Although cannabis and Xanax have allowed me 15 months' time away from alcohol, I now admit that these drugs have outlived their harm-reduction role and are causing me unpleasant side effects. I am also still an addict, as others pointed out (thanks Murph and others, I didn't forget your advice). This leads me back to baclofen, because my psychological desire for a high each night is overwhelming without any substances. The desire is partly due to my years-old compulsion for an escape from depression and loneliness, but it is also the powerful desire for a chemical high that all alcoholics/addicts feel. I now find myself actively thinking about alcohol again and the good feelings of being intoxicated, which is a very precarious situation. Many people here have found relief from this craving by using baclofen, and I would be foolish not to give it another try.
Luckily I have an addiction specialist who has shown a willingness to prescribe up to 100 mg per day, and I have been honest with him about my other drug use. To minimise insomnia due to taking a lot before bed, which led to me giving up on my first high-dose attempt, I will spread the dose out into multiple smaller doses through the day, as suggested by members here. Hopefully the break from alcohol may also allow a medium dose to work for me, lower than typical "switch" doses. I have said elsewhere that I don't think baclofen is "the cure" for everyone, but I have also said that it appears to be the treatment that currently offers the highest chances for success in stopping overwhelming cravings.
I also believe that non-chemical measures are very important in addressing life problems, and so have decided to give AA or SMART Recovery meetings another try, aswell as to persue new interests, travel, and other positive changes. I may even try CBT again if I can find someone I feel comfortable with. Baclofen alone probably can't relieve my long-standing depression, and the antidepressants I was prescribed over many years failed to have any positive impact.
Best wishes to everyone, and I will report back with the ongoing results.
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