't being made worse by the smoking. It's just a side effect of the baclofen.

I don't know what to tell you regarding your titration. I always waited for the worst of my SEs to subside, before going up to the next dose. Of course, this usually was 2 days, and in the higher doses 3-4 days. I would think if you are at a week, you may just want to go up. We all know this isn't medical advice. It is ultimately your call.

I have said a prayer that you get some sleep. This is what I do for a good outcome. I hope to hear back in the morning that it happened. Or, at least, it was better than it has been. Your three days sober is no joke. That is awesome. You might be very close to the switch already. I know you're only on 110 mg, but you're having the heavy duty side effects, with little or no drinking.

If you can tell your doctor, this would be great. For many reasons. I would encourage it from what you've already posted. Good luck with that.

Hope to hear something positive from you in the am.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, up the dose! The apnoea is unlikely to get worse, it may even disappear altogether. Triggers await you (weekend + sprog at his dad's) so up the dose and then you have something else to concentrate on i.e. all the weird new SEs that come with it. Have you had the shit-your-pants-when-you-sneeze thing yet? Don't worry, you will, everyone does. You did know about that right?

Beatle, I'm sure you've already answered this on your own thread (but I didn't used to read it because I found you scary) but why "beatle" and not "beetle"? I Assume you're not actually Ringo Starr, but if you are I'm going to feel very silly.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just got my own bac!

I'm waiting, too, Rudy!
What they all said. I think no harm, no foul if you stay at 110mg and continue not to drink. But indifference is a world unto itself and was well worth the punishment of getting there, for me.

xxoo
Ne

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

wow, shit for luck Rudy. and on another thread I thought your SE's had been mostly fun! you can ignore that comment when you come across it.

i'm with murph here - up your dose if it's still happening. it's so dose dependent, and weirdly doesn't get worse with more baclofen. there's a good chance it will disappear.

baclofen has completely screwed my sleep up. i sleep in the two hour bursts described elsewhere, and normally only get 3 of them, sometimes 2. i would love a night of unbroken sleep, just to remember what it feels like. one thing that is great is that i definitely am able to function on way less sleep than before, 4 or 6 hours is sufficient these days.

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

jesus. trapeze? really? is it the same thing i'm thinking of? whizzing through the air doing somersaults and shit? wow, what a hobby! how the hell did you stumble across that?

i'm suitably impressed!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

thanks guys. i've upped the dose to 130. good advice. and as you've maybe read on the other thread, the apnea has abated. the se has changed to the zapping in the fingers. kinda fun. zzzpt. zzzpt. oh, hello there. it's like a little bac spirit ticking my finger guts.

i'm also dreadfully tired, which is surely partly a result of my recent sleep issues. but it's definitely more pronounced on the higher dose. still feel stoned and love it, though sometimes, as mog implied, it's just the unfortunate aspect of ripping a bong hit. for me that means a physical lethargy that resembles slogging through 6 ft of mud.

oh, the elephant in the room... i mentioned on another's post (murphy's?) that i drank last night. i had 3and a half beers. Force Of Habit. and i wanted the taste of beer. that bubbly bitter ale swirling around and down was calling me at the end of my friday. it wasn't a blinding need, i just felt like it. it was leagues ahead of chugging vodka and juice in a hurry to escape. the beer tasted only okay (wolavers organic ipa from vt), and it took a lot longer to go down than it used to.

i don't feel one bit bad about having drunk. i had three days sober, one day with beer but far from drunk. i am definitely feeling 'switchy', as mog says of his current state.

tonight i'm with my sis and her family, and my son! stoned on bac but nothing else.

gotta sleep soon. so tired.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

why won't it let me edit? i wanted to change it from 'ticking' to 'tickling', but teh thingy is just swirling around trying to decide if it should let me. oh well. i just hope the post goes through.

bleep, trapeze was the exciting thing that helped me transition from brooklyn to upstate. (country life is a bit less super-charged than what i had known in the city.) there's a trap school that was just starting up when i moved up here, and i knew the people who started it, so i jumped right in. very fun. exhiliarating, adrenaline rush every time you, yes, fly through the air with the greatest of ease. my best trick was catching a full layout, which is a straight-body full rotation in the air and the guy catches you by the wrists at the finish of the rotation. unbelievable. definitely not doing it while newly on bac. i'll be going to yoga class in the morning.

...speaking of, i should get to bed...

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

beatle said somewhere that this blog thing is like a full-time job. i agree, but it's such a fun job, huh? i do have one of those ftj's, and i sneak this in while my son plays video games (don't tell his father!), or while he sleeps, which i sorely need to be doing...

my head is swirly and my eyes are swimming. bac and lack of sleep.

oh, last night i didn't have apnea (or maybe once or twice but it wasn't so scary this time around), but i did wake up a few times and see colorful, textured stripes of red and orange. and now i have a tingling in my legs. these se's are kinda trippy and fun.

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

what is a "ftj?"

it's sounding good rudy. it's great to hear you aren't bummed about having a beer, why would you be? just relax and go with the flow, which is what you're doing, so let me shut up.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, don't sweat the beer; you haven't switched yet, so it's irrelevant imo.
The tingling in the legs is a fun one. The seeing "textured stripes of red and orange" sounds like oxygen starvation to me. Looks like the apnoeaic episodes are lasting quite a long time. Brain damage to follow. But don't let it worry you, I may be wrong. :H

bleep;1125952 wrote: what is a "ftj?"

Full Time Job. As opposed to the ad I put in CL for a FTB(low)J. Oddly, I received quite a few expressions of interest.....mostly from red heads.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i can't find my baclofen! i am at my sister's who on weekends only lives eight minutes away, so i'll shoot home and hope it is on my counter. i meant to put it in my pill box but obviously forgot but didn't know i forgot. i'll be ordering some of that piracetem. i'll also get another bottle so i have two to not lose. eee ghads. just thought you should be kept abreast of my every in and out. (yes, murphy, i'll be sure to keep you posted if any knobs are involved in that theme.)

so nice to wake up after a full night's sleep and with no hangover. and i'm sure you all forgive me for repeating myself constantly. i can't be helped on that one. thoughts go whirling around in my head, over and over. and you see i have to share every single one of them, at least once but sometimes twice.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

nevermind. i found my tic tacs in the other bag i brought. guess i'm not as scattered as i thought.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1126099 wrote: just thought you should be kept abreast of my every in and out. (yes, murphy, i'll be sure to keep you posted if any knobs are involved in that theme.)

I'm glad to hear it. Just make sure the account is fully illustrated. Remember the 'pics or it didn't happen' rule.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

aww shuddup murph.
who cares if it did or didnt happen? it is my story and i am stickin to it. i know the joy of the experience and that is all that counts. meanwhile just enjoy on your end any imagery it brings to mind. i am sure there is plenty going on in your pretty little head about it.