just got my own bac!

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

very odd. maybe it's not baclofen? are you getting sick? any change in your dosing/dosing schedule? if it is baclofen, have you changed brands? or same brand, different batch?

and to make matters worse, you didn't actually lose the post. or does that make it better?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

...that makes matters very confusing.

i changed to 200 a week or so ago. maybe it's just kicking in. but i have also been ramping up at night cause i'm not getting them down fast enough during the day. i've also been missing 20 mg here and there. hmmm, maybe those are why. today i am being very careful with it all.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

my neighbor and 4 yr old boy are in my lawn. he's crying cause he hates his mommy. i wish they would leave. i'm supposed to be taking a nap and enjoying my respite from my 4 yr old boy who's at their house so i can sleep! fuck off, dudes!

murph, i love your new avatar. it's hilarious. (i really wish they wouldn't change on every post; they are relevant to when they were put! grumble central over here.) who is that woman?

there, i just politely shooed them away. i'm off to pop some bac and take a cat nap.

[SlipperyPete]

just got my own bac!

I'd say it's from ramping it up at night...sometimes when I don't space out my doses enough I get all manic. I don't get the pleasure of kicking kids off my property though :bat

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

SlipperyPete;1159432 wrote: I'd say it's from ramping it up at night.. Me too, although it would sound kinda saucy if I were to say it.

RudyB;1159277 wrote:
murph, i love your new avatar. it's hilarious. (i really wish they wouldn't change on every post; they are relevant to when they were put! grumble central over here.) who is that woman?

I don't know who she is, but she looks like she hates knob. I agree btw about the avatars changing. I also think the sig lines should stay because they're very relevant to the time, but what can you do eh?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ditto on the signature lines. it's truly inconsiderate website design to have it this way!

i've been thinking about our very un-pc conversation about regulating childbearing. don't think i included anything about the injustice of poverty and its attendant poor education and local food choices, and how they are an integral part of the problem. will our world as we know it come to a crashing halt and burn? i suspect yes. my sister just read a very depressing book called eaarth, about how we've irrevocably damaged our planet, adn life as we know it is soon to change tremendously. the wild weather is one of the first signs of that coming change.

on a lighter note, i've gotten enough bac down today to avoid the late-day binge on bac. phew. tomorrow should be better. today, i was sleepy and swirly-eyed all day. except when i took that three hour nap after i kicked the kid to the curb. sometimes the side effects are startling, such that i jerk my head and snap my eyes open and closed without warning. yesterday i hallucinated green garden hoses hanging tangled from my ceiling. spooky.

and so now i'm a'bed with some somewhat junky tv. my new favorite not-drinking activity at night is watching 'medium', starring patricia arquette as a consultant for the phoenix da, who uses her unusual talents to advise on court cases. fun stuff! but i find myself distracted by weak plot points. i'm just like my mother, my sister said in response to that.

oh, and the other day when she was 'mean' to me, it turns out she was stuck in the gloom of not being awarded a merit scholarship for her next master's degree. she feels like nothing is working out at the moment. i have had those days, too, to be sure! turns out the world doesn't revolve around rudy afterall.

nite nite, folks. sweet dreams.
xo and z's without hoses
rudy

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

A 3 hour nap? Jeez, that's a full night's sleep for me most nights.

RudyB;1159478 wrote: turns out the world doesn't revolve around rudy afterall.

Nonsense! That's not true.

Nightie night.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

murph, that's so american of you, that thing about not knowing spanish. gosh. as i've said, the music stands on its own, so do the videos. you could just turn off the sound and watch the hot guy. oh wait, you're a homophobe. don't wanna connect with your inner woman. right. well, i suppose, like loOp, i could send you photos of my developing six pack abs to put some extra pep into your step. it's on my to do list. i'd send you pics of my boobies, but that wouldn't work; too small.

in the night, when i awake after a few hours of delicious sleep, my mind does the funniest things. like think about new projects for the carpenter. or i'll pull my hair and scratch my scalp, with the new idea that such things will help my hair grow even more briliantly and softly than ever, even since i have new water to wash out all that hard water residue. so, i've done that, and now i'm doing this. next, i shall tuck back into bed for some more wild and crazy dreams.

nitey nite, again.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

you know, for our wedding j and i asked for money in lieu of gifts (how tacky, right?). the idea was to collect for a driveway to our new house that we would build together. and collect we did! we had 200 guests. but we never built the house. he built his dojo instead. but i am over being angry with him. except when he gets the opportunity to remind me what an arrogant and selfish prick he is.

