My Baclofen Blog/Journal

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

It's been 13 days and now at 30mg.. I go to 50mg tomorrow. So i'm getting there.

I bet it it would work a lot better if I didn't drink god knows how many malt liquors or beers. i thought beer would be easier to manage on but I am getting those 12/8% ones when I was supposed to get the 4% ones and drinking at least 10-20 of those a day. Oh and they aren't like 12oz beers like I plan to get they end up being 16/24/32oz(they don't have 40's in Florida) so it isn't really "a beer" is it? I love trying to trick myself and when someone asks how much I've had to drink I can proudly say oh only 3 "beers" this morning haha.

I think next week is going to be better since I am broke yet again blew through $100 in 1 day which sucks. I have a few plans to hustle up some cash but it'll slow me down I bet.

[wanttobesober]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Hi Tim,

Good to hear that you did not brake any bones.
I think your best bet at this point is stay at home and tough it out.
I know it is hard, but better than getting in trouble with the law again.
Once I was on probation after my DUI, and I know how it feels.
It makes you kind of schizophrenic and you think that everybody is out to get you.
I think it is more hurting the people than helping them.

Good luck and try to stay sober for a few days!
And try to take care of your ear problem!

WANTTOBESOBER

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Yep. You're getting there.
Sorry about the brokeishness. ugh. bummer.
Sorry too about the booze. And the soon to be lack of the booze. (both. it's funny. I lament for people who can't drink when the craving hits, I also know that they will feel SO much better if they don't. It's a quandary.)
I like to think of the beast as having all these tentacles that reach from my amygdala into all these cracks and crevices making decisions for me. That bitch is gone, for me. Her tentacles slowly withdrawing from the nether regions, and it is as Lo0p said, (here or somewhere?) I can see those decisions as a part of being deathly ill.
So. You'll feel better in a couple of hours when the sun comes up if you can get some sleep. Glad you're posting. It helped me a lot to do that.

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Ne/Neva Eva;1137111 wrote:
Sorry too about the booze. And the soon to be lack of the booze. (both. it's funny. I lament for people who can't drink when the craving hits, I also know that they will feel SO much better if they don't. It's a quandary.)
.....
I like to think of the beast as having all these tentacles that reach from my amygdala into all these cracks and crevices making decisions for me. That bitch is gone, for me. Haha I know it is so funny yet so true about the lack of booze thing.
Also I like the imagery you have there for the beast, i'll have to paint something about that and post it once this works... I'll title it "that bitch" and sign it "dedicated to ne"

wanttobesober;1137107 wrote: .
Once I was on probation after my DUI, and I know how it feels.
It makes you kind of schizophrenic and you think that everybody is out to get you.
I think it is more hurting the people than helping them

I know that feeling all too well..

Yeah it's all about money really, the whole system is... Once you mess up in any way they can extort you for all sorts of money and make you take BS classes(which cost MORE money) that do nothing but provide jobs to those that run it. In one of my DUI classes which I got while NOT on alcohol. I blew 0.00 but had a bunch of xanax on me for withdrawal and ate them to not get busted for those and ended up hours later too intoxicated and slapped with a DUI after the fact.. anyway... In that class it was just a guy talking about his cats and how he loved scotch and that was about it. NOTHING related to DUI or alcohol or driving.

I support half of florida by now. You get probation now instead of jail for about anything now if they think you have any sort of money and then make you give it all to them. I BEGGED for jail this last time but they wouldn't let me do it.. in Florida all the jails are privatized and this corporation gets paid with tax dollars like $100 a day per inmate who are mainly in there for mental problems or drug issues also . I do think we need to keep some dangerous sorts out of society(probably need a mental institution instead. Oh also those are mainly gone in Florida, it's on jails jails jails!) but most aren't that big of a problem.

rant mode off!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

BacloTim;1137138 wrote:
Also I like the imagery you have there for the beast, i'll have to paint something about that and post it once this works... I'll title it "that bitch" and sign it "dedicated to ne"

That is a painting I'd pay for.
Just make sure the bitch is dead. I don't need any imagery of the things she did when she was alive and well. I lived it.

xo

(btw, I always thought prison sounded okay-ish until Ed ended up in one for DUI. Now I know the real reason we lock people up. And what we do to them when we do. It exacerbates and CREATES the madness. All madness. I hate it with a passion. Rant on!) (ftr, nothing happened to him, it was just the city jail, weekends, no biggie. But talk about degrading, dehumanizing, fear-creating, shame-filling, evilness! oy. Rant is definitely on.)

