My Baclofen experience so far

[Godwhacker]

My Baclofen experience so far

Still on 280, going up to 300 in a couple of days. Not sure I need to, but I think I might as well at this point. I've got about 13000 milligrams left, so I'll stick at that dose for a couple of weeks then think about titrating down again.

Had a bit of an insight today- the Serenity Prayer was actually just keeping me where I was.

God, grant me the serenity,
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.


Thing is, it doesn't really say anything, and just encourages you to lump things into 'things I can change' and 'things I cannot change'. It's something of a Rorscach test- if you're feeling miserable and fatalistic you're going to have far more things in the 'things I cannot change' column that in the 'things I can change' column. I can't change that I'm an alcoholic. I can't change the fact that I'm depressed. I'm going to have to live with both forever- the best I can hope for is a lifetime of piety and praying for redemption.

But Baclofen has allowed me to cross off the alcoholic bit, so why not just pack the depression in as well? I mean, if we're going to start changing things that we cannot supposedly change, why not go the whole hog? So I made a decision today to just start being happy, and so far it's working out brilliantly.

Now, there's an argument that really I'm just affirming the serenity prayer by doing this, but that's flatly wrong. First, God or a higher power didn't grant me this insight, it came from me. Second, as I said before, the Serenity Prayer doesn't actually say anything.

That's how I'm feeling now. I'm hoping I can keep it up for a while.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

My Baclofen experience so far

Godwhacker;1142186 wrote: ...why not just pack the depression in as well? I mean, if we're going to start changing things that we cannot supposedly change, why not go the whole hog? So I made a decision today to just start being happy, and so far it's working out brilliantly.
...
That's how I'm feeling now. I'm hoping I can keep it up for a while.

Yep. That was kind of my take on it. Aided by baclofen, and then by sobriety, it worked for me for a good long stretch. Wouldn't change it for the world.

Thanks for reminding me it can be* a choice, for goodness sake. (I could get really gushy here, but I think I'll spare you...:l)

The serenity prayer reminds me of a friend. He's dead from this disease. I think he was 38? His parents, from whom he was estranged, were very devout something. They had a minister or some such perform his funeral. Which would've made Tim really, really angry had he known. I'd guess that most of us in that horrid little room were like, well, us. We didn't know what to do or when to speak or sing. Then the minister said the serenity prayer and EVERYONE in the room knew it. :H
We laughed about the fact as we were toasting his memory. Which sounds awful, but it was the only good part of the whole fecking thing. He was my husband's best man, and not the first or the last we've buried.

(I thought I'd made the decision to be happy? sorry.)
Carry on!
*not always, though. Don't want to take that away from people who are stuck in it...

[bleep]

My Baclofen experience so far

If you're tolerating baclofen well, then there's no harm in going up a little more, imho. The thing is, you'll need to continue taking your maintenance dose after indifference, so you're going to need a lot more than 13 000mg's in the long run. That's only a month and a half's supply at your current dose.

Your decision to be happy is a great one. I also believe that it is more of a choice than we realise, and it requires a bit of work. Let us know how it works out.

[Godwhacker]

My Baclofen experience so far

I'm aware of that Bloop, and I'll be ordering more in a couple of weeks.

[DrunkAndTiredInFLA]

My Baclofen experience so far

Hello all! =) Well I am now at 30mg three times a day and the SE are a lot better than they were at 20mg three times a day. Not sure who told me that they would be, but you were right. Just wanted to say that. =) However, two SE that are getting worse are my coughing and my fingers twitching. Has anyone else had these problems? I am now officially coughing like I am sick, but I'm not. And my fingers are twitching more than just when I am on the computer. =(

[RudyB]

My Baclofen experience so far

d and t, my whole arms are twitching at the mo (at 200 mg). i've never coughed from bac, but have funny stuff w my breathing.

you know, you really should start your own thread. it's nothing to maintain, and you will get TONS more input if you do. people will chime in there about you more than they will here. people tend to focus on the person whose thread it is, so yours come a bit out of context when posters prob already have thoughts of whacking god. (of course, you're welcome to post here or anywhere, i just don't think you will get nearly as much out of it.) if you don't check in every day, it's no biggie. you've got a lot of questions and new experiences, might as well put them where they will get max roadplay. also, if you read like crazy, especially earlier in the threads that you relate to, you'll find your questions are very common, and you'll gain a lot of valuable insight.

good luck to you, drunk!
xo rb

[RedThread12]

My Baclofen experience so far

Just got back and got around to listening to Steely Dan. Thanks, Godwhacker. That was a treat.

