Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Tiny;1159661 wrote: Hi friends,

So my question for all is why did we drink in the first place -- what was out of balance?

I am working on some depression and anxiety workbooks and am trying to change my way of thinking. Any additonal suggestions from folks are so welcome!

Hi, friend!
That's the billion dollar question. Pretty sure big pharma is thinking about that one all the way to the bank! :H

That sounds like a good start!


Hi, Getting There! So glad you're here too! Sounds like another group journey to me! Yay!

[Texie]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Hi Tiny, GettingThere and BottleStopper,

I'm on day 13 AF just finishing up my second AF week-end in years. I'm on 30mg of bac and getting ready to go up to 50. I think I'm just about at the same place in this journey as you ladies. I drank 1 -2 bottles of wine a day, am an overachiever with a high stress job and drank in large part to relieve anxiety. I've always had extreme anxiety and fear of "not being good enough" plus that whole airplane anxiety that plays a part in my ultimate AF failure every time which is tough since I travel regularly for woek. I'd love to join your "bac buddies", it would be very helpful to have people in the same place to bounce things off of.

Have a good Sunday!

Texie

[Cassander]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Texie;1159746 wrote: Hi Tiny, GettingThere and BottleStopper, ...I am an overachiever with a high stress job and drank in large part to relieve anxiety. I've always had extreme anxiety and fear of "not being good enough" plus that whole airplane anxiety that plays a part in my ultimate AF failure every time which is tough since I travel regularly for woek. I'd love to join your "bac buddies", it would be very helpful to have people in the same place to bounce things off of. Texie

Hello Tiny, GT, Bottle and Texie

What a great journey you are all on together!

I am the guy on here who is laser focussed on the relationship between anxiety, alcohol abuse, the brain, and baclofen. To the extent you believe your alcohol issues can be attributed to anxiety (and this isn't necessarily the case for everyone who likes to drink...), and to the extent that you find over time that baclofen (at whatever dose) not only relieves your alcohol cravings but also the underlying anxiety, please report here or in your own thread and if you feel like it on the Baclofen and Anxiety thread.

Thanks! and I look forward to following your progress and success!
Cassander

[bottlestopper]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Tiny/Getting there and Texie - :welcome: so great to have like minded people on board. Seems that we are all in similar places, high powered jobs, anxiety and vinoholics. Isnt it funny how you always think of vodka as being the tipple of choice for alcohol addicts, whereas more and more we find it is the vino that is the poison that got us here.

Tiny - your question about why we drink in the first place. Well for me I have always been an overachiever. Have to constantly give myself new challenges, a new obstacle to jump over, and even then I have NEVER felt adequate, and increasingly anxious. then a new challenge to try to feel adequate and still dont feel adequate, why not? Well thinking about it further I started to look back at my life this affternoon after reading this thread (wow is this site a powerful thing, thank you!) and I realised that in my teens and early twenties I ddnt feel the need to overachieve, in fact I didnt. I failed my a levels, I didnt have a high powered job, I was quite comfortable in my own skin (although I always looked for adoration and needed constant praise - due I think, to the fact that my father commited suicide when I was 12 (alcoholic) I should know better!!)

It wasnt until I started drinking too much that the anxiety crept in, and with the anxiety that constant feeling of inadequacy. To alleviate that, a new challenge, higher goals, more stress, more anxiety, more alcohol. Still feel inadequate. And the circle goes on.

What I didnt realise (until this week) was that it is the dependency on alcohol that was making me feel anxious and inadequate.Because deep down I knew I had a problem I was looking for another challenge to crack so that I didnt need to concentrate on the one challenge that would free me. My challenge to stop drinking. I am hoping that this is not another "phase", my family is totally fed up of my "phases", new challenges, never staying still, always searching! Recognise this anyone?

Since I have been on the baclofen and stopped drinking I dont feel any anxiety. I sometimes feel the brain racing that acccompanies it but not the actual gut wrenching debilitating panic feeling. HOWEVER, I also feel very, very spaced out like I am recovering from an anaesthetic, not a nice feeling dont feel i can concentrate, but like I said earlier I am unsure as to whether this is down to me feeling ill or not.

