just got my own bac!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh goodie, gals!

red, first of all, don't ever delete on my thread! i'm always thrilled to hear from you. i haven't been on because, yes, the power went out two nights ago and probably wont' be on again for at least a few more days. but the sliver lining is that there are a few hot guys in this internet cafe. (whatddo i do? whaddo i do? spill tea on his lap? break my computer and cry? these are the parts where i always fail, tuck my head, and shy my way out of a possibly great shag.)

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i posted that one right away 'case anyone wants to send some immediate answers. guys in particular, what's a fair lass to do???

so, red, the law of attraction ROCKS! i'm totally into it and am trying to make it my way as much as i can, as i believe it to be true, completely true. (ok, i'll envision that hot guy coming over and telling me I'M hot and we should go drink tea somewhere dark and cozy.) i have read 'the (simple but true) secret'. love it. and love even more ester and somebody hicks' 'the vortex', which is a bit more sophisticated but has the same essential message. they are mediums (media, i suppose) of sorts for spirit bodies who share their truths. they were consultants in the writing of 'the secret'.

yeah, windy woman, my sis was in brooklyn. got to keep her power and buy her food from a shelf in a store even AFTER the storm. i, as you see, was not so lucky. my son and i have done puzzles, which i actually really LOVE! especially when they're illustrations of my favorite author for kids, sven nordqvist from sweden. check him out, even if you only have a bird. he's full of whimsy and artistic talent and incredible imagination. (ok, i know, it's kindof a specialized interest, particular to mothers of humans. but still.)

the smoking crossed my mind once or twice, mostly to a disinterested inner response. and one of: 'shit, i'm glad i'm not doing THAT! i'd have to sprint through this pelting rain and gale-force wind to get into the disgusting garage to enjoy (?!) a pukey smoke. no thanks!'

ok, any tips yet on the guy over there? i know he's been checking me out, too. and i'm definitely older, so i should probably take the lead, right? c'mon, whadddo i doooo?

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh yeah, red, my dear. i forgot to say that i always feel honored when you post on my thread, so cut it out, wouldja! (guess i've made my point.)

the venison. there's a guy down the road, chuck, awesome fella. he grew up in the house next door. he always hunted the area, including my land, and he still does. (he just brush hogged my field and boy does it look swell! a whole lotta purging going on here! (oh, if'n someone don't know, brush hoggin' is like mowin', but the tough stuff like briar and bramble.)) anyway, here and there he gives me venison, which may or may not be from a deer that was shot up the hill. (if not up the hill, probably down the hill across the road. talk about local!)

anywhoot, me too, i never used to like it either, but i do now, and yes, it matters much how you cook it. i have been using stew meat, cooked w lots of garden vegs and herbs and for a while, with chicken stock. sometimes, though, i just marinate it -usu w lots of garlic and everything else- for a long time, and then fry it up quick and rare. yum! steaks can be trickier. i think the secret is to marinate well and long, then cook just right: fast and rare is my approach.

i have a freezer full of meat, partly thanks to chuck. and thanks to my not-gay ex bf, i have a working generator (ex hubby couldn't fix the expensive one he bought, so he's, once again, useless), so the freezer is still freezing.

sorry you squirmy vegetarians, i should've warned you not to read this post. or, maybe now you;re ready for some juicy flesh...?

love y'all. gotta run, so 'till power comes back, or 'till next cafe visit, i bid you adieu.
xoxo rudy

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

oh well, hot guy's girlfriend just showed up. shame on him for checking me out! (i wasn't imagining it, really.) good i didn't break my laptop to get his attention.

oh, ne, from a few days back: yes, i think people aren't cursing like they used to. why? i'd like to get to the bottom of it.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

My Internet appears to not be working either. This wouldn't be due to Irene, but to the fact that I forgot to pay the bill. I have the money cause all I do is work, but cause that's all I do, I sometimes forget about other important matters...like paying things with my hard earned money. :H.

I think you didn't attract the hot Internet cafe guy because the law of attraction takes time. You need time to visualize and focus on the man of your dreams. Then poof there he is.

Chuck, since he may be hunting on some of your land, had better be keeping your freezer full. As long as he's not bringing you the local road kill, he sounds pretty alright. And taking care of your yard? Very cool. Is Chuck single? I think the venison in a stew filled with herbs may be tasty. It seems like an acquired taste.

My phone wants to capitalize Internet. Internet isn't capitalized is it? Computer will be up and running by the time I get home from work tomorrow, I believe. Payment was supposed to go through on the 30th. I best start 'knowing' this will happen. :H

Nighty night.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, I'm terribly disappointed you decided his girlfriend showing up meant the end of the matter. Perhaps they would have welcomed the opportunity of a threesome. Just an idea.

