The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

[redhead77]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

One last thing on my way out. My first priorities are to myself, my new found sobriety, and to my precious children. If I have time for other things after, I will decide how to utilize that time. If that earns me the title of whatever negative label you have, so be it. Since were talking about who "deserves" that title and who doesn't, I do deserve it. That won't change anytime soon.

[Rusty]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Redhead, very well said. Thank you.

Sheri, I should have said I RARELY miss an opportunity to congratulate someone on significant AF time. Please accept my very belated congratulations, as I find your posts intelligent, thoughtful and always empathetic.:l Please don't be hurt because someone didn't congratulate you on your AF time. I travel all over the world and work about 60 hours a week so every now and then, I'm bound to miss someone. Sorry!

Coal-I think you owe Americans here an apology, as I wholeheartedly agree with what Red said. Hopefully you're not going through a dry drunk stage. It's great that you have 100 days AF. :goodjob: Part of being sober is taking ownership of your mistakes and being accountable for your actions. Read your posts again and re-think your comments. I've done that a lot in the last year....taken ownership, been accountable, and apologized to the people I offended when I was blitzed on AL. It was cathartic and very well worth it.

[Isolde]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

All hope is not lost in the Meds section

You know what Coal? I'd like to thank you for starting this thread. I think that it has proven a very important point about the nature of people here at MWO, and particularly in the Meds section (which quite frankly has been going through a bit of a rough patch lately!).
You called out specific individuals and pretty much insulted America, and yet in response, you got quite a large outpouring of support, some of it directly from the people that were called out (some of whom are Americans). A lot of people were able to see through the negativity (however much it may not have been warranted) and be there to offer you support and empathy and also just to tell you how great they think you are. If that doesn't show the true nature of the people here at MWO, then I don't know what does.

There is ALWAYS support to be had here, and I'm sure there always will be. Despite whatever chaos may be happening concurrently.

[Rusty]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Is,

You rock. I couldn't have said it better. You are a woman of true class. Hope I am able to meet you at the Meds Meet-Up in October, coordinated by our wild and wacky funster Neva, in October. :-)

[Doggygirl]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

I love your post to Is. Very wise and very true. This really is an amazing community despite the eb and flow of chaos from time to time.

Coal, I was looking at the thread title again, and I don't know if this is relevant or not, but it occurred to me. So FWIW, here goes. Your serenity will never come from what others are doing. It will come from what YOU are doing. Look deep inside my friend. That's the place where change will make a difference for you.

DG

[one2many]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Seethepony;1107510 wrote: I don't bother with GD because I don't see that point in Shouting out about another super sober sunday or any of that bollocks. Shout out? It's a load of wind. Or the ever-present Army Thread. WTF is that about?!
I'm also not interested in reading the same crap over and over again. "I held my breath for 600 days and then I fucked up and now I'm back to square one, I feel like shit..."
I tried talking about baclofen there, and my successes with it, and a group of harpies attacked me with their handbags. Fuck that.
So that's why I don't hang out there. There are some good souls who can flit effortlessly here and there, and I have nothing but admiration for them. But I have nothing to contribute there. Me saying "You can do it!" would be bullshit. Because I don't think, most of the time, you can.

Army Harpie here..

SOBER Army Harpie..

Celebrating people's milestones is a great boost to their willpower, which you have admitted you have none of...what a pity. Maybe if you had, you would be celebrating milestones of your own instead of putting down those who are doing better than you are.

NOT everyone needs to take medication to stop drinking, there is more than one way to skin a pony...

[Seethepony]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

"Celebrating people's milestones is a great boost to their willpower"

Yeah, kids love those badges that say "I am 3"

[Bruunhilde]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Wow CF, I had no idea you felt Americans have no manners and are expected to fire on you at first call. That's disappointing. I won't bother to call out alot of non-Americans with poor manners here. Thanks Redh for speaking out on that.

CF, I think you should be thrilled you tested GG. It means you have a great tool in your toolbox! Don't go off the wagon just to test it out, it's not worth it. Why on earth would you? 100 days is alot to be proud of. Or was it 1000? Either number seems like a super human accomplishment to my ears.

