My Baclofen Blog/Journal

[wanttobesober]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Hi Tim,

Great progress!
:goodjob:

Cheers,

Brian

[Bruunhilde]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Glad things are going well Btim, you deserve it. You sounds so happy! :l

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Yeah i'm like in an ecstatic mood which is not normal for me at all. I hope I can ride the high forever BTW I started sleeping just fine and I think the Welbutrin is helping now, even went up to the second weeks dosing and slept fine. I guess I had to adjust to it.

Or it could have just been that I was at a breaking point with stress in my life that I had to change it all and now can sleep No idea.

Oh and I don't know how I define an alcoholic NE I know I am an addict and alcoholic though and the underlying problems may just be symptoms of that instead of the other way around. Who knows.

Anyway not really too AF but it's only social drinking since i'm living in town and meeting up with many friends. I only have like 3 and then stop some how or even leave a half full one. I know I shouldn't play with fire though. I can say for sure that I don't crave any alcohol though like I won't go buy any or anything.

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

started drinking a bit more but nothing that is causing problems. I'll move up to the next dose level Monday anyway. I think since socializing = drinking for me that is why I'm drinking more, it's not that I feel the HAVE TO HAVE IT!!! feeling though. I used to get crazy when I drank now I just mellow out and pour out my last beer for the night no prob. Like I can stop instead of going crazy. And I now longer drink the warm beers I left over from the night before. barf!!!! I just don't have that insane thing going on.

I know i'm playing with fire though so I think I found enough of a group of friends that I'm comfortable enough with that I don't have to drink to hang out. The problem is that i'm into music so that crowd tends to drink a lot. I'll start getting some water or something instead to sip on.

Life is still GREAT and everything is working fine though so that is a big improvement! I'll take what I can get.

[bleep]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Good to hear Tim, it sounds like you are seeing good results.

What level are you on at the moment?

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

oh I' just started on 200mg today. I took the long and drawn out titration schedule. I think it's good though because I'm not getting many side effects with this combo of medications. The energy from the welbutrin sort of cancels out the fog of the baclofen for me. Oh one weird side effect from the baclofen is that sometimes I just can't walk right in flipflops. I guess it's the muscle relaxer effect. Maybe once I hit a certain point I can back off a little bit.

I guess I really was just damned depressed for a bit there. I'll work on some AF days this week, I don't think I'll do a whole bunch of socializing and need to rest.

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

I had I think 1 AF day last week but I have been doing a lot of socializing daily either entertaining at the house or going out and probably drinking much more than I should. I'm not sure if it's the Welbutrin or what though but I no longer wake up all depressed and crap and feel like I need a drink because of that. Also i'm just a happy drunk now instead of this great big asshole.
I'm only drinking light beers while others are doing shot after shot though.

Also if anyone has followed me you will understand that I work from home with no real schedule so it's all too easy to drink a lot in that setting. I get my best work done with loud music and a few beers so i'll have to get over that some how. So it's a work in progress.

Oh and i'm using 10mg Baclofen since with my walgreen club it's like $9.99 for 200 of them so that is like 20 pills a day to keep track of. I just sort of try and take them every hour or so some times 1 some times 2 depending on how much I missed the time. I really do see why that patch thing would be a good invention like others said I have to like bring my baclofen with me whenever I go out and try to remember to keep taking it with out looking like a pill popper. A few days I missed like 8 pills and wasn't sure what to do. I was out at a karaoke bar so it's hard to keep focused all night.

Funny little side story: A girl had came over and saw my daily pills on my night stand and saw me taking them all the time and having a few beers. She was just wondering wtf was up with that since I had like 12 pills out still for the day. I tried to explain that it is like a muscle relaxer that helps curb alcohol cravings and withdrawal and that I get the small pills for lower costs but I'm not sure she bought it. oh well! Also me drinking while taking a anti drinking medication probably doesn't look too good

Oh and I know I'm on a dangerous path with going out to bars and stuff. Really when I was a down and depressed suicidal drunk I just drank at home by myself mainly and got pissed off at the world. Maybe punch some trees and almost break my hands.

