just got my own bac!

[ifulovelife2]

just got my own bac!

LadyLush;1207552 wrote:

Love you guys and DG, the virgin vs coconut on Brenda still makes me grin!

Yeah, I didn't get that.

Rudy, well done on the ciggies! Yay!

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

Just dropping by to say hallo, and congrats Rude, you're doing so well with this quitting business! How did you ever get addicted in the first place, with such positive energy and power? Aha, dang, same thing happened to me and THEN I became morose and depressed. I see a cycle here, same news, new day.

I'm a middle too!

[bleep]

just got my own bac!

Good luck with the smokes Rudy! Alas, I'm on 40 a day and hating every one except the first. It's a strange, strange habit...

[spacebebe01]

just got my own bac!

WOW Rudy you sound great, Im getting all envious of you stopping smoking and want to do it myself, do you think it would be too soon for me to try, mind you Ive been using that old chestnut for years, I cant think about giving up smoking until Ive got my drinking sorted, then carried on smoking and then relapsed again and again so got no where, UNTIL NOW. Im still taking the antabuse and today my mum said she wanted to buy me some more antabuse so that would be enough for the next 3-4 months so that would be sorted. Im still waiting for my bac to arrive, is it ok to take bac and antabuse at the same time? does anybody know, I dont want to stop the antabuse until I feel secure in not drinking, I dont want to risk it. Maybe I should just wait with the smoking to see how things pan out, I dont really know what to do about it.

[SlipperyPete]

just got my own bac!

Good job with the smokes, Rudy. I remember at first thinking that I wouldn't be able to be happy without cigarettes haha. Luckily that thinking went away quickly! I rarely have a craving any more, but what's really important for me to remember is that all it takes is one cig to pick the habit back up.

[Doggygirl]

just got my own bac!

rudyb - awesome news on the hypnosis and not smoking!!!!! :yougo: i bet you feel terrific physically and mentally!!!! how was your run today?

ladylush - brenda might be a coconut but i'm pretty sure "virgin" is out of the question.

dg

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

From my post a few days back: I have been sharing the good news of bac with a dear friend who volunteers at the management level of a large hospital. He wants to learn more. Watch out.

RA is going to be here tomorrow for a two-day visit! Please tell me exactly the best place(s) to direct him, a retired therapist/psychological evaluator for corporations, so he can get a clear picture of baclofen as an effective tool for healing al addiction.

Thanks!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

mom, that's great. i'll bump the consolidated baclofen information thread; that's the best place to start!

bebe, leave the smoke quit for when you're secure and happy in your drink quit. going without ANY 'treats' at all is kinda sucky at first, and you don't want to put yourself in the headspace to give up giving up bad habits all together because you feel so deprived. really, just wait on the smokes. i did, and i am glad i did.

i may be stating the obvious, but i am sure that the reason it has been more or less a breeze for me, this smoke quit, is entirely because of the hypnotherapy. it's as if the guy took a cerebral vacum cleaner and sucked out the notion that i like to smoke. it's truly amazing, and a clear testament to the power of the subconscious mind to govern our actions. i do, however, find myself today feeling a tiny tug of want, so i'll be sure to listen to the cd tonight. i am certain that that want is triggered by my first commutes to and fro work since quitting; those were traditional smoke-treat times, big time. they were my assertion of freedom before and after captivity. but i got through it today without any inner struggle; like i said, just a little tug, almost as if there were a mischevious imp in the bottom right corner of the way-back of my mind, saying, 'c'mon, don't'cha wanna inhale, suck and inhale and feel good?!' i ignored it and it went away rather quickly, only came back once or twice, just to check.

the most awesome news is that i have absolutely no desire to smoke weed, either. as you may recall, i had gotten into an uncomfortable place with it over the last couple of weeks, felt like i was sinking into a new addiction (i may not have reported it here, but i did on bobsled's thread), so the magic man said some words about that, too, and it really worked! phew. i used to love to smoke before a run, but now i love running just as much without it. what a blessing.

pete, i didn't know that you really, actually smoked. that's great that you put it down and kept it there, sounds like without help, too. impressive. thanks for the reminder that it only takes one. i was thinking about that too, at some point, and it's so true.

bleep, hi! sorry to hear you're still up at 40! shit, in zim there must be some kinda hypnotist/shaman who could suck it out of your head.

doggy, thanks for asking. my run was fanshagtastic yesterday! i had the foresight to pack all my gear so i could run in the town where my son had his playdate, all but the 2 lb weights i so adore. it was cool, though, as i was inspired to run sprints instead, which i rarely do. god, what a high! it was so empowering: i ran really fast. and i did that along the waterfront where i row, where i had a great row on saturday, the last of the season. (next year will be so much better, as i'll be paddling along with more advanced folk, and the frustration quotient will be greatly reduced.)

bruun, i think i got addicted to smokes because drinking was boring. drinking was really, really boring, so i smoked both cigs and weed to perk it up. i've always had abundant energy -mental and physical- and i think that my addictions developed partly in response to not knowing how to handle that, so i decided to kill some of it off. great strategy, huh?

guess i'll go get my son. here's to hoping i can keep it together with him tonight - lately i lose my temper, and then feel horribly. i think i'll balance out soon enough, though. whereas i'm catching glimpses of equilibrium directly related to not clutching onto altering my mind or sucking down my energy, i'm also feeling a bit deprived; not only do i have no treat to enjoy, i can't even think of a treat i would want to enjoy. (except certain books, but somehow that's not the same, not as visceral a thrill. and oh yeah, a good shag would be nice, but i'm not even gonna touch that topic at the mo!)

i'll catch you all on the other threads. thanks so much, as always, for checking in here.

xo rude rudy

[Doggygirl]

just got my own bac!

fanshagtastic??? :H must have been an awesome run!! i can hardly wait to see what brenda thinks of the new word fanshagtastic! :H sounds like you are doing great with not smoking!!! i should find a good hypnotherapist to help me with my sugarcarby addiction.... :upset: why oh why did i let that stuff back into my life!!! it's as bad as al for me...

wow the last row of the season.....was that a bit sad?

just wait - you will be sprinting like the wind before you know it!

dg

[ifulovelife2]

just got my own bac!

