My Way Out
Thanks for your post Cass. I think. I've been a member here since Oct. '09. I was trying to recover from a "relapse" after 3 years of abstinence, doing all the "right" things. It wasn't working. I was drinking all day, every day, couldn't work (self-employed), and could NOT get "out."
Somehow I found MWO, read reports from the very few members who were experimenting withbaclofen then, ordered "the book," and ordered baclofen online. When I received it, I took my first 10 mg pill in the parking lot of the post office where I picked it up, and quit drinking alcoholically THAT DAY. That's just how it worked for me. I've had a full a productive life, non-afflicted by alcohol (although I'm not abstinent), from the first day. No issues with the few side-effects that appeared, and absolutely owe my life, my sanity (:H) and thousands of dollars that I saved from not going to the ER when I accidentally overdosed on baclofen to MWO and reading so many of the postings for all this time that I didn't have to freak.
I don't have my own thread. I check in and contribute when and how I can. That has included overniting meds to members in distress and other not-so-visible ways of doing what I can to help keep us from dying of this totally misunderstood disease.
Everyone has their point of view, and one of the reasons I never started my own thread was because I'm not much of a rule-follower, a joiner, or an evaluator (as in judging others for anything). I didn't follow the baclofen suggestions from the beginning, so I didn't see any point in posting and getting sh*t about it. And I felt fine about that, because I gained SO much from reading about everyone's experience and contributing without becoming a focus of anyone's attention.
Here's a little MWO history from RedThread12's point of view (really, only my point of view, so please, everyone, don't object to it!): LoOp was the first, then Otter, with his fully informed, way off the charts posts! and NeEver; then a few more, then Murphyx, who all, to my delight and respect, blew the board wide open with their utter honesty, forthrightness and disregard of "appropriateness" when it comes to saving their own and other people's lives from this fucking disease. They made space for me to actually start to post and participate and I :bow to all of them. I think I've told them that in other posts and ways, but here it is again.
I've been out of the country, involved in finding a way to slow my mother's demise into dementia (and through the same kind of research that brought me to MWO, we're making progress there, and THAT'S a story worthy of a book), and then I check into MWO and WTF!!! Murphyx has been banned!?!?!? What a tragedy of misunderstanding and, IMO (again, please don't give me a raft for my own opinion, I'm not blaming anyonw), pettiness. I've done a lot of organizing, a lot of working with people at fairly high levels who have committed their lives to major movements to try to improve life for all of us.
And this is where is ALWAYS ends. The big picture DISAPPEARS. Saving the planet, saving people from dying from alcohol with baclofen or in any other way . . . everything falls to the wayside because someone takes something personally, has a different world-view than someone else and has no tolerance and plenty of righteousness about their own way of seeing things.
I kind of thought I'd seen this so often that I would be through with having a major reaction. But I've discovered that I'm not. I am heart-broken. Again.
I haven't and don't have the heart to read back through and figure out who said what to whom. This isn't the first time I've seen someone who had a story, experience and the courage to share it closed off this board by someone with none of the "back-story," and a considerable amount of judgment and righteousness. I'm sure it will happen again. As Ne has so aptly identified them, the "kerfluffles" come and go.
I just wish people "lurking" and coming new to the board would take the time to go back through the threads and read the a-fucking-mazing things that we do and keep doing to keep from dying. Did you read the thread about the guy who screwed up his baclofen dosages, wound up in the hospital for a month, then came out determined to start baclofen again and get his life back? And did!! Or the thread that got shut down because PaulSlice, with the full support of his family around him, was taking baclofen every hour on the hour in order to come out of a long bender? PaulSlice, btw, is doing fine. But no one knows (except probably a couple of us who were closely involved in that episode), because someone got offended that he was so far beyond the edges of the envelope that the thread got closed.That approach might save someone else's life, but they won't find out about it or read about it here on MWO. Can you say tragedy?
So, the truth is Cassander, I don't really know what your part in Murphyx's departure was and I'm using your thread to vent. I apologize if it offends you. It is not my intention. And it is not my intention to offend anyone. But, truth to tell, I find that taking offense in almost any case is some part of my own unexamined inner self and generally serves to perpetuate lack of self-examination.
Huh . . . i just remembered Murph's signature line. I never thought of winding up here, but it's a good place to stop, pay homage to Murph's incredible contributions to this forum and remember that "the unexamined life is not worth living." And I believe that refers to one's own life, not to the examination of other's lives.
Don't leave, Cassandra. You've just touched the surface of an incredibly deep well of, as you described, highly intelligent people, sharing their journeys' in order to help others. There's soooo much of value here in so many ways. Immerse yourself. Drink in the desperation and courage; the commitment to help others; the many, many ways that we all are dying to keep ourselves and others from dying from the deeply misunderstood disease of alcoholism. And help us out. We all need everybody.
Peace out, all (thanks, ne!)
