I have ordered baclofen today for the first time. This is in the hope that it will cure me of my binge eating/anxiety/nail biting/binge drinking/hair pulling issues. I'm quite scared because although I've spoken to a psychiatrist over the 'phone about my intentions no doctor will be monitoring me. He suggested I begin10mg x 3 a day for a week and then go up to 20mg x3 the following week and so forth.
Does anyone have any thoughts?
My story in brief:
I am tremendously happily married to a very considerate and kind man and *Mother to a really lovely little girl. I *am half Italian and half English and when I was 3 and a 1/2 years old we moved to the Paris region.
My parents wanted me to be bilingual *and so placed me in an all French speaking nursery which *was a really great idea (I'm trilingual and define myself very much as a multi lingual speaking person) but I found the experience very stressful. The teachers were not understanding or particularily kind or helpful towards me. My parents didn't understand what was going on and that *is when I began to pull my hair out. I remember feeling very anxious throughout my childhood. Fear of being ridiculed, of being found out as lacking, of being *a disappointment. (the french education in its approach is very much about the stick, not the carrot)
When I was 11, my Mother contracted cancer and for the next 5 years she struggled very bravely with it but tragically she died when I was 16. My Father was then expatriated to Malaysia when I was 17 and took my younger sister with him. I stayed in France to finish my education in France and frankly it was a pretty difficult period in my life.
I still pull my hair. Whenever I feel stressed or anxious I pull my hair out and feel a certain release. I feel utterly compelled to do it. Almost as if the desire to do it is stronger than me. The same applies to biting my nails and for many years I was bulimic. I smoked very heavily for 15 years. Now I binge eat. I feel as though I am possessed by something else when the urge comes upon me and I cannot stop. Once the craving appears I can't think of anything else. Afterwards I am filled with self loathing.
I am so tired of constantly battling these demons. I so envy others their calm and control. I picked up Olivier Ameisen's book because I was feeling so desperate. I have read countless self help books and have been on all types of diets. I want to be free and that is the message which leaps out from his book. He is finally free!
Thank you for reading!
Does anyone have any thoughts?
My story in brief:
I am tremendously happily married to a very considerate and kind man and *Mother to a really lovely little girl. I *am half Italian and half English and when I was 3 and a 1/2 years old we moved to the Paris region.
My parents wanted me to be bilingual *and so placed me in an all French speaking nursery which *was a really great idea (I'm trilingual and define myself very much as a multi lingual speaking person) but I found the experience very stressful. The teachers were not understanding or particularily kind or helpful towards me. My parents didn't understand what was going on and that *is when I began to pull my hair out. I remember feeling very anxious throughout my childhood. Fear of being ridiculed, of being found out as lacking, of being *a disappointment. (the french education in its approach is very much about the stick, not the carrot)
When I was 11, my Mother contracted cancer and for the next 5 years she struggled very bravely with it but tragically she died when I was 16. My Father was then expatriated to Malaysia when I was 17 and took my younger sister with him. I stayed in France to finish my education in France and frankly it was a pretty difficult period in my life.
I still pull my hair. Whenever I feel stressed or anxious I pull my hair out and feel a certain release. I feel utterly compelled to do it. Almost as if the desire to do it is stronger than me. The same applies to biting my nails and for many years I was bulimic. I smoked very heavily for 15 years. Now I binge eat. I feel as though I am possessed by something else when the urge comes upon me and I cannot stop. Once the craving appears I can't think of anything else. Afterwards I am filled with self loathing.
I am so tired of constantly battling these demons. I so envy others their calm and control. I picked up Olivier Ameisen's book because I was feeling so desperate. I have read countless self help books and have been on all types of diets. I want to be free and that is the message which leaps out from his book. He is finally free!
Thank you for reading!
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