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    #16
    My Way Out

    Thanks for your post Cass. I think. I've been a member here since Oct. '09. I was trying to recover from a "relapse" after 3 years of abstinence, doing all the "right" things. It wasn't working. I was drinking all day, every day, couldn't work (self-employed), and could NOT get "out."

    Somehow I found MWO, read reports from the very few members who were experimenting withbaclofen then, ordered "the book," and ordered baclofen online. When I received it, I took my first 10 mg pill in the parking lot of the post office where I picked it up, and quit drinking alcoholically THAT DAY. That's just how it worked for me. I've had a full a productive life, non-afflicted by alcohol (although I'm not abstinent), from the first day. No issues with the few side-effects that appeared, and absolutely owe my life, my sanity (:H) and thousands of dollars that I saved from not going to the ER when I accidentally overdosed on baclofen to MWO and reading so many of the postings for all this time that I didn't have to freak.

    I don't have my own thread. I check in and contribute when and how I can. That has included overniting meds to members in distress and other not-so-visible ways of doing what I can to help keep us from dying of this totally misunderstood disease.

    Everyone has their point of view, and one of the reasons I never started my own thread was because I'm not much of a rule-follower, a joiner, or an evaluator (as in judging others for anything). I didn't follow the baclofen suggestions from the beginning, so I didn't see any point in posting and getting sh*t about it. And I felt fine about that, because I gained SO much from reading about everyone's experience and contributing without becoming a focus of anyone's attention.

    Here's a little MWO history from RedThread12's point of view (really, only my point of view, so please, everyone, don't object to it!): LoOp was the first, then Otter, with his fully informed, way off the charts posts! and NeEver; then a few more, then Murphyx, who all, to my delight and respect, blew the board wide open with their utter honesty, forthrightness and disregard of "appropriateness" when it comes to saving their own and other people's lives from this fucking disease. They made space for me to actually start to post and participate and I :bow to all of them. I think I've told them that in other posts and ways, but here it is again.

    I've been out of the country, involved in finding a way to slow my mother's demise into dementia (and through the same kind of research that brought me to MWO, we're making progress there, and THAT'S a story worthy of a book), and then I check into MWO and WTF!!! Murphyx has been banned!?!?!? What a tragedy of misunderstanding and, IMO (again, please don't give me a raft for my own opinion, I'm not blaming anyonw), pettiness. I've done a lot of organizing, a lot of working with people at fairly high levels who have committed their lives to major movements to try to improve life for all of us.

    And this is where is ALWAYS ends. The big picture DISAPPEARS. Saving the planet, saving people from dying from alcohol with baclofen or in any other way . . . everything falls to the wayside because someone takes something personally, has a different world-view than someone else and has no tolerance and plenty of righteousness about their own way of seeing things.

    I kind of thought I'd seen this so often that I would be through with having a major reaction. But I've discovered that I'm not. I am heart-broken. Again.

    I haven't and don't have the heart to read back through and figure out who said what to whom. This isn't the first time I've seen someone who had a story, experience and the courage to share it closed off this board by someone with none of the "back-story," and a considerable amount of judgment and righteousness. I'm sure it will happen again. As Ne has so aptly identified them, the "kerfluffles" come and go.

    I just wish people "lurking" and coming new to the board would take the time to go back through the threads and read the a-fucking-mazing things that we do and keep doing to keep from dying. Did you read the thread about the guy who screwed up his baclofen dosages, wound up in the hospital for a month, then came out determined to start baclofen again and get his life back? And did!! Or the thread that got shut down because PaulSlice, with the full support of his family around him, was taking baclofen every hour on the hour in order to come out of a long bender? PaulSlice, btw, is doing fine. But no one knows (except probably a couple of us who were closely involved in that episode), because someone got offended that he was so far beyond the edges of the envelope that the thread got closed.That approach might save someone else's life, but they won't find out about it or read about it here on MWO. Can you say tragedy?

    So, the truth is Cassander, I don't really know what your part in Murphyx's departure was and I'm using your thread to vent. I apologize if it offends you. It is not my intention. And it is not my intention to offend anyone. But, truth to tell, I find that taking offense in almost any case is some part of my own unexamined inner self and generally serves to perpetuate lack of self-examination.

    Huh . . . i just remembered Murph's signature line. I never thought of winding up here, but it's a good place to stop, pay homage to Murph's incredible contributions to this forum and remember that "the unexamined life is not worth living." And I believe that refers to one's own life, not to the examination of other's lives.

    Don't leave, Cassandra. You've just touched the surface of an incredibly deep well of, as you described, highly intelligent people, sharing their journeys' in order to help others. There's soooo much of value here in so many ways. Immerse yourself. Drink in the desperation and courage; the commitment to help others; the many, many ways that we all are dying to keep ourselves and others from dying from the deeply misunderstood disease of alcoholism. And help us out. We all need everybody.

    Peace out, all (thanks, ne!)

    Beth
    "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

    Comment


      #17
      My Way Out

      wow, cassander, yours is an excellent post, once again! through all the hash-slinging, i was always relieved to come upon your posts; they were like a cool drink of water in an unwelcome heat wave. of course i hope you'll stick around, as we need people like you here so very much.

      it's good to read about your son.

      i don't understand your objection, redthread, to cassander's post. (and i sure as hell don't understand the aggressive, hateful replies to it! but i'm not even going to touch those.) maybe you'll be back to make it more clear. doesn't sound like cassander is blaming or offending, and i know you, cassander, had nothing to do with murph's unfortunate departure. the last thing i want to do is perpetuate negative exchanges; i'm just bewildered is all.

      i'm hoping i'll be seeing you again and again on these boards. indeed, i do look for you!

      rudy

      Comment


        #18
        My Way Out

        red67;1186266 wrote: Anything that gets a person sober, or not alcohol dependant is a good thing. I dont understand why people would fight over which way is better. I believe this site is designed for all of us. Thats why it is called my way out. I joined this site because of all the different ways people were getting away from the hell of alcohol dependance/abuse. It appealed to me because of the diversity and ideas. I hope this doesnt change.
        Best post I have
        had in a long time.

