just got my own bac!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ok, so, the row, and then i'm going to curl into bed (alone, which is just spiffy!) cause it's ten o'clock, jeepers!

it was great, and now i feel muscles in my lower back that have been re-awakened from a long sleep 'cause i've never felt them in this body in this lifetime. they are pulling gently against my kidneys and it feels good. it's a very primal sensation.

we did a sprint at the very end. wow! now that was intense. afterwards, i was telling the guy putting us together for the races that i didn't think i could handle the longer one on the 29th, as it's farther away and requires an overnight and i didn't know what i'd do with my son, and as i'm daunted by what just happened and i don't think i could sustain that for a whole race. his reply was that if it was about childcare, he would understand, since that takes precedence over all else (don't i know that now!). but that i would not even be sprinting one bit in the upcoming race. that he picked me because he thought i could handle it; i'm athletic and flexible and a quick learner. so there. i'm rowing in the race. watch us win!

i love that my recycling is now only full of yogurt containers, kombucha bottles and fancy soda bottles (today we found a chocolate-cherry-rose soda that wasn't sweet and was made with fermented apple juice!), a can from coconut water, a clear bottle from sparkling apple fizz. none of them was over-sweet. not one of them was made with corn syrup! and i even like my ex-hub's 2 organic microbrew ipa bottles, though he best not get in the habit of filling my bin! i love that it's not heavy every few days with the clank of those familiar empty brown ten-ouncers.

think i'll skip the wayans brothers (they'll never look the same to me, bruun, after learning your opinoin of them), and head straight to my spooky show. i just love the relationship between the woman and her man!

sweet dreams, all. love yourselves!

xo ruby dee ru

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

hey jimmy, i bet you'll find many, many moments worth catching coming up in your daily life. and when you get the prints, you'll remember having lived each and every one of them!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

you know, it really is a good idea to put dryer balls -or clean sneakers if you have none- in with a duvet when you dry it. (first put it outside for hours if it's a sunny day.) it really does fluff things up considerably. i recommend a low heat setting.

and flossing teeth is feels so good, particularly after ribs.

nitey nite!

(i'm a little bit happy, i admit, that i have to take 60 mg in a short time to get them all down before sleep. does that mean i'm not recovered? i think not! i'm a LOT happy that i drank no alcohol today!!!)

really, now, rudy! patricia arquette is getting impatient waiting for her date with you!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

(ok, i'm really mentally manic these days. by now patricia has left. somehow i ended up back at page 113 of this thread, and i was reading is's post, then red's, about bronkaid. these came just after red mentioned, i think for the third time, olive leaf extract. i kept reading 'grape leaf extract' - even bought grape seed extract, ultimately having decided that she must've been mistaken about the 'leaf'. so, after the bronkaid posts, in which both ladies mentioned it helping them through somnolence, i excitedly replied that it's wonderful, this bronkaid, as it'll help me with my asthma and help me get to sleep! and i fancy myself a very attentive reader!)

ok, help me think of an excuse for my green-eyed, blond-haired, ample-hipped and big-boobed starlet of a date...

(yes, murphy, i wanna shag her.)

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

...but the whole re-read gave me a good hearty belly-laugh.

ok, so that was a mistake, watching my spooky show. this episode had a five year old boy go missing in a toy store, only to have a disenfranchised detective find him after pawing through dozens of life-sized dolls. the boy was stuffed in one of the boxes, with the clear plastic casing so you got a clear view of his bloody dead face. shudders and bile in my throat, my stomach a knot. i came downstairs and put my nice snack of leftovers on the counter. am having yet another cigarette and telling you about it for comfort.

i'll watch the rest of the episode in hopes of some kind of redemption. angelica houston just came into the scenes, so that's a start.

my son lies very much alive and sleeping like an angel. for that i am profoundly grateful.

remind me not to watch this show again for a while. i should have taken my book to bed instead.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

'nutters.' that's what murph would have used instead of 'nutty.' (reference that post about his sometimes-not-invincible british humor.)

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

i totally get it if nobody wants to wade through my tomes of mania. i feel a bit self-conscious for having said so much yesterday, but i'm more and more quickly coming back to the fact that this writing is as much for me -if not more- than for someone who might read it and glean something useful.

thanks for caring, if not sharing!

rudy

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

last night, each time i awoke from thirst and drank water, i had a guilty feeling for needing to drink, as i knew it was from having had too much beer. then, each time, i was so delighted to remember that i had NO beer last night. that is a beautiful realization!

some of my son's first words this morning: 'mama, you know baginas are sensitive like penises?'

maybe he'll be a gynecologist, like my brother's new girlfriend, who's a gynecologist from brazil. wowza! i hope i get to meet her! she speaks spanish, too.

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

Rudy, I am grateful for your tomes. I had a very rough weekend and as a result didn't read much here. Coming here this morning (I am home sick from work) to read your thread helped me feel better. :l

I have been dealing with a lot of HDB-related anxiety (thank god for xanax), as well as either a virus or infection of some sort that left me nearly unable to get out of bed for most of the weekend. Ugh, what a waste of a weekend!!