You do sound like a lion in a cage, have you ever considered relocating for a few years, just to try out your wings? If you're married, just separate physically for a while to let this happen. Expansion of mind comes with change, and I can see the world around you hasn't changed much since 1640 or so, at least in terms of socially acceptable behaviors. I have relocated three times and each time felt refreshed, challenged, changed, excited.

Exercise helps, but I suspect your lion is like my lion, pacing around the cage wondering "is this ALL there is, really?"... that's what has caused me to move and move and I'm ready, past due, to move right now.

Interesting that there are no female alcoholics where you live? Is that possible? Couldn't they be hiding it very well.

Also, I don't post much in GD because there's not much back and forth there, just alot of status updates from millions of people, so I keep to certain threads. I have alot less time to cruise MWO lately so if I've left you feeling less than supported, it's because I'm just not here much - plus, you're doing so well on the LO (which hasn't done a thing for me, after all this time), I didn't think you were struggling like some of us. I'm still trying to find DAY 1 AF again. I think the posting on the GD is helpful for people who count the days and it helps them see how well they've done in the past and that they are def not alone.

At least you didn't pick up a drink last night when you were having such a crappy day. That's something to celebrate.

[Bruunhilde]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Seethepony;1107791 wrote: "Celebrating people's milestones is a great boost to their willpower"

Yeah, kids love those badges that say "I am 3"

That rudeness could only come from an American.

[one2many]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Seethepony;1107791 wrote: "Celebrating people's milestones is a great boost to their willpower"

Yeah, kids love those badges that say "I am 3"

Hey Pony,

How much sober time have you got???:H

[moglor]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

I posted a few times in other forums, and I got several nice PMs thanking me for participating outside the Meds forum. What I did find, though, was that I had a lot of trouble keeping up with both Meds and the other forums, since they are quite high traffic. Additionally on the GD forum, there's a lot of people who seem to be going around in circles, and I struggle to understand their motivations and disinterest in trying bac when so many of us have shown that baclofen really does work. I realize, however, that baclofen is not for everyone, and peoples' willpower, motivation, and depth of illness various tremendously.

When I see these peoples' never-ending struggles, it's difficult for me to comment without also commenting on my own experience; I was going around in circles until I discovered baclofen. But like we on the Meds board don't appreciate people coming in and telling us baclofen is "wrong," they on the GD and other boards also don't like us going in and telling them our way is "right."

Ultimately, we have different forums for a reason. Not everyone is interested in the same discussion, and everyone is free to read or not read, post or not post, to whatever discussion they feel is appropriate for them.

I wasn't originally going to comment on the anti-American tirade, but I wanted to make some semi-related comments. I'm well aware of how Americans are perceived as loud, brash and forceful, having many friends in many countries. There are people here who could be seen as such, not because they are American, but because they have tremendous force of will, and have achieved what some might consider to be an impossible success: a miracle. I, too, would be one of those ones shouting from the rooftops, except I'm extremely introverted, and like to keep to myself. :-)

Coalfire, your struggles and your frustrations are understood, especially given your living situation. Like many others have suggested, it may be time to take a closer look at what's causing the substantial anger and desperation which you barely manage to keep restrained. Although you are 100 days sober, I fear that without significant lifestyle changes, you are at very high risk for relapse.

Best,
Moglor

[LittleLessBoozin']

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Coalfire:

Here's a perspective from a less well known poster than those you namecheck. My background is clearly different from yours, but I thought that perhaps a note of explanation might educate you regarding why some posters behave differently from others. I do not claim to speak for the posters you have namechecked, but I suspect that my (honest) response to your post may ring more than a few bells with others here.

I was surfing the threads listening to the various points of view and someone said something interesting. Every few weeks we have a congratulations post 1 year AF in the GD section. People make an effort to say congrats except for otter/tracyA/Bleep/Redhead/Murph/Ne ev/longshot// Ig/ladylush and a lot of others.No once have I seen you come out to play and reach out in another section of this forum(except for Brunn and cinders)

I have no idea what the 'GD section' is (General discussion?). I came to the drugs section of MWO because I came to be aware of baclofen and during my research on said drug, google led me here, and to some posters with whom I could identify. I am here partly for support, but mostly to learn from and share practical experience. Considering the fact that you later (bizarrely, frankly- more later) knock Americans for rudeness seems ironic, as your complaint appears to be based upon the fact that meds forum folks just aren't touchy feely enough- touch-feeliness probably being my biggest pet hate as a Brit living in the US.

Some of us are wired differently- we are more interested (most of the time) in hard answers/shared experiences than giving and receiving rounds of applause because we can stand up and say we drink too much in a smoke filled room.

I've never been to an AA meeting. I hope I never will (never say never, of course!). I respect your right to participate in physical or online AA-type events, but you should respect mine and others' rights in choosing not to. Similarly, why on earth should I go trolling around parts of this forum in which I have no interest, proactively seeking posters I have never 'met' online or in real life to whom who I should apparently offer insincere attaboys?

Yet the same doesnt apply in reverse. Not one of you would reach the switch without congrats coming in from all fronts.

What do you mean? Unless I'm mistaken, the whole /point/ of Baclofen therapy is that one reaches the switch 'effortlessly'. No happy dances, no emotional outpourings, you just stop drinking. This may lack the spiritual epiphany/euphoria/sense of acheivement that 100 days or a year AF the hard way affords one, but it also lacks, well, the hard way. We do not wish to spend the rest of our days dependent on alcohol, whether drinking it or wishing we were drinking it.

3 explanations.
1 self obsessed

Self OBSESSED? I'm trying to be dispassionate and polite here, but this is incredible. We keep ourselves to ourselves, never asking for anything from other parts of the forum. You come over here and gripe that we're not patting you on the back and paying more attention. And we're self obsessed. Oh-Kay....

2 Baclofen is so. OMG SO LIKE THE CURE!!!!!.......... everything is else is boring.

Actually, is that so wrong? I'm not 'cured' at this point, but I'm hoping I will be. Assuming that I do stop drinking effortlessly, I do not wish to write a big book. I do not wish to go to meetings to obsess about an alcoholic past I have left behind. Maybe I'll never get there with Baclofen. Maybe I'll end up doing things the traditional way after all. But if I don't, then thanks for the advice, and adios. I'll be moving on with my life now.

3You come from a cultural background where ..... how shall we say... manners are an optional extra...please discuss.

I've been living in the US for 5 years, and working here for 10 more. This stereotype is unfair, inaccurate, and says more about the Europeans who perpetuate it than about the Americans they insult with it.

Paul.

[redhead77]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

Bruunhilde;1107794 wrote: You do sound like a lion in a cage, have you ever considered relocating for a few years, just to try out your wings? If you're married, just separate physically for a while to let this happen. Expansion of mind comes with change, and I can see the world around you hasn't changed much since 1640 or so, at least in terms of socially acceptable behaviors. I have relocated three times and each time felt refreshed, challenged, changed, excited.

I agree you must feel trapped. Maybe that is where all this anger is coming from? Coal, I went back and looked at this thread. You have edited and deleted. You even deleted where you said you were going to edit and delete. It makes my frusteration look unjustified, over reactive, and totally out of context. I mean you actually used the term narcissists to explain people that don't post in the GD area. Narcissists? Many of us probably have narcissistic qualities. But Naricissim is a personality disorder. I don't think not posting in a section qualifies as a personality disorder.

In all fairness Coal, I understand how you must be feeling. I implore you to consider other's feelings when you single out and label individuals. It is hurtful. On a positive note, you ARE a kick ass limerick witer. I do hope you feel better soon. I agree with some of the other posts in that you shouldn't start drinking to take Naltrexone. One hundred days should earn you a MWO badge of honor. I agree too that you may be setting youself up for relapse with the anger. Remember the HALT thing. Don't ever get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. :l

EDIT: Ftr, I have had only 2 people from GD ever post on my thread. Only one I believe on my way up. That would be dear DG. If I remember correctly the only other was a lovely person named Lucky 2.0. I don't get angry that GD people don't post on my thread. I don't expect ANYONE to post on my thread. It is their choice.

[Seethepony]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

"That rudeness could only come from an American."

Come on! This is ridiculous!

The whole thread started as an irrational whining session by someone who has since retracted what they said.
I foolishly took the time to explain why I don't hang around congratulating total strangers on their random accomplishments.

For this, I was rewarded with the ghoulish line "There is more than one way to skin a pony" - to which I responded with a harmless one liner.

And then you come along and call me rude.

Over sensitive divvy you may be. Sherlock Holmes you are not.

[Chi]

The truth shall set you free(but first it shall piss you off)

LittleLessBoozin';1107863 wrote: Coalfire:

Here's a perspective from a less well known poster than those you namecheck. My background is clearly different from yours, but I thought that perhaps a note of explanation might educate you regarding why some posters behave differently from others. I do not claim to speak for the posters you have namechecked, but I suspect that my (honest) response to your post may ring more than a few bells with others here.

I was surfing the threads listening to the various points of view and someone said something interesting. Every few weeks we have a congratulations post 1 year AF in the GD section. People make an effort to say congrats except for otter/tracyA/Bleep/Redhead/Murph/Ne ev/longshot// Ig/ladylush and a lot of others.No once have I seen you come out to play and reach out in another section of this forum(except for Brunn and cinders)

I have no idea what the 'GD section' is (General discussion?). I came to the drugs section of MWO because I came to be aware of baclofen and during my research on said drug, google led me here, and to some posters with whom I could identify. I am here partly for support, but mostly to learn from and share practical experience. Considering the fact that you later (bizarrely, frankly- more later) knock Americans for rudeness seems ironic, as your complaint appears to be based upon the fact that meds forum folks just aren't touchy feely enough- touch-feeliness probably being my biggest pet hate as a Brit living in the US.

Some of us are wired differently- we are more interested (most of the time) in hard answers/shared experiences than giving and receiving rounds of applause because we can stand up and say we drink too much in a smoke filled room.

I've never been to an AA meeting. I hope I never will (never say never, of course!). I respect your right to participate in physical or online AA-type events, but you should respect mine and others' rights in choosing not to. Similarly, why on earth should I go trolling around parts of this forum in which I have no interest, proactively seeking posters I have never 'met' online or in real life to whom who I should apparently offer insincere attaboys?

Yet the same doesnt apply in reverse. Not one of you would reach the switch without congrats coming in from all fronts.

What do you mean? Unless I'm mistaken, the whole /point/ of Baclofen therapy is that one reaches the switch 'effortlessly'. No happy dances, no emotional outpourings, you just stop drinking. This may lack the spiritual epiphany/euphoria/sense of acheivement that 100 days or a year AF the hard way affords one, but it also lacks, well, the hard way. We do not wish to spend the rest of our days dependent on alcohol, whether drinking it or wishing we were drinking it.

3 explanations.
1 self obsessed

Self OBSESSED? I'm trying to be dispassionate and polite here, but this is incredible. We keep ourselves to ourselves, never asking for anything from other parts of the forum. You come over here and gripe that we're not patting you on the back and paying more attention. And we're self obsessed. Oh-Kay....

2 Baclofen is so. OMG SO LIKE THE CURE!!!!!.......... everything is else is boring.

Actually, is that so wrong? I'm not 'cured' at this point, but I'm hoping I will be. Assuming that I do stop drinking effortlessly, I do not wish to write a big book. I do not wish to go to meetings to obsess about an alcoholic past I have left behind. Maybe I'll never get there with Baclofen. Maybe I'll end up doing things the traditional way after all. But if I don't, then thanks for the advice, and adios. I'll be moving on with my life now.

3You come from a cultural background where ..... how shall we say... manners are an optional extra...please discuss.

I've been living in the US for 5 years, and working here for 10 more. This stereotype is unfair, inaccurate, and says more about the Europeans who perpetuate it than about the Americans they insult with it.

Paul.

:yeahthat:

Thanks Paul.