just got my own bac!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

maybe i was wrong to assume you were talking about the trapeze in your last post. whatever specific you had in mind, i am NOT posting pictures! especially if a knob is involved.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

Murphyx;1126079 wrote:

Full Time Job. As opposed to the ad I put in CL for a FTB(low)J. Oddly, I received quite a few expressions of interest.....mostly from red heads.

IN YOUR DREAMS SMURPH! :biteme:

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1126243 wrote: aww shuddup murph.
who cares if it did or didnt happen? it is my story and i am stickin to it. i know the joy of the experience and that is all that counts.

You mean that was about trapeze? You need to get out more.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i've heard you say that to at least one other, murphy. you know, i just jumped to a quick conclusion about what you were referencing. but, you're right, i do need to get out more. i won't argue the point. in fact, i plan to do just that. i'll keep you posted of my going out, if not a detailed running log of my ins and outs.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Lol, sounds good Rudy.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

so, i've had my first lesson in baclofen supply. i will run out tomorrow, and i left it to yesterday to order. today i got a text from my pharmacy saying they couldn't fill my script. so, after a call to dr levin and a couple to the pharmacy (including many minutes on hold), things got straightened out. but it required dr L telling the pharm and then the pharm telling my insurance co that the dose i am on is justified, before getting them to ultimately agree to pay the order. word from the now-wise: don't leave it until the last minute! keep your pills flowing. i was in a momentary panic, wondering if i'd have to titrate down rapidly, or beg one of you to fed-ex me part of your supply. as it stands, i will forego 20 mg today (tell me if i should be alarmed about that) so that i can keep enough in my blood until tomorrow afternoon, when i will be happily in full supply again, for a couple of weeks, when the whole thing might start over again. but i'll roll the ball in greater advance so that i don't panic like i did today. my insurance co must think i have very tense muscles!

have any of you watched the black adder? random question, i know, but it always made me laugh so hard. 'tis good to laugh.

otherwise in rudy news: today i got served divorce papers. it was so funny, the guy who served them was terribly apologetic. he must've said "sorry" three or four times in our 1 minute interaction. i wanted to tell him not to worry, that i am perfectly happy to get divorced. especially as my ex's lawyer is a cock-sure, inefficient, novice jabberer, while mine is (at $350/hr!) a hotshot veteran shark. with my ex's behavior underscoring his deeply flawed character, i no longer feel any guilt about what i might have to do in court to protect what is mine. (would you believe that he is trying to sue me for child support?! based on the notion that i make more money than he, said fact due to my own intelligence that led me to an advanced degree that led me to a good job. he, on the other hand, wants to live the life of a trust funder without a trust fund, making very little money in his "career" in martial arts, such that he'd like to live off me as long as possible, simply because i did the stupid thing of marrying him. oh, i know, this-all is not relevant to my bac story. but it's relevant to my life, indeed!) the judge is gonna love me!

anywhoot, more excitingly: i planted much of my garden this weekend, and did a shit-ton of weeding. so far i have growing: brussels sprouts, celery, parsley, thyme, cilantro, oregano, basil, peppers, eggplant, too many tomatoes, strawberries, lettuce, mustard greens, bush beans, marigolds everywhere to keep the bugs down (i hope), cucumbers, sunflowers, cabbage, 3 kinds of squashes, rhubarb, and probably other stuff i'm forgetting. still to be planted: more leafy greens. i am very proud of myself. and if i had been drinking all weekend i wouldn't have this much to brag about. so thanks to baclofen and thanks for reading. come by for a summer harvest dinner, if you would!

i'm off to bed for solid sleep, soon, after some more delightful time here on the threads. love you guys.
xo rudy b

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just got my own bac!

Lovely Ruby.

There's a way around the whole insurance company/pharmacy debacle. You'll have to pay out of pocket for some of your bac, but it's cheap-ish. (less than $100 for a whopping lot of it.)



Any reason you can't split the difference and take 10mg tonight and 10mg tomorrow before you pick up your new supply? Nothing is going to happen, and you shouldn't be worried about that AT ALL. But since you're having such a profound effect in terms of your drinking, it would be wise to stay the course, you know? (continued congrats btw.)