like just now. he was here collecting mats for a martial arts demo in a nearby town. he's been away all week at summer camp for the obsessive trainers such as himself, so i have had sole responsibility for our boy. i asked him for half an hour, just shy of a good run, so i could go work off some of the frustration of doing it all alone. he got all pissy and hissy about not wanting to be late for his demo. meanwhile, the guy who would be moving his mats wasn't even here yet with his truck. these expensive mats are big and heavy. c'mon, a half an hour! i yelled at him that i haven't had a break all week. (g was playing in the dojo, out of earshot, otherwise i NEVER would have yelled. if only.) i started to walk away and in his eternal grace he conceded. he told me to take my run, as if i were asking to go drink a pint of vodka.

so run i did. fast. making sure he had nothing to hold against me. it was an impressive feat: finding all the acoutrements, including my weights which were hidden in the mess of this construction site, and running almost 3 miles. i felt much better afterwards, and truly energized (the coffee that i tried to get down without success did nothing in its small quantity). i was gone exactly thirty five minutes, and he was still here for another ten. so there!

single parenting is not meant to be! it takes a village, and apparently that's what i've got. at the moment, g is at the new neighbors' house, playing with their possee of boys. that's the only way i can be writing right now. it's greuling, this tending to an almost 5 yr old boy. he has many needs, one after the other. his sleep schedule does not forgive my 2 am stolen moments while he sleeps. (i do whatever i can to have time to myself. sometimes i am so very tired when i awake in the middle of the night, but i leap out of bed at the chance for a moment alone.) his demands feel like needs to him, but so many are just his need to tug at me, make sure i'm still there and willing to cater to his whims. though i don't think it's intentionally manipulative; it's age-appropriate and real for him. but it's exhausting for me, and it starts very early in the morning and goes all day. if i'm not careful, i wind up with a day with no plan and the prospect of being a crazyperson more than once in its course. but, especially now with three (!) sets of cool neighbors with kids of like ages, there is much reason to be hopeful. lookie what i've got going on right now: a happy kid playing with boys, even older ones, his favorites, just a few doors down (2/10ths of a mile, to be exact), and free license to do as i please for as long as i want. things have a way of working out.

like they do in my house. i've taken down two walls which makes the air and light flow through my hogar like it should. replaced vanitites and stripped walls of hideous 80's track lighting. next up: new doors and windows, which will cost much upfront but pay for themselves in a few short years, as the heat won't be leaking out like it leaks out of a seive, which my house will have once been. things do happen in bunches, like murph and mom have said. lately, the sinks and tubs haven't been draining. i don't know why it took me so long to remember draino! but i finally did, used some with a borrowed plunger (couldn't find mine, imagine that), and voila! things are draining again. such an apt metaphor for my life as a whole!

as usual, folks, the goose hangs high!

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1159550 wrote: murph, that's so american of you, that thing about not knowing spanish. gosh. as i've said, the music stands on its own, so do the videos. you could just turn off the sound and watch the hot guy. oh wait, you're a homophobe. don't wanna connect with your inner woman. right. well, i suppose, like loOp, i could send you photos of my developing six pack abs to put some extra pep into your step. it's on my to do list. i'd send you pics of my boobies, but that wouldn't work; too small.

in the night, when i awake after a few hours of delicious sleep, my mind does the funniest things. like think about new projects for the carpenter. or i'll pull my hair and scratch my scalp, with the new idea that such things will help my hair grow even more briliantly and softly than ever, even since i have new water to wash out all that hard water residue. so, i've done that, and now i'm doing this. next, i shall tuck back into bed for some more wild and crazy dreams.

nitey nite, again.

If you keep pulling your hair it's going to start falling out.

Visible abs on a girl is soooooo not sexy. So no pics of your abs thanks......unless they're in context i.e. a full frontal so I can tell you whether they work with the rest of you.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1159795 wrote:
as usual, folks, the goose hangs high!

Cool! Things ARE good.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

golly murph. i'm thrilled that you get that expression. is it english? it came from my nana.

abs not sexy on a woman!? what, are you crazy?! they're not jutting out bigger than my boobs or nothin'! but recently i read some yahoo thing about men liking their women soft. soft schmoft. i'm not gonna manhandle the lucky winner or nothin. i'd prefer to be manhandled by someone who's not intimidated by my strength. i'm not like loOp, whose sidewalls would hurt the hands. but close. sheesh. please do explain your thinking. should i resume drinking and sitting around, to soften my middle?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i've just uploaded photos to snapfish, and am about to attempt to post a picture of a fraction of my bounty. wish me luck, and here i go...



did it work?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

argh, no it did not! who can tell me why?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!