Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

[Dosage0]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

Was on a short vacation... good times. I don't know how much is positive for working out, but I felt stronger pretty quickly on a low dose.

Still on 30-20-30 and dosing at 0600-0800, 1400, and between 1900-2000.

SIDE EFFECTS

Right around 1300-1500 I get extremely tired. I sometimes have both audio and visual hallucinations but they rarely last long and really aren't as bad / scary as it sounds. Whenever my ears ring my right eye will involuntarily close and in the afternoon it happens around 5 times. I have felt a few times that someone was tapping on my shoulder and when I turned around no one was there, it was just a muscle twitch.

All in all it is not really all that bad. However, I am not currently working and I think it would be tough to work without some sort of nap. I do feel like a zombie, but it will be worth it.

DRINKING LEVEL

My normal drinking is about a 750 of Jager a night. I do not think about drinking as much as I did in the past, but once I start drinking hard liquor I tend to drink until I pass out. Part of it is because I don't remember how to fall asleep without passing out, so some of it is just getting used to not getting stupid drunk. Last night I drank a 3/4 glass of Tequila in a margarita, a tilt (about 3-4 beers in one can.. nasty stuff), a 24 oz of budweiser, and a very small amount of a second tilt. In my mind in terms of a standard 12 oz beer, that is about a twelve pack. A full 750 taking 1.5oz shots would be about 17 drinks. I'll try to keep tabs on how much I drink for progress.

Rob

[RudyB]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

ah the sweats! i've been having them sumthin awful (at 180)! waking up wet every night, and not from a good dream, alas.

i think it was still on a low dose of bac that i noticed exercise having a much more quick effect on my bod.

dose, those hallucinations are wild, huh?! glad they're not troubling you overmuch. i think they're fun, most times. but the tired takes over way too often. any chance you could steal a nap once at work again? most people can't, i realize, but maybe there's a big bathroom and a place you could stash a mat? a quick cat-sleep does wonders.

good luck with all of this. you sound very strong.
rudy

[redhead77]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

I haven't been able to workout because I haven't been able to sleep for days. Seriously. I've slept all of 45 minutes tonight and it's almost 2am here. Last night, I got 2 maybe 3 hours. The night before the same and before that same. It's a little nuts. I have to be to work at 0700. Sheeeet!

Sorry for the hijack Dose. I think we decided we shouldn't worry about hijacks anymore. OK, maybe Ru decided it, but that's good enough for me. She can make a good decision for the group.

I don't get night sweats anymore...wait! I don't sleep anymore :H. In all seriousness, there was a point on my bac journey, and this was many moons ago, that I woke up every night drenched in sweat. It wasn't pleasant.

Dose, you're sounding very good. Those hallucinations scared the heck out of me. You seem to be taking it all in stride.

I'm going to pray to the sleep gods now. I can get three hours of sleep if they listen...

[SlipperyPete]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

Dosage0;1188935 wrote:
My normal drinking is about a 750 of Jager a night. I do not think about drinking as much as I did in the past, but once I start drinking hard liquor I tend to drink until I pass out. Part of it is because I don't remember how to fall asleep without passing out, so some of it is just getting used to not getting stupid drunk.

You sound just like me! At first I was confused as all hell about going to sleep sober, but it gets much easier. Later on I used 5-HTP at night because it's a mighty fine sleep aid, but I've cut it out entirely. Keeping track of your drinks sounds like a good idea. I just did it mentally, sort of, but it would be nice to be able to look back and see my progression. Looks like you're on the right track! :goodjob:

[Bruunhilde]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

Sounds great Rob. I'm rooting for ya!

[Dosage0]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

Thanks everybody, I am feeling really positive about everything that is going on. I decided to move up a little bit faster and am now at 40-30-40 still at 0800, 1400, and 2000.

Wow... right now I feel stoned, very happy, and completely relaxed. I am so scatterbrained though I cannot keep from jumping up and doing something random. It has taken me three tries to get this far in typing because I keep thinking doing something else would be a good idea? Then I come back and finish.

I was always pretty sure I had some sort of ADD, but this medication is bringing it out more and more as I increase my dose. (Fourth time now lol -- I just went to get the mail).