I sort of need the socializing right now (socially isolated for like 5 years) and just not sure how to do that totally sober yet. It helps my mood and self esteem a lot to go out and meet lots of new people that I get a long with well though. Makes me think that I'm not such a down and out junkie for the rest of my life and that I CAN move forward in life. Even if I tell them my whole life story they see that I'm not this evil junkie any more which makes me feel good about myself. Feeling guilty and judged just makes me really down.

Maybe my next post will have some more AF days and less drinking in general We'll see!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Hiya, Tim. I am reading, and thinking of you. It's amazing how far you've come and a good idea to keep an eye on that, you know? Guilt and shame are tentacles of the beast! (so's the booze, but that'll go soon enough.) Eyes on the goal, brother. You're doing just fine.
xo

[SlipperyPete]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

BacloTim;1170710 wrote:
Funny little side story: A girl had came over and saw my daily pills on my night stand and saw me taking them all the time and having a few beers. She was just wondering wtf was up with that since I had like 12 pills out still for the day. I tried to explain that it is like a muscle relaxer that helps curb alcohol cravings and withdrawal and that I get the small pills for lower costs but I'm not sure she bought it. oh well! Also me drinking while taking a anti drinking medication probably doesn't look too good

:H The direct approach. I might be willing to tell a chick they're for cravings, but if I said they helped with withdrawal I think she'd run for the hills. Guess it depends on the girl

You DO sound much happier, Tim, keep up the good work :H

[Bruunhilde]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Kudos Tim, sounds like things are looking way up for you. Are you still going to do the ibo again?

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

I think it will be time for the ibo soon. Since moving into town I am losing my vision a bit. I have to wait until the bills are all good here first.

Also how long can you go without Baclofen before having bad withdrawals? I have to wait until 6pm or so tonight to get my weekly prescription filled due to many issues. So today I have been Baclofen free but not wanting to. Feeling a bit edgy at least. I guess it would take a couple of days to get anything really bad going on. It's weekly only because I haven't talked to Dr.L much lately due to not having paid him yet. The dosage is at 200mg so each refill only lasts a week.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

BacloTim;1174271 wrote: I think it will be time for the ibo soon. Since moving into town I am losing my vision a bit. I have to wait until the bills are all good here first.

Also how long can you go without Baclofen before having bad withdrawals? I have to wait until 6pm or so tonight to get my weekly prescription filled due to many issues. So today I have been Baclofen free but not wanting to. Feeling a bit edgy at least. I guess it would take a couple of days to get anything really bad going on. It's weekly only because I haven't talked to Dr.L much lately due to not having paid him yet. The dosage is at 200mg so each refill only lasts a week.

Tim, this is rather important, so I hope you're paying attention:

1. If I were you I'd just call the doctor. He's very used to us not having enough money.

2. If he's only giving you a week's supply he doesn't know how much you are taking. Telling him the truth has always served me (us) well. Not ONE person that I know of has followed the slow titration. Not one.

3. His most insistent and consistent advice, as well as demand, is that we don't run out of bac. Not ever. It's just not a good idea.

So get some bac, and call the good doc for a rx that works better, will you?
:l

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

off the wagon but back!

Hey guys!
I was doing great but got into a relationship which I think will end up great (she's in jail for DUI and going to start with DR L soon!) I got so codependent on her that I sort of stopped my meds and just started drinking heavy and abusing Xanax again. Long story short. My boss moved us to another city and I had such bad alcohol withdrawals that they had to give me beer money to make it through the day. I got an open container charge and lost the job and then lost the hotel they gave me as well/

In the end I had my fiance turn herself in for the DUI(Probation Violation) and I've been trying to cope alone. Back up to 160mg Baclofen a day. Way lower than I was!. Taking the Xanax as well to try and drink less but it seems my nervous system is out of whack or something. Hoping to be sober mainly by the time my fiance gets out (Feb 5th!) . Have a great job doing graphic and web design again so things are looking up.

I failed at keeping my Bacofen schedule and feel bad about that! Just wanted to give an update.

-bTim

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Are we brain damaged now!?! That is what I think long term chronic drug/alcohol use does!

[BacloTim]

My Baclofen Blog/Journal

Just feeling like I want any drug available. luckiiy I locked myself down in the woods and only have money on debit card so I can't go around buying drugs. Anyone all of a sudden feel this way? I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I want to just get high and forget again. I was so over this just months ago.