Neva eva - I am on 120, have been here for 5 days, started bac about 4 weeks ago, but have been AF for 6 days. As for the post nasal drip etc, this has me quite worried. I wonder if in fact I do have an infection. I have no temperature, I do have slightly swollen glands, and I do feel as if I have been run over by a truck. Could sleep for England. However, I have just read on another thread that this could be the baclofen, a bac user who had similar symptoms found out is was some sort acid reflux and has had permanent damage to his/her oesophagus. They also found that they have put on weight despite being on a very low carb, low calorie diet. I have 5 stone to lose which is really almost as health/life threatening as my alcohol addiction is. The thought of putting on weight or indeed not losing it after reducing my calorie intake by at least 1000 caloried of wine a day fills me with despair. I have lost llb in 6 days and am a little dissapointed with this.

However, at least the anxiety is all but gone. This is fantastic

Thanks for listening to my rambles, it sure does mean a lot.

[bottlestopper]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Just had a slip up on my plan. I was feeling so fed up, depressed and poorly. So I have just had a cadbury caramel bar and half a cadburys sponge pudding and custard. I feel really sick now and a bit dissapointed that I have let myself down on my no sugar and wheat plan. However, I didnt turn to the wine - yay. didnt even feel like having a glass. Maybe the bac is kicking in. Cant really believe I have hit the switch yet, feel I need a few more days of sobriety under my belt before I can really believe it.

Just wish I didnt feel so bloody pants. I can hardly breath, cant stop coughing, sever post nasal drip and my eyes are continually running. I am so tired and feel quite depressed. Reallly hope this is not all down to the bac, because I really couldnt work feeling like this.

Dont know what to do about doses, should I stay where I am longer to see if the SE's get better or should I try to go up a bit further and hope that the Se's reduce as others have found at higher doses.

Any ideas guys?

Plus I now feel quite sick after eating all that chocolate, and no chance of any weight loss tomorrow. ho hum....

[Getting There]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Stopper - This is just a thought and I am a newbie so no expert by any means..... maybe just take one thing at a time. It is so awesome that you are not craving AL so much but I am guessing the sugar craving which I have too has something to do with your body responding to not having it. Be easy on yourself, you are making great changes and they are very difficult. I have been doing no white sugar or white flour for over a year now which has really helped my weight issues. I have lost over 15% of my body weight during this time. I have noticed that since I have quit AL it has been MUCH harder to stick to. Doing a bit of excersise seems to help with my BAC SE's. I have stocked up on sugar free / low carb ice cream and sugar free jello mousse which help when I am craving sweets. Are you seeing a doctor who is leading you through your BAC regimen? Maybe give them a call to see what to do. Hang in there, we are here to support you and each other so keep posting and feel better soon!

[SlipperyPete]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Getting There;1159879 wrote: Stopper - This is just a thought and I am a newbie so no expert by any means..... maybe just take one thing at a time.

Agreed. I know I want to fix everything all at once, but things take time. Don't beat yourself up, this is a journey

[RudyB]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

heya bottlestop! i havent' read thru your whole thread yet, but wanted to chime in cause i couldn't wait. i, too, am a teacher, and i know how demanding is this job! i'm at 200 mgs and basically indifferent for about six wks or so. it's a process and you can do it! sounds like you're already having some promising results! bleep's advice, as always, is excellent. split your doses up as much as possible. i try never to take more than twenty mg at a time. i'm not mathematical about it, i just sorta pop one every few hours. it makes a WORLD of difference with the se's. now, back to your thread...

[RudyB]

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oh, and i've had the eye twitch, like crazy! no worries, it'll go away, it will. it did for me. in fact, i think i probably had it around the dose that you're on at the moment. i promise, it will disappear.

[RudyB]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

bottlestop, yes, what they said: one thing at a time!~ so you ate a bunch of sugar and feel crummy. darn it. but at least you didn't DRINK a bunch of sugar in the form of al. now give yourself a huge pat on the back for that! good golly! you see yourself that that's huge progress, no? you're trying really hard, and have every intention of being sober, so cut yourself some slack! eat sugar without remorse. you're sober for days on end for the first time in years. that is HUGE. sounds like bac is working for you already. takes many much more time and much higher doses to reach what you're already reporting. feel really good about that. split up your doses, as has been said a buncha times. exercise, as that will help your spirits, your se's, and you resolve to not drink. think happy thoughts. give yourself MUCH credit. you're doing great!

