Quick advice needed!

[windycitylady]

So I have found that I cannot function at work currently at a dosage of 200mg due to fogginess and clumsiness. Dropped to 175. Began feeling extreme anxiety. Hands shaking, face buzzing, heart pounding anxiety. I can't tell if this due to baclofen or the situation at work. Dropped to 150 after two or three days. Having about the same amount of anxiety along with devastating depression and a feeling of being disassociated from reality. And I'm still experiencing the fogginess and clumsiness. I HAVE to get rid of these as soon as possible. Is it too early to drop to 125? Is my anxiety most likely caused by the bac or external events? I'm scared shitless right now. Of taking the bac and not taking the bac. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

[Guest]

Quick advice needed!

When I was around the 180mg mark I had that detached from reality feeling, didn't have the anxiety as such but did have depression. It went right away when I titrated off Baclofen(and hadn't beent there previously), so for me I could only attribute it to Baclofen. Many here say SEs are dose specific and at the time were telling me to up my dose.

[Greg]

Quick advice needed!

One other idea for these anxiety attacks could be a beta-blocker drug, something like propranolol, but you would need to consult an understanding doctor first to make sure there are no dangerous interactions with baclofen (or anything else you take). Beta blockers can have some serious side effects and issues, but they do help with adrenaline-type anxiety/panic symptoms in many cases. This isn't medical advice, just a suggestion you could ask a doctor about. Sorry that I can't help with the actual cause of this problem.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Quick advice needed!

Hiya, Windy.
How long have you been taking it again? I don't know if I'd go down anymore. I would think the opposite approach would work better. Go up to 160 or whatever the equivalent of half a pill is.

FTR, I had the recent experience of going down, then up, then down again through 180mg. Each time my SEs returned at 180mg and I was miserable.

Take care Windy. It absolutely WILL get better. It's the level, and jumping around, not the sum total of bac.

[windycitylady]

Quick advice needed!

Goddamn.

Thank you all so much.

It has taken me many years to realize that I often get anxious about my anxiety. But I can't afford to let it paralyze me, so I put one foot in front of the other and try to move forward. This has led to very ritualistic behaviors that may or may not actually help me. I have to eat a certain amount of protein and fiber before work, I have to sleep a certain amount, I can't drink more than a certain amount. I take specific supplements at specific times. I cannot wear glasses to work, has to be contacts. The only variable I don't understand at this point is the bac.
It makes sense that I'm more anxious about work. I am not too concerned about anonymity to tell you that I am a fine dining server in an absurdly small staff of only four people. Our most senior server, who's been there twenty years (!) has pneumonia, and I've been given his section and am responsible for his officework. Also, my boss is a screaming spitting sociopath. I made a very innocent mistake the other day that wasn't my fault at all, and was subject to a brutal, cruel rant during which I felt as though he was trying his hardest not to hit me. All of this is none of your concerns, I realize, just letting you know why I've been having a hard time. To know that going down on the bac is not effecting me phisiologically the way I thought it might be is very comforting. I've got more to say and will post again in about an hour. But for now, it's time for my high protein/high fiber bar and low sodium V8 before work!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, guys!

[windycitylady]

Quick advice needed!

See? There was no low sodium V8 in the firge and I freaked. Had to make a special stop at Walgreen's.
So, interaction with my supps was mentioned. I take gaba and taurine in the mornings. I did eliminate these early on in my bac taking but to no effect, so I resumed them.
I don't take any ssri's, but I do take 800mg gabapentin for depression and anxiety. It is contraindicted (sp?) With the bac, but because of increased risk of somnalence and the like. Not insanity.
I would LOVE some valium. Not for recreational use. I probably wouldn't take it before work, but it would help at night and to get me over this last hump with drinking so I can go completely AF. Bluto, what are these "crisis centers"? And how do I explain myself without sounding like a complete drug seeker?
Reggie, thanks for the support and the soothing jam. Very sweet.
Uk blond, I had to smile when I read your post. I recently imagined a post apcolyptic world where there was no internet. You and ne had somehow managed to skywrite and it said "Baclofen!" "No, naltrexone!" "No, baclofen!" Maybe I will give TSM a shot down the road.
So I did end up taking 125 mg last night, only because I realized it was almost time for bedan and I still had 75 mg left to make it to 150. I spread out 50 mg over an hour and went to sleep. I feel a million times better today, and I owe it to all of you. It looks like I won't be able to go high enough to hit the switch, at least not anytime soon, but I'm going to continue to take the bac, maybe hover around 125 or 150, see how I feel. I do believe iit has lessened my cravings somewhat. I do want to go completely AF soon though. And I do want to look for a new job. But that's a whole other set of anxieties and fears.
But, yeah, thanks again. And I am feeling more clear-headed and lessy dizzy today on the decreased dose. Off to wonderful, soothing, supportive workplace!