        LL
        The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings.

        *Don't look where you fall, look why you slipped*

        Comment


          #19
          My Way Out

          oh, that's what i was gonna ask, cassandra-er: how could you delete the dork and zork posts? are you on the board of directors? just curious. (and i feel i should qualify my tone, in light of recent mud-slinging vibes: it is a sincere and direct question. no funny subtext, no shadowy feelings therein.)

          Comment


            #20
            My Way Out

            Wow, just wow.
            From all of you, from both sides. What an incredible waste of energy and effort.
            I refuse to be labelled or ashamed. Through my struggles I am achieving self awareness and clarity.

            Comment


              #21
              My Way Out

              right back atcha, dave!

              Comment


                #22
                My Way Out

                Okay, so I'll clean this up as best I can. I really wasn't accusing Cass of anything. As I noted, I was just using his thread to vent about what happened to Murph and what has happened to some very important information found in threads that were "closed" because of judgement and reaction.

                This was the first thread I saw that acknowledged the huge contributions that Murph and some of our gloriously out-spoken members have made and I did what I have not done in the 3 years I have been on the board - I expressed my opinion about people who post without doing their research and without understanding some of the incredible history of this forum. It wasn't Cass, and we have PM's and I've apologized for mis-using his thread.

                And more unfortunately, I think the point of my lengthy post got completely lost in my mis-chosen placement. I think that the thread history of baclofen on MWO has the most, and most comprehensive, information about ithe use that is available anywhere (except perhaps the French forum, which I can't read). It is an incredible resource and anyone taking baclofen will get great benefit from reading as much as possible, including the threads which, like Murph's, got shut down for reasons having nothing to do with their incredible contributions to helping people learn how to get well with baclfoen. They got shut down for other reasons having to do with other members judgments about what it is okay to post and what is not.

                And I was really, deeply sad that, once again, it's issues of personality that derail incredibly well-intended efforts. It happened this time around trying to save people from dying from alcohol, but I've been involved in exactly the same dynamic with groups working to keep nuclear power plants from being built in their town, groups of community activists working to address truly important issues for the underprivileged. . . and lots more. I guess this just "pulled my string" about all of that. It's actually a big reason I've been on the board 3 years, post rarely, but make significant contributions to members in distress when I see the opportunity - and there have been many.

                I completely agree with Dave. Wow. Just wow. Perhaps even my post was a waste of energy and effort. Maybe what I should do is just open a thread - probably repeatedly, over time, asking baclofenists to read its history here on MWO.
                "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

                Comment


                  #23
                  My Way Out

                  heya redthread! sorry if i contributed to a button push! didn't mean to, was just trying to understand. and i think your posts are very positive and helpful. you've definitely cleared up my confusion about where you're coming from. so thanks. and thanks especially for voicing your ideas about what happened to murph and to others. it's scary to do so in this climate, but we must. score one for the helpful contributors!

                  i vote to keep this and similar conversations alive.
                  rudy

                  Comment


                    #24
                    My Way Out

                    The Paulslice thread was closed down on medical advice, not by anyone on the forum, just to clarify.
                    BACLOFENISTA

                    baclofenuk.com

                    http://www.theendofmyaddiction.org





                    Olivier Ameisen

                    In addiction, suppression of symptoms should suppress the disease altogether since addiction is, as he observed, a "symptom-driven disease". Of all "anticraving medications used in animals, only one - baclofen - has the unique property of suppressing the motivation to consume cocaine, heroin, alcohol, nicotine and d-amphetamine"

                    Comment


                      #25
                      My Way Out

                      That may be true, Otter, but it is also true that Susannah withdrew from participating in the forum because of harassment.
                      "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

                      Comment


                        #26
                        My Way Out

                        RedThread12;1186725 wrote: That may be true, Otter, but it is also true that Susannah withdrew from participating in the forum because of harassment.
                        don't sweat the small stuff... its more important to get your experience out for others than it is to mesh with every "idiot" on the forum. And I mean idiot in the nicest way that still meets the definition :H

                        Rob

                        Comment


                          #27
                          My Way Out

                          I don't sweat the small stuff, Rob. You have no idea what I have done over the course of 3 years to help people all over the world.

                          And I've never made a single post suggesting to anyone what they should or shouldn't post, Only my own experience. So, ummm . . . . get off my back, okay?
                          "Wherever you are is the entry point." --Kabir

                          Comment


                            #28
                            My Way Out

                            RedThread, I just wanted to say I understand your post and appreciate it. And no, it didn't seem like you were accusing anyone of anything.
                            Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.
                            George Santayana

                            Comment


                              #29
                              My Way Out

                              RedThread12;1186725 wrote: That may be true, Otter, but it is also true that Susannah withdrew from participating in the forum because of harassment.
                              Yes, that is right, I remember now.
                              BACLOFENISTA

                              baclofenuk.com

                              http://www.theendofmyaddiction.org





                              Olivier Ameisen

                              In addiction, suppression of symptoms should suppress the disease altogether since addiction is, as he observed, a "symptom-driven disease". Of all "anticraving medications used in animals, only one - baclofen - has the unique property of suppressing the motivation to consume cocaine, heroin, alcohol, nicotine and d-amphetamine"

                              Comment


                                #30
                                My Way Out

                                where is cassander? have you left us, kind fellow?

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