just got my own bac!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hey guys!

i love that you care about my shaggin shit! red, you got it right: the 'wanna fuck' guy was the younger (31) guy who couldn't make it cause of a broken car. second time he had a bad cold 'of a sudden. i know, it sounds bad, but i think he's sincere. adn i don't really care; it's not relationship material, just someone to get teh job done, and he does (usually). and safe sex, always! bleep, why would i ditch the chance at a good shag?! desperate times call for desperate measures.

the gay (bi?) ex bf is not the same; he's the one i described at length who is really a friend. the hints he gave at being "open" to me again were when he (quickly) kissed me on the lips, and when he said he would like to have the family unit some day. i told him i was surprised by that (the family unit, not the kiss; we didn't discuss the latter). and, btw, i've never broached the gayness factor with him; that's his business. if he wants to bring it up with me, he's safe here. but i think if i brought it up, he'd run the other way (he takes many opportunities to express his masculinity, except by having sex with me, i think partly by way of asserting that he does NOT enjoy sex with men). i like our friendship too much to risk that. and, as i said, that's his bundle of worms.

taw, sorry about your gardening scene. i'll send you some eggplants, cauliflower, kale!, jerusalem artichokes.... not trying to show off or make you feel bad. better yet, why'n't you just come over and help me harvest. your son can bring his dst and teach my son some more crazy habits.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

the other great good fortune bestowed upon me is that the students are gone! i have hours a day until the 24th to spend as i wish. there's a closet in the library that is very dark with the lights off, and there's a bean bag chair -a huge one and very comfy- where i can snuggle up and doze. today i did that for over an hour, so i was rip-rarin ready to go for my mtg, which turned out not to be w the stuffed shirt arrogant bastard asst superintendent, but rather w a really cool woman who gave me some great ideas. i was in rare form, cracking jokes that made many laugh. i learned a lot and will employ my new wisdom with my students next year. how cool is that?

i finished a cup of weak coffee by noon, and i've been flying ever since. what is this?! i feel manic! i'm usually somnolent at this point. my drive home was jittery, but not shaky or scary. could it be the new dose? (a few days ago i went from 130 to 150.) although i was very tired this morn (i went to sleep at midnight and woke at four), after my nap i felt fine, and am still feeling quite awake. maybe i'm getting that lovely gift that ne has described so aptly: zoom zoom! here's to hoping...!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

is it a bad idea to mention here current use of illegal substances? i alluded to smoking reefer on another thread, and am wondering if i should delete it. well, now i've gone and doubled my potential trouble, so please do advise.

[bkyogagurl]

just got my own bac!

GREAT LUCK to you Rudy!!!!

Can't wait to see your future posts.

hugs,
bk

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, too many excuses from the young shag-buddy.

A lazy shagger and a gay non-shagger?

Rudy, you need to cast your shag net wider and find another likely lad.

RudyB;1132046 wrote: the other great good fortune bestowed upon me is that the students are gone! i have hours a day until the 24th to spend as i wish. there's a closet in the library that is very dark with the lights off, and there's a bean bag chair -a huge one and very comfy- where i can snuggle up and doze. today i did that for over an hour,

It's a tough old life being a teacher eh?:H

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1132048 wrote: is it a bad idea to mention here current use of illegal substances? i alluded to smoking reefer on another thread, and am wondering if i should delete it. well, now i've gone and doubled my potential trouble, so please do advise.

As long as your true identity is not revealed, then it's not an issue. But then again, I've admitted much, much more on here (stuff that could land me in prison for a long stretch) and there's plenty of people who know my real name. And I couldn't really give a monkey's fuck. So, I'm really not one to offer advice on this matter...or any matter come to think of it.

[moglor]

just got my own bac!

Unless you plan on a career with the US government spooks or are silly and reveal your real name here, there's not much to connect you the person to you the poster. It can be done with law enforcement tools, but someone would have to admit to a pretty grievous crime here before anyone would ever consider investigating. Admitting to smoking dope is not a grievous crime. :-) Hell, in California it's basically legal. Just keep in mind the personal details you post about yourself, and that this forum is open to anyone in the world.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

great, murph! thanks. i shall continue to post sans restraint. meanwhile, i shall seek another shag.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hi mog!!!!!

welcome back! missed you.

[taw]

just got my own bac!

I hope I get a potential shag to talk about soon!!! Until then I will have to live thru u Rudy!!!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

yo, taw, don't let me set the standard! i'm not exactly batting one hundred here. fanculo! oops, baad word.

mog, do you mean to suggest that i give too much (personal stuff) away here on the boards? if you think so, please tell me. way i see it is what others have encouraged me to see: all's cool (to paint it simply, cause i aint got the time right now).

ergh, gotta go to bed now.
EVERYONE: STAY STRONG

[bkyogagurl]

just got my own bac!

Ya know Rudy.... I totally agree with Murph...

Sometimes I just feeling like posting my photo and my name...
This IS who I am.. If, in fact, I run into someone I might know on here.

Hmmmm..what might they be doing here. Running from the same demon.

Be who you are. We love you.

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

Man, Zim is such small place, anyone who logged on here would be able to identify me in about 30 seconds. Fuck it, I think. It was plain to everyone I was an alcoholic, so I don't really care if they find me through here. Jesus, when I discovered baclofen, I bored the crap out of anyone who listen for weeks. I've never understood people's reluctance to divulge this sort of thing. It's only society's stupid rules that make it so, and I've never been one to hold much room on my life for rules, so to hell with it. It just perpetuates the stigma and the myth.

Rudy, (oh shit, i just realised i've capitalised everything so far, humble apologies!) it sounds like you may have hit the fabled zoom zoom (great description ne!). enjoy!

and fuck it as well on the dope smoking. who hasn't? if that's the worst crime you can admit to, my high opinion of you has just dropped a notch!

murph summed up my thoughts about broken-car-boy - too many excuses in a situation where only loss of life is an acceptable one.

if you have all this time to yourself, why not go up more. stop going up by 20, go up by 40? just a thought. it won't necessarily bring on worse SE's, and if it does, then go back to 20mg increases. think about it.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

Murphyx;1132088 wrote: I've admitted much, much more on here (stuff that could land me in prison for a long stretch) and there's plenty of people who know my real name.

I think shagging sheep might be illegal. I'm not so sure it would land you in prison, Murph.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just got my own bac!

redhead77;1132423 wrote: I think shagging sheep might be illegal. I'm not so sure it would land you in prison, Murph.

I think he's moved on to monkeys or something?

Rube, luv, it's all good. what they all said.