Doggygirl;1208577 wrote: fanshagtastic??? :H must have been an awesome run!! i can hardly wait to see what brenda thinks of the new word fanshagtastic! :H

Well, not wishing to appear pedantic, but I suppose it really ought to be Fan-shagging-tastic or fanshaggingtastic in the same way you'd say fan-f**king-tastic not fan-f**k-tastic.

OK, having read that back, just to avoid confusion, the *s were in place of the letters 'u' and 'c', to make the word 'fuck' but I used the*s in order to avoid writing the word 'fuck' because 'fuck' might upset people and the last thing I'd ever want to do is upset anyone.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ok, folks, who started all this talk about spelling and hyphenating? who cares, really? what kind of person thinks about that shIt?

i don't know if it's baclofen anymore, or just my own particular brand of quirkiness, but i often wake up in the middle of the night with a very specific thing or two in my head. this 1:42 am, it was the following song, and how music has the power to transmute all the crap that crowds our minds, for which i am very grateful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51kSVJ9BbTo[/video]]Orishas - Stress - YouTube

it's not one of my favorite favorites, but it is only a few away from the current short list. i like the way the voice skips down a staircase (that's the image that comes to view, anyway).

reggie, you there? i wonder if you'll like it.

good day, all!
xo rudy

[spacebebe01]

just got my own bac!

Just checked out the music, sounds good but I wish Id kept up the spanish lessons, thats a thought Ill have to put somewhere, a possible new hobbie for the future

I think today is a happy day

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

rudy said,"ok, folks, who started all this talk about spelling and hyphenating? who cares, really? what kind of person thinks about that shIt?"

your mother?

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

You know what Rudy, I think I did that too, used booze to calm my energy because I didn't know how to deal with it. I used to work out 2 hours a day and then have a few beers for dinner. What a way to go, no wonder I'm sunk deep in the funk pit now. I am looking up, holding on and knowing this is temporary, this shithole I'm feeling stuck in. I need time away from booze and I'm starting to get it. I just keep my eyes on the future because the now is so depressing. I know living in the present and learning to appreciate all that is here now is the real way to go, and I try that too, but shit its hard when every time I wake up or become conscious of a thought or a song, it's a sad, mournful one. I have these old songs I don't even like, I remember from being a teen hearing them on the radio over and over. Lyrics like this one, without the positive note at the end I never recall, I just hear over and over:
"I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all."

And that's probably the most uplifting one, the rest are all shit, pathetic sad songs like "I learned the truth at seventeen, that love was meant for beauty queens, and high school girls with clear skin smiles" blahblahblah.

I really need some new uplifting stuff. Too bad I can't click on your links Rudy, due to work blocks of Youtube, of course they'd all be Spanish so they wouldn't help cuz I don't understand anything but some curse words in that language and "no me moleste mas" and "mas leche table 6 por favor" - The good news is that I have a new MP3 player on the way so will be inspired to do something soon as I get more energy and am not drinking (crossing fingers and hoping to die).
:h

[Isolde]

just got my own bac!

I feel ya, Bruun. I have been deep in the funk pit for a good 2 months now, off and on. I've been trying to claw my way out, and everytime I think I've managed to do so, I end up backsliding down into it.

I'm working on keeping the positive in mind. I do find some things each day to be grateful for or happy about, but the mood never lasts. I've been trying to fake it 'til I make it, but again, each time I feel like I've made it and I'm back out, I slip back down. It's brutal and I don't know what to do. Throwing more supplements at it didn't help, titrating down on bac hasn't helped (though thankfully I am still indifferent), eating right and working out only help temporarily. I still feel the best when I'm leaving the gym. I wish I could carry that mood with me all day. I wish I could get up every morning before work (I'm lying awake by 4:30 every morning anyway) and go for a run, but my knees aren't having it.

Tomorrow after work I'm trying the next thing lined up in the aresenal - hot yoga. I checked out the place during lunch today. The woman I spoke with was very helpful and when I told her about my knees she said that one of the instructors there had really bad knees and credits yoga for that no longer being the case anymore. That sounds promising to me. And as far as I'm concerned, nothing is more cleansing than sweating your ass off. Of course, I'll keep up my upper body weight training routine in the meantime.

My theme song right now is Down In It by Nine Inch Nails. Part of the chorus is (simply), "I was up above it. Now I'm down in it". But this is the part ringing true for me now:

I used to be so big and strong.
I used to know my right from wrong.
I used to never be afraid.
I used to be somebody.
I used to have something inside.
Now it's just this hole that's open wide.
I used to want it all.
I used to be somebody.
I'll cross my heart and hope to die.
But the needle's already in my eye.
And all the world's weight is on my back and I don't even know why.
And what I used to think was me is just a fading memory.
I looked him right in the eye and said "goodbye."

There ya go, Bruun. It's even got "cross my heart and hope to die" in it. Luckily, I happen to really like this song. And I think I will blast it on my way home from work today and use it as some kind of backwards motivation.

I'm pondering giving tryptophan another go. But I'm holding off for now. I don't think a lack of serotonin is my issue.