Last night I drank more than 1/2 of a 750ml of Jager and 2 beers. Nothing really improved in that department yet.

Bac highs are fun! It doesn't last though... always the first uptick in meds for me so far.

Rob

[Bruunhilde]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

It's so wonderful to hear a happy titration story, Dose, instead of the slogging through. Good for you!

I found L-glutamine in high doses made me unable to remember or focus beyond belief. Are you on that?

[SlipperyPete]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

I remember those times vividly. Your titration seems to be like mine. Just wait till you're trying to make a post, and you get lost in thought for 10 minutes, come back to reality, and it happens again. It was very enjoyable for me as I didn't have much stress in my life at the time. Still don't :H. Also, there was a hot tub.

[Dosage0]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

Lucky you got a hot tub... I just have a crappy lawn.

Bruun: No I am not on L-glutamine, but I do take L-arginine. Not sure if that does anything.

The fellas might know L-arginine :H

Back to lala land and being unable to sit still. Oh by the way... I was told I am getting huge, and my arms are noticeably bigger even though I am not working out at all! I think just being relaxed allows my muscles to build? It is strange because I am about the size I was when I was lifting heavy and often without doing any of the lifting! Some side effects are nice

Rob

[SlipperyPete]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

Dosage0;1188935 wrote: I sometimes have both audio and visual hallucinations
Dosage0;1189404 wrote: my arms are noticeably bigger even though I am not working out at all!

:H Sorry I just had to. Sounds like a great SE

And I only had the hot tub for the weekend when I was a super space cadet :upset:

[Dosage0]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

SlipperyPete;1189408 wrote: :H Sorry I just had to. Sounds like a great SE

And I only had the hot tub for the weekend when I was a super space cadet :upset:

BURN!

I am getting a new side effect that isn't nearly as cool. My tongue and my throat feel somewhat numb / not working that well. I have a choking feeling when I eat.

[Dosage0]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

I just wanted to share how little I drank tonight and how crazy the whole feeling is. I drank about 1/4 a bottle of jager and a few beers. I feel like I do not need to drink any more. I watched an episode of hoarders and thought how closely my disease and their disease is. They talk about the panic they feel about losing items. They go into an anxiety that seems so overwhelming, yet similar to how I felt about not drinking. They describe a feeling of helplessness and anxiousness that is eerily similar to how I feel about not having enough alcohol. I have 4 beers and a tilt in my fridge and I don't feel like drinking it at all. I feel like going to sleep instead. I wish I could prescribe all of them a simple pill called baclofen and see if it changes their life as it has done so to mine.

This is insane. I NEVER leave anything in the fridge without drinking it. I feel like my life is being given back to me without much effort at all. I cant explain it and I don't feel like I need to explain anything further to anyone. This is a strange and new feeling because I normally feel like I am on stage and owe everyone an explanation as to why I don't want to continue the "show" that is my life.

I owe my life, my freedom, and my everything to this forum and this site. I am so overjoyed that I cannot express it into words. I love my life as it has been given to me and love every person who contributed to my success. This even includes people that I would have excluded before -- and I wish them freedom.

I encourage anyone, anywhere, under any circumstance, to try baclofen as a way to live. It will give you your life back and your mind back to you. I no longer feel the self hatred that I always felt throughout my life and all of the anxiety that came with it. This is something that every person should feel in their life, if only for a moment.

I know when I wake up tomorrow I will look at this post with shame and horror, but right now I do not care what anyone thinks. This is something that I feel so passionate about that I will carry this moment throughout my life and hopefully to my grave. I just cant express the happiness that I feel in words. Every word I type does not do justice to the way I feel about all of you and all of my hope. I love you all.

Rob at 110mg. I will continue to post my story and continue to titrate higher to completely erase my need to drink.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Just wait, Rob. It just keeps getting better.

Many :l and lots of :H:H:H

(You made my day. Thank you!)

[redhead77]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

:welcome: Rob! I'm so glad this post is still here in the morning.

[LadyLush]

Shotgun Opera Lock and Load

Hey,

I am here too! Whatever you need. You are doing great! I went to 180 and hanging at 80.
Miracle, miracle............

LL