For future reference, in that situation, where you think the bloke is checking you out and you're not sure how to proceed, simply play the helpless girly card: be all useless and pathetic and ask him for help. He'll have no choice but to offer assistance, we can't help ourselves, it's a genetic imperative. Of course bear in mind, whilst you're likely to get as much shagging as you want, you wouldn't want to actually start any sort of relationship like that. Well, unless you like being treated as a child and having your every move decided by someone else.

Rudy, haven't you got like a gazillion giga watt solar array in your garden? How come you have no power?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

just got my own bac!

:H yer still funny Mx.

Ruby, I think of the automatic corrections on my phone as a MadLib. Remember those? I still like using Woof Woof!
I do change it for acquaintances, but for those who know me, they oughta know I get a chuckle.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

um, for $26 grand he didn't get any batteries w the panels, so no power on the grid equals no power for us! brilliant!

i'm back at work -clearly working hard- so i have the opportunity to tell you about my latest nightmare.

that's weird, i hit enter and it submitted my post. hmm.

anyway, the spanish word for the day, which i may have given already: PESADILLA ~ nightmare.

mi pesadilla de anoche fue... (my nightmare from last night was...)

i was the main teacher of an overnight fieldtrip of about 35 middle school students from my current school, along with a couple of useless chaperones. we were at some kinda camp. students were whooping it up, drinking and smoking like crazy. i was hiding in a separate room, my head in the sand, not drinking or smoking. toward the end of the night, i went out to find two students dead, two lovely young females. one was hanging from the balcony, the other was laid out on the floor. both had been bludgeoned, but there were no obvious signs of this cause of death. an older student, J, had done it. he is a real live kid here who fancies himself a gangster. i didn't really know what to do. internally, i was slow and numb, as if i were thinking: 'well, there's lots of kids, what's a couple fewer gonna matter?'. i calmly started prodding students to move away from the bodies. one girl waved her hand in front of one of the corpse's eyes, saying, 'you mean she can't see anything?!'. another, N, always a drama queen in real life, said 'no way, i'm not goin nowhere, i'm GONNA get a part in this movie!'. [do i need a period after that quote or not?!]

then, i awoke, hugely relieved, as you can imagine, that it was just a dream. i scanned the room, absorbing its tranquility like a glass of cool, filtered, hudson-valley water BEFORE a rainstorm. then, i willed the dream away for good, but it continued!

... it was several hours later. i had made no calls, but somehow the fbi found out and showed up. i was scared but not terrified. afterall, I had not been drinking, and I did not do the killing. they showed me their badges, and proceeded into the camphouse. only then did i realize that i probably had a giant problem on my hands, since i was supposed to have been supervising these youth, but instead i had let them drink, and kill not just one, but two of their own.

at some point i woke up again. this time it was less with a sense of relief and more a sense of annoyance: dreams are suposed to CHANGE once you've awakened.

the good news remains: i am not drinking or smoking ONE BIT. not even interested in that nonsense, still. se's are revisiting a bit: twitching and tingling, hand clenching, nothing major. (i've been at 200 for a few weeks, and am gonna try 180 for several days and see how that goes; maybe the se's will subside but the cravings won't...) i can live with the se's much more easily than the daily self-loathing that comes with over-drinking.

i've called my former therapist, to help me with some of my challenges. for example, with the challenge of having a judge still living in my head (not to mention on my property: my ex hub); i have made huge leaps for the better in my personal life, yet i get on my own case for not having staked the tomatoes or planted all the annual flowers or getting my camera fixed so i can show y'all pictures of the messes i'm going to clean up (before and after style). sometimes, as my mom was saying this morning, we make great progress in many areas, but stay stuck in a few. the judging is my area, for sure. (and i generally think of myself as a very accepting person, but today, upon my return to work, i found myself having positively bitchy attitudes -internally- toward many of my colleagues: their accents are painful; they are stupid and boorish; they have terrible hair. wtf, rudy?! wtf do you expect? this is sullivan county! oops, there i went again.)

one thing i'm going to look into (thanks mom) is emotional freedom technique, and something else. (what was that other thing, mom?) that'll cure me, i'm sure. and i'll be just about done.

ok, so the shagging. right. i've gotta take red and murph's advices: be helpless for the shag, visualize and dwell in what i want for the long term. right-o, so there's my homework. nevermind planning for my next year of teaching. (for instead i shall also be visualizing my way of becoming economically self-sufficient in a more deeply rewarding manner...)