Running short? It happens to all of us and it's a lousy feeling. I'm glad you put it out there for the official record.
Good night!
:l
Ne

The ex-husband sounds like a piece of work. Glad you showed him the door. Too bad it's still hitting him in the ass. Ah, well, the divorce papers should help clarify for him that the door is actually closing, right? Is that hard?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

nope, ne, it's not hard. i love slamming the door in his face. closing doors are good, especially for someone for whom boundaries don't come naturally. i told him today to finally get his crap out of my house, and that he should let me know what i can't throw away, as i'll be cleaning the garage this weekend (after taking 'before' pictures for the record). i don't let myself think about the cost of my mistakes in marrying him; i have my son and i wouldn't have him without having spent some of my life in this bizarre union with my now ex.

thank you for asking. this is a hardy process. i am growing in leaps and bounds as i am forced to stretch myself into new territory the likes of which i'd never have guessed i could survive.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i don't like that our avatars and signature quotes change all the way back to our initial posts. it would be nice if they'd stay the same, true to what they were when we posted. not a huge problem in the grand scheme, but something that bugs me just the same.

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

i wouldn't panic at all about a 20mg wobble. think of it as a forgotten dose. at some points in my baclofen experience (we need a good word for this whole thing. ride sounds too cultish, as does journey. suggestions?) a slight decrease has caused me to drink again, but if you are aware as to the reason, then it matters not, and it's just a bump in the road.

i agree wholeheartedly about the avatars and the signatures. a lot is lost when the changes are applied retrospectively. i don't use moods, but it should apply to those as well.

your ex is about to learn a very painful lesson. NEVER have the cheapest lawyer in a fight! that $350 is going to seem like peanuts when you see what it gets you down the road. you are clearly aware of this, please let us know some vague details when the dust settles, i can imagine it will be hilarious!

running short is one of my nightmares, and something i am constantly trying to get around. bloody zimbabwe is a terrible place to do something like this!

[moglor]

just got my own bac!

Wow, Rudy, your garden sounds amazing! I am totally coming over for dinner. ;-)

I have been wanting to do something similar at my place, especially since my ag area in Cali has such amazing soil, but even with the motivation borne of being AF, I still can't quite get the time together for rototilling, laying sprinkler, etc.

Best of luck with the divorce. You've definitely got the right idea with documenting everything, although until stuff is finalized, throwing his stuff away might be premature. It might be safer to rent a short-term storage unit.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i know, my garden impresses me no end! i think about myself with great fondness with regard to its existence and magnificence. it's so tidy and pretty and i've laid down newspaper mulch with hay on top (thanks goats for being so wasteful; i have the whole goathouse to empty and use to beautify my little eden). i especially love brussels sprouts, and they're so expensive to buy! i think i've got about 14 plants or so. last year, just as they were ready to harvest, the goats got into the garden and ate them all. this is sweet revenge!


i love that i can come here and 'confess' without feeling like a bad guy. i had 6 beers last night, over the course of 8 hours. (i stayed up way tooo late! who needs sleep?!) not long ago that amount would've taken me 4 hrs. it's habit, folks, it is habit. kept forgetting the beer was there. kept waiting for it to make me feel happy and high. it didn't. felt like a chore to choke it down. but i did it anyway. i definitely haven't switched yet (obvious), but i feel i am getting close. wish i'd stop fighting it, but i also don't care that much. i really don't. i'm just glad i'm not getting drunk, i have no desire to drink vodka, and i'm present to my son in a way i haven't been for a long time. triple phew.

i was so tired today! i am doing a shitty job at work. but so are the kids, so it's a wash. 5 more days of classes. next year will be much better. i can be a professional again.

thanks for reading. as always, thanks for your thoughtful responses.
xo rb

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh, my lawyer is so cool. my dad was a judge and has been giving me much helpful counsel. my lawyer said he'd be happy to talk to him, as he's not insecure about getting input, and two heads are better than one. how cool is that?! i feel like i have an awesome team looking out for me. and my ex is gonna eat one giant crow! i will definitely keep you posted.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, you are getting close! The switch can be different for different people. One may just taper off without realising it, but in your case I think you're just going to get so sick of wasting time drinking the booze. You'll suddenly make the decision to stop and that decision won't take willpower, it'll just be what your brain decides is the right thing to do. Some people may say you should try to go AF, but at this point I really wouldn't agree. It won't be a conscious thing. Just go with it. It's coming soon.

Hmmmm, the above seems a little rambling and incoherent, but I'm so knackered this evening, I can't be arsed to re-write it.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ps mog, dinner is at six in july when i can provide fruits from my labor.

and i love my job that i hate: insurance made me pay only five bucks for my next bac supply. i wish i could share this great good fortune wih you others who do not have such a blessing.