Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

[drunkmonk]

Hi Gang.
I was on here about a year ago and had some success with Baclofen./Pacifen

Just checking in to say hi. I had 6months sober on Baclo.
But a series of knockbacks saw me spiraling down further then even before.

I'm now kind of on a slow path back to recovery.....
I've started a blog if anyone wants to read, posting everyday if I can, they dont take long to read

Diary of an Alcoholic aged 39 and 3/4: Diary of an Alcoholic PT1

id post on here,but dont quite know how to make a blog?
can anyone help
xx
__________________:thanks:

[RudyB]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

heya monk! i think you can just start your own thread and call it a blog. that's what others and i do... good luck on your path. sorry to hear it has gone downward. good luck going back up!

[drunkmonk]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

Thanks Rudy.
The only way is up for me. Has to be, or I don't think i'll see my 40th in September.
It will be long and painful.... I have to get there tho ....if not for my sake...for my dear Family who I'm causing so much worry....

[Seethepony]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

Hey Monk - you must be a month or two older than me. I too have FORTY rolling towards me like some monster truck from a Stephen King novel. Actually I'd prefer to be duelling a monster truck right now, cos you might just be able to blow up its fuel tank or something, whereas FORTY doesn't have a fuel tank, nor any other obvious weak spots. It just hits you, and buggers off looking for its next victim...

Fuggit. Forgotten what I wanted to say cos of that stupid monster truck analogy. But good luck and all that, er, whatever. (I really had something to say. It'll come back to me, in about seven weeks time.)

Happy birthday, by the way, when the time comes!

[Bruunhilde]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

Hi Monk,

I think alot of us, me included, have been where you are and where you have been. You haven't lost the battle, you just lost a fight. Get that horse back and be nice to it and get back into the war. You'll win, just have confidence in yourself, you are so strong to have been AF for so long before. You can do it again if you could do it once. Take supplements, read up here, post and make friends again. Its never to late to start day one.

[sapphire1]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

You can do it Monk....I did and I have been where you are now. I made it out of the fog after years of living the nightmare. The fact that you are getting back here, starting your own blog is testament to your innate desire to survive. My life today does not even resemble the one I was living just twelve months ago. I cant even begin to explain how fantastic it now is. Given long enough time to recover, the mind/brain/body/soul CAN emerge whole again. Dont give up hope Monk. Strength and grace to you...Saffxx

[bleep]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

Good luck this time around Monk. A lot of people have reported it's a bit easier the second time, maybe knowing what to expect gives a little peace of mind?

[drunkmonk]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement and support everyone.
I am once again blown away by the compassion and hope that goes on in the forums..

I'm so glad to be back.....I'm not on day 1 yet, but will start on the Baclofen today and see if it works it magic....Did work before, but I just simply slipped and stopped taking them... I'm unemployed at the moment, so I can probably handle the somnolence and titrate a little faster.

By the way, I don't think ill be becoming a monk yet. No intoxicants rule
I was training in Buddhist Meditation for about a year but never made progress because the demon alcohol stole my spiritual practice.. (and it turns out the group I was in was a little on the cultish side, there were brainwashing techniques going on that I didn't realise....

Hey - ho... I'm away from the community now and living with my Cat in a Flat (poet and dont know it ;-)

p.s. Can anyone recomend a safe daily dose of bac that I can start on thats really quite high to begin with.. I think I could handle 50mg spread out.
What u think?

[bleep]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

Why don't you ease your way in, and if it looks good, accelerate from there? The standard these days is 3 x 5mg's for the first few, then up 20mg's every few days.

Maybe try 3 x 10mg's to start? I've found that splitting your dose as much as possible throughout the day helps a lot with the SE's as well.

Best of luck!

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

drunkmonk;1161144 wrote:
By the way, I don't think ill be becoming a monk yet. No intoxicants rule
I was training in Buddhist Meditation for about a year but never made progress because the demon alcohol stole my spiritual practice.. (and it turns out the group I was in was a little on the cultish side, there were brainwashing techniques going on that I didn't realise....

Hey - ho... I'm away from the community now and living with my Cat in a Flat (poet and dont know it ;-)

p.s. Can anyone recomend a safe daily dose of bac that I can start on thats really quite high to begin with.. I think I could handle 50mg spread out.
What u think?

Yeah, apparently the monk thing doesn't offer the gift of sobriety any more than the priest thing guarantees sexual abstinence. :H In fact, it's less likely given the fact that monks have made booze time out of mind. right?

Dude. Slow and steady. That's the ticket. It's not a matter of "what you can handle." It's a matter of not getting your a** kicked. Seriously. You'll want to be able to suss out what works, what doesn't and how to ameliorate/manage what comes up.

And if you still decide to plunge into the deep end with both feet, bring your concerns here and we'll help if we can! You won't be the first or the last.

Looking forward to hearing more from the drunkishmonkish. (I've been thinking of attending the Buddhist temple in town. The only Buddhist temple in town. But their website offers little comfort...How did you figure out you were being brainwashed? )

[drunkmonk]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

[QUOTE=N
Looking forward to hearing more from the drunkishmonkish. (I've been thinking of attending the Buddhist temple in town. The only Buddhist temple in town. But their website offers little comfort...How did you figure out you were being brainwashed? )

It didnt really start until I left full time work to work at the buddhist centre as a voluinteer..25quid a week sponsorship. It was ok at first, good company, communal food. Simple life.... I didnt learn until it was too late , that there was a lot of bullying going on by a certain powermad nun. She praised me to high heaven for the year I was just a resident, but when i "came on board" she started to mix praise with critisim and say we have to develop a "WORKING" relationship and descide whos side your on.... It was horrible ...praise one day , criticism the other, telling me i need to grow bigger balls because I didnt drop a leaflet into a Solicitors Office about a meditation class,

Aparently this makes you doubt you own judgement and is a form of brainwashing...

This treatment was the cause of the end of a good 6 months sober, and I had to leave and go back to my parents as my drinking was well out of control by the end of it......

Apparently my parents came to rescue me, and I was in bed hiding under a cardboard box.

That was just before xmas....
I was a mess....drinking bottles of wine in the street. , getting paranoid thinking everyone was watching me......

Im slowly getting better, but that was probably the relapse of a lifetime. x

[drunkmonk]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

PS

there are many different buddhist groups...
not all bad........
use your intuition and stay away from those that proselytize about purity and bang on about we are the best ....you can only get enlightenment from us...etc

Be careful out there. Buddhism is complex, often are the people following it
I recommend a ZEN buddhist group, or FPMT.
I guess being in a spiritual community is like a greenhouse for the mind, take it easy or you might get a sunburn.
There where a lot of mentally ill people in the community I was part of....

[drunkmonk]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

I've just been to see my GP.. I call him Dr No-Prescribe.
Result tho, I know popping pills isn't the answer because they deal with symptoms and don't cure causes,(except you Baclofen ;-)
but he agreed to put me back on the happy pills.

I understand him tho, mixing alcohol with SSRI's isn't the wisest thing... I had to do a bit of careful verbal wrestling with him that lasted only a few moments and he was writing out a prescription. I figured I had nothing to loose... I have to defeat this demon from all angles. I actually hate SSRI's they eventually turn you into a zombie, that isn't depressed---Result maybe, but is also neither ever happy or sad...So they will only be used as the springboard to a new beginning. Also they kill the libido..Yes, yes, I know I'm single , but it's still no fun feeling dead from the waist down is it guys?

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

drunkmonk;1161271 wrote: there are many different buddhist groups...
not all bad........
use your intuition and stay away from those that proselytize about purity and bang on about we are the best ....you can only get enlightenment from us...etc

Be careful out there. Buddhism is complex, often are the people following it
I recommend a ZEN buddhist group, or FPMT.
I guess being in a spiritual community is like a greenhouse for the mind, take it easy or you might get a sunburn.
There where a lot of mentally ill people in the community I was part of....
Thanks so much for the heads up! I can't really be a part of any group that has the mentality that "we are the best." Except this one. (a JOKE folks. Laugh at me, if you must.) Purity is not something I'm looking to attain, either.
I burn easily and have my fill of nutty, so I'll be on the lookout... Again, thanks.

drunkmonk;1161377 wrote: I've just been to see my GP.. I call him Dr No-Prescribe.
Result tho, I know popping pills isn't the answer because they deal with symptoms and don't cure causes,(except you Baclofen ;-)
but he agreed to put me back on the happy pills.

I understand him tho, mixing alcohol with SSRI's isn't the wisest thing... I had to do a bit of careful verbal wrestling with him that lasted only a few moments and he was writing out a prescription. I figured I had nothing to loose... I have to defeat this demon from all angles. I actually hate SSRI's they eventually turn you into a zombie, that isn't depressed---Result maybe, but is also neither ever happy or sad...So they will only be used as the springboard to a new beginning. Also they kill the libido..Yes, yes, I know I'm single , but it's still no fun feeling dead from the waist down is it guys?

lotsa docs go by that name. Hate to say it, I'd consider yourself lucky!
Yeah, the SSRI thing...Why're you on that again? I say that, but then again, it may be just the ticket with bac... Not sure?
Your doc prescribed bac? Wanna put his/her name on the thread?

Hope you'll stick around, it's really fun to get to know interesting new people.

And dude, the relapse sounds like one for the books. I'm really, really sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad it'll be the last one...EVER.

Ne

[drunkmonk]

Hi all. Update time..dont expect ne1 to remember me ...been a while

Ne/Neva Eva;1161526 wrote: Thanks so much for the heads up! I can't really be a



lotsa docs go by that name. Hate to say it, I'd consider yourself lucky!
Yeah, the SSRI thing...Why're you on that again? I say that, but then again, it may be just the ticket with bac... Not sure?
Your doc prescribed bac? Wanna put his/her name on the thread?
Ne

No he didn't prescribe bac, sorry for the misunderstanding..
I was on Sertraline (Zoloft) for moderate depression last November...and it helped me. Didnt do anything for the drinking, im sorry to say,, in fact I had a few more trainwrecks in DEC due to the meds increasing the effect of alc.....but I figured today I'll go back on it for a while along with the Bac, as part of my addiction is self medicating for depression i think.
I can pm u a website for bac thats the cheapest ive seen (onless anyone knows better) its only the 10mg x100one tho.

(oh its gone up to 13.20 from around 12.30 boo!)
Free airmail post if u spend over 30? too. My last shipment only took about 4 days too.