[RudyB]

Quick advice needed!

wow, windy! you've given a huge window into your world here! i waitressed in nyc for several years, mostly dumb trendy places with a dozen waitresses or so. i was disposable, pretty much. but the pressure was greuling at times, and it did stress me out. you have my total sympathy! yep, sounds to me like you've got a heap of reasons in your work life to be under heaps of anxiety. people have given you good advice and support, i see. i'm just here to pile on my own, and to tell you that this, too, shall pass. my vote, if it isn't obvious, is that it's work not bac that's zinging you out into anxiety-dom. tell your BOSS to take a valium! shit, it's just food for rich people! could you suggest serving it in doggie bowls with bib-service? give 'em some perspective!

...not to make light of your situation, not at all. just sayin'... don't let that crap drive you to drink, or tremble in anxious fear. you'll get it sorted, as murph would say. good luck. i've got your bac. (and if nothing else, you could move to nyc, have a fabulous life in some hot spot making a few hundred bucks a night. and if that one doesn't work out, move on to the next hot spot. they come and go like fleas.)

love ya. stay strong!
rudy

[SlipperyPete]

Quick advice needed!

windycitylady;1176368 wrote: I feel a million times better today, and I owe it to all of you.

Windy, you're the other Eminem fan around these here parts, right?
For this metaphor, imagine bac as AA, and MWO'ers as Slim Shady:

I?m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We?ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin you know that, you?re not alone
Holla if you feel like you?ve been down the same road

Thought you might get a kick outta that

[Lo0p]

Quick advice needed!

I used to work in fine dining. I'm more casual/upscale casual now.

I remember the panic attacks. Damn, when you're a server, that's the last thing you need! :H (not funny but...:H).

Are you a patient of Dr. Levin's or not?

[redhead77]

Quick advice needed!

Hi WCL!

I woke up to briefly visit the threads, but I fear I already need to go back to bed. :H I wanted to tell you I am reading and I have some stuff to contribute, but I can't do it right now.

I think LoOp's Dr L question is pertinent, although I know the answer. Maybe it's time to change that? Seriously WCL, I read on the newbie thread some time ago that you are spending close to amounts in rent on your bac ordering it overseas. I don't know if you saw what Ne posted on the cheap bac at some of the pharmacies, but you don't have to spend that kind of money with a legitimate script. It could be super cheap. He could also provide assistance in other areas with pharmaceuticals...the anxiety area, if he deems necessary.

*I thought your post to Sammy was spectacular. It was right on, in my opinion. I have so much I'd like to say around here...sigh.

Here's where I'll leave it with you. :l:l:l

[redhead77]

Quick advice needed!

Hi WCL,

I said I'd be back and I wasn't...until now. How are you doing? I read your posts and they resonated strongly with me. Firstly, I had a major struggle at work while on bac. The foggy thinking you describe was the worst part for me. I'm a critical care nurse and I have to have my head on straight to function at work. My very busy ICU is in the business of hearts and brains, which is rather unusual.

I spent months here carefully wording everything I said to avoid being discovered. I'm not worried about it anymore. I feel if anyone from my job is here, there is a reason to be. People don't search for this stuff unless they need to.

I'll admit I don't have one demanding boss. I do have close daily contact with CV and neuro surgeons...need I say more? :H My employer only hires nurses with a certain level of education and they are very picky. They require us to stay current on evidence based practice in both my specialty areas. Some of the info they deliver, the rest they expect me to get on my own time. We do daily rounds in the morning. I talk to a rather large group of people about my patients. I best know what's going on too. My medical director thinks the nurses should have a knowledge base like a medical resident. He quizzes and asks crazy questions that maybe even a resident wouldn't know. It's ridiculous and almost cruel. He's stopped doing it with me, he knows I'll know the answer and :H. Piss off, ya know? Actually, he sounds a little like your boss.

I had intense anxiety before work. Sometimes I still do. And being on HDB in the various stages has been a real challenge. I have good days and bad. Sometimes it's the dose. Sometimes it's the day. Sometimes I just plain can't figure it out. I study myself and my dosing too. I still don't have the answers. I'll do well with the SEs and then they come back with a vengeance.

Just like you, I took to creating as much structure as possible to function at my job. I would try to only drink a certain amount the night before work. It didn't always work. I took supplements to make sure I was replacing anything I would lose from drinking and other supplements too. I know we've talked about the fact that we're both supp junks. I would make sure to eat certain things and amounts. Come supplied with snacks in my pockets, so my blood sugar wouldn't crash. All these things helped when I was drinking and then later, but it didn't change or reduce the SEs.

