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just got my own bac!

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    just got my own bac!

    we didn't have salt on snow, but we roasted marshmallows on the woodstove fire, after playing in the dojo for an hour. there, garvey and i did our brief 'fire-horse' and 'sit on mamma's feet three feet in the air' routines. then several of the other partygoers (but no adults) lined up for their turns. i had been dying for a run this morning but couldn't fit it in. that served to partially fulfill my legs' yearning. by the end of that segment, everyone was lolling about on the sage tatami mats, having dully crashed from the cake we had eaten.

    god i hope the power stays on! everyone is sending us light vibes, right?

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      just got my own bac!

      toward the end of the party, it started to occur to me as a tempting idea to run out and get a bottle of wine. it would help me calm down (you know that adrenaline rush after a party at your own house?), and make me feel good, and keep me company. (i once fell off a year-and-a-half ride on the wagon after my (31st?) birthday party in my railroad flat in brooklyn, at five am, with a shandy (gingerale and beer, typical in trinidad)).

      but today, my gal next door came over, mellowed with me for a bit, and i lost interest in the notion of getting buzzed. baclofen is working! ten years later, at my very own son's fifth birthday party, i did not fall off my own personal high that i've so valiantly risen to. it's a marvelous feeling, this.

      and i don't even feel like taking off my panties.

      Comment


        just got my own bac!

        so happy to hear from you post-party, rudy. i was imagining the event all afternoon, as i covered plants and folded up chairs in preparation for the "storm"...(hope it's a lot of talk, as it has been before).

        i'll bet the maybe-gay ex bf would fix one of those generators in exchange for a cooked meal and some playtime with g. does he know it's g's 5th birthday?

        tip from a crone: when talking with bald men, focus on their eyes and you'll forget they're bald (or want to exit, depending on what your gut tells you). actually do that, regardless! eyes are the doorway to the soul. some other wise crone must'a said that.

        your spelling is immaculate lately. xomom

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          just got my own bac!

          the wood fire allows me to smoke inside, as i can blow it up the chimney. i gave up hiding my smoking from my son long ago. (mostly) full-disclosure here. (but i hide it from other children.)

          people at our party were so cool! all of the kids were cool sports, and the adults were magnificent! they used words like 'stealth' (not to describe a bomb, but to describe their own offspring), and eagerly took my notes of music they have to listen to.

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            just got my own bac!

            hi mom! i like the bald. i haven't felt it much, but i can imagine the pricky softness of it. these guys were cool, too! you would've loved them. all smarts and smiles through the eyes, straight from the heart.

            the snowstorm was fun! the roads by now are virtually impassable, but i trust everyone made it home safely by an hour ago. after some zooming about inside, upstairs and downstairs and in the lady's chamber, the children all of a sudden wanted to go outside. i happened to have just dug out all of our winter stuff, and it is still sitting in bins in the living room, so i handed out hats and gloves to the underprepared, and out they all poured (there were 13 children!). snowball fight! sledding on feet! snow on tongue!

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              just got my own bac!

              the g-bone wants cake! be right back.

              mary invited me over to her house tomorrow to take a bath in their enormous tub. she said to look for the brown house with blue trim (nice!), and the covered stone-wall walkway leading to the door (double nice!). see, i don't have hot water, and mightn't have anyway by tomorrow (are your fingers and toes still crossed?!), so she hit on a brilliant excuse to proceed with our friendship. i've always liked her so much. and her man, uf!, that bald hunk is sooo lovely! (and they live only ten minutes away...) he wasn't sure if he was invited for the fun, and i said i'd leave that up to mary. (actually, they're taking my son and their daughter -classmates- to the harvest festival at school. so i'll be bathing alone, alas.)

              Comment


                just got my own bac!

                i am starting to feel loagy-tired, which is nice. i took a bronkaid this morning and that really helped. i was slightly unnerved at how fun i was noticing it to be, but only for a second; i mostly enjoyed it thoroughly. i just can't get enough coffee down to do its job, don't like to gulp it like some do, all day, lots. (my gulping days are over entirely.)

                the wind is howling and the wet snow is pelting against the windows, but only intermittently. continuously, i have the gentle purrs of my fire to my right as i sit here and type. i suppose it's time to go, though. g wants my attention. he's playing with his new tech-deck ramps, naked on the oriental rug that was in my brother's dorm room in college. (it has been washed several times since, by me in the driveway with a hose and a stiff broom, in my lace thong.)

                glad tidings to you all on this fine hudson-valley evening. i do hope i'll be back again real soon to see what everyone is up to.

                oop. i gotta go bleed the hot water heater! g wants to take a bath! he never wants to take a bath!

                bye bye.
                ru

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                  just got my own bac!

                  hoooorayyyy!

                  the snow is supposed to stop at ten pm! tonight! they had been saying up to two feet! i am so PSYCHED! yes the harvest festival will go on! yes, so might the power remain!!!!

                  i live a charmed life!

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                    just got my own bac!

                    logy instead of loagy

                    snow has stopped here in vermont after less than an inch. yahoo!