[bottlestopper]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

thanks for all your support guys. Well I was in a downward sugar spiral, I woke up twice in the night and consumed on both occasions 10 chewy sweets. Funnily enough it felt like it did when I was secret drinking, I found myself trying to hide hte wrappers lol!!

Well I am not beating myself up, I just think my body needed it. Like you say it is a lot to ask it to do all at once. So sugar I will eat, and wheat for a while. Sobriety is most important the weight loss can come later.

Feeling a little better today although I didnt get up until 1.30pm. So definitely couldnt work like this. Have divided my doses up into 6 doses. However, still feeling quite spaced out although the cough and throat is much better. Just think the bac exacerbated the cold and cough symptoms. Jeez its so hard to know what is from bac and what isnt.

The spaced out feeling is really hard, it sort of feels like I have a hangover (without nausea and headache), that really lethargic and spaced out feeling. Such a shame because I was hoping that AF would bring a spring in my step. However the anxiety is almost non existant and I am not worrying about unnecessary things anymore which is SUCH A RELIEF.

Question is - do I try going up. I have been at this dose now for a week tomorrow and am still feeling spaced out. Maybe I need to go up, or do I need to stay here longer, or even go down. Thoughts please.

Another SE I have noticed is that my eye sight seems to have deteriorated, all the words on the computer screen seem quite blurred, needing to wear reading glasses where I didnt before. Anyone else felt this, does it get better?

Thanks for listtening.:thanks:

DAy 7AF
120mg Bac
15 stone 8lb

[bottlestopper]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Getting there, tiny and texie - how are you guys going on you have gone very quiet?

Well update for me - I made it a week AF and to be honest apart from the first couple of days it was SO EASY!!

I still think about alcohol a lot, look at scenes on the TV and wonder if they are drinking a nice wine with that meal etc. but I dont have any cravings. However, I am a bit cacooned in the middle of the french countryside with no pubs, no social get togethers etc. Not sure if I will feel the same when I go back to reality. However, I will have another 3 weeks under my belt by then, so maybe it will be easier.

Weight wise I put on 2lb this morning, but that was definitely due to the absolute sugar feast I went on over the last two days, I have eaten EVERYTHING. That will stop today, because it makes me feel bloated and horrible. Wont beat myself up if I have the odd blip, but unfortunately those all or nothing habits die hard, if I have one bit of chocolate I dont stop until the whole cupboard has gone. So back to no sugar or wheat from today.

Now to the baclofen. Mmmmmm. This is a really hard one. I genuinely think that my cravings are much reduced if not non existant (although not really been properly tested) at the dose I am on (120) Anxiety is not there at all (feel free for the first time in many years) this is all really, really positive, and for that I am very thankful.

However, I dont feel good at all. I started with what I thought was a cough and sore throat a week ago. My husband had had one, so I assumed I had caught it off him. It started off quite mild, bit of a sore throat and a tickly cought. It has got worse and worse, I dont have a fever, there is no infection, BUT the cough has got worse, eyes constantly watering, sore throat and my nose just feels so blocked, severe post nasal drip. All this accompanied with a feeling of complete lethargy and tiredness. yesterday I went to the chemist to get something. I could hardly drive the car I felt so spaced out. In fact I am sure I shouldnt have.

I have been spacing my doses up into 6 x 20 for two days, drowsiness is a little better at times, but at other times terrible.

I got some nootropic (as suggested - thanks) to help with the brain fog and tiredness, I got some clariton and some mucinex (as suggested by neva eva - thanks), I also got a nasal spray and some decongestants, so I am determined to give this a good chance. However, even with all this last night was terrible, constant coughing, feeling like I was going to choke and waking myself up all the time with a jolt.

I need some help. there is a train of thought that seems to say that this only happens at low doses, and therefore I should carry on titrating up and it will go.

There is another one that says stay where you are until they subside, but i have been here a week now and nothing is changing.

There is also one that says to go down to stop the symptoms, but what if the anxiety and cravings return.