I've thought no less than 100 times that I'm going to quit this drug. I then think of the alternative, to go back to drinking up to 2 bottles of wine a night. I would have probably lost my job eventually, anyway. In the last year I was there, I had verbal counseling for calling in too much. I needed to pop xanax at work to stop the shakes after a night of heavy drinking, and to deal with my extreme day after drinking anxiety. My looks were starting to change from too much booze. Some of my lab work came back showing macrocytosis without anemia-a good indication of an alcoholic. Did I say, I worked with my personal physician? All these things have gone away. As has my incredible self loathing from doing this and trying to hide it.

I don't know where you're at in this WCL. I'm hoping you can find a way to make it through it and not give up. We haven't heard from you in a few days. I just thought I owed you the follow up when I told you I'd deliver.

Lastly, and once again. :l:l:l

EDIT: I may have to delete this post after a bit. I'll no doubt get nervous that I've said too much. I'll make sure to leave it up for a bit for you though, WCL.

[windycitylady]

Quick advice needed!

Hey all! Yes, red, I haven't checked in here in a while. Thought this thread would drop like a stone. Short on time right now, but I'll definitely post later with a new set of questions. I think I've decided not to pursue the switch and to try instead to use bac at a lower dosage to help with cravings. Like I said, I'll be back later tonight, but just a quick thanks in the meantime to everyone who continued to post. And, pete, I do love that song, makes me teary. Also love,
That's the sound of a bottle
When it's hollow
When you swallow it all,
Wallow, drown in your sorrows,
And tomorrow, you're probably gonna do it again.
Shit! What's a little spinal fluid between you and a friend?

Not quite as inspirational, I know. Anyway, that's all for now!
Thanks again.

[RudyB]

Quick advice needed!

heya windy! lookin forward to the update...

[redhead77]

Quick advice needed!

Me too Windy. I deleted the post now that I know you've read it.

[windycitylady]

Quick advice needed!

Ahhhh...Sundays are like my friday. I have mondays and tuesdays off and I'm always in such a good mood sunday nights. And I got off 3 hours early. Awesome.
Ruby! I hated that you'd post something for me somewhere, and that's when for unrelated reasons, I'd stop posting there and never get back to you. I have a lot to say to you about Medium, your job, smoking, books, finding a shaggable dude...tons of stuff. And my bf and I were talking the other day about cool shit kids say, and I repeated your son's infinity quote to him, if that's ok. It was just too profound and cute at the same time!
Red, thank you for sharing so much with me. Before I started the bac, I read your thread from the beginning. Though what my job is much less important (not the right word, but I'm trying to be quick) than yours, I related so much to your concerns about bac side effects. I can't imagine the stress you're under on a day to day basis even under the best fo circumstances, without drinking or bac. My cousin is in a simillar profession, and her response to my work issues was along the lines of "You think that's bad? Listen to THIS shit..." Thanks for not approaching me like that.
Let's see...I've been hovering around 125 mg/day on the bac. Feeling ok.definite reduction in side effects (ruby, we gotta talk about super vivid dreams/nightmares, jesus, that shit was scary!), and still less cravings for al. I think. Maybe. Sorta.
I was determined to go alcohol free the other night. Took a baclofen and some glutamine. Took a hot bath with epsom salts. Had pleasant thoughts in the bath with epsom salts (yeah, I was pulling out all the stops). Took some kudzu, tryptophan, and theanine. Smoked a little "something special". And drank. Sigh.
I think at this point I need to be fousing less on the biochemical aspects of my drinking and more on my psychology. Maybe this won't be a popular opinion here in the meds forum.I do think the bac and supps are helping (maybe, sorta), but I have to take into account that I have built my life and my mind around al for many years. Against my better judgement, I did read "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. I think I deliberately sped through it, didn't want too much to sink in, but it still had a pretty profound effect on me. (And I generally hate memoirs about addiction) She discussed at length her anorexia. At the time that I was reading it, I thought I was doing a Loop type thing, getting in shape while sobering up. I realized I wasn't doing that at all. I was intentionally eating only 900 calories a day. This is something I haven't done since pre-drinking days, and it had nothing to do with self-improvement.
Anyhow, I'm getting off track here. I am not under Dr. L's care or any doctor's. I suspect he gets bombarded with requests from people here. I think I saw his home phone number posted once. That seemed extreme. And, yes, red, I did spend a ton of money on bac, but I was doing my math wrong, and ended up with months' worth, which isn't to say I wouldn't mind paying less. I did read that thread ne posted. And I do think, no, I know that some valium or xanax would help me immensely.
It seems to me that many of us suffer from depression after starting bac. I know most of us probably suffered from it before, but it does seem to worsen with the bac. Am I making this up? It's completely possible. Is it situational, because getting sober is hard, or could it be biochemical?
Well. As usual, this is all over the place, and I probably didn't say what I set out to, but there it is. Thanks all. And red, we need to put some pressure on ne and others. Make the chi town meeting happen!