Does everyone know that there's more to the "Serenity Prayer," written by Reinhold Neibuhr ( . . . he thinks he remembers writing it)?:

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as She did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that She will make all things right
if I surrender to Her Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Her
Forever in the next.
Amen.

NEXT LIFE?????

I you wiki "serenity prayer," it also brings up Mother Goose (1695):

For every ailment under the sun
There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it;
If there be none, never mind it.

I :h Wikipedia.

I also :h you're decision to be happy, GodWhacker. Happiness "by decree" is a powerful choice.

[Godwhacker]

My Baclofen experience so far

On 300mg a day now, probably going to titrate down in a week or so. I'm pretty sure I've reached indifference- I still get the occasional urge to get out of my head, but alcohol just doesn't work like it used to. I tried a beer the other day and I could actually just taste it- no emotional response, no feeling of well-being, nothing; it just tasted like beer, and wasn't actually that nice.

So I'm hoping as I titrate back down I'll be able to sleep again. I've been taking Zopiclone to help, but whilst it gets me to sleep it's quite hard to stay that way. I usually wake up about five hours later and just have to get out of bed. Classic insomnia- tired when awake, but not tired enough in bed. I'm just turning into a bit of a zombie. It's a price I'm happy to pay, but it's fucking irritating.

It's strange- all that anger and anxiety that was driving me before has gone, and I'm just left wondering what I've been doing for the last two and a half years. It's increasingly hard to remember what it was like to be consumed by alcoholism- with AA you're acutely aware of it every single day, but with this you just forget about it. Which is better? Hard to say. I'm sure you'll find a greater degree of self-actualisation if you do it through AA, but this just seems more reliable and more effective.

[bleep]

My Baclofen experience so far

Fantastic news!

As to wanting to get out of your head still - I sympathise. I still feel that way occasionally, and booze no longer does the trick, at all. Getting pissed, which I've tried a few times, doesn't do anything for me any more. I've yet to find an outlet, but I find the need for an outlet is decreasing as days go by. Hopefully it will disappear altogether with time.

As to which way is better - I've only succeeded one way, so I can't compare the two. However, which way is easier? There's a much simpler question to answer, I think.

[DHS51]

My Baclofen experience so far

Way to Go GW! I love your screen name.

D

[Murphyx]

My Baclofen experience so far

Great news God! You may wish to reconsider your plan to titrate down. Continued indifference may depend on staying on that dose, at least for a long time. IMO sleep problems, along with any other SEs you may have, will probably improve quite quickly as long as you don't chop and change your bac intake.
:goodjob:

[Godwhacker]

My Baclofen experience so far

Murph- I hear what you're saying, but it's just too physically taxing at 300mg per day- can't get anything done when I'm too tired to think, and I need to be able to think to get a job. I'm going to titrate it down, but monitor things- if I start craving again, I'll increase the dose again.

The main problem I'm having is getting people to believe me. Hopefully this study in the Netherlands will help with that.

[Godwhacker]

My Baclofen experience so far

Also Bleep- I've got the same reaction to booze now. It just makes me tired and a bit ill, and doesn't work in the way that it used to. I reckon I'll feel better when I've sorted my shit out and lost a bit of weight, so I'll just stick with that.

[bleep]

My Baclofen experience so far

Well, baclofen got me into the gym, which nothing else has ever managed to do, so good luck with that!

And Murph is right about the SE's fading with time. If you have a little time, try sticking to the same dose for a while and see what happens. My maintenance dose is about 300, and I get zero SE's off it now, except needing slightly less sleep.

[RudyB]

My Baclofen experience so far

god, that tired thing, i mean that sleeping less, so many report that. i am happy w 5 - 6 hrs, but do need a nap in the day. i think it has something to do w the relaxed feeling bac gives, and the relief from anxiety, which in itself is exhausting. there's lots about this in 'healing without freud or prozac'. (i know, i reference that book constantly, but it is so very relevant to most of the stuff we write about here.) and with going to the gym, great way not only to lose weight, but also to start waving bye-bye to depression and anxiety. (there's a study that shows that physically fit people have much more stable heart rates upon hearing horrible news, than people who are out of shape.) our emotions directly and powerfully affect our physiology, and an excellent and ancient way to improve both is through exercise. when you do that you improve how you feel, which improves your physiology, and vice versa. it's hard to say -and pointless- which has the greater influence on the other.

great about the bac, huh?! it works!