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                      just got my own bac!

                      frickin' awesome, mom! it seems to be slowing down here, too. just big, slow flakes, not too close together, and the breeze is very gentle. no more pattering on the eastern windows.

                      i ate a bit of cake today, but not much else. i'm drinking apple cider with seltzer (i couldn't open the next kombucha). i guess i'm getting my sugar in me today (might as well come in some form!). mary didn't end up bringing me the bottle of wine that she had mentioned (before i told her my news, and all about this place; sounds like she'll check it out, and has some family to recommend it to already). she didn't bring it, and i am so glad about that; i'd be drinking it if it were here. but it's not and i'm not fleeing this happy feeling borne of my very full day.

                      i'm'a hop over to wordperfect and write some stuff. if the power blips or goes, i'll lose what i put here, and, as you can imagine, i've got lots to get down in ink...

                      Comment


                        just got my own bac!

                        rudyb, so glad you had such a nice party. and hi mom! glad you are not getting buried in snow. seems so crazy to be saying that in october doesn't it?

                        until tomorrow...

                        dg
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                        One day at a time.

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                          just got my own bac!

                          A fine finish to the day with my son was provided in part by Mr. Bean. Classic Mr. Bean. In this episode, he toyed with the morning wake-up alarms. (he dropped the first into a glass of water. still asleep, he plugged the next one -a hose to dispense water onto his foot- with his toe.) He finally got up and puttered himself awake around his rented room (which is very nicely laid out, i might add), until fifteen minutes before he was due at the dentist’s office. He threw his clothes into the car and got dressed on his drive there in his very-mini yellow cooper.

                          (bruun, there's your lighthearted viewing fun! it's very relaxing; there's no music and almost no dialogue, and the whole while you'll be laughing from your guts.)

                          When we went up to tuck in, my fingers were positively itching to type about the things I had just read. First up is a quote from Anne Lamott’s bird by bird.

                          ‘Writing is about learning to pay attention and to communicate what is going on. Now, if you ask me, what’s going on is that we’re all up to here in it, and probably the most important thing is that we not yell at one another. ‘

                          She goes on to discuss compassion, and how we must deepen on the connectedness among ourselves -we must see each other’s divinity, in essence. but we must not neglect to extend that same generous grace to ourselves. Only in having self compassion are we able to see people for the inherent good that they embody, and are thereby able to portray characters in such a way that others will relate to them. when this happens, ‘the eye-motes go click and you hear the tribal tones of voice resonate, and there it is –you recognize them’
                          . Good characters come from seeing others through compassionate eyes.

                          She goes on, ‘There is ecstasy in paying attention. You can get into a kind of Wordsworthian openness to the world, where you see in everything the essence of holiness, a sign that God is implicit in all of creation. …Anyone who wants to can be surprised by the beauty or pain of the natural world, or the human mind and heart, and can try to capture just that – the details, the nuance, what is. If you start to look around, you will start to see. ‘


                          Yes, my dears
                          , there is a book for every occasion, every moment, every mood! Seems like lately an awful lot, I get just what I need just when I need it: the snow is already leaving and the power stayed on; I have a new friend in the foothills of the mountain, only twelve minutes away, and she has a big bathtub with hot water to go in it; my winter duds were un-earthed from their caves in the wall just before the storm and a passel of children visited today.

                          (hey, word corrects your spelling! i had tried for 'passle'.)

                          Well, it’s getting late and I may just be talked out. Thanks for being here with me, around my woodstove in a snow globe.

                          ! hasta la proxima nevada*!

                          ****rudy ****

                          * snowstorm

                          Comment


                            just got my own bac!

                            ...one last thing: wish me a warm house, like maybe the temperature will go back up outside to around the fifties (that would be twenty degrees or so). you see, there's a circuit connection box thingie on the boiler wires (it's a boiler, not a furnace, afterall; the fixer guy gave me a lesson -most of which i've forgotten), and every time the furnace switches on it starts humming very loudly. i've been going down to the cellar and baging on it with a stick of wood, and that stops it until the next time. but last i was down there, i noticed an electrical smoke smell, so i think i'll go turn off the emergency-off switch, just so's my house doesn't burn down in the night. which means it will get cold in here, even with the woodstove going (it's a drafty old house that's insulated with horsehair, most of which has sunk to within a foot of the sill). so could you please send your 98 degree breath my way. whisper some sweet words into it, too, wouldja?

                            nitey nite! don't let the bed bugs bite! wear soft cotton, or silk, or wear nothing at all! isolde, i hope you're swimming along spookily at your party!

                            zzz xo rudy

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                              just got my own bac!

                              oh, and today, at the party, not a single balloon popped.

                              Comment


                                just got my own bac!

                                Horse hair? No wonder you have mice.

                                I am totally in favour of organic insulation (straw is slowly making it on to the scene as is sheep wool), they take little in the way of preparation, can usually be sourced locally, and so their carbon input is considerably decreased. But, by virtue of the fact they are organic, they necessarily decompose (even with pre-treatment) and therefore need replacing periodically.

                                I don't know how old your house is, but horse hair hasn't generally been used for about 80 years (although it varies with some more rural areas). Do you know if it's ever been added to or replaced since your property was built?

                                Even when it's new, it's not a particularly good insulator. No wonder your house is cold and drafty.

                                Oh, congrats on the party. I'm sure it will live long in the memory of all who attended. A famous success!
                                "My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." Jack Kerouac

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