Beth
Thanks for your post Cass. I think. I've been a member here since Oct. '09. I was trying to recover from a "relapse" after 3 years of abstinence, doing all the "right" things. It wasn't working. I was drinking all day, every day, couldn't work (self-employed), and could NOT get "out."
Somehow I found MWO, read reports from the very few members who were experimenting withbaclofen then, ordered "the book," and ordered baclofen online. When I received it, I took my first 10 mg pill in the parking lot of the post office where I picked it up, and quit drinking alcoholically THAT DAY. That's just how it worked for me. I've had a full a productive life, non-afflicted by alcohol (although I'm not abstinent), from the first day. No issues with the few side-effects that appeared, and absolutely owe my life, my sanity (:H) and thousands of dollars that I saved from not going to the ER when I accidentally overdosed on baclofen to MWO and reading so many of the postings for all this time that I didn't have to freak.
I don't have my own thread. I check in and contribute when and how I can. That has included overniting meds to members in distress and other not-so-visible ways of doing what I can to help keep us from dying of this totally misunderstood disease.
Everyone has their point of view, and one of the reasons I never started my own thread was because I'm not much of a rule-follower, a joiner, or an evaluator (as in judging others for anything). I didn't follow the baclofen suggestions from the beginning, so I didn't see any point in posting and getting sh*t about it. And I felt fine about that, because I gained SO much from reading about everyone's experience and contributing without becoming a focus of anyone's attention.
Here's a little MWO history from RedThread12's point of view (really, only my point of view, so please, everyone, don't object to it!): LoOp was the first, then Otter, with his fully informed, way off the charts posts! and NeEver; then a few more, then Murphyx, who all, to my delight and respect, blew the board wide open with their utter honesty, forthrightness and disregard of "appropriateness" when it comes to saving their own and other people's lives from this fucking disease. They made space for me to actually start to post and participate and I :bow to all of them. I think I've told them that in other posts and ways, but here it is again.
I've been out of the country, involved in finding a way to slow my mother's demise into dementia (and through the same kind of research that brought me to MWO, we're making progress there, and THAT'S a story worthy of a book), and then I check into MWO and WTF!!! Murphyx has been banned!?!?!? What a tragedy of misunderstanding and, IMO (again, please don't give me a raft for my own opinion, I'm not blaming anyonw), pettiness. I've done a lot of organizing, a lot of working with people at fairly high levels who have committed their lives to major movements to try to improve life for all of us.
And this is where is ALWAYS ends. The big picture DISAPPEARS. Saving the planet, saving people from dying from alcohol with baclofen or in any other way . . . everything falls to the wayside because someone takes something personally, has a different world-view than someone else and has no tolerance and plenty of righteousness about their own way of seeing things.
I kind of thought I'd seen this so often that I would be through with having a major reaction. But I've discovered that I'm not. I am heart-broken. Again.
I haven't and don't have the heart to read back through and figure out who said what to whom. This isn't the first time I've seen someone who had a story, experience and the courage to share it closed off this board by someone with none of the "back-story," and a considerable amount of judgment and righteousness. I'm sure it will happen again. As Ne has so aptly identified them, the "kerfluffles" come and go.
I just wish people "lurking" and coming new to the board would take the time to go back through the threads and read the a-fucking-mazing things that we do and keep doing to keep from dying. Did you read the thread about the guy who screwed up his baclofen dosages, wound up in the hospital for a month, then came out determined to start baclofen again and get his life back? And did!! Or the thread that got shut down because PaulSlice, with the full support of his family around him, was taking baclofen every hour on the hour in order to come out of a long bender? PaulSlice, btw, is doing fine. But no one knows (except probably a couple of us who were closely involved in that episode), because someone got offended that he was so far beyond the edges of the envelope that the thread got closed.That approach might save someone else's life, but they won't find out about it or read about it here on MWO. Can you say tragedy?
So, the truth is Cassander, I don't really know what your part in Murphyx's departure was and I'm using your thread to vent. I apologize if it offends you. It is not my intention. And it is not my intention to offend anyone. But, truth to tell, I find that taking offense in almost any case is some part of my own unexamined inner self and generally serves to perpetuate lack of self-examination.
Huh . . . i just remembered Murph's signature line. I never thought of winding up here, but it's a good place to stop, pay homage to Murph's incredible contributions to this forum and remember that "the unexamined life is not worth living." And I believe that refers to one's own life, not to the examination of other's lives.
Don't leave, Cassandra. You've just touched the surface of an incredibly deep well of, as you described, highly intelligent people, sharing their journeys' in order to help others. There's soooo much of value here in so many ways. Immerse yourself. Drink in the desperation and courage; the commitment to help others; the many, many ways that we all are dying to keep ourselves and others from dying from the deeply misunderstood disease of alcoholism. And help us out. We all need everybody.
Peace out, all (thanks, ne!)
Beth
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