Hello Everyone -
Week 1 and week 2 were similar to the past 6-8 years. Almost every night drinking 6-9 drinks. Waking up in the middle of the night, stressed w/ anxiety everyday, short tempered, plugging thru the day to get to ""my vacation at night from 6to10pm. When I first started this journey, I thought ... it be amazing to one day be able to imagine my life without coming home and drinking! The thought of going to bed sober, reading in bed and not be totally stressed during the day. I honestly thought that it was almost impossible for me. Due to the fact that this "habit" and addiction had been going on for years. I started on the meds at the end of week 2. By week 3 my drinking was almost cut in half. I tweeked the meds in the weeks ahead. I charted my progress in an excel spredsheet. ( I tried to upload it but couldn't. If your interested I can send it to you. ) and continue to chart my daily progress. I like and need to see the numbers. I stated to "measure" all of my drinks. Something that I NEVER EVER did in all my life. Weeks 3-7 saw some fluctuations in the numbers. But, always significantly down from my 42-45 drinks a week. Last weeks total =23. And, honestly... it should have been in the teens. I have managed to string together 3 "yellow boxes" in row. A yellow box means 0 (zero) drinks during the evening. My Dr. told me to get out of the house and dont be around your triggers. I agree with him. However, I have been involved with trying to find a new job and a major project at my existing job, so working in the evening from home ( as I always have ) has been the same routine since starting the meds. So, it is interesting to look back and gauge the effectiveness of the meds in conjunction with the "triggers in my same environment". The biggest and most obvious change has been in my desire to drink. I can look at the bottle and not pour one. I still think about it. Sometimes daily ....sometimes not. Sometimes I think, I have no desire to drink tonight .. then have 4-5 drinks. That is rare... very rare but has happened a few times. With the meds, I have felt like the "control" and the chains of my nightly routine have been loosened. Not removed... but loosened to the point that I can see other options in my life, evaluate my past drinking behavior, clearly evaluate some bad decisions and lack of motivation over the past few years and now see there is a "new way out". My way out. I am not saying that I will have slip ups and set backs. All I will say is ... look at the numbers. I am sleeping the best i have in YEARS and my drinking has been cut in half over the past 7 weeks. I am truly humbled. I pray ( something that I never did before consistently ) I call on my family members that have past away to help me and give me strength in my journey. I can see my life progressing to a point someday .... without wanting or desiring alcohol. I went in for blood work today. Its been 18 months since my last blood test. I can only pray that everything is okay. IF its not, I only have myself to blame for the destruction of my own body. I pray this is not the case. I feel like I am on the brink of starting a new chapter in my life. Something feels different. I feel relieved, excited and happy. Thank the lord I found this site to show me another treatment option to AA. Still not ruling it out at this point. But the meds, this site and my TRUE desire to reduce/stop drinking are all contributors to my progress. Cheers to everyone. Thanks again.
Week 1 and week 2 were similar to the past 6-8 years. Almost every night drinking 6-9 drinks. Waking up in the middle of the night, stressed w/ anxiety everyday, short tempered, plugging thru the day to get to ""my vacation at night from 6to10pm. When I first started this journey, I thought ... it be amazing to one day be able to imagine my life without coming home and drinking! The thought of going to bed sober, reading in bed and not be totally stressed during the day. I honestly thought that it was almost impossible for me. Due to the fact that this "habit" and addiction had been going on for years. I started on the meds at the end of week 2. By week 3 my drinking was almost cut in half. I tweeked the meds in the weeks ahead. I charted my progress in an excel spredsheet. ( I tried to upload it but couldn't. If your interested I can send it to you. ) and continue to chart my daily progress. I like and need to see the numbers. I stated to "measure" all of my drinks. Something that I NEVER EVER did in all my life. Weeks 3-7 saw some fluctuations in the numbers. But, always significantly down from my 42-45 drinks a week. Last weeks total =23. And, honestly... it should have been in the teens. I have managed to string together 3 "yellow boxes" in row. A yellow box means 0 (zero) drinks during the evening. My Dr. told me to get out of the house and dont be around your triggers. I agree with him. However, I have been involved with trying to find a new job and a major project at my existing job, so working in the evening from home ( as I always have ) has been the same routine since starting the meds. So, it is interesting to look back and gauge the effectiveness of the meds in conjunction with the "triggers in my same environment". The biggest and most obvious change has been in my desire to drink. I can look at the bottle and not pour one. I still think about it. Sometimes daily ....sometimes not. Sometimes I think, I have no desire to drink tonight .. then have 4-5 drinks. That is rare... very rare but has happened a few times. With the meds, I have felt like the "control" and the chains of my nightly routine have been loosened. Not removed... but loosened to the point that I can see other options in my life, evaluate my past drinking behavior, clearly evaluate some bad decisions and lack of motivation over the past few years and now see there is a "new way out". My way out. I am not saying that I will have slip ups and set backs. All I will say is ... look at the numbers. I am sleeping the best i have in YEARS and my drinking has been cut in half over the past 7 weeks. I am truly humbled. I pray ( something that I never did before consistently ) I call on my family members that have past away to help me and give me strength in my journey. I can see my life progressing to a point someday .... without wanting or desiring alcohol. I went in for blood work today. Its been 18 months since my last blood test. I can only pray that everything is okay. IF its not, I only have myself to blame for the destruction of my own body. I pray this is not the case. I feel like I am on the brink of starting a new chapter in my life. Something feels different. I feel relieved, excited and happy. Thank the lord I found this site to show me another treatment option to AA. Still not ruling it out at this point. But the meds, this site and my TRUE desire to reduce/stop drinking are all contributors to my progress. Cheers to everyone. Thanks again.
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