'kay everybody. i know there's lots more. but i shall go now as it's time to pack up and go home. i'll be back at work tomorrow to talk with you again.

you know, why the heck don't we bury our power lines like they do in uber-civilized and -beautiful switzerland and probably most european countries?! this power outage is a most stupid and evitable -avoidable- problem that costs as much money on balance as burying them in the first place would have. probably more.

i am also visualizing underground power lines.

xo rudy ru

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1171202 wrote: you know, why the heck don't we bury our power lines like they do in uber-civilized and -beautiful switzerland and probably most european countries?! this power outage is a most stupid and evitable -avoidable- problem that costs as much money on balance as burying them in the first place would have. probably more.

i am also visualizing underground power lines.

xo rudy ru
It's very strange Rudy, very strange. Over-head high tension power lines not only look bloody awful, they are known to cause certain childhood cancers and they lead to a 5% (min) loss of power during the transmission, which would pay for the extra initial cost of burying them.

RudyB;1171202 wrote: um, for $26 grand he didn't get any batteries w the panels, so no power on the grid equals no power for us! brilliant!

The battery bank can be dangerous, but you have plenty of space and it could have been situated safely away from the house. Well, I think that is just another of your (soon to be) ex's inadequacies.

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

The other tool I mentioned is hypnotherapy, Rudy! This woman, Betty Moore Hafter, does the two together and says this: "Two questions have been very important to me: How do people heal? And how do people change? The answers I've found involve the subconscious mind. This is where our feelings, core beliefs, defenses and old programming keep problems locked into place. And so my passion has been learning about the subconscious and developing tools to bring healing to these levels. I am a Certified Hypnotherapist and an EFT Practitioner. Hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) are powerful tools to access the subconscious and facilitate change. I invite you to visit my new website A Message from Betty Moore-Hafter, Certified Hypnotherapist and EFT Professional... to find out more about my work." xo Mom

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1171202 wrote: um, for $26 grand he didn't get any batteries w the panels, so no power on the grid equals no power for us! brilliant!

i'm back at work -clearly working hard- so i have the opportunity to tell you about my latest nightmare.

that's weird, i hit enter and it submitted my post. hmm.

anyway, the spanish word for the day, which i may have given already: PESADILLA ~ nightmare.

mi pesadilla de anoche fue... (my nightmare from last night was...)

i was the main teacher of an overnight fieldtrip of about 35 middle school students from my current school, along with a couple of useless chaperones. we were at some kinda camp. students were whooping it up, drinking and smoking like crazy. i was hiding in a separate room, my head in the sand, not drinking or smoking. toward the end of the night, i went out to find two students dead, two lovely young females. one was hanging from the balcony, the other was laid out on the floor. both had been bludgeoned, but there were no obvious signs of this cause of death. an older student, J, had done it. he is a real live kid here who fancies himself a gangster. i didn't really know what to do. internally, i was slow and numb, as if i were thinking: 'well, there's lots of kids, what's a couple fewer gonna matter?'. i calmly started prodding students to move away from the bodies. one girl waved her hand in front of one of the corpse's eyes, saying, 'you mean she can't see anything?!'. another, N, always a drama queen in real life, said 'no way, i'm not goin nowhere, i'm GONNA get a part in this movie!'. [do i need a period after that quote or not?!]

then, i awoke, hugely relieved, as you can imagine, that it was just a dream. i scanned the room, absorbing its tranquility like a glass of cool, filtered, hudson-valley water BEFORE a rainstorm. then, i willed the dream away for good, but it continued!

... it was several hours later. i had made no calls, but somehow the fbi found out and showed up. i was scared but not terrified. afterall, I had not been drinking, and I did not do the killing. they showed me their badges, and proceeded into the camphouse. only then did i realize that i probably had a giant problem on my hands, since i was supposed to have been supervising these youth, but instead i had let them drink, and kill not just one, but two of their own.

at some point i woke up again. this time it was less with a sense of relief and more a sense of annoyance: dreams are suposed to CHANGE once you've awakened.

the good news remains: i am not drinking or smoking ONE BIT. not even interested in that nonsense, still. se's are revisiting a bit: twitching and tingling, hand clenching, nothing major. (i've been at 200 for a few weeks, and am gonna try 180 for several days and see how that goes; maybe the se's will subside but the cravings won't...) i can live with the se's much more easily than the daily self-loathing that comes with over-drinking.

