Seeing the doc tomorrow

[SlipperyPete]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Always a pleasure when you stop by, Lush :l

So I've been thinking, and I haven't decided yet whether this is a gift or a curse, but alcohol no longer gives me the good old liquid courage. I wrote in the anxiety thread briefly about an experience I had in a bar a few days ago, and drinking failed to put me at ease like it used to. You could say that I feel more at ease all the time now, which is mostly true. What it feels like is I've been dropped off at an alien world, and I now have to learn the rules of this world. I think at first I was really scared of it, and I still kinda am, but I'm more excited about the possibilities of what I can do.

What bac has done for me so far is mind-bottling. It's something I never could have imagined, but man am I grateful!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

SlipperyPete;1163663 wrote: alcohol no longer gives me the good old liquid courage.
...
but I'm more excited about the possibilities of what I can do.
...
What bac has done for me so far is mind-bottling.

:H and yeehaw brother! What's bottled? What bottle's stoppered? And oh my, this ain't Kansas anymore...It's a whole bright new world with a yellow brick road. Come to think of it the Wizard of Oz is an almost perfect analogy (for me) for this journey. holy cow, that's profound. :H

I emailed my friend the tale, Slipperish. I suppose I should put the whole story on my own thread, rather than spread my blah-di-blah all over the boards. No time for that, though.

Suffice it to say I'm really glad I did, I might wish I'd done it sooner, but it sent me into a tailspin of doubt and fear for more than a day after I did it! Funny, that. (not so much, but it's all good now.)


and wooohooo.

[bleep]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

The rules of this world are very confusing, I agree. In fact, it's plainly obvious to me why I drank so much in the past.

Good to hear you are making progress Slippery.

[RudyB]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

welcome to the adultish world of the sober, pete! be glad that you're so young and resilient. i'm sure you'll make the most of your new home. people will enjoy you and you them. you won't hate yourself every morning. your future looks bright!

[SlipperyPete]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Ne, I got mind bottling from The Office. It goes something like this:
Michael: "This is really mind-bottling"
Pam: "Um, mind-bottling?"
Michael: "Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle? "
:H

I forgot to elaborate on the whole gift and a curse thing. While I'm no longer consumed about thoughts of alcohol, I apparently have been harboring a secret longing for that confidence on demand it gave me. Since it seems to be failing to do that anymore, looks like I'm going to have to work hard and develop an inner confidence. Or fall into a depressive abyss. I think I'll go with the former :H

[RudyB]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

you'll find it, pete. you're on the right track. ain't alcohol a confidence killer in the long run anyway? god, my self esteem was SHOT at the end of that ugly chapter.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

SlipperyPete;1163940 wrote: Ne, I got mind bottling from The Office. It goes something like this:
Michael: "This is really mind-bottling"
Pam: "Um, mind-bottling?"
Michael: "Yeah, mind-bottling. You know, when things are so crazy it gets your thoughts all trapped, like in a bottle? "
:H

I forgot to elaborate on the whole gift and a curse thing. While I'm no longer consumed about thoughts of alcohol, I apparently have been harboring a secret longing for that confidence on demand it gave me. Since it seems to be failing to do that anymore, looks like I'm going to have to work hard and develop an inner confidence. Or fall into a depressive abyss. I think I'll go with the former :H

Love that Office quote. I just started watching that a couple of weeks ago. I still can't stand tv, so we'll order the series next go round.

Wanting the ________ on demand is something I'm specializing in atm. (it varies from day to day, but almost always to do with confidence at it's core.) I appreciate your thoughts about it. Yes, the alternative seems a bit drear. I choose life, too. Even if that means it's not on my terms. (dammit.)

[SlipperyPete]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Yeah Rudy, alcohol definitely destroys confidence in the long run, but my alcoholic brain didn't want to believe it.

I think this song was made for alkies. I pretty much had it on repeat when I was in emo mode.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrL2qSTFb4Q[/video]]Switchfoot - Meant to Live lyrics - YouTube

[LadyLush]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Pete,

R U okay buddie?
Reading a good book and decided to check on instead of drink

Hope all is well.

LL

[SlipperyPete]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Lush - Yeah I'm doing pretty good now. Last week was no fun for me, I was pretty depressed, but after the weekend I'm feeling better.

There's definitely a lot of work that needs to be done, but I'm just trying to stay present and not screw myself over with negative thinking. Someone once told me "baby steps, Petey" and so I'm just trying to focus on one thing at a time.

Hope all is well on your end! What book are you reading?

[LadyLush]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Pete,

I know about the negative thoughts. I just read the new thread about our brains are out of whack. I haven't heard of anyone having a lobotomy in years!
Just drinking my morning coffee and trying to get out of this damn funk I'm in. My class reunion didn't help this weekend. Fun yes, but where the heck did 30 years go?
I realize now how much time I spent drinking and thinking and thinking and drinking :-)
or really...was thinking in the equation?

Have a great Tuesday!

LL:l

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Love the song, and the others. Thanks so much. PLEASE keep them coming. also loving your thoughts.

[SlipperyPete]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

Speaking of lobotomies, I watched Shutter Island again a few days ago...amazing movie! But maybe thinking is overrated afterall? Since taking bac, my thinking seems to have kicked into overdrive, but maybe there's too much of that. I definitely think myself into bad moods sometimes. The one thing I don't overthink is bac. Before I took it, I was really into brain chemistry and all that, but I'm perfectly happy in believing it's magic and leaving it at that.

And NE, what odd timing for you to say that, seeing as how I'm starting to think my thoughts are just becoming asinine :H

I never got a response about that Talib Kweli song though

Interesting tidbit: I recently figured out that Bleep has royalty in his blood

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

One man's asinine is apparently another woman's food for thought.
Loved the song. Thought I told you so. Sorry! Keep 'em coming will you? Love mixing the rap in with the bluegrass atm.

SlipperyPete;1164569 wrote:
Interesting tidbit: I recently figured out that Bleep has royalty in his blood

He's the 13th cousin thrice removed from the really inbred Windsor line. I have it on good authority that when he wears his coronet to bed his wife moves out for a couple of days.
And when he unearths the scepter from where she's hidden it, she conks him on the head with it and sends him to his parent's house for a day or two.
Even I can't divulge what happens when he presents the royal jewels.

Next you'll be telling me that Murphy wears a leather thong and likes sheep. oh. right.

[RudyB]

Seeing the doc tomorrow

heya pete. thanks for that film tip, shutter island. love that leo deC! looks like a good'un.

and be glad you get ANY response about your music! shit, even when i post songs that are in english, nobody remarks. don't be a crybaby, not about this, anyway.

as for heritage, i've nothing to claim except some hard-working cornwalians who read minds. that explains my dreams, if nothing else.