However, i cant carry on like this indefinitely.

I will give it another day or so with these added meds, but does anyone have any advice re the titration schedule please.

Thanks for listening, yet again!!

Day 8 AF
Day 1 wheat free, sugar free
120mg baclofen, added nootropic, mucofex, decongestant, claritin
15 stone 10lb

[Getting There]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Stopper - So sorry you are feeling so bad! It sounds terrible. Things are okay here. Still on 70mgs and having some SE's but they are managable. Mostly just really tired at times during the day nd some annoying headaches. I titrate up to 90 tomorrow so we will see how that goes. Had dinner tonight in Little Italy in NY with work mates and a huge bottle of open wine was put on the table. I did have some slight cravings but it really was not bad at all. I can't believe it!

Have you talked to your doc about your side effects? I have not head of ones like you are experiencing. Let us know how today goes and good luck! Hope you feel better soon.

18 Days AF!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

bottlestopper;1160593 wrote:

I still think about alcohol a lot, look at scenes on the TV and wonder if they are drinking a nice wine with that meal etc. but I dont have any cravings.
I had that experience a lot when I was first indifferent. It makes me smile now.

bottlestopper;1160593 wrote: I need some help. there is a train of thought that seems to say that this only happens at low doses, and therefore I should carry on titrating up and it will go.

There is another one that says stay where you are until they subside, but i have been here a week now and nothing is changing.

There is also one that says to go down to stop the symptoms, but what if the anxiety and cravings return.

However, i cant carry on like this indefinitely.

The SEs can be a little much to bear. About the cough...I'll assume I've said enough on another thread and I won't belabor the point. I hope (and feel confident) you'll find some relief from the meds.
The lethargy and spaciness? Ugh and oy. Very hard to deal with those SEs.
I wonder if you're sleeping normally, Stopper? (the lethargy/fatigue is not always directly related to this...But it can't help if you're coughing all night.)

If you can't carry on then you should change something. My two cents is this: Deal with the cough. Then deal with each of the symptoms individually. Hard to deal with lethargy/fogginess if sleep is disturbed because you have a cough, right?

Hang in there, and go up, or down, just a bit, and see if that helps. I don't think you're going to destroy your hard won progress with either approach. You can always take more, or less if it doesn't work.

(The French countryside is a dream in my world. Hope you're enjoying it! Of course the dream was always accompanied by a local vineyard pouring really, really good wine. And local cafes that serve a table red the likes of which would be considered a special affair in these parts. All thanks to Peter Mayle. again. )

:l
Ne

BTW, you guys are an inspiration! Getting, Tiny, Texie and Stopper! What fun to have a group!

[Texie]

Here goes - Bottlestopper's Baclofen journal

Hi Stopper

Hi Stopper, sorry that you're feeling so bad. I'm still new myself so I will leave advice to our awsome experienced members. I'm still on 30mg. I was supposed to go up to 50mg yesterday but over the weekend started feeling really sleepy, foggy and lethargic so I'm going to hold off on going up for a few days and let that calm down. I had a bit of concern about driving on Sunday but broke my doses up into 6 X 5mg yesterday and that helped a lot. It's been 16 days AF today and that feels really good and it's not even like I've had to fight it. My dr's titration schedule is

5 mg X1 for 3 days
5 mg X2 for 4 days
20 mgs for 7 days (in 3 doses)
then add 20mg per week each week after

It's weird, I feel lethargic and have to push myself to get going but still seem to get so much more done than when I was drinking (at least at home). I was thinking about that yesterday and wondered if this is really feeling lethargic or if I had just been fueled by anxiety for so long I don't know what to do when I feel calm and relaxed or if I finally feel not-so-bad when EVERYTHING is not done and in perfect order.

I have to say I'm a little jealous about that French Countryside thing when I'm here in the HELL of the hottest Texas summer in 30 years and it looks like we are going to break that record on Friday. nfire: Maybe that has something to do with the lethargy!

Getting There, great news on making it though dinner with an open bottle of wine on the table. I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. let us know how the first day at 90 goes.

Tiny- Hope you're still doing well and hope to hear from you soon.

Have a good day everyone and keep in touch,

Tex