On the plus side, I believe I'm indifferent again, at 200mgs! I was partly thinking that maybe I had no interest in AL this weekend because I felt so poorly, but that never stopped me before. Now I am left with the decision to try and stay at 200 for a bit longer, or to titrate down and hopefully begin to alleviate the crippling anxiety and sleep issues. Although, I at least got a lot of solid sleep this weekend! Though I still feel exhausted.

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

Sorry to hear of your weekend and feeling sick still today Is. At least you're getting back to indifference, that's a big huge thing!

Ru, no I'm not drunk in public, only alone. I'm back on All-One as of yesterday and you're right, slammed wasn't the right word for the hints the world is giving me. Slammed will come if I don't listen to the whispers.
Gabapentin helps with that.

What a horrible episode to see when you have a 5 year old son. I hope it ended well, somehow.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

is, sorry you're not feeling well! drag to lose a weekend! (you don't have today off? you're not allowed to celebrate our acclaimed genocidal maniac who 'discovered' this country?!) i was wondering where you were. we had such a nice conversation going there, especially over at bruun's place.

thank you so much for your kind words! they mean a LOT to me.

so glad about your scene with the drinky-poo! i'm right there with you at 190. though yesterday was a great se-free day (even having had ale the night before), today i have the terrible somnolence for the price i pay, but i'll take that ANY DAY over anxiety!!! (what gives? i thought the drink was supposed to worsen se's?! and the not-drink was to help alleviate them!) i'm going to cure it today with a run, cause that always juices me up for hours, even though i prefer to run only a few times a week (i feel stronger that way, strangely, and kinder to my joints).

gald you have xanax, is! hope it helps you have a happy day. are you taking some of the remedies we've discussed to get your sick out of you sooner? (i'm sure i reported that the gse saved me days of illness, i have no doubt.)

besos,
rudy

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

bruun! i was wondering when you'd get up and get online! (not to be needy or nothin.')

me too, bruun, i was always a private drunk, thank god! when i was out with people, i didn't want to drink much, as i was already feeling good. therein lies the lesson: i ENJOY folks, and self-imposed isolation is NOT good for me!

the episode did get better, with angelica -in the end- becoming a fierce ally to patricia. that's good; patty was pretty bummed that i stood her up.

ok, i'm off to pound asphalt with my sweetheart. love you guys!

xo ru roo

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

Which reminds me, or should I say witch? Tis the season after all....

I need to check out the meetups site on my other computer. Wish I felt a little better so I could do some planting without feeling faint. Oh well, I'm having my detox tea and warming up, so we'll see how much we get done. I have a helper coming for an hour to weed today. I'm off for Columbus day, you?

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

I don't have today off, but I am actually taking a sick day today. On Saturday, after my water with acv and Emergen-C, I ended up almost hurling. So I've stopped taking those due to the negative association! :H
I was just wondering the other day whether or not anybody was actually off for Columbus Day. I work for a financial company, and just about everything (trade-wise) is still fully up and running, nobody's off.

I was just about to head over to Bruun's thread and catch up there.

I hate that this kept me from getting any exercise this weekend, as it always makes me feel better.

I've never noticed that not drinking lessened the SEs. Whenever I've been at a high enough dose to make me not want to drink, the SEs have always been at their worst, drat!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

yeppers, woman! gotta celebrate that maniac, as i mentioned to is, who, for some reason is supposed to be at work today?! and we're having the most glorious indian summer here! it might reach 80!

hope that tea is working its magic. i was just the other day thinking that i need to drink more tea, how it helps warm from the inside out, definitely reaching the heart along the way. (and how nice it is with my sister's honey!) sure enough, i made some tea. what kind, you may ask. why, detox, of course!

like i've said, bruun, we there.

thank you for reminding me of which season 'tis. right-e-o, so if i head to another episode of medium, that's okay, given the season. but the second i suspect it's heading in a ghastly and emotionally unsettling direction, i shall switch to something else.

go on with those meetups, dear one. it's a very good thing that you're not socially uncomfortable (at least not that you've reported and i've read), because meetups could lead to very good things. just ONE person can change your life!

i did a search a couple months ago for a spanish group in the area. nothing. which is actually really good. i'm going to start my own. just yesterday, i met a guy from colombia at the brasil fest. he would be very interested in joining un grupo de hispanohablantes. within two minutes upon meeting, we were discussing differnt kinds of spanish, who was the king of spain in whose honor they began speaking spanish with a lisp, how caribbean spanish is too fast and they cut the s's off the ends of their words, but how you have to respect all forms of the language. i got defensive for a split second and said 'duhh.' but in english; another reason to have this group: colloquialisms! (alas, jose was not hot and shaggable!)

i've also recently re-connected with a colombian woman who had tons of ideas for the group (colombian spanish is so clean); guess i'd better contact her again! time is nigh with fall turning into winter, and with the obvious benefits of people keeping company with you, warm indoors.

we'll eat latin food, we'll listen to music and discuss lyrics, watch films, read neruda, garcia-marquez, and commune in new friendship. can't wait.

i'm off to run now with danI. Gotta put some orishas on my ipod! but this sec i can put on a pot of detox tea to steep.

bruun, i SEE you hydrating, waking up, and being uplifted in pure, glowing energy. you'll plant your grasses and BEYOND!

abrazOnes!
xo rudy roo dee