i've called my former therapist, to help me with some of my challenges. for example, with the challenge of having a judge still living in my head (not to mention on my property: my ex hub); i have made huge leaps for the better in my personal life, yet i get on my own case for not having staked the tomatoes or planted all the annual flowers or getting my camera fixed so i can show y'all pictures of the messes i'm going to clean up (before and after style). sometimes, as my mom was saying this morning, we make great progress in many areas, but stay stuck in a few. the judging is my area, for sure. (and i generally think of myself as a very accepting person, but today, upon my return to work, i found myself having positively bitchy attitudes -internally- toward many of my colleagues: their accents are painful; they are stupid and boorish; they have terrible hair. wtf, rudy?! wtf do you expect? this is sullivan county! oops, there i went again.)

one thing i'm going to look into (thanks mom) is emotional freedom technique, and something else. (what was that other thing, mom?) that'll cure me, i'm sure. and i'll be just about done.

ok, so the shagging. right. i've gotta take red and murph's advices: be helpless for the shag, visualize and dwell in what i want for the long term. right-o, so there's my homework. nevermind planning for my next year of teaching. (for instead i shall also be visualizing my way of becoming economically self-sufficient in a more deeply rewarding manner...)

'kay everybody. i know there's lots more. but i shall go now as it's time to pack up and go home. i'll be back at work tomorrow to talk with you again.

you know, why the heck don't we bury our power lines like they do in uber-civilized and -beautiful switzerland and probably most european countries?! this power outage is a most stupid and evitable -avoidable- problem that costs as much money on balance as burying them in the first place would have. probably more.

i am also visualizing underground power lines.

xo rudy ru
The nightmare could very well be related to nicotine withdrawal. It is common to have vivid nightmares, and even trouble sleeping when coming off the nicotine, and the other hundreds of chemicals in cigs.

I'm not telling you to get shagged, do it when it works for you. And for goodness sake, DO NOT LISTEN TO MURPH!! Who knows what kind of situation you'll find yourself in. :H I kicked my shag buddy to the curb a few weeks back. He has issues. I'm okay with it. I got what I needed to out of my system...for now. Duracell already sent me a preferred customer, welcome back letter. They are happy to have me.

If you are at work, I hope you're having a delightful day with all those kids.

[Murphyx]

just got my own bac!

Damn it, I sold my Duracell shares.

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

Hey Rudy and her mom,

I've just been to my third hypnotherapy session. My therapist is more informed and right about things (like progesterone supplementation makes many women depressed) than most or all doctors I've seen. I don't know which I prefer, the first part of the session where we break down what the hypno will address, and dig into the issue and where it came from - or the guided imagery/meditation that hypnotherapy seems to be, for me. The former is just so ... healing. She tells me emphatically I have been HURT a LOT, and I have very valid reasons for having interalized self-judgement, fear, panic or whatever the issue is that we're addressing. Refreshing. She's quite young, early thirties or younger, but so knowledgable and kind and caring. Ahhhhh.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

wow, bruun, sounds great!

um, red, golly, i forgot about all that chemical aspect of smokin. very good point about its possible role in my dreaming! i love the alcohol metaphor riddle thingy in that there dream. i'll mull it over more, but not here nor now. i've GOT to get my arse into bed. (after a quick ppeeek at a couple other threads.)

power's still out. might just move in w sis for a few days, as it's promised to be out through sunday! ergh. but at least i still have my house! many people around here -too many- can say that they don't and it's hard to imagine being in their shoes! still more are STUCk IN their houses, cause hteir roads are washed away, or trees block their paths to and fro. (but crews are working like mad to free people up.) seems my home town -and many other towns in vermont- were hit very hard, the hardest of any areas in the area. darn it. aww.

mom, thanks for that great quote. i totally dig what she says and she's definitely onto something. i CAN"T BELIEVE how little i think about smoking! and how indifferent i feel when i do! holy jessie-us, marika, and jose!

i went for a late run and that usually makes me all energized into the night and now finally i am starting to slow down so i think i'll tuck into bed and hope for the best.

work is going just fine. may it continue.

nitey nite all.
xo rudy

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

the only profundity that came from my short sleep was an alternative name for saran wrap (maybe you foreigners call it plastic food film?): squit nap.

i could not get to sleep! hours and hours went by with no fruition on that front! it must've been 3 am when i finally dropped off. strangely, i'm chipper as a springtime bird now, at half six, as they say some places.

could the insomnia have been from nic withdrawl? i think i remember reading of someone having that. was it ig? or bleep, once upon a time? (where is bleep, btw? have i not seen him in a while? or am i just absentee myself?) or maybe the children's benadryl (which i found out about from you, red, and my sister had on hand) backfired. i took 6 tsp, just a little more than the adult dose. ok, one third more. anyway, i'd like this not to happen again.

good news is the beasts (students) are not in the house until next wednesday, so i'll be just fine at work today. probably take a nap at some point.

good day all!