I have been trying to stay positive, trying to go up to get rid of SE's rather than down. I am now up to 160 a day and I just cant do this any more. I want to get out of my own body. I hate this feeling it is awful, there is no respite it is 24/7 I have even started to have suicidal thoughts (something I have never had as I know the pain this can cause, my father was an alcoholic and commited suicide when I was 12, it was the most painful experience and I promised myself that however bad things got I could never do that to my family) as I just need to get out of my body and find some respite from this.
I know I need to go down, wish I hadnt kept pushing up every 5 to 7 days. I have been on 160 for 3 days, how quickly can I go down. Dont really understand the tapering down thing. Just need to get off this merry go round. Maybe I can get some relief at lower doses. I have been AF for 3 weeks except for one glass of wine last night to celebrate my hubbies birthday, so maybe I can keep going at lower doses.
How quickly can I safely go down, do I need to go down at 20 per 5 days, because if I do, I think I will need to book myself in to some sort of rehab as I am already at the end of my tether, I have literally waited until I CAN NO LONGER carry on like this. How quickly can I get down to say 100 without making the side effects go worse.
I am also at the docs tomorrow. I really dont think I can tell him about the bac, do not think he will understand, but how can he treat my symptoms if I dont tell him? Although I instinctively know all of my symptoms are down to the bac, I have no doubt about that now.
Can anyone offer any advice please?
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