nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

[Solo]

Hi

I've posted here before because I was desperate to stop drinking, and wanted to try Baclofen, which i purchased on the internet and still have.

I never started taking it.

I was on a slow diazepam (valium) withdrawal since December of last year, and somehow found myself in a rock and a hard place, where I'd started drinking spirits staight and then upped my valiums in an attempt to stop drinking.

PMS plays a big factor, not in how I drink, but in my actions if I do. 2 weeks ago I woke up in a London hospital in the Critical Ward. i kept going in and out of consiousness, and I couldnt remember anything of how I'd got there, or at the time even what year it was or where I lived or any of the questions they asked me. I woke up on Thursday at 3pm after where I remember some parts of it like being terified I was going to die., and there was lots of doctors there, and I thought I could hear what they where saying and that it wasnt good. And I remember crying I dont want to die. i was hooked up to all kinds of machines and drips and could not move at all even to go to the toilet (they had a tube there)

I later found out that I was admitted through A&E at 7am on the Tuesday morning. I have no memory of that entire day. According to my flatmate (and ex-boyfriend) I had been drinking and he found a bottle of brandy hidden in the food cuppord. He left it there and by the evening it was gone. I went to the shop and got more. Then by about 10pm I was screaming and he found me in the bathroom with foam coming from my mouth and begging for help. He has seen me like this many times before. He gave me some water and I came around. But then he heard me go to the shop again. I guess I drank another bottle of brandy. I started screaming and shouting and he tried shut me up, which resulted in the police being called and him being asked to leave the flat. After that I guess I drank more. But even worse I think I tried to kill myself while I was drunk. I had 100 baclofen tablets, but when I came back from the hospital there where less that 70 left. One of things they told me at the hospital was that I had told them I'd taken Baclofen.

Horribly, since then I've been drinking. I havnt been able to stop.

Please what can I do?

I'm still taking valiums (about 10mg a day) and my doctor has now prescribed me Citralopam which is an SSRI.

Is it safe to take Baclofen.

I'm scared for myself

[Bruunhilde]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Oh Solo!

I'm so sorry about your traumatic experience, and that its continuing (the hard drinking). PMS is an awful thing, most of us here find it makes our drinking much much worse that week. Its just RIDICULOUS that hormones can make a sane person insane enough that we don't recognize ourselves.

Does the healthcare system have a detox program? I think I've learned from reading around here that its very backed up and hard to get into. You obviously need something like that PLUS maybe baclofen or something. I wish I knew enough to offer help or something. The only thing that helps me with my frenzies is gabapentin, but tolerance builds to it and you need more and more, so not sure that's a good solution but just a stop-gap, you know, a bandage to the problem until more help can be had.

Hang in there, breathe deep and stop the panicked thinking, just stop the sentences in your head over and over and over. If you believe in a god at all, pray for help and know you'll get it because just knowing it will help you. Wait and know that something will come through for you. The desperate thinking is part of what drowns me ... emotionally, functionally, alcoholically.

Hugs to you. :l

[Solo]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Thanks

Its the depression so hard to handle. I've already been through a 2 week detox programme..that was last december. I feel inside that I need this again, because I've had to admit that I just cant do it on my own. I try but I cant. I'm being given councelling but went on Friday and I'd had a 10ml measure before I went plus speed, because I messed up a job interview I had Friday morning, by getting drunk the day before.

The health professionals have prescribed Naxolone. Didnt take that either.

Whats wrong with me?

[Bruunhilde]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

You need after-care after the two week stint then. They should start you on it in rehab.

Believe me when I say I understand the compulsion, the requirement for alcohol. It has been my escape from my high anxiety brain. I tend to be ultra-sensitive to situations (like alot of us here) and spiral out of control.

You're an alcholic, that is what's wrong. Have you ever read "Seven Weeks to Sobriety" the book? It will tell you a story you can relate to and provide a nutritional solution (tons of supplements) you probably won't use, but at least you will understand how you got here, in alcoholic land. You are NOT a bad person. Stop hitting yourself over the head about that, because I feel you probably are? That will help reduce your stress a bit then maybe you can take a few other steps, one at a time, that will help you gain control.

Since you have the Nal, take one now. JUST ONE. You don't want to do what alcoholics are prone to do and overdose on everything in desperation. Just take the one today.

