Hi All,
:new:
Well today is the day I begin my journey. I'm pretty anxious, but then I have been for the last 18 years! so nothing new there. I have been drinking on a daily basis for 15 years now and am only 35, so most of my adult life. I used to follow the family rule of not drinking before 6pm. This of course means you can't possibly be an alcoholic so that's fine.
I didn't have a problem with that for years and functioned fine, or so I told myself. It wasn't until a girlfriend I was with told me very directly I was an alcoholic. She's doesn't hold back when she has something on her mind. When I started to question this myself, a whole new world of pain opened up. Where I had been making it through the day, counting the hours until 6pm rife with anxiety. I hadn't been considering the alcoholic thing, as alcohol was the cure to my anxiety every day. Once this was put into question, I started getting anxious when I drank. This wasn't the plan. She killed my enjoyment of alcohol! As deep down I knew she was right, I stayed with her and I admired the fact she seemed to live for each day and I wanted that. What ensued were more and more arguments over my drinking, followed by more frequent 'All nighters' by me going off in a huff. After a few years of this, my self esteem was really low and depression kicked in. I didn't know what it was. I knew I felt pretty shit most of the time, but kept on drinking. The 6pm rule was upheld most of the time, but sometimes I needed a few just to leave the house to go and buy more!
Moving forward some time, I had this depression which I called helmet head due to the fact I felt I was wearing a crash helmet all the time. I decided to buy some valium online, as I thought that would ease things. 6 weeks later I ended up on another all nighter. I was staying with my parents abroad at the time. I remember leaving their place at 9pm, then a huge blank, but returned at 4pm the following day and put my hands in the air and said 'HELP ME'
I saw the Doc, who confirmed I was an alcoholic. Even though I usually drank after 6pm.
Thanks Pal ! and that I was definitely depressed. So the plan was simple. Stop drinking and take Antidepressants. I was given 3 days worth of detox pills, and i followed his instructions, apart from the going to AA part. I stayed sober for 8 Months somehow, and got back together with the girl who called me an alcoholic in the first place...... and started drinking again. Hmmm...... a pattern is emerging here.
Boy this is a long post. Long story short. 1 rehab stint a year ago and had my first taste of AA, followed by 3 Months sober. Came off my antidepressants (slowly) myself because I thought I was fine. Big argument with the girlfriend, break up again and then a 4 day drinking spree feeling pretty suicidal, followed by going back to the rehab a few Months ago, only to realise 10 minutes later I didn't want to be there and immediately jumping over the wall and made it to my Sisters house. I guess my brain, even though saturated with alcohol knew I had tried that route before and it didn't work for me. I went back to see my Psychiatrist and that's pretty much it up until now.
I took my Psychiatrist an article I had found about Doctor Ameisen, which interested her a lot. Also, after trying AA, I don't see it as an answer for me and she knows that. She said as a Doctor she couldn't give me a prescription for Baclofen, but as a friend she said 'Go for it' knowing that I would probably order it online anyway. That's me these days. Self medicating Doctor of all things Google!
The only reservation both of us have is that I am taking 45mg of Mirtazapine at the moment, and can't find anything about it combined with Baclofen, so am feeling a bit nervous. The Mirtazapine makes me drowsy at night as it is, so with Baclofen I'm a little concerned about going to sleep and forgetting to breathe!
I ordered 200 x 10mg pills and have started today with a plan of doing 5mg 3 times a day for 5 days, then maybe going to 10mg 3 times a day. Does that sound like a normal plan? Am I better off taking less more frequently? Also, has anyone else used Aclepsa before for their Baclofen? That's where I got mine. Also the guy on the homepage looks a bit like Dr Ameisen. Solid reason for using them!
Well.... here I go! and if you're still awake after this post I look forward to your comments and help on what is hopefully my Bac journey to freedom!
:new:
Well today is the day I begin my journey. I'm pretty anxious, but then I have been for the last 18 years! so nothing new there. I have been drinking on a daily basis for 15 years now and am only 35, so most of my adult life. I used to follow the family rule of not drinking before 6pm. This of course means you can't possibly be an alcoholic so that's fine.
I didn't have a problem with that for years and functioned fine, or so I told myself. It wasn't until a girlfriend I was with told me very directly I was an alcoholic. She's doesn't hold back when she has something on her mind. When I started to question this myself, a whole new world of pain opened up. Where I had been making it through the day, counting the hours until 6pm rife with anxiety. I hadn't been considering the alcoholic thing, as alcohol was the cure to my anxiety every day. Once this was put into question, I started getting anxious when I drank. This wasn't the plan. She killed my enjoyment of alcohol! As deep down I knew she was right, I stayed with her and I admired the fact she seemed to live for each day and I wanted that. What ensued were more and more arguments over my drinking, followed by more frequent 'All nighters' by me going off in a huff. After a few years of this, my self esteem was really low and depression kicked in. I didn't know what it was. I knew I felt pretty shit most of the time, but kept on drinking. The 6pm rule was upheld most of the time, but sometimes I needed a few just to leave the house to go and buy more!
Moving forward some time, I had this depression which I called helmet head due to the fact I felt I was wearing a crash helmet all the time. I decided to buy some valium online, as I thought that would ease things. 6 weeks later I ended up on another all nighter. I was staying with my parents abroad at the time. I remember leaving their place at 9pm, then a huge blank, but returned at 4pm the following day and put my hands in the air and said 'HELP ME'
I saw the Doc, who confirmed I was an alcoholic. Even though I usually drank after 6pm.
Thanks Pal ! and that I was definitely depressed. So the plan was simple. Stop drinking and take Antidepressants. I was given 3 days worth of detox pills, and i followed his instructions, apart from the going to AA part. I stayed sober for 8 Months somehow, and got back together with the girl who called me an alcoholic in the first place...... and started drinking again. Hmmm...... a pattern is emerging here. Boy this is a long post. Long story short. 1 rehab stint a year ago and had my first taste of AA, followed by 3 Months sober. Came off my antidepressants (slowly) myself because I thought I was fine. Big argument with the girlfriend, break up again and then a 4 day drinking spree feeling pretty suicidal, followed by going back to the rehab a few Months ago, only to realise 10 minutes later I didn't want to be there and immediately jumping over the wall and made it to my Sisters house. I guess my brain, even though saturated with alcohol knew I had tried that route before and it didn't work for me. I went back to see my Psychiatrist and that's pretty much it up until now.
I took my Psychiatrist an article I had found about Doctor Ameisen, which interested her a lot. Also, after trying AA, I don't see it as an answer for me and she knows that. She said as a Doctor she couldn't give me a prescription for Baclofen, but as a friend she said 'Go for it' knowing that I would probably order it online anyway. That's me these days. Self medicating Doctor of all things Google!
The only reservation both of us have is that I am taking 45mg of Mirtazapine at the moment, and can't find anything about it combined with Baclofen, so am feeling a bit nervous. The Mirtazapine makes me drowsy at night as it is, so with Baclofen I'm a little concerned about going to sleep and forgetting to breathe!
I ordered 200 x 10mg pills and have started today with a plan of doing 5mg 3 times a day for 5 days, then maybe going to 10mg 3 times a day. Does that sound like a normal plan? Am I better off taking less more frequently? Also, has anyone else used Aclepsa before for their Baclofen? That's where I got mine. Also the guy on the homepage looks a bit like Dr Ameisen. Solid reason for using them!
Well.... here I go! and if you're still awake after this post I look forward to your comments and help on what is hopefully my Bac journey to freedom!
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