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

I ended up only have like 2 beers yesterday and didn't get any severe withdrawal. Just minor tremors and high blood pressure/nervousness It wasn't a pleasant day but it wasn't awful either. The Baclofen seems to be helping that a lot. Going up to 50mg today and only planning on having a couple of beers again. The baclofen seems to be working and I don't think you can even get DT's while taking a decent amount. I'm not 100% on that but just from my experience I should be way worse off right now but I feel ok after just 1 beer this morning.

Anyway just wanted to keep posting, I wasn't feeling that well yesterday.

[bleep]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Tim, I see from your blog that you are battling to work out whether you are taking the right amount of baclofen. It's really important to get that sorted out first thing in the morning when your head is relatively clear. When you get into HDB territory, it is bloody difficult to take the correct amount if you don't have some sort of a system in place, so get it together now, while it's easy, would be my advice.

And post away. It really helped me, hopefully you'll also get a benefit from it.

[AverageJoe]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

How are you getting on?

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Pretty good, well with the drinking at least. It sucks when you start getting more and more sober and realize that you have all of this crap to deal with and those that will always judge you because of your past. Basically you don't want to be around those people sober since they just make you feel so guilty. It makes me just want to drink so I don't have to think about it really. I know that isn't the right way to handle this sort of stuff though.

Maybe the Baclofen will help me with this in some way, probably not though. It would be nice to just not care what people think. I guess that has more to do with like therapy or something and a medication can't fix that. I'm just not used to being even somewhat sober for a single day I can remember(other then childhood) and it's like a scary feeling.

Ugh, that doesn't sound too positive but i'm doing better and thanks for asking.

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

I'm up to 90mg a day now.. I think I have to start taking my Baclofen spread out more over the day instead of 3 30mg doses. It could just be that each increase has this weird feeling but maybe it's the way i'm dosing.

I have a doc appt beginning of August but have to figure out how to dose everything on my own for now. I know I have to go up 20mg per week though. I'm still drinking but I think it's more out of habit and anxiety then anything else. I still get shaky at around 10am or so and am not sure if that is just how I am (a nervous wreck) or if it's the lack of alcohol. I tried to wait it out a bit but always end up drinking at least a couple of beers around that time. It isn't a big deal though. At least i'm not going crazy with it. So far Baclofen has at least given me control over my drinking to some degree.

[bleep]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

That's good to hear. Try breaking your doses down MUCH more than that, you'll likely see improvement.

[Cassander]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

bleep;1146055 wrote: That's good to hear. Try breaking your doses down MUCH more than that, you'll likely see improvement.

If the pharmaceutical industry ever came on board, it sounds like administration by regular time release capsule or patch or pump would be just the thing...

[AverageJoe]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Good to hear from you, I thought you'd be on a higher dosage tbh! Maybe I've just gone a bit quick. I have had some nasty nausea when I've bunched up my doses towards the end of the day though. The other SE's are quite nice / welcome!

Today I started taking 25mg every 2 and a half hours. Was up at 4:30am with the baba and I've had 150mg so far today. Will probably have a last 25mg before bed depending on when the little un goes up!

[bleep]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Cassander;1146058 wrote: If the pharmaceutical industry ever came on board, it sounds like administration by regular time release capsule or patch or pump would be just the thing...

I've put a fair bit of thought into this, and it's trickier than it looks at first glance. If you consider that people are on different doses at various times, some are going up quicker than other, etc...

I suppose at that point they will have solved the mysteries surrounding titration though, so there will be a little bit of science upon which to base all of this. Bring on that day!

[SlipperyPete]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Finally you decide to come back! Haha good to hear you're seeing at least some improvements. I also thought you'd be at a higher dose by now, though. Have you considered going up faster?