I know you have baclofen too so you could also take ONE pill per day of this instead. I would try the bac for a week, one pill a day and see what your reaction is like. I'm hopeful that one pill will help you feel better.

You could take both at once, but I would try one rx at a time, not both, because you won't know which one is causing which reaction and if suddenly you feel like you have a choice (where you didn't feel like you had one before regarding whether to get bombed or not) you won't know which pill got you there. Maybe it was one or maybe it was both.... so start with one and add in the other later. You might try the bac right now, its calming for some people. Take one pill and pat yourself on the back.

You're trying to heal yourself, this is the battle of your life, and you know what? Most people won't understand that, so keep posting here where we DO.

Take care, honey.

[Bruunhilde]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Solo;1178916 wrote:
Its the depression so hard to handle. Whats wrong with me?

Forgot to say this: Gabapentin has really helped with anxiety and depression for me. Really really. Check out Murphy's thread, we just discussed it, or my thread which talks about it too.

[RudyB]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

aw solo, yours sounds like a terrible time!

for depression, many have had good luck w 5htp. some find it works instantly, as it's like a seratonin replacement. think it's an amino acid, and it's fairly cheap in health food stores. worth a shot.

i think bruun gives great advice. rehab without followup support is incomplete.

yes, stop the negatives in your head. they don't help. envision the life you desire, and go back to that vision a thousand times a day. hang in there. it WILL get better.

a thousand hugs.
xo rudy

[RedThread12]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Rudy and Bruun have good suggestions. Reading what I can, it sounds like your rock and hard place were similar to mine - I kept trying to convince my friends that I could de-tox myself with valium . . . wrote out the protocol, the whole nine yards. Then proceeded to drink AND take valium until I was ready to die . . . instead found this forum, ordered baclofen online, and quit drinking alcoholically the first day my pills arrived.

So here's what I say. Solo: Who do you have around you that will keep track of what you take in the way of meds and and what you drink? You're story is like that of many of us in the depths of addiction. To get yourself out of this you'll need either professional help, as Bruun suggests - some kind of out-patient or aftercare for addiction, or someone or someway to get you going with baclofen - RESPONSIBILY!

If you're still in a state where you're taking/drinking anything, anytime, go back to the de-tox place. If you can manage to take 5 mg of bacofen 3x per day for 5 days, all the while reading madly all the threads about titration schedules, side effects, successes and failures on bac, DO it. You can start baclofen now. But you have to be at least a little smart about it.

PM me if I can help. Good Luck!

You REALLY need to read as much as you can of the stories of the baclofentists here at MWO. What people like you and I have done, utilizing all the research and information they could glean and adding that to their desperation, has and is saving iives.

IF and I'm very serious about this if, you have someone who will monitor what meds you take and what you drink, then yes, I would start using baclofen. I would not take one pill a day, as Bruun suggests. I would start the normal protocol of 5 mg 3x/day for 4-5 days, then increase accordingly (there are a jillion threads with titration schedules) as long as you can. The stuff works. But it only works if you have enough brain cells left to do it as a true experiment and be willing to keep reading and learning and asking questions.

[Bruunhilde]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Hi Solo,

I would not start out on three pills a day when you only have 70 pills which would provide only 46 days of pills NOT titrating up - assuming they're 10mg. You better have a back-up supply before you attempt this. Running out is not an option once you start going up. And overseas shipment takes close to a month in the states, not sure what its like in the UK. Sometimes it takes even longer. There are many stories here about people running out of pills ...

There are some folks here who've had immediate success with baclofen. There are alot more that have not because they could not sustain the titration schedule due to side effects. I was one. It took several/many weeks to increase my dose to 50mg/day. At 80mg/day, my blood pressure went crazy despite all my BP meds and excellent food diet. I was still drinking and actually drinking MORE with baclofen. Many people report this side effect of drinking more - it ain't just me.

I will also say that lately I've found the low dose baclofen (50mg/day) plus 1200mg gabapentin seems to be helping me feel indifferent. This is only a couple of days so I'm not calling any successes here. However, the gabapentin mood lift is a lifesaver for me, and I keep thinking it would help you. Try Rudy's suggestion of the 5HTP or tryptophan since you can get it local. If it doesn't do the trick, supplement with gabapentin. Seriously, with the depression you describe, its something I can't help but advocate because its been working for me for a couple months. Like others can't help but advocate baclofen because it worked for them.

I think its only fair to give you the basics here, including all the stuff that people don't like to talk about. I'm assuming this post will garner negatives from the bacsters who had quick success over a period of months, and who were able to get through the side effects and still carry on. You, like me, have no life partner right now to help you through. It seems to make a difference when the baclofen dosages and frequency of dosing becomes high. I'm assuming some people here are single without local support like me, and got through, but they didn't have the BP problems or they would have had to quit or have a stroke. Apparently.

Last, and ironically, I am still hopeful drugs/baclofen will be possible for me. And you! With less alcohol consumption, and less body mass/fat, I am lowering my BP and hopefully I will be able to titrate up from the 50mg/day I'm at today. I add this so that you are also hopeful, and likely you don't have my specific issues, and most people don't have the BP issue but other issues. They don't post much here because they get flack for complaining/whining. And SOME people were freed from the beast at 80-120mg/day! 80mg didn't do it for me at all, however, never say never. Baclofen never seems to be the same from one titration experience to the next. It could be the magic sword for me at 80 next time around. My moral to the story is to use your instincts and don't be fearful which will create side effects in itself, and maybe you'll be FREE in 2 months! It definitely happens for people.

Good luck and keep posting, Solo. Take everything posted with a grain of salt.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Solo!
I'm so sorry for what happened to you! I cannot imagine. I'm very, very glad that you are doing better and are able to come back for some support.

I agree and disagree with the posts above, so rather than confuse matters further, I'll offer this advice in addition to what was written:

Bac's a medication. Take it as though it is. Titrate up. There are too many examples of people taking it haphazardly, with little success, or taking a lot of it to begin with, and going off the rails. Learn from them.
A lot of things interfere with medications. Keep that in mind if you decide to take bac, and pare down to the necessities.

Feel safe. You are. You're still actively looking for a way out, and where there is hope, there is a good chance for both survival and a really, really good outcome.
Feel compassion for yourself. I do, and so does everyone else here.
Be gentle with yourself, too. This will help you make the right decisions--the ones you know how to make and want to make. This will also come in time.
Take really, really good care, okay?
Many hugs and much love,
Ne

[Zephra]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Solo, all I can add is that I am totally rooting for you. You are worth it! z

[Bill.P.]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Look, I mean it sounds like common sense, but if you almost died, you need to be under the care of a doctor.

Now if you were on a desert island, or worse, Antartica, and all you had was someone phoning it in.

Then slowly taper your dose down of valium, taking 1/4 less dose every week, meaning in 4 weeks you are not taking any.
Its a funny thing about receptors in the body, you underwhelm them or overwhelm them, they adapt, make more or less
So any sudden changes in dosages in many drugs causes rebound.

Now that will be 20,000$ worth of med school for that secret

Othewrise, taper up with the baclofen 10mg/ week

Go to alcoholics anonymous 100 days in a row and you'll have the social structure and not die.

You could titrate faster on the baclofen as how you feel. But I completely suggest you do not attempt to cut back to quickly as stated on valium. Particularly if you are cutting down on alcohol.

Also, I highly recommend 100 meetings in 100 days of alcoholics anonymous for the social support you so desparately need

[Bruunhilde]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Solo, where are you?

Hi Solo,

Are you okay?

Good advice Bill.

[wanttobesober]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Hi Solo,

Check out this clip on you tube!

It is about: Nutritional Links to Depression

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZPRNTjrrbY&feature=BFa&list=PLBE309868E60 B0C2E&lf=results_main&index=8[/video]]Nutritional Links to Depression and Mental Illness - YouTube

I hope you feel better!

Cheers,

Brian

[daisy45]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

Solo, just saying hello and I really feel for you. Stay strong and grab on to any support that you can. Wishing you all the best. It can happen - you need to believe in yourself. :l

[Greg]

nearly died 2 weeks ago - baclofen was involved. Need adivce

I have fairly limited involvement in AA, but in your case I would strongly recommend it, due to its ability to offer sober social contact and support to people who are having a real battle. I have found quite a few good and uplifting meetings, although also ones that are less than ideal. You may have to try a number of meetings to find the ones that you feel most comfortable with. Just try to politely ignore any preachy self-righteous types, who unfortunately seem to get a kick out of being on a power trip. Try to get to know the many genuine, kind members who also go to AA, including other newcomers who may be struggling with their lives like you are. Best of luck with it!