Hi All,
This is my first post on MWO and I want to say hello. I am a fair way into my baclofen journey (3 month titration) and am just getting around to a first post now. I mostly lurk around in the background of forums and read other people's interesting (and sometimes, not so... ;-) ) comments and experiences without contributing anything. I swore that I would break that bad habit and add my two cents - in the interest of offering my experience to anyone it might help and also to step into the light.
As a beginning:
I am a 48 year old male. I have been drinking and abusing every manner of drugs starting at about 12 years old. Continuously, though I had a 12 year hiatus from 28 yo to 40 yo. The first 3 years of the hiatus were a result of moving away from everyone I knew, out to the middle of nowhere, and going to about 10 AA meetings a week. The next nine years came from getting married to someone who was deep deep deep into AA/NA/MA. She was on the governing council (or whatever) of Marijuana Anonymous and was one of the Wise Old Timers at her AA group, where a hushed silence fell over the room whenever she opened her mouth. I stayed alcohol-free because I knew that my marriage would unravel if I started drinking again. I didn't want that. I began drinking again THE VERY DAY SHE LEFT when we split up and I never looked back. Since then, I have drank pretty much every day, for the past 8 years. I guess I missed a few days when I first started back up, but by the time I had been back in for, maybe, 6 months, I was drinking every day. I would say I drink about 360 days a year. The other five days are the ones where I miscalculate how much AL I have at home and the liquor stores close early (the horror!!).
Never do I not drink in the evenings except by a horrible mistake! I drink about a third to a half quart of vodka in an evening. I drink alone, at home, in private. I rarely get drunk and I rarely blackout. I rarely do anything that requires 'undoing' the next day - though I send some inappropriate e-mails on occasion. I don't really binge. You can set your watch by my drinking. AL is like water to me. Must have, most familiar, very comfortable.
I grew up in the gutter, dropped out of high school, but am a highly trained professional now - by sheer stubbornness. My drinking has thwarted my career development in a pretty big way.
I'm getting tired and it is late. I have to get up early. But, as a reminder to myself for next time:
1. I am bipolar, well controlled on meds.
2. AL/heroin/meth addiction runs deep deep deep in my family and in me.
3. I have been on a very slow baclofen titration by my psychiatrist for 3 months now.
4. At 120/day now. Going up to 135/day starting tomorrow.
5. Still drinking maybe 3 out of 4 days.
6. BUT LESS.
7. MUCH less obsessed/calculating re: AL inventory in the house.
8. No switch or 'indifference' but slowly becoming indifferent if that makes any sense.
I hope this isn't boring. I will carry on a little further as far as intro goes next time. And tell about my experiences with bac (as well as side effects) on a slower titration than some around here. Then go into a hopeful future where I hit some 'switch' or 'indifference' or creep up on it. I would like to live a life of normal length and satisfaction, which will be remarkable compared to the family which has come before me. So far so good. And THANK YOU SO MUCH to all who have contributed to these threads. An accidental Google search brought me here, which brought me to OA's book, which brought me to buy it for my psychiatrist, which has brought me part of the way to freedom. So far so good with it all. I think maybe God or Ralph Stanley or Johnny Cash has intervened and brought me here ;-)
This is my first post on MWO and I want to say hello. I am a fair way into my baclofen journey (3 month titration) and am just getting around to a first post now. I mostly lurk around in the background of forums and read other people's interesting (and sometimes, not so... ;-) ) comments and experiences without contributing anything. I swore that I would break that bad habit and add my two cents - in the interest of offering my experience to anyone it might help and also to step into the light.
As a beginning:
I am a 48 year old male. I have been drinking and abusing every manner of drugs starting at about 12 years old. Continuously, though I had a 12 year hiatus from 28 yo to 40 yo. The first 3 years of the hiatus were a result of moving away from everyone I knew, out to the middle of nowhere, and going to about 10 AA meetings a week. The next nine years came from getting married to someone who was deep deep deep into AA/NA/MA. She was on the governing council (or whatever) of Marijuana Anonymous and was one of the Wise Old Timers at her AA group, where a hushed silence fell over the room whenever she opened her mouth. I stayed alcohol-free because I knew that my marriage would unravel if I started drinking again. I didn't want that. I began drinking again THE VERY DAY SHE LEFT when we split up and I never looked back. Since then, I have drank pretty much every day, for the past 8 years. I guess I missed a few days when I first started back up, but by the time I had been back in for, maybe, 6 months, I was drinking every day. I would say I drink about 360 days a year. The other five days are the ones where I miscalculate how much AL I have at home and the liquor stores close early (the horror!!).
Never do I not drink in the evenings except by a horrible mistake! I drink about a third to a half quart of vodka in an evening. I drink alone, at home, in private. I rarely get drunk and I rarely blackout. I rarely do anything that requires 'undoing' the next day - though I send some inappropriate e-mails on occasion. I don't really binge. You can set your watch by my drinking. AL is like water to me. Must have, most familiar, very comfortable.
I grew up in the gutter, dropped out of high school, but am a highly trained professional now - by sheer stubbornness. My drinking has thwarted my career development in a pretty big way.
I'm getting tired and it is late. I have to get up early. But, as a reminder to myself for next time:
1. I am bipolar, well controlled on meds.
2. AL/heroin/meth addiction runs deep deep deep in my family and in me.
3. I have been on a very slow baclofen titration by my psychiatrist for 3 months now.
4. At 120/day now. Going up to 135/day starting tomorrow.
5. Still drinking maybe 3 out of 4 days.
6. BUT LESS.
7. MUCH less obsessed/calculating re: AL inventory in the house.
8. No switch or 'indifference' but slowly becoming indifferent if that makes any sense.
I hope this isn't boring. I will carry on a little further as far as intro goes next time. And tell about my experiences with bac (as well as side effects) on a slower titration than some around here. Then go into a hopeful future where I hit some 'switch' or 'indifference' or creep up on it. I would like to live a life of normal length and satisfaction, which will be remarkable compared to the family which has come before me. So far so good. And THANK YOU SO MUCH to all who have contributed to these threads. An accidental Google search brought me here, which brought me to OA's book, which brought me to buy it for my psychiatrist, which has brought me part of the way to freedom. So far so good with it all. I think maybe God or Ralph Stanley or Johnny Cash has intervened and brought me here ;-)
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