Earlier this year in Feb, I hit my switch to indifference with BAC at 275mg. I have to confirm that it is REAL and it is amazing how it happens.
However, after 3.5 weeks of abstinence, I had to take a business trip and began dabbling with moderation. At first, it was amazing! I could drink. and stop. Go home and actually be done for the night. Nothing short of a miracle (for me anyway). Then I began to get cocky and started testing myself. Wanted to push it and actually see if I could get drunk (twisted thinking I know), but I did it. Then again, then again. I actually pushed myself out of indifference (all the while still taking 200mg a day) until I was back drinking like my old self. Me = :nutso:
After a summer full of crazy sh*t and my family pretty much disowning me, I decided to start fresh at the end of August and began titrating up once again. I was already at 200, so I went up to 225, then 250, then 275, then 300 (over a 2 week period). This time I did NOT face the horrible side effects that I had had the last time (crawl out of my skin visions that wouldn't leave my head, terrible stuffy head syndrome, loss of voice, weight gain, etc. etc.). This time I had no SE's and didn't even recognize a 'switch', but I did recognize that I did not care if I drank. :wd:
That was 14 days ago and I have not had a drink since, nor have I wanted one. I am currently still at 250 and will hold here for a bit before slowly going back down to 200. This BAC is a miracle for me. I wish it were not so expensive (I buy from 4rx and usually pay the extra for the tracking number... i'm a control freak that way :P ) but it is what it is and I have to have it.
Thanks to all of you out there that I feel like I know since I stalk these boards regularly, but don't usually say much. It is all of you that kept me going before Feb to actually push through those horrible SE's to get to my switch... a venture that was tough, but oh so worth it!
Good luck to all who are attempting this journey. Stick it out and as Ig on these boards
once told me... Just keep taking the pills :groupluv:
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