just got my own bac!

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

rudy, you are in my thoughts and heart today, as you are every day. upon reading reggie's posts, i was inspired to "look him up" and found this in one of his earlier posts, something i believe in as well.

Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character, that becomes your destiny.

(reggie's avatar could be a ghost-cousin of yours.)

watch your thoughts and trust yourself. know that you are not alone. big hug, mom

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

aww, thanks so much guys! bug cyber hugs all around, right back atcha.

mom, i agree about reggie being some kind of cousin; i think he comes from your side of the family! reggie, thanks so much for the compliment. i like those, especially from you.

speaking of thoughts going into reality, on my run just now (which was fantabulous and long overdue!), i was dreaming about working at g's school again, and how rewarding that would be. maybe i'm just trading in karma right now, and soon i'll have a windfall of incessant cash, such that i can quit my current job (which i actually really like), and work where g goes to school. the good news, reggie, is that there's no chance i'll lose him, but i will be only having him half time, eventually. so to make up for some of that absence, how nice it would be to work there again (only reason i don't is 'cause they pay terribly). it sounds like their spanish program needs some inspiration, and i'd love to help with the writing (minus spelling, though i'd learn something by doing that, wouldn't i?). anywhoot, an idea worth dreaming about , i think.

ok, speaking of, i'm off to get my boy. you know, i'm happy to report that today i felt a thousand times better than i did yesterday. i'm hopeful and i rest assured that i'll have my house, my life, and my peace all back in place, all mine, very soon.

xoxo rudy

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

so glad you got to run today. i'm holding the vision for you of a wic (windfall of incessant cash) so you can work using your creative and expressive nature to enrich the lives of many, many young people.

about to have chili soup and tortilla chips topped with melted cheese, so hasta luego, mihita! xox mom

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

I so want to be part of your family! :l

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

aww, bruun, that's so cute. i know, aren't i lucky?! shit, i'm trying to get over to your thread, but i know i had something to add here... oh yeah, mom, what exactly were you referring to about reggie's avatar? i think i didn't really get it afterall. (the avatar is the picture, right? i love love love the current one, reggie. don't change it yet! and that's so cute that you put that note in your sig line.) regardless of what the beloved crone really meant, we are all one big happy family here: ghosts, cousins, bruuns, cosmic mamas, and rich daddies who don't share until they're dead but only if you're divorced from the parasite. (did i just type that? how crass! but i can joke about it 'cause humor is a salve, and anyway, the only way he got rich was from his parents being generous, so he deserves some ribbing for being rude, at the very least.)

oh yeah, and the parasite was a prick face fuck again tonight, correcting my parenting as he loves to do, right at bedtime and in front of the boy, from the bottom of the stairs as we were settling in. (like that the guests stayed too late -seven pm, oh my!) naturally, he'll get an email from me tomorrow. thanks for all who have encouraged hope in me by pointing out that this, too, shall pass. sometimes i lose sight of that, so please feel free to remind me any time.

i will be turning forty two on monday, december twelve, so i'm having a birthday party at six pm, here, on december 10. pm me if you want directions. you don't need to bring any presents (unless they're gold coins, or secret, undetectable death potions for lowly leeches... no, wait, that would make my son sad, dammit).

ok, onward to other telas (threads).

hasta manaNa, familiares.

xo rudy

oh, reggie, i LOVE david bowie! thanks for reminding me. (though i hear he's a terrible (waitress) tipper, imagine that!) i think nina simone does a (beautiful) rendition of that same song. that video makes me want to be a singer in a bar, seducing the audience with perfectly-intoned words. sheesh. (and when i watch saturday night live, you can guess what kinds of missed-dreams i imagine ~ now that was my true calling!)

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

oh yeah, mom, what exactly were you referring to about reggie's avatar?

the one i saw (now gone) was a stick figure something like yours, but in black and white.

[redhead77]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1218199 wrote:
red, the only thing that i did recently to cause him to bug out was to tell him i'd give him no child support, under any circumstances, and so i'd only file with a 49/51% agreement, thereby leaving him without legal recource to more money from me. he has moved into the house in order to drive home the need to settle this case (via giving him even more money). the exact way i'll wiggle out of this remains to be seen (if i haven't made that clear already!), but slide out of it i will, somehow, some way.

.

Yes, you will slide out of it! Hang in there. I can't even imagine how incredibly difficult it must be for you right now. You have many, many positive collective thoughts coming your way! It will work out, Ru. Just keep those emails to him coming. Don't back down. :l

[Bruunhilde]

just got my own bac!

Happy birthday Ru!!! You have alot to celebrate this year, and the leach will be gone well before your next bday. WELL before...

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

thanks, gals! yes it is difficult, red, and yes he WILL be gone, bruun. i'm plotting for the end of next week. anybody game to join me in that?!

i was about to belabour the details (oops, english spelling there, but backing up is hard for me with my one finger), but instead i'll just tell you that this demon gets no ju ju from me. i'm not stirring and re-stirring negativity around who he is and what crazy thing he's done of late. nope. i'm breaking that habit now! (thanks mom, our chat on my commute was very helpful!) but i'll surely still need to vent from time to time! ...for now, every time he does something, i might need to spew it out before i can move on, so bear with me. ...anywhoot, as i was saying to mom earlier, sometimes it can be hard to stay in a positive place, to keep attracting what i want, and not what i don't, according to where i put my attention. takes practice, i suppose. so that i am doing, watch:

by the end of next week, i will have my house back to myself, and i will have an agreement that i can live with that will lead to my immediate and just divorce. the heap of money i will have paid him for the building (waaaay more than he'd get trying to sell it on his own, unless i were to throw in the 3 acres required by zoning, which i offered him once, and at which offer he sneezed, the idiot), will pay itself back in under a decade, and i shall make this property my own again. my property and my life will become a perfect manifestation of all that i believe in and all that i stand for. life for me will be about: peaceful harmony, connection and sharing the beauty of existence, sobriety, nature, exercise, love. all, every day, as i live and breathe.

thank you for indulging me on all of this, clearly i need to lay it out after all the mental hashing i've given it. i guess i feel like here on this thread i'm communing and communicating with a bunch of smart people who care, and it means a lot to have you as a sounding board, as a cheering squad. as a fucking cosmic militia, mis compadres! ~muchisimas gracias hasta la infinidad y el cielo~

guess i'll go get my boy now. so nice to have an evening when the beast -help me think of a better name for him; that one is so negative; let's find one that carries innocuity (is that a word?)- ...when the beast won't come barging in before teaching class, if any students show up! (last night, none of his four came, and he came in early, and it was dreadful, as you know.) so nice to sit, relaxed by a lit fire (finally!) and jaunt out to get my son when i feel like it, without the pressure of his judgemental vibration pressing down on my back, on my mind. but, as you know, i'm getting thicker-skinned to that, so that, less and less i'll be compelled to tell you about it.

...but, here i go anyway, finishing up after this major verbal purge (better than puking from too much vodka!), to go get my son, who i have every reason to trust is happily playing with his buddies of all ages at his magical school.

love y'all! see you on the flip side of the next great adventure.

xo rudy

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

ooopsie, evening plan for going out with son toppled when he fell asleep behind me in the car. just as well; as we were setting out, i had a small panic at feeling i had given waaaay too much detail about my divorce in that last post. i'm sure none of the ex's friends are reading this -as he has no friends- but just to be safe, i've deleted some of the excessive detail. phew. glad my boy went to sleep, for other reasons as well: he needs the rest, and i need the time alone in my house! so here i am.

[sjm]

just got my own bac!

my property and my life will become a perfect manifestation of all that i believe in and all that i stand for. life for me will be about: peaceful harmony, connection and sharing the beauty of life, sobriety, nature, exercise, love. all, every day, as i live and breathe.

yes! and so it is. awesome, mijita! con un abrazo, mama

[LadyLush]

just got my own bac!

RudyB;1219424 wrote: ooopsie, evening plan for going out with son toppled when he fell asleep behind me in the car. just as well; as we were setting out, i had a small panic at feeling i had given waaaay too much detail about my divorce in that last post. i'm sure none of the ex's friends are reading this -as he has no friends- but just to be safe, i've deleted some of the excessive detail. phew. glad my boy went to sleep, for a other reasons as well: he needs the rest, and i need the time alone in my house! so here i am.

If you ever feel you have given out too much detail that can be used against you, friends will surround you!
Gosh, 42 Rudy? You are still a child in your words of wisdom to me. You are an old soul but a young heart that touches my soul!
You are very blessed!
I am sorry to say that I get confused with Reggie and Rusty. Reggie, I believe you are the stick figure: darn I miss that delete key Avatar.

Love to all,
A very happy Friday for me:l

LL

[spacebebe01]

just got my own bac!

Hi Rudy,

"my life will become a perfect manifestation of all that i believe in and all that i stand for. life for me will be about: peaceful harmony, connection and sharing the beauty of life, sobriety, nature, exercise, love. all, every day, as i live and breathe."


thanks for reminding me of what is important to me.

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

awww, shucks. thanks, gals. but as i've now read that quote from me two times -greatly flattered all the while- i gotta say, let's swap that third 'life' for 'existence', such that it reads:

my life will become a perfect manifestation of all that i believe in and all that i stand for. life for me will be about: peaceful harmony, connection and sharing the beauty of existence, sobriety, nature, exercise, love.
all, every day, as i live and breathe."

thanks bunches for caring that i said what i meant. !les quiero!

[RudyB]

just got my own bac!

just thought i'd interrupt my entertainment for a second to report that, for the first time in aaaaages, i am watching a film! it's called factotum, about a drunk writer played by matt dillon, and his new girlfriend (so far), who is also a drinker, played by lily tomlin. it's so good and funny, as tragic as it is. (i've only seen fifteen minutes, so don't hold me to it.) and they rock as actors, especially her. (and marisa tomei comes in later.)

...just in case anybody